What will I do to remove my hatred from my Dad?
February 2, 2007 7:20am CST
I hate my Dad. I have so many things to tell against him but I cannot do it. I want to burst it out but I have no strong guts to tell it to him. He is a man that is full of anger. He hates all his children. Even in my childhood he used to get quick anger whenever we did wrong at home (like household chores). He bumped my head on the wall. He pinched my thigh hardly and slapped my face as it swollen the surface area. The worst when he was drunk he's yelling very loud and the things will be pick up will be thrown to us. He has vices too like too much drinking hard alcoholic drink and smoke dependent. Any advice from you will be appreciated.
3 Feb 07
that is sad indeed. you are really brave to fight it day in and day out and the emotiional torture is unseen but i feel is more than the physical one. it's really hrd for we cannot disclaim our parents and have to klive with them no matter what. just try to stay there trying to accept the fact that he is sick and paranoid till ofcourse you get a good job and get financially independent. i wonder how your mom withstands it! i just hope things get better and with time your father comes of age and actually sobers down. good luck
3 Feb 07
My mom has nothing to do and deal with it. That's what I really hate her too. She has no withstand for us. He still dependent to my dad. Though she is disrespected by Dad still she loves him. She really loves my Dad. Thats why I until now I hate seeing them until I prove to myself that I can make things acceptable to them.
13 Feb 07
cuddiluk, you are indeed very brave to deal with this for such a long time. i know, u gonna overome this and overcome pretty soon. jus let go sweety, go ahead, make your life , live your days and live it more for the days you couldnot. good luck, i am sure you gonna win.
3 Feb 07
I want peace of mind. Clean and calm heart. I want everything out in peace before I die. We don't know what gonna happen next or tomorrow to us. I want to have forgiven heart but I cannot do it. Because there is still inside in me that I need to assert up. Really, really, really hard.
13 Feb 07
You will only get peace of mind once you can forgive your father, and this needs to be done for yourself rather than for him. You are an adult now, with children of your own, and so you must get rid of the hatred you have for your father or it could spoil the relationship you have with your own children. Hatred is a very strong emotion, and that means is also has a bad effect on us in many ways. If you feel that you cannot talk to your father or tell him how you feel, then is it really necessary to see him at all? It might help you a lot to come to terms with what happened in your childhood if you have no contact with your father. At the same time, talk to your local Priest (or whatever depending on your religion) for some guidance. At the same time, talk things through with your family, i.e. sisters and brothers, as well because they are possibly suffering the same as you are. Good luck and remember that we make choices in this life, and you can choose to allow him to harm you mentally now you are an adult or you can let it all go, and keep him out of your life.
• United States
9 Feb 07
I cant answer the why for you about your Dad! I have to tell you many things though. I know that "Hatred destroys the vessel which carries it". My Dad left us when I was 12, to be with a neighbor woman. He kept changing his mind back and forth so he hurt us terribly. Then after this he, fought with my Mom through us children. On top of that he didnt pay child support and kept us hungry and barely clothed. My mother was able to work at a minimum wage sewing job. This left me to care for my younger siblings. Anyhow enough of the bad. I discovered that I to live a good and proper life with my family had to forgive the hurt and get on with my life, in a positive parenting way. To do this I had to show love to my parents and demonstrate what it means to have family. Although I dont think I have fully released all the hurt I have made amends with my father and worked to release all the hurt and anger that was boiling within me. He couldnt hurt me any more I realized, if I didnt enable it. You as an adult can take the steps to release yourself of this burden. You dont have to be in a place where he can hurt you any longer. You dont have to see him but you need to allow your children to learn love not that is is okay to carry hate. Hatred can make you physically ill and lose control of emotion and reason. It is not worth the labor of carrying all that into the future. Love and Grace God Bless YOU and YOURS!!