A 9 year old threaten my son with a knife.

Australia
February 7, 2007 5:34pm CST
I was pregnant with my fourth child and my husband parents decided to take my other three kids camping for a few days with their cousin. I was a bit wary as I don't usually let me kids go anywhere without me for more than one night. I rang them every night to make sure they were ok. It sounded like they were having a good time. On the fourth night we went to where they were camping to pick them up. I thought it was a bit strange because they had a pastor there with them all the time. As we were driving home, we were about half way back and our son pipes up and says that his cousin threaten him with a knife. My husband and I were both shocked with this and we asked what happened. My son said they all went into the caravan without nana and pop, he said his cousin went to get a can of coke, my son told him he couldn't have the coke because it was nana's. Then his cousin grabs the knife and threatens to use it on my son. When nana and pop got back to the caravan and saw what was happening, they locked my son in the caravan and the cousin was outside. While the cousin was outside he found a steel pipe and was waiting for my son to come out to hit him with it. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. My husband wanted to turn the car around and go back there, but I told him not to because it will get out of hand. I was really upset that my husbands parents didn't say anything. When we go home we rang my husbands parents, they were saying it was no big deal and it isn't the cousins fault, he has had a hard life. I was so angry about this because this child needs serious help. He is only 9 years old and he is already doing things like that. The way I see it, they are not really helping this child by acting as though it wasn't that bad. As you can imagine, we have never let our kids near this child again and my husbands parents don't understand why. I also will never let them take my kids camping again as I feel I can't trust them either. We also rang the police and they said because our son wasn't cut, there is nothing they could do about it. Even the police said it is silly that it would have to get to that point before they could do something. What would you have done in this situation? Have you had an experience similar to this?
8 people like this
19 responses
@LindaLou (483)
• Canada
7 Feb 07
Good for you for taking steps to protect your son from this child. Your parents should have done more to ensure his safety. It may well be that he's had a hard life, but he still has to learn that he can't solve his problems with violence. Clearly this cousin needs help and sweeping the incident under the rug does nothing to ensure that this child becomes accountable for his actions. I say keep on doing what you are doing and never let your children near this cousin again, nor alone with your parents for any length of time if they won't ensure their safety.
• Australia
7 Feb 07
Yes, my kids will never be allowed near their cousin and they don't want to go near him. I want even let my husbands parents look after my children because to me they have proven that they can't do that. One thing I forgot to mention is the cousin is their favourite grandchild. Thanks!
1 person likes this
@serenae (161)
• United States
8 Feb 07
I can't believe that the cousin is the favorite. Why? He sounds so dangerous. That is just crazy. Yes keep your kids far far away
2 people like this
• Australia
8 Feb 07
I don't understand why he is the favourite, he swears at them and is quite often voilent towards them. My kids would never do anything like that. They even say when they see my kids that they are so well behaved, but they hardly see my kids. With the nephew they see him all the time and will take him anywhere. Thanks!
1 person likes this
@Ravenladyj (22937)
• United States
8 Feb 07
OMG! I would have LOST MY DAMN MIND! and there would be serious hell to pay! Having a "hard life" isnt an excuse to run around like a bloody maniac and taking it lightly is ONLY provoking that child to do more crap since there is never any punishment and nobody is correcting his behaviour...whats worse is even though he's had a hard life..seems to me like NOBODY IS ADDRESSING IT! which again is goin to provoke him ("nobody cares so why the hell should I")....I would definately call the grandparents and let them know how you and your husband feel and I would also contact the caregiver of this child and let them know whats going on...thats not only b.s but dangerous and a very bad scene just waiting to happen not to mention the life this child will live if nobody steps up for him! OMG I would have reacted like your husband and wanted to go back just to flip out on everyone...thats so crazy and such a scary thought too ya know......Big question though, how is your son?? I imagine it shook him up pretty good eh..thats pretty messed up to have to deal with psychologically..I mean not only was he threatened but it was by his own cousin AND his grandparents DIDNT DO ANYTHING!
2 people like this
• Australia
8 Feb 07
Part of me wanted me to let my husband go back after we found out, but I was worried he would end up getting arrested. We have tried everything to get this child help, when we spoke to the police we asked if they were able to force this child to go and see someone to help him, but there was nothing they could do. We have talked to social services and they don't seem to be doing anything. The grandparents won't do anything. It makes you wonder who these people are thinking about, it doesn't seem to be the child. My son was 6 at the time and I was very surprised that it didn't seem to upset him. That is what I first thought because when he would talk about it, he acted like it didn't bother him. Then he started to play up over the next couple of days and we put two and two together and had another chat with about what happened and he was back to his usual self. Every now and then he still talks about it. I don't think he really realised how serious it could have been until quite some time after the event. Plus the granparents said to him that he wouldn't have really done it. What gets me is, this is the first time the grandparents had spent a night with the kids. They hardly spent any time with our kids. I was really wary about them going camping because I don't usually let them go without me for more than a night and the grandparents had never looked after them before. Then all this happens. My kids also know not to expect too much from the grandparents because they promise them things and then it doesn't end up happening. Thanks!
1 person likes this
@mssnow (9495)
• United States
7 Feb 07
Threatening a child with a knife is not good for anyone. You have done the right thing. The grandparents have lost your trust and I dont blame you for not letting your children go camping with them anymore. The boy who threatened your son should be in counseling to deal with that anger he has. I would have done the same thing you did. Thanks for sharing :)
2 people like this
• Australia
8 Feb 07
Yes they have definetely lost my trust. I agree that my nephew does need counselling, it scares me that a 9 year old can get to that point, what will he be like when he is a teenager? Thanks!
1 person likes this
• Philippines
8 Feb 07
that was awful. Have you really talked to your parents-in-law? If you did and they still shrugged it off like it's never happened, maybe you should seek some professional help for this 9-year-old child. Some friendly advice and more responsibilities will straighten him up. Proper guidance of strangers will bridle his temper and knack for violence.
1 person likes this
• Australia
8 Feb 07
Thanks!
@lisado (1230)
• United States
8 Feb 07
The father (your FIL) being a pastor isn't always a good thing. Growing up, sometimes the worst behaved kids belonged to the pastor. They believed that love would fix everything, so they were seldom, if ever, punished. Sad, but it happens. It's a shame that you can't get the police or SS to look into this matter. By the time they decide to get involved it could be to late. It might seriously hurt someone!
1 person likes this
• Australia
8 Feb 07
I understand what your saying but it is so frustrating. He might be a pastor, but when my husband was young he used to punish him hard. So why is it different with this child? Also I don't understand how he can't see that he is doing him more harm by not doing anything. I wish social services would step in before it's too late, I hope they do, I just wonder what is going to happen to him if they don't. Thanks!
• United States
9 Feb 07
This is a sad thing for ANY child. How sad! They shouldnt act like its NO big deal. 9 yrs old or not a knife is still a dangerous weapon and to threaten a cousin like that. Over what? A can of soda? Wow. Yeah take action, protect your kids, dont listen to those who say its odd. Its not its your right as a parent to protect your little ones!
• Australia
9 Feb 07
I agree, it was a knife this time, what will it be the next time? Or will he actually go through with his threat the next time. All we wanted the police to do was give him a little scare. I don't have anything to do with him now, but I still don't want him to end up in prison later on in life. This child needs help. My kids also come first too and I cant just sit back and do nothing. We have talked to the grandparents to try and get him help numerous times and maybe one day they will. Thanks!
• Philippines
9 Feb 07
what you did was right, take away your children from their cousin, as a parent, we are protective of our kids, that's natural because we care and love them. i think the police need to see somebody got cut before they do something about it? oh my god, at least they have to warn the kid not to do it again. they have to do some actoin about it before it is too late... and your in-laws too.they have to be fair.. goodluck, and happy parenting..
1 person likes this
• Australia
9 Feb 07
I agree with you, maybe a talk from the police would help him straighten up. It wouldn't have hurt them to go and see him, maybe they would find out why he is like he is. I don't understand why they would wait until its too late. I hope that one day someone will be able to help this child. Thanks!
@MuggsyD (28)
• Canada
8 Feb 07
where do you live ? if someone utters a threat around here and the police are called then they aren't going to say they can't do anything , if your son felt threatened in any way the police should be there to do there job instead of eat donuts ... next time get some coffee and donuts and advise them before you tell them anything of the address and that you have this for them if they come and do there job , then maybe they will listen or call whoever is in your area (gov offical ) and advise them of what is happening and that the police aren't doing the job they are there to do .. your child shouldn't have to be hurt or in worst case scenario killed for them to do anything .
1 person likes this
• Australia
9 Feb 07
Even the police officer that we spoke to said it is a silly rule. We live in Australia. I am not sure if it was because it was a nine year old or not, but why wait until they have seriously hurt or killed you before doing something. I do like the idea about the coffe and donuts. Maybe it will work. If they had just sat down with child and had a serious word with him, it might just make him think and surely they can force people into getting the help that they need. Thanks!
@Marie2473 (8521)
• Sweden
8 Feb 07
I become so sad reading this. This child obviously needs help and are screaming for attention. I am not sure calling the police on him is the right thing to do though, even though i think that might be my first instincs as well. a 9 year old does not do this without a reason and my question is - did anyone listen to him - did anyone find out what is causing this behaviour? There might be something terrible wrong or there might be medical explanations. I think u are doing the right thing not letting your kids spend time with him - but at the same time i worry about this 9 year old who probably feels even worse now!
1 person likes this
• Australia
9 Feb 07
I understand what your saying about the police. The only reason we did that was we were hoping that it might scare him a bit if they came to talk to him, we thought if it scared him enough it might make him think before doing something like that again. We also were hoping the police would be able to get this child help that he needed. We were hoping they would force the mother and grandparents to take this child to get him help. I wonder what this child has seen at home to make him even think of threatening someone with a knife at his age. I don't know if he would have felt worse after because he usually doesn't care with how he treats others. Thanks!
@lisado (1230)
• United States
8 Feb 07
I think that our situations would be similar, but I doubt that I'd have been able to stop my husband from turning around and blasting everyone within earshot. I would be ticked, and there would be no way I'd trust my inlaws alone with my kids again if they didn't think it was a big deal. Like you said, even if the child did have a rough life that is no excuse! It's going to get worse instead of better if he is allowed to get away with that stuff!! Does he have any siblings? If he is like this with your son when he gets upset, I can only imagine what he would do with family members. :( Good luck! I hope someone is able to make your inlaws see that this boy needs help, not coddling when doing something like this. He, and his parents, can get in deep trouble if that happens in school. They don't mess around with that kind of thing anymore.
1 person likes this
• Australia
9 Feb 07
It definetely is no excuse to behave that way. I don't let the grandparents look after my children, they have proven that they can't be trusted. He does have a younger brother, but I don't know what he is like with him. I can't imagine him being too nice though. I have also heard through a non family member that the mother is pregnant again. The family won't tell us because they know how we feel about it. I do feel sorry for the siblings and I am hoping that they won't turn out the same as this one. I have never met the younger one as we have not had anything to do with the mother for a long time. Thanks!
@shawn2008 (296)
• United States
8 Feb 07
wow that kid needs some serious theropy 0.o my brothers pulled a knife on me before but hees to scared to do anything more but threaten. and he doesnt know what else to do lol. yea but thats totally messed up. that kid needs some major theropy.
• Australia
9 Feb 07
That must have been really hard on you when your brother did that, your brother shouldn't even threaten it. I hope your brother can get some help. Just like my nephew, I hope he can get some help too. Thanks!
@jahvo6 (624)
• Peru
8 Feb 07
I would never ever again let this kid we near my son even if he was related to him, this are the next criminals, I am sure they are allowed to do anything with their lives and to behave the way they like without any restriction, bad parents thay have.
1 person likes this
@maveso (46)
• Malaysia
8 Feb 07
Its really so dangerous of what the cousin had done. If I were you, I will talk to his parents abt this finding out the reasons for his act. He needs help seriously. At such young age he has learned how to threaten people with knife its not a joke and i wonder what else he does and who else he has been threatening in such way. I hope soon you will be able to resolve this as this may help the cousin. Take care.
• Australia
9 Feb 07
It is dangerous and I don't know if he has ever done anything like it to anyone else. I hope not. The mother wouldn't even care if we said anything about it, she would probably just laugh about it. The grandparents were the ones responsible for him at the time and they should have done something about it. Thanks!
• Philippines
8 Feb 07
well that child must have experienced a lot of violence in life to be able to do things like that. and maybe the grandparents were spoiling him too much. it is right that you keep your children away from this child,rather than risking their well being. this child has to go on counseling,find out the reason of this absurd behavior of his. and let him realize that what he was doing was wrong. you could also let the grandparents realize that there is something wrong with how they are bringing up the child.well i hope you could figure out ways on how to deal with this problem.
1 person likes this
• Australia
9 Feb 07
I know the child has seen a fair bit of voilence and I probably don't even know the half of it. That is why we haven't sat back quietly. The grandparents do spoil him, he is their favourite grandchild, I don't think parents or grandparents should have a favourite anyway. Thanks!
@destroyer (785)
• Pakistan
8 Feb 07
You did the right thing by not allowing you son to see that troubled kid anymore, i also think it was very irresponsible of your husbands parents to take this matter so lightly. This kid has some serious behavioral issues and he needs some professional help immediatly at this early stage when he is most impressionable. If allowed to go unchecked he could one day seriously injure, maim or even kill someone! If i were in your shoes i would have done the same thing!
1 person likes this
• Australia
8 Feb 07
I don't understand how they think it is no big deal either. To me, that was a huge deal and something seriously needs to be done before he does seriously hurt someone. I swear that we have tried to tell them until we are blue in the face. Thanks!
@lingli_78 (12846)
• Australia
8 Feb 07
Oh my Godness... i can't believe it when i read your story... i will be very very mad with my husband's parents and the cousin if i am in your situation... it is outrageous that your husband's parents just let it go like that... as if nothing happened... the cousin needs serious help from professional before it is too late... and yes... never ever let your children be near with this cousin again and don't let your husband's parents take care of your children anymore... you are doing the right thing to protect your children... all the best for your pregnancy...
1 person likes this
• Australia
8 Feb 07
We don't let the grandparents look after our children anymore, they have really lost our trust. They should have made sure our children were safe. I understand that they didn't know this was going to happen but to act like it was no big deal, that is wrong. That just makes me so angry. My kids will not be around this cousin again and they don't want to either. I won't even let them talk on the phone. I am not pregnant anymore, as this was a while ago now and have had my son since this had happened, but thankyou for your best wishes anyway. Thanks!
@yinyang (244)
• India
8 Feb 07
this si useall man... u are kucky since it was a knife
1 person likes this
• India
8 Feb 07
i think the world is changing.in our town a boy of age 7yrs was buying a big knife
1 person likes this
• Australia
8 Feb 07
That is so scary, letting a 7 year old to buy a big knife is just asking for trouble. Your right the world is changing. I think some children get away with too much sometimes and parents aren't able to do much about it. Thanks!
@arvee17 (730)
• Philippines
8 Feb 07
i never had an experience such as this. but if i were in your shoes, i would confront that little devil and scare him out of his wits... what he did was wrong and boys like him will never change unless the people around him would give him discpline and love... as for my child, like you, i would never allow him to go near that boy again...
1 person likes this
• Australia
8 Feb 07
That is very tempting, but I won't go anywhere near him as I am worried the mother would accuse me or my husband of doing something that we havent done. I don't know if scaring the child will do much for him anymore, not with the lifestyle he is living. I just wish the grandparents would do the right thing and say something like we have done, then maybe someone will take it seriously and get this child help. Thanks!
@minerc (1373)
• United States
8 Feb 07
I would of definately called the kid on it and not put the other child in the van. The cousin might of had a bad life but they have people that can help him and if he don't get the help he needs soon it will be to late for this kid. It is sad that they did nothing this child will use the excuse in the future that he had a terrible life. My sisters son threatened my Dad when he was 8 told him he was going to kill him, my dad was bed ridden due to a stroke, my mom took on her son to help her out. My mom got on the phone and told my sister to come and get him and take him to the doctor that he was not allowed back into her house as long as he had these behavior's. He is going to the doctor regularry now. They found out he was abused, it has helped alot and he doesnt react this way anymore. These kids can't help there past but an adult has to stand up and do something to help this child with the agression's that he is potraying. Good Luck, You did the right thing. The child needs help.