For Parents....

Philippines
February 6, 2007 2:38am CST
what do you think should parent do to best discipline their childrens? is slapping and hitting them the best punishment ever? do you think parents must just talk to their kids more than slap or hit them? parents how did you discipline you child?? i do think that hitting is the best way of punishment but parents must not do that act always, because the kids might think that their parents doesnt love them anymore if they were being hit always.. i think that disciplining a child must be done with the right punishment and a good and understanding talk as well..
4 people like this
44 responses
• Philippines
7 Feb 07
i think we have to talk first and tell them that it is wrong if they did wrong, but if they do it again and again, the kids deserves a punsihment,. my mother used to hit us with bamboo stick in the butt,in order to punish us, and after that she will talk and tell us why she did that,and we understand.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
7 Feb 07
lucky for you it was just a bamboo..when i was little i was hit by the buckle of the belt then i was kneeled on rices and salt with my hands raised sideward with a book on both of my hands.. but then i understand why i they did it..i was rude when i was just little..look what i am now im totally new person and fully mature because of that.
1 person likes this
@classy56 (2883)
• United States
6 Feb 07
a parent should not ever slap an hit their kids.to be a good parent you need to take time an explain to the child what they did wrong to make sure they dont do it again.takeing the child favorite things away from them is better than hitting them an plus it saves your butt from getting charged with abuse.parents need to spend more quality time with their children.like talk to them an see whats going on with them no matter what age they are.this saves alot of mistakes a child makes.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
6 Feb 07
in other country a parents who find guilty hitting their children will be charged and fined..but some other countries dont follow that rule.. talking is just the best way for little kids..
1 person likes this
@ash2_hot (224)
• India
6 Feb 07
Slapping and hitting is no solution. Instead rewarding them for their obedience and good behaviour from childhood and having straight one to one talks is a much better alternative. Of course you have to stamo your authority once in a while according to the issue and situation to discipline kids. But alternatives to hitting should be more in practice as compared to punisments in the form of hitting.
• Philippines
6 Feb 07
some kids doesnt follow parents if they were just talking to them..some kids find discipline in authority of the parents..
1 person likes this
• Philippines
7 Feb 07
I have three grown up kids and i have to say this as a parent that i have never in all their lifetimes hit, slap in the face, whack or any other kind of physical abuse inflicted to any one of my kids. My wife and I do not subscribe to that kind of discipline imposed on our children. Some restrictions maybe like, my girl is not allowed to go out without her big brother accompanying her or stern warnings, oral reprimands that may register easily on their young minds.
1 person likes this
• India
6 Feb 07
Parents from the child hood only should start teaching the moral lessons, the sense of right and wrong should be built right from the grass root
1 person likes this
• Australia
7 Feb 07
I had five children of my own and I have worked in children's and youth ministry for over forty years. I still work with children in a weekly program and in several camps and holiday clubs each year. I believe that POSITIVE discipline will always achieve much more than negative. When this is used, from the beginning of a child's life, there is very seldom a need to resort to anything more severe than a look, a talk, or maybe a deprivation of a toy, or an activity etc for a set time. When good behaviour and kind actions are constantly thanked and praised, a child will not want any attention from bad behaviour. I have had almost uncontrollable children in a club situation where positive discipline has brought about remarkable results. These children will not react favourably to being TOLD to do something, but are quite happy to oblige when an order is changed to a friendly, "thanks for picking that up, Johnny". Misbehaviour is often corrected by getting alongside, cheering on and helping - and next time they ask if they can help: a thing unheard of by their parents. In the majority of cases hitting should not be necessary, except in the case of a very young toddler where a slap is sometimes warranted: eg a slap on the hand to warn of the danger of a hot stove. Parenting is not easy. It is a full time job, but when it is done in a positive way, it will reap huge dividends.
• Philippines
7 Feb 07
yahh..i think also that parenting requires full time job..that's why i salute parents out there who handle their family good and better..
1 person likes this
• United States
7 Feb 07
I have been in creative parenting and workshops, I beleive that this could work sometimes, It also has to be backed by a daycare provider and other caregivers or it doesn't work. There are also many times I have found that my children are smarter than the whole positive direction sceme, It works to a point and then runs out of steam once they figure out the boundries they continue to push.
@abhiquest (580)
• India
7 Feb 07
I think the best way we can discipline our child is by disciplining ourselves and becoming role models for them.
• Philippines
8 Feb 07
parents that is good model for their kids can make their kids better person..parents are the one who are being followed by their kids.
1 person likes this
@samson17 (241)
• Romania
7 Feb 07
The approack with love is the best way of teaching them...i thing .
• Indonesia
8 Feb 07
I could not agree more with you.
@rsa101 (13336)
• Philippines
7 Feb 07
I don't believe that by slapping them you would discipline a child. A child is intelligent enough to decipher what he has done wrong. If a parent is angry and would try to hurt his child it would do no good but leave a bad impression to the child. I would rather lecture him and try to tell him why he should not do it again. Hitting can only be effective at first but then children can become immune to it and wouldn't be an effective way of disciplining him.
• Philippines
8 Feb 07
yeah totally agree..because my cousin was always hit by his mom when he was little and now that his in 3rd year high school he doesnt feel pain when his mom hit him again.i think the pain has got into his immunity that's why he doesnt feel anything anymore..but despite of that he loves his mom..coz we always told him that it was done because his mom just wanted to make him better..he totally understand his mom..
1 person likes this
• Philippines
7 Feb 07
I never did agree to hitting children. The child would end up just knowing that he/she did something wrong yet not truly understand why. Parents should raise their children with love, and not fear.
• Philippines
8 Feb 07
parents i think must talk to kids especially if they just little..so that they can more understand parents..beside parents are great teacher..
1 person likes this
@getnbuy (1315)
• United States
7 Feb 07
Oh, please don't slap or hit your kids! My mother spanked me a lot and made me very resentful and also very afraid to be myself. why not try putting the child on time out? The rule is 2 minutes for each age of the child - a 2 year old sits for 4 minutes, etc. Be sure they know what they did wrong and be sure they stay there (set the timer) for the whole time. another thing that is important is to be sure the child understands what he can't do and what will happen if he does it. Then he can choose to be bad or good. This is advice from a Grandma.
• Philippines
8 Feb 07
i will definitely follow all what you've said if i finally have a child of my on..i myself was also slap and hit by my parents when i was little and i dont like my children- to-be to felt the pain that i felt when i was hit..but if their just too rude i think spanking them is a choice for me to do..
1 person likes this
• United States
7 Feb 07
First of I would never Slap or Hit my child..... I would however spank them. There is a huge difgference in Hitting a child, slapping a child and then there is spanking a child. I only used spanking as a last resort with my children and when they were very little I would only lightly spank theri hand. I would usually only use this if they or someone else would be put in danger by what they were choosing to do. My children are very well behaved, I have not had to spank them in ages! They are well manered, they don't talk back and they are good students. I never had to baby proof my house and moveall of my glass knick nacks and pictures to higher places because my children learned right from wrong, I also didn't have to worry about them youching other peoples things they knew better. Some people say spanking is wrong and you might agree with them until you meet their children!
• Philippines
8 Feb 07
wow..i think you raised you children good enouh to trust them..i think you make them good people..and im proud of you..my parents,eventhough they hit me and spank me they sure have reasons for that and i totally understand it..that's why im a better person now..
1 person likes this
@nishdan01 (3055)
• Singapore
7 Feb 07
also agree and can attest that spanking is not the most effective form of discipline, parents can choose the alternatives that depend on their child's personality. Major principle that I like to follow and instill in my children is that good behavior will get them good consequences just as bad behavior will get them bad consequences, because this is how things work in real life. If we can teach this early to our children they will be equipped to function in a real world and that is in my opinion our main goal. So, I always notice the desired behavior and try to reward it by praise or otherwise by doing something special with them that they like. It is very important to include positive "discipline" in our overall parental philosophy, without it the other part will never work. Kids need to know especially when they get big enough to understand ,that we don't discipline them for our "pleasure" but for their good. I tell my kids that if I do wrong , I will face "discipline" too in form of bad consequences, I will have to pay money if I get speeding ticket etc. It just depends on your kids what you should choose but it has to be important consequence for them and you will have to be consistent. These alternatives will change as they grow but the principle stays the same: there are consequences for everyones actions.
• Philippines
8 Feb 07
giving kids consequences for thier doings is i also think the best way to make child walks in a positive and good way..i myself was raised by that way but sometimes my parents doesnt have a choice but to also hit me but then they talks to me after that, that's why i understand them why they hit me...
1 person likes this
• United States
7 Feb 07
My parents used to spank me a lot growing up. Same for my sister. It was really sad. I never learned anything to NOT do. I didnt learn to NOT do things because it was bad but I worried I'd get a spanking and tried to get out of it by putting things in my pants like pillows or other stuff. When we got too older for spanking there were things like get grounded, standing in corners, and I think I probably tasted a soap once or twice. I had to write sentences. I might not have kids yet but I plan to NOT use spanking unless its beyond the last resort. Our parents have very big mood swings and always get really upset. Too bad as kids we didnt know they were just having their usual mood swings. It messed me and my sister up pretty badly cause we always thought it was our fault they were mad. Probably why we got spanked so much growing up. btw we never got any talks either. It was just run, hide, oh no he found us, spank spank, pain pain thats it.
• Philippines
7 Feb 07
oww..sorry to hear that..i have spank and hit most of my childhood life but i was healed a long time ago and i knew it was really my fault and my mom always talks to me after that..
1 person likes this
• United States
7 Feb 07
i do think you using the word hitting was not a good choice of words. perhaps you meant spanking. I agree to a certain degree. i myself grew up and did not get spanked. my brother did because he was very unruly. one thing my mom did when she wanted to get her point across was to grab our face and get right in our face and talked to us. that way she KNEW she had our attention. as for being for or against it...as long as a parents does not go to extremes hitting, there is nothign wrong with it. a spanking should be more a light sting...nothing that leaves red marks or anything. it is basically an attention getter to kids!
• Philippines
7 Feb 07
i myself is spank by my parents when i was just a little and now i realized that their right and i was wrong i admit it and feel sorry for what i've done before..now im more mature because of that..
1 person likes this
@lpetges (3036)
• United States
7 Feb 07
when my kids were past the toddler stage and in grade school, if they misbehaved-i would make them write (not type on the computer)with a pencil or pen 1000 times "I will not fight with my brother" or whatever they did wrong. they hated that much more than fighting. it actually helped with their spelling and penmanship.
• Philippines
7 Feb 07
wow..that was actually great..punishing them like that can really help their penmanship and spelling..i think i remember one incident like that..it was at school..one of my classmate was punish to do that by being late in class..the teacher tells him to write "i will come to school early" 500 times only..
1 person likes this
• Philippines
7 Feb 07
I want my kid to do the proper things not because out of fear that I might hit him if I find him do the opposite. Rather, I want him do the proper things out of awareness that he must do it for the sake of its goodness. Hittimg the kid could leave a scar, more than just the physical scar, it could develop in him a behavior that would be more problematic as he/ she grows up. A nice and let me add, a loving talk, could help him/ her realize the values the parents want to impart. The kid discipline this way is a better person than the one beaten each day. As punishment for misdeeds, ones that is not carnal in nature like grounding him or her could work. Or simply showing him/ her how deeply you are hurt or dismayed by ignoring him/ her will also work. But never overdo this, once you have your kid felt how bad it was for you to see him/ her do bad things, he will realize his/ her mistake and come for amendments. Give that to him with advice.
• Philippines
7 Feb 07
one of my freind told me that it is better to be spank than to heard something that his parents told him..bcause spnk of a parent can be easily healed than the pain done by the thought that parents tell their kids.. that was one of my friend thought..
1 person likes this
@072006 (1279)
• India
6 Feb 07
nope, i dont think so that hitting child, giving slap as of so called punishment , nope i dont think it can work in a way really parents want to work. Infact if parents keep on hitting their kids, those child may feel that its nothing new and will take granted always when parents hits, thats equally dengerous when they feel you dont love you kids, best way is talk to them about issues and make them aware with what they had done!!!!!!
• Philippines
7 Feb 07
i totally agree,talking is nice to both kids and teens..they can understand more in that..but some i think will never listen..some kids are just too rude..
1 person likes this
• Philippines
6 Feb 07
Hitting your child will result to negative and aggressive behaviors. You will surely gain obedience from your child but NEVER gain respect. Respect your child if you want him to respect you in return..
• Philippines
7 Feb 07
respect is i think the best thing to have for both parents and child relationship..
1 person likes this
• United States
6 Feb 07
I don't think hitting is the solution. My son has probably been spanked 3 or 4 times. One for running through the Super Walmart parking lot. He tore out from my hand and took off running, Another for acting up in the store and throwing a royal fit which he never did again. We try to only spank for serious issues--mostly ones that can hurt him like running through the parking lot--except for the one he got spanked while acting up. We mostly reward and take away. The have a money dish and if they are bad, we may take away a few cents which ALWAYS upsets them. They usually earn it back. We don't take their money to keep it.
• Philippines
7 Feb 07
earning money as a reward for the kids make them happy..i myself has done it when i was just a child..
1 person likes this