What to say What to say HELP!

United States
February 3, 2007 3:36pm CST
I have not posted for a few days I have had a writers blovk so bad you couldnt even imagine. things have been very hetic around here and I have not had time to really relax. My sister in law has fallen bery ill and is in the hosptial again(she just got out monday and had been in since december2) she is on kidney dialisis and has diabeties really bad. the last surgery she had on her shunt gave her an infection so bad they were going to have to amputate her leg. well she went back in the hosptila again on friday night. they are talking about putting her in a nursing home she is only 42 or 43. my mother in law had asked me if i would quit my job and get paid by the state to take creof her all the time after she gets home. I dont want to say yes because i dont think that is right getting paid to take of family. but i cant afford not to work. I babysit my neice on monday thru friday and recieve no pay. so what do you think? should i wuit and take the pay should i quit and not take the pay should i tell her no what do i do
2 people like this
3 responses
@scalpelo (271)
• Bulgaria
4 Feb 07
Very difficult situation.I want wish you and your sister good luck and I hope she will be right!
1 person likes this
• United States
4 Feb 07
thank you for your wishes
@mari61960 (4895)
• United States
4 Feb 07
I think first you should decide if you are up to the job and what it will entail. Cargiving can be very stressful. I think that you should accept the pay as the state is paying it. If your relative had to pay it I may think otherwise. Your time is definately worth money. If they are considering putting her in a nursing home is it for rehabilitation? I was in one more than once due to having flesh eating bacteria in 2000 and I'm only 46 now. I had a visiting nurse at home for over a year. So only you can decide these things. If it's something you would like to do and taking that money and quitting your present job won't cause a hardship, then I would do it. If it's going to cause forseeable problems then you should say no. I hope I've helped. I had to spend all day alone except my two bandage changes daily and that just stunk. I was worried all the time that I would bleed or fall or my colostomy bag would leak, or my treache tube would clog. It was just awful for the longest time. I sure wish I had someone to stay with me.
• United States
4 Feb 07
well when she came home on monday the nurse came out on tuesday and put her wound vac on and then on tuesday at dialisis she took another turn for the worse and her dr. admitted her. when she left this rehab hosptial we thought that she was able to sit and stand by herself and that wasnt the case at all.I was walking back and forth from their house to mine helping her get up and stuff. she is going to be put i the nursing home for rehabilitation. then she will be comming home. and that is when they need me to take care of her. (i work at the nursing home she will be at ) so it may be easier on her from that stand point
• United States
3 Feb 07
Oh, this is a difficult situation indeed. If I were in your shoes, I would ask myself, "What do I really prefer (and reading through your problem, I think you prefer to work)"? If you choose the other one (which is to be paid by the state to take care of her), and feels uncomfortable about this decision which in the end will most probably make you unhappy, then why go for it? It's really hard to please everybody but it's also very important to think of your situation. You don't want to keep asking yourself later, "What if..?" Don't worry, be strong! You will eventually know what to do!
1 person likes this