single vs. taken

@langhua (501)
China
February 7, 2007 6:13am CST
i have noticed i feel happier and more at peace being single.there no drame and no emotional upheaveals in my life ...i sleep soundly at night and i have much less anxiety .i can think more clearly and just enjoy my days.then there are times i think about how nice it would be to be involved again...but do i really want to trade that for the contentment i have now?sure ,i suppose one could have both the happiness and the relationship. any one else feel this way?
9 people like this
49 responses
• United States
7 Feb 07
I think it depends on the individual, and what makes them happy. Most people hate being alone, and they'll get involved with someone just so they won't be alone. Or they'll get involved with someone for financial security. I've experienced both in the past. My dream is to become involved with someone just for the pure sake of being madly in love with them. To me, if you can find someone that you feel like you can be alone, even if you're with them...I mean you can totally be you, and not be judged by them, or manipulated by them, or controlled by them, if they accepted you and respected you for who you were, (and you did the same for them of course), then being in a relationship would be wonderful. Anyway, I'm alone now too, and I like it very much. I love living alone, I'm my own judge, and critic, I enjoy my own company. If I must be involved, I want to not live with them, just maybe see them on the weekends, I'd want them to be a good friend, maybe a lover..I don't know....if it got complicated I'd nix that part...I also sleep very well at night by myself. When I'm alone, nothing is expected of me by someone else, I set my own expectatins. I don't know how old you are...I'm 59...been there, done that....and I'm very happy being by myself.
4 people like this
• Philippines
7 Feb 07
wow, I learned something from that of your situation...it really depends on the person..
7 Feb 07
I think I would rather be single than be in an unhappy relationships. However I think that once you find someone to truely love who you can live with in true harmony and peace then that makes you even happier as you can share the stresses of life with each other and sleep even easier.
2 people like this
@langhua (501)
• China
8 Feb 07
i like it too.i also like to have a well relationtion.all about that is i want to have a happy time .if either of the both can take happy to me ,i rather want to have in an relationships.
@LindaLou (483)
• Canada
7 Feb 07
I agree with you that I would definitely be single than in a couple just for the sake of being someone, even if it was an unhappy relationship. Luckily, I'm in a very good relationship with very little drama where I am content to just be myself. He puts up with all my little quirks and I put up with his and honestly I hardly even notice them anymore. While the guy who generates lots of drama might seem exciting, it's the one who knows how to avoid it the majority of the time who can actually make you happy.
1 person likes this
• United States
7 Feb 07
Yes, not trying to change and control you type of guys are real good, and real hard to find. And the guy that avoids drama when possible and only when necessary is the man you want because he respects you and others and will raise your children right without comprising you or others. You'd be happy and feel your life has grown not shrunk, and has improved instead of gone downhill. Best of wishes in finding the one.
• United States
7 Feb 07
I think being in a relationship is better BUT ONLY IF you are in a healthy relationship. Being single though sometimes you dont have the problems of a relationship there are also times where you want a companion and you want that relationship feelings but you dont have it. Relationships will have their ups and downs but if you are in a good one the bad times will be few and far in between.
1 person likes this
@avs189 (1030)
• India
7 Feb 07
Truly depends upon an individual ....whether they do wanna get involved in relationships or not ...totally depends upon u .....all problems are caused due to human mind and abt ur approach to the life,,,jsut pray that God keeps u fine and removes sorrow from evrybody's life...
1 person likes this
@healer (1783)
• India
7 Feb 07
I am single at the moment and i like what i am now. I have gone through a lot in life, life was rude hhmm somebody was rude and it took me time to come back to the real me. I was lost but now am the happiest person on this planet. Being single is the best no heartaches hehehe and i'll try to single always
@rosie_123 (6118)
7 Feb 07
Well, to me, it is always better to be alone, than with the wrong person. So if you are happier now than you were in a relationship, I think that is just because you haven't met the right person yet. when you do, it will be like finding your "soul mate", but until you find them, it is better to be alone snd contented I think.
@yanjiaren (9050)
7 Feb 07
i was in a very difficult marriage so i felt alone in more ways than one..the unity between two souls is priceless..with my new husband we have had to face so much..but when i cuddle up at night to him..there is no price for that..there is yin and yang..and the great Dao defines this throughout all creation..yes it is good for one to reflect in one's own wu ji..or emptiness...but it is also great to share that intensity with a soulmate..xiexie nin..
@livvy092002 (1003)
• Philippines
8 Feb 07
I prefer to be in a relationship as long as i have someone who sincerely and truly loves me and who i sincerely and truly loves back. There are advantages in both being 'single' or 'taken' but both also have its disadvantages. But having a relationship with the right person deserves sacrifices. Other than that, its better to remain single than being with the wrong person in an unhappy relationship.
@vivien_9 (229)
• Philippines
8 Feb 07
yeah,, right
• Philippines
9 Feb 07
thanks. i am 'single' too but i admit i wanted to have a relationship someday and take on with the responsibilities.:)
• Philippines
9 Feb 07
as for now, i am just enjoying the moment that i am single and free..
@merkava (1225)
• Philippines
16 Mar 07
I have a relationship and it's no problem for me. I guess it all boils down to compatibility, compromise, trust and understanding. I've seen a lot of my guy friends entering a relationship and they're not at all prepared to deal with it. I gotta admit it was fun being single, less responsibilities.
@karen_24 (320)
• Philippines
16 Mar 07
taken because u can what u want hehehehe
@wolfie34 (26792)
• United Kingdom
8 Feb 07
I am in total agreement with you! I feel the same, I have had relationships which I have been trapped in, felt dominated, pressurized and controlled, I do not want that. I am very happy being single, I am in control of my own life, no one to worry about, I don't have to share my life and I am free! It's great to be single, no ties, no commitments. I am going to spend the rest of my life on my own!
@dragutelu (216)
• Romania
8 Feb 07
single ;)
@lingli_78 (12841)
• Australia
8 Feb 07
well, i agree that being single is more peaceful as you don't have to share your life with anybody and hence, you won't experience any problem... but now that i am already married, i wouldn't want to be single again despite of all the problems and arguments that we have once in a while... the reason is simple... i have a person to share my life and my burden with... also my happiness... and you can't trade those with anything in this world... good luck...
@edwoks (9)
• Nigeria
8 Feb 07
I feel proud and elated to be taken than being single,because i believe life is in phases today single and tomorrow taken.When one is taken,one moves away from the hustle and bustle of making and keepng a relationship and loosing it the next moment but when one is taken and believes in it the joy of it is marvelous and beyond words.
8 Feb 07
I have been in relationships good and bad the first person I fell in love with I was to young, my second was wrong timing for us both, however we got on very well, the 3rd to old and age gap caused problems and the last one caught in bed with someone else. I much prefer to be single at present having been through so much heartache, I live my life looking after mother at the moment and one day hope to meet someone again but for the moment I am happy to have male friends and be an auntie.
8 Feb 07
i prefer being in a relationship...i cant remember a time when i wasnt with my current boyfriend william...we do everything together, we dont keep secrets and its great to have someone to be there to talk to through the tuff times
• Philippines
8 Feb 07
single vs. taken depends upon the situation or how do you define happiness. there are people who are happy being single for the rest of their lives because there are no contradictions to their decisions. being single is being carefree. you can do what you want and enjoy the time on your own. no hassle. but i myself have enjoyed most having someone in my life. i feel so lucky to find a good friend and a lover at the same time. when he came into my life, my world is complete. someone who inspires me most. someone who is my companion for the rest of my life. someone who i can lean on when troubles are heavy. someone who listens to your jokes eventhough its nonsense. there is someone who will really accepts you of who you are without flaws. i find contentment and happiness having him around. it always have a good feeling loving someone and will love you in return.
• United States
8 Feb 07
I think each person has to decide for them self what is best for them. I would rather not be in a relationship if the only reason I was in it was because I was afraid of being alone. That is a wrong reason for choosing to be in a relationship. I believe the loneliness will still be there. It is better to be alone than to be with someone for the wrong reasons.
• Philippines
8 Feb 07
yes. me too. actually i'm single for 3 years now and i feel mre comfortable as such because a lot of my friends feels anxiety because of their relationship. so, now, i think i will only let my self be envolved when i really love the guy and when i'm ready.