MY PARENTS ARE DRIFTIN APART.... after 27 years of their marriage...

India
February 8, 2007 10:15am CST
yes.. its true i m 18 year old and my parents after their successful 27 year of marriage they are driftin apart..they are on the verge of divorce.. they jus wanna go away from each other.. i m totally deprressed by their daily fights.. i dont know wot happened to them they used to love each other like anything.. please help me out.. i love my parents and they are now fightin with whom i will stay.. please.. i wanna stay with both of them.. wot i do please help me out... please please please...
5 people like this
42 responses
@Celanith (2334)
• United States
8 Feb 07
both my parents and my husband's parents got divorced after 30 years of marriage, it was upsetting and shocking to all the kids both times. What happens though is when parents do that, they were living through and for their kids, not having a real life of their own outside the kids lives and having interests and hobbies and people they could turn to when the empty nest comes along and kids start leaving home. T They learn they have drifted apart and they no longer have any interests and things they share togather. This is sad and scary. My mom told me she and my dad should have started going places and doing things togather when us kids got into our teens. She said it was ok they each had seperate interests but they ended up having none they shared and enjoyed togather and so they drifted apart. Both felt lonely and alone and both started looking for someone or something else to fill the lonliness. Some paretns stay togather for the kids then split up. It is not right but it happens. Your parents need counseling and help that way.
@Terri_R (302)
• United States
14 Feb 07
You are so right. Many parents try to stay together for their children. What the parents do not realize is that they may be providing a false sense of security to the kids. Kids are not blind to any fighting and arguing that they overhear, but they never expect divorce. This is one of the main reasons children feel so devestated when seperation and/or divorce comes.
@howard96h (11659)
• New York, New York
8 Feb 07
This is very hard to go through. Just support each one of your parents and be there for them. I know you would love to see them remain together but if they are really unhappy then maybe the best thing is for them to seperate for now. Tell them that you will spend time with the both of them. I wish you and your parents the best. One more thing, there is an old saying, "You don't know what you have until you loose it" maybe when they are apart they will realize how much they still love each other and get back together. Stay strong!
2 people like this
• India
8 Feb 07
thanks alot man.. i m real need of help jus now..
3 people like this
@manong05 (5029)
• Philippines
8 Feb 07
That's sad. What a waste if they divorce after 27 years of being together. I hope something is done that would prevent it from happening. Divorce is not the only solution. Maybe it will be a good idea if you talk this out with them and let them know how you feel. It might help them to come to their senses. 27 years is a long time, I'm sure they have already proven to themselves that they do love each other.
2 people like this
• India
8 Feb 07
thanks for helpin..
2 people like this
• United States
8 Feb 07
I have had a similar experience. My parents relationship ended after 30 years. I was not living at home at the time, so it wasn't a matter of where I lived. You can stay with them both. You can live part of the year with your mother and part of the year with your father. They are still both your parents and they both still love you. I know their fighting is taking a toll on you, but if they do wind up splitting up, they will both be happier people. Stay strong!
2 people like this
• India
8 Feb 07
i can understand ur state very well.. thanks for helpin me out..
2 people like this
@moomincat (321)
8 Feb 07
It doesnt matter how many years a couple have been married. You have to keep working on, and adjusting your relationship. Even for my parents when they had been married fifty years they had difficulties facing retirement and the changes it bought. Encourage them to spend time to talk things through. Give each other a bit more time and attention. Do something different together. Maybe a holiday or weekend away. If thats not possible prehaps even a meal. Support them dont judge them. Try not to take sides.
2 people like this
• United States
8 Feb 07
I was on the other side of the fence....I got a divorce after 28 years of marriage. My girls at the time were 21 and 13. I don't think either of them will be the same it has effected them tremendously. Talk to you parents about going to counseling do it indiviually and as a couple and also as a family. Talk talk talk....it helps
• India
8 Feb 07
life has not been the same for me since the day my parents got separated. How i wish I was big enough to take proactive action at that time to save the relationship of my parents. i would suggest you to take the help of the friends of your parents, and your other relatives to stop them from parting their ways. try taking them for counselling..try to make them remember the old days when there was no room for fightings and confabulations. show them old photos of togetherness. do whatever you can think of but try saving this relationship until nothing works out.
2 people like this
@warn810 (494)
• United States
8 Feb 07
Well, if it'll make them happy let them go their separate ways. Don't feel bad about it.
2 people like this
@sidddd (861)
• India
8 Feb 07
Well i am really sorry for you and the situation you and your parents are in,anyway you must love them love,say your dad not to leave you and do the same to the mom and tell both of them that if you verge them i am going to stay alone,just try to make them united through you.That's the only way you could do anything.I pray that you must leave with your family in a great way,let they be united.
• Philippines
8 Feb 07
that is very sad, after all that years they spend to each other, it only turns red to blue. try to talk to them again and again, theres no harm in trying and trying.
2 people like this
@ronita34 (3923)
• Canada
8 Feb 07
This is a hard and hurtful situation especially after 20 years of marriage. I think that the best thing for you to do is to sit down and have a talk with the both of them. Tell them to quit fighting and that their fighting is only hurting you more. Also that they are only making things harder on you as you ove them both and do not want to see them fight over you and that you should not have to choose. The choice in the end though is up to you and you only but maybe this discussion that you have with them will be helpful in helping you decide!! Good luck honey and God Bless!
• Philippines
8 Feb 07
That is a very sad thing to happened, but life is like that Tell your parents that you want them both. So I guess you have to transfer home from time to time. Sorry to hear that. :(
• Nigeria
12 Feb 07
my dear i am very sorry to hear this.i will advice you to site you mom and dad down individually and try to talk sence into them why they should not seperate.give them reasons i mean very good reasons . i put you i my prayers and hope God work out some thing for you.
1 person likes this
@TiareF (241)
• United States
9 Feb 07
My parents got divorced when I was 32 so I wasn't living at home at the time. I do know what you are going through though. My parents never fought in front of us, were always taking vacations to Las Vegas or cruises to Alaska or Europe so it was a total shock. They had been high school sweet hearts, then dad went off to Viet Nam and my mother married & divorced my biological father then when daddy got back from Nam he went straight to mom and asked her to marry him and adopted my brother and me. They always seemed like the perfect couple, but I do know that couples grow apart and sometimes just stay together for the sake of the children. The only thing that you can do is be supportive of them and stay where you feel the most comfortable. I wish you all the best and hope that you find peace with their decission and that they both find their own happiness.
• India
9 Feb 07
I am sorry to here but dear I will talk to both of them and settle matter within your family members
1 person likes this
@moranoe (16)
• South Africa
9 Feb 07
My parents divorced when I was 12 years old and I just had no idea what to do. Stay strong, you will be alright in time. Remember though that your parents are not related and you are the common factor between them, Try to unite them. Wish you all the best.
1 person likes this
@ILANEDRI (1922)
• Israel
9 Feb 07
My parents are seperated for almost 6 years. Right now, i'm 18 years old like you. My parents never had a big fight, and I never saw it coming, but I understand and respect their decision. Life goes on. You will eventually get use it, even if it will hurts at the begining. You must understand that you can't do nothing about it. Just take your parents to a talk, and ask them why they want to divorce, and they will explain you in the best way their reasons. No one just divorce without something that bugs him. Think on bright side: You are going to have two houses. This is fun, I know it from personal exprience.
1 person likes this
• United States
9 Feb 07
It's natural for people to want to be independent, not only from each other, but from a variety of things they might be tied to as they mature. When you're young, you're tied to school and your parents and siblings. Sooner or later you want to break off from that. When you're a teen, you're tied to each other, your peers. Sooner or later that gets tiresome. When you turn 20, you start looking at a long-term relationship as you might want to have children. That can also get old after even a short time. In your 30s-40s, you're often tied to your mate, and this simply isn't healthy from a pragmatic sense. So, it's natural to drift, live separately, try and do different things before your life ebbs away.
1 person likes this
• Romania
9 Feb 07
I understand your situation. Be patient and courageous in life. Those are the things that help you to succeed. The factors that they are divorcing should be solved as soon as possible. Think smartly and wisely.
1 person likes this
@terrly396 (126)
• China
9 Feb 07
I'm very sorry to hear your story.But it is very common to divorce nowaday.Maybe you could talk with your parents to find the reason.
1 person likes this