Men Laying Hands on Women

salad - delicious salad
Philippines
February 5, 2007 8:19am CST
What do you say about this sad reality? Glad my boyfriend has never laid his hands on me. Men beating women is a serious social issue. No one has the right to hurt anyone. Boyfriends have no right to beat their girlfriends. Not even husbands are justified in beating their wives. We’ve heard of battered wives, abused spouses. I’ve heard of this since I was young and I continue to hear this kinds of stories. There are many break-ups because of this and there are many litigations, annulment, separation, divorce because of this as well. When will this stop? Women who are physically abused should not stay in that kind of relationship and must report the matter to the authorities. Their life is at stake in this case. Injuries battered women sustain may not be severe at first but next beatings can be deadly.
19 people like this
66 responses
@mimatexas (1835)
• United States
5 Feb 07
It's sad and frustating to see husbands beating up their wives. I think this shouldn't happen. They should show love to each other and respect. Yes, they should report it to the authorities and not stay in that relationship. At the beginning my husband was very jealous and wanted to put his hands on me but I stopped him and told him I would leave him if he did that. He has never layed his hands on me and not even attempt it.
• Philippines
5 Feb 07
thanks mimatexas for that response. am sorry for that photo in my discussion. i was uploading a photo in my interest while i was also starting the discussion. i was shocked to see that photo in this discussion. it should have been a photo of a man and a woman. mylot is sometimes weird. again am so sorry. the photo did not match my discussion. i hate it. i think mylot should resolve this problem with their system.
2 people like this
@maryannemax (12170)
• Sweden
6 Feb 07
you're right mimatexas. husbands and boyfriends are supposed to love their partners. they did not propose to us so htey can have someone to hurt but instead, have someone to love, right?
1 person likes this
@limosonia1 (1559)
• United States
5 Feb 07
I am not sure if it is getting worse or women are finally not putting up with it and speaking out. You just seem to hear so much of it. There is no reason for anybody to put there hands on somebody else. If you are that angry walk away. What does hitting somebody that is weaker than you prove. It makes me angry to hear about it but even angrier when a women puts up with it.
• United States
6 Feb 07
its really crazy because all of the women that i know that get beat are free to talk about it and just "let it happen" it seems weird why females just love to be treated badly but then i have to say men are treated badly too. it just seems like whoever is the better looking person in the relationship usually says what goes until the other gets tired of it
1 person likes this
@rlshaw (872)
• United States
5 Feb 07
When I was young, one of my very first relationships I had a boyfriend that would hit me and threaten me.. It was a very hard situation. I remember being scared to tell anyone. He use to tell me that no one would believe me and that I was to blame .. I made him do it... Finally I did get up enough courage to leave.. but to this day I never told my parents.. I can't imagine what my dad would have done... IT is very serious and if this does happen to someone .. they should get out the first time it happens because it will never stop it will just get worse.
4 people like this
• Saint Vincent And The Grenadines
11 Feb 07
congratulations for having the courage to break with that situation...many people find themselves in situations of abuse, physical and psychological, and find it very hard to stop it. Cases like yours are an example and an inspiration for them, way to go. By the way, you males also be careful, mistreat can go both ways, especially psychological and nobody has to put up with it.
@rodnic12 (129)
• United States
5 Feb 07
I agree with you one hundred percent. I also feel about ti the other way around. Women should never put your hands on your man. I grew up watching my lil sister father beat my mother. She always fought back and sometimes messed him upi real good. But seeing this as a child and running to the next house to call the police was very embarassing. But it's life, I have thoughts about every once and awhile. What makes me mad is that my mother denies it like I dont remember. I just dont think Men or Women should raise there hand to one another.
• Philippines
5 Feb 07
yes i agree with that too. neither women nor men should lay their hands on one another. am confused with what you said, your mother is beating your father? is that what you mean?
2 people like this
• Guam
5 Feb 07
I think that the phenomenon of men laying their hands on women is a most horrible and despicable act. I have witnessed this horrible act first hand (when I was a small kid, at a shopping mall, the man was restrained by the police). It truly is a horrible occurence, but, sadly, one that goes on till this very day, despite all the advances that mankind has made. Women are superior to men(I'm a guy), and as such, I believe that it is very wrong to hit a woman. A man has no right to hit a woman, it's downright cowardly. If you want to hit someone, pick on somebody ypour own size! I believe that men who hit women should be brought up and meted out the harshest punishment that can be mustered. Mpore awareness is also needed, as many women, especially in the Asian region, are unaware of their rights, and as such, suffer in silence.
4 people like this
@yanjiaren (9050)
5 Feb 07
ny creates model for battered women.. - ny creates model for battereed women
even worse..if they have kids..the kids grow up thinking that this is normal..and so another generation is exposed to this ugliness..to be honest i think in schoold the kids should be learning social skills and prctical problem solving cos they are definately not often getting enough balanced input from home..especially if they come from broken homes and not getting enough attention..it is sad that abuse ..physical or verbal can lead to such long term damage..these bullies have to be stopped..but often enough these men have been victims of abuse too..and have grown up to think battering their wives is o.k..
@cheenlly (3483)
• Philippines
5 Feb 07
definitely no one has the right to beat women nor even use an abusive words to them. Not only women but for all. we have the right to be protected against it. its very sad to hear that some tolerate it and let them happen. Women that are weak should know their rights and protect themself from such abuse and men should be respectful and dont do such an abusive act. If your a victim of such dont be afraid and report it immediately to authorities.
@mbarryton (1872)
• United States
5 Feb 07
i agree with you totally but unfortunately it happens. i myself has never been hit on by any man but i have been verbally abused and tats just as bad if not worse.Some men should be alot more respectful.
3 people like this
• Nigeria
5 Feb 07
you're right that its a sad reality that men hit thier women, you're also right that no man has the right to do that but the really really sad reality is that most(please notice i said most) women who stay in physically abused realtionships like the fact that they're being abused because it sometimes gives them satisfaction that they're being pitied,makes them feel they're with a true strong man, they probably have no where else to go and for most women with kids, they jus dont want thier kids to grow up in a divorced home. Unfortunately thats the reality of it.
2 people like this
• United States
5 Feb 07
My father was abusive to all of us. My mom lived in it for 46 years. She had four kids and didn't know if she would make it on her own. My dad always told her the only way should could make it was lying on her back. He had her so brain washed. My mother came from a very poor family. She was the oldest of ten. Her mother didn't teach her anything. Her mother told her when she was 17 that she would sign the papers for her to get married. She only knew my dad for one week. After they were married, he started getting violent and jealous. But he was the only one that was not being faithful. My sister also lived in a abusive marriage for 16 years. I don't know why women choose to live like this. I know that I would never allow anyone to hurt me. I wouldn't stay with anyone that would hurt me.
@Marie2473 (8519)
• Sweden
5 Feb 07
I can not even begin to tell you how much I have to say about this subject =) I had a bf who abused me bad for years so I know what it is like to be the woman and let me tell you - it is Hell.. It took a long time for me to get away from him - but I did and I am so happy today with a man who wouldn´t even dream of hurting me.
1 person likes this
@byfaithonly (10716)
• United States
5 Feb 07
Good job and congratulations. I'm the same way, if I get the least little feeling a man may lean that way - I'm outta there no ifs ands or buts. I now have 3 sons and have brought them up - you can hit anything in the world but a women, a child, or an animal. And although I have had several holes in walls they have followed my teachings.
@all4ucnc (861)
• United States
10 Feb 07
I grew up in a home where my mom was abused, and still remember staying the home for battered women and children, when the cops had to come and remove us all from a bad situation. It's not just tramatising for the women involved, but I assure you it affects the kids too, even if you think they don't know,.....They know, they don't miss a thing, I was only 5 then, and remember everything..
@rhie0216 (289)
• Philippines
6 Feb 07
I don't know why some men likes to hurt their woman. I don't do it to the one I love cause hurting somebody will not gain you anything. Are they satisfied when they hurt their partner. It will only cause pain and hatred. Don't they really care about their partners welfare?
1 person likes this
• Saint Vincent And The Grenadines
5 Feb 07
I am glad you posted this topic cuddle...domestic violence is a serious problems, and doesn't distinguish between rich and poor, high or low class etc. violence is expressed in many ways. Physically, where its mostly inflicted from men (well monsters) to women, though not exclusively. And then psychologically, where the things are more balanced between men and women. nobody should have to put up with any kind of violence of any kind, my advice is to break from it as soon as possible...no way out from it can be worse than violence at home.
1 person likes this
@Ravenladyj (22937)
• United States
5 Feb 07
Sadly physical abuse isnt the only form of domestic abuse..I was in a physically abusive relationship when I was 15, we lived together and he was a cruel person...but I was also in a mentally and emotionally abusive relationship (with my childrens father actually) for many yrs andn I can honestly say that it did more damage to me than getting smacked around...I'm not sayign its like this for all ppl (men get abused too and that I am also familiar with because I was an abuser AFTER that smack happy relationship I was trapped in)..but for me personally, physical wounds are temporary...emotional and mental wounds scar for life....I can take and toss out beatings with the best of them, I'm a street kid, I had to toughen up that way but being mentally/emotionally beaten has the power to destroy me..Mind you at the age I am now and all I've been through getting to me like that is NOT an easy thing to do in fact there are only 2 or 3 ppl I know of that could pull it off really... When will it stop? Sadly it wont...to this day the numbers of reported domestic violence cases are very low in comparison to the actual cases if that makes sense....So many are never reported...and whats even more sad is I really dont think the system cares as much as they claim to...if they did there wouldnt be the issues and lack of money for the shelters, there would be better and more programs in place rather than having only one or two per city that have waiting lists that can be as long as 1 yr or more..... I'd love LOVE to have the money to open up a shelter for abused women and children as well as street kids actually...I'd like to have a community of sorts where they can come to live and feel safe while relearning life, learning the skills they need to make it on their own successfully, get the counseling they need and learn their self worth and so on....
1 person likes this
• Philippines
5 Feb 07
No one has the right to hurt a women whether verbally and physically especially inside the relationship. It is really the bad side of this world, I guess women who are suffering from that should stand up and fight for their right as a human being. For me if the husband laid hands on his wife, it simply means they don't love her enough so they should not waste time on such people.
• Canada
5 Feb 07
it is a primordial theme, males managing business with their hands. They, or should I say we, do that when dealing both with fellow males and with females. Certainly, with fellow males more. When will it stop ? When a bigger force will intervene to stop us. This force being government, authority in general.
1 person likes this
• United States
5 Feb 07
If a man ever put his hands on me I would hit him back. No man has any right to control a woman and women need to stand up and not take that abuse.
1 person likes this
@vkkesu (78)
• United States
5 Feb 07
No one should stay in a relationship like this, but unless you've been there, you have no idea how hard it is to leave. They make you feel like it was your fault to begin with...then when it blows over, they are acting like they feel so sorry and beg for forgivness. You see that good person again, and hope for the best. They keep you feeling so unworthy, unless you are a strong person to begin with, it is so tuff to get out. The laws have changed (at least in Missouri) to make it easier in the last 20 years, which is good. Abuse does start with yelling, cursing, shoving and intemidating someone. They do not have to use their fist for it to be called abuse. It took me seeing (my ex) shove someone other than me to open my eyes. You feel scared and alone, and embarrased that you could get in a position like this. Thankfully we had no children. Starting over is hard but so worth it!
1 person likes this
@nowment (1758)
• United States
5 Feb 07
Men or women should not hit or beat others. If no one hit in the first place defense wouldn't be needed. It is wrong for men to hit women men in general are usually the stronger. It is equally wrong for women to take advantage of a guy that won't hit by hitting them. Unfortunately the emotional manipulation, or fear that goes with the physical violence can be worse because it can create a situation where in the begining men say they are sorry, but then do it again only to apologize again, when you love someone you want to believe they mean and in many cases they do mean it, until something sets them off again. In rare instances there are men who will get help. Or women who can put a stop to it. I knew a woman who had been married for 17 years. She is 4'11 her husband is 6'3, he raised his hand to her once, and only once during the first few months of marriage, she didn't seem to get upset outwardly she remained calm, walked into the kitchen got the butcher knife, sat in the rocker in the corner and told him "you have to go to sleep sometime". He didn't sleep for a couple of weeks and it was months before he slept soundly. But he never raised a hand to her again ever. Unfortunately it is more often the case like a woman I know of where it just got progressively worse, and more controlling, until one day he tried to hit her kids, then she walked out, but by then she had no money, no friends left, no one to turn to, she spent some time in a shelter but even after a year of working to support herself and 3 kids the only furniture they had were their beds. I know she and her sons are going to make it and I hope her older sons do not repeat the pattern they witnessed, but if she got out sooner, or if she had set up some way to protect herself sooner, she would have had it easier to get away. When I was young I was told to always keep a savings account one that no one else knows about, because when you are young and in love you always think "it can't happen to me" I have been fortunate that it hasn't happened to me. But I still think it was good advice.
1 person likes this