Do you think we push our kids too hard?

@CatEyes (2449)
United States
February 8, 2007 10:32pm CST
Do you think we push our kids to hard? I mean with them being at school full time it is like a full time job for them, then they come home and have extracurricular activities IE sports, music what not, and then they have more school in homework. When do they just get to be kids, and go out and PLAY. I know structure is good, but I can tell you, I much prefer being a adult than a child, because I never had any breaks; it was always work work work, and getting yelled at for this and that. What do you think?
9 people like this
38 responses
• United States
9 Feb 07
I think that now a days parents start so teaching and pushing their kids way to young. Whatever happen to childhood. I took my 20 month old daughter to daycare while I was in the hospital for about 2 weeks and they were trying to teach her sign language and spanish. Hello, she's not even 2. It is nice to have her educated but it makes me wonder how much they pushed it. When she finally gets to school I am scared that things will be so different and they will be teaching politics in the third grade or something. Things have definitly changed.
3 people like this
• United States
9 Feb 07
That's the best time to do such things. The child's brain is malleable, and more accepting of knowledge. Consider it a favour, as bi-lingual people will have an easier time adapting in a world full of diversity.
@cjsmom (1423)
• United States
9 Feb 07
With my son, CJ being 8 with Autism, he tries so hard at school to learn and then they send homework home. I help him everyday after he gets off the bus. He knows that he can play when he's finished and he's real good about it. I can tell he's tired and I hate to have to push him; they are giving kids way to much homework now-a-days. He knows though, that on Fridays when he gets off the bus, whether he has homework to do over the weekend or not, he gets the day off..! He gets so excited when he takes his hat and coat off; he runs to his room singing, "No homework today." I have him in Special Olympics but that's only a few times a year. I don't think he could handle any extra-curricular right now, as it is.
• United States
9 Feb 07
I absolutely agree wth you and i was talking about this just yesterday with my girlfriend on the phone..I understand that education is important..and having outside acticites.,.,but your right..they should be able to just play and be a child for as long as they can..because after 18 its alll downhill from there...work work work..and its rediculoud the amount of homework they expect from them!! so there are at school for 8 hrs..go to practice..come home to 2 or morew hrs of homework...eat..maybe have an hour to themselves..and off to bed..its relentless..it wasnt like that when we were young..and we turned out just fine..and there was alot less chaoss..I really feel for my 4 yrs old when he gets older..its just wrong..they should be able to have fun..and be a kid..
@sylvrrain (662)
• United States
9 Feb 07
Each child is different, so the parents would be the first to know if it is too much. If grades start dropping or the child seem to lose interest in a favorite thing, it may be too much for them. I let my kids play, but I also encouraged them to follow their interest. I let them make their own decisions and let them stop when they wanted to. I respected the decisions my children made, because they always gave me really good reasons for them. I would always talk to my children about the activities and the sports. When my daughter turned 16 and got her drivers license, she insisted on getting a job. She worked the job until the beginning of her senior year, when she came to me and asked if it was ok to quit her job. She let me know that with the programs she was involved in and the additional homework it was just too much. I told her to let her boss know what the situation is and give a two week notice. She made a good decision and for that I was proud of her.
@lilaclady (28270)
• Australia
9 Feb 07
maybe I believe there is too much study, I would prefer to see most things talked about but not have to be studied or I should say the things they tend to teach, I think students should be able to choose subjects yo be told about and subject that interest them enough to study and I think there should be more subject to do with life, things that would help students in the future, but the main thing I think their should be that choice of learning (being told about something) or to study which would be tested on...everyone is different and have differents interests.
• United States
9 Feb 07
No not at all. MY boys go to school 7.30am and come home by 3pm then have 1 hour to do homework then eat and 5 week days their do somethings Like on Monday go to boys scouts from 7pm to 9pm on tuesday goes for their art class wednesday goes extract studying and so on and still gets a+ in school.
@CatEyes (2449)
• United States
9 Feb 07
Wow, they are lucky then, because all of the people I know personally have the opposite problem. Perhaps it is the school they go to. I am glad they have time, they are lucky
@namura (24)
• Indonesia
9 Feb 07
I agree with your opinion, some time I fell my kid have no time for me, he always busy with his activities. Do you have suggestions about that?
2 people like this
@CatEyes (2449)
• United States
9 Feb 07
I would talk to the teachers or the the council and see if you can get the homework dropped back, they can do that. Also the sports is ok, but sometimes it's just too much for them We have to remember that in this day and time they are not going to school, they are going to a job. So sad. I have had countless people tell me I was horrible because I wanted to homeschool child for his preshchool years. They told me he would be sooo behind. Yea right. He would not be a child, he would be a machine. I did not want to do that to him soo soon in life, and I wanted a transistion. If I have any problems with this one, I will be taking action.
1 person likes this
@freak369 (4783)
• United States
9 Feb 07
Kids need to be kids, they need time to just run around and act like ... kids. Scheduled play dates are a complete joke. If you have to carry a day planner with you to keep track of where your kid has to be and sporting events / practice games etc then guess what, your kid has too much on their plate. And don't get me started on all the meds they put their kids on - they seem them out running around at the park and think that because they are acting like a madman or lunatic that they need medication. It's called energy and it's great when they are allowed to just goof off and act like a kid. I honestly think most parents forget what it was like to be young. To just sit there and look up at the clouds or daydream. If you love your kids, leave them the hell alone and let them be a kid! That doesn't mean letting them stay out late or not educate them on vallues and morals but don't smother them with ten activities or sports leagues.
2 people like this
@brokentia (10396)
• United States
9 Feb 07
My son in middle school was in football during the fall and I was getting really upset because I thought they pushed 8th grade students too far! He went to school all day with only enough time to come home and grab a sandwich and change for his game. If it was an away game, they would not get back until 10pm and he would still have to come home to eat, shower, and do homework! My gosh! He was so exhausted. And if they didn't have a game...they had practice everyday after school. But the time he got home, he would be starving and exhausted to the point of falling asleep on his math book! But I told him that if he wanted to do football, that he had to be sure to keep up with his homework, not let his grades slip, and not quit! I wouldn't let him quit because he needed to follow through so he knew what it was like. He was proud of himself in the end. But he was just way too exhausted. That when he came to me asking if he could do wrestling...in which they practice every day and have meets during the week as well as on the weekends...it was a big fat NO!!!! It was too much! He needs more sleep than that. And he has plenty of time in his life to play sports...right now, he needs to concentrate on an education. Maybe when he gets older, he can play...but for right now, he body is too tired. So yes, I think that some kids are pushed too hard!
2 people like this
@robertx (150)
• Romania
9 Feb 07
Yes, this seems to be the case all around the world, really. And there is not much one can do about it. I mean "the other kids are doing it, therefore mine must too" they say. And who can argue with that. But i know better. I agree a kid needs to learn a lot of stuff, as its age allows it. But kids also need to have their way and fun, wich many forget due to lots of extracurricular activities and turns them sooner or later into grumpy and stressed up children...
2 people like this
• United States
10 Feb 07
It is possible that some parents push too hard. but i don't think that is the case with all. Most are generally pretty good. Kids in general need a little nudge now and again to keep them moving at a steady pace. but I feel that the parents that push there kids too hard do more harm then good.
1 person likes this
• United States
10 Feb 07
You know, a part of me says YES... we push them too fast, too much, too soon. But then you look at the statistics and how far behind our youth are compared to other countries and go "Um, what the heck?" So I honestly don't know how I feel about it. LOL Is that indecisive enough for you? But honestly... it's so contradictory because they do so much more so much sooner and are pushed from even pre-school yet they're not even close to as intellectual as other nations, quite often!
@cher913 (25895)
• Canada
10 Feb 07
Yes, I think we do not allow them to be children anymore. Between the ballet, swimming lessons, piano lessons, hockey practice and soccer practice. They don't have anytime to just hang. We have our children in as little as possible. They go to a club once a week at our church and they each take one lesson per week (guitar and singing) and that is it. Besides the extreme amount of homework they get, they don't have time just to be kids anymore it would seem. It is our duty as parents to make sure they do still have a childhood.
1 person likes this
@merkava (1226)
• Philippines
9 Feb 07
I think some parents do because they see their future in their children. 1) Some parents had great disappointments in their youth and they're taking it out on their kids. 2) Other parents didn't accomplish the dreams they wanted so they hope their children can continue pursuing their dreams for them and somehow succeed. 3) Parents lead successful lives and they expect their children to do the same. Either way both reasons are just plain selfishness in the parents part. Just let kids be kids. My parents gave me positive reinforcement and that was more than enough for me. Let kids be kids, you'll only be a kid once might as well enjoy it.
1 person likes this
• India
9 Feb 07
yes we push our kids.they shud do what they want.for kids playing and hobby is must.
@chazdubs (249)
• United States
9 Feb 07
I agree kids are pushed too hard. I am sick and tired of being yelled at for being lazy blah blah blah. I am 19, am taking 19 credit hours at school, work the front desk at a hotel full time, and own and operate my own online business. My parents still have the nerve to tell me that I am a lazy bum everyday. Why do parents expect their kids to be better than them?
• United States
9 Feb 07
no,if child isn't pushed to accel at school how with they accel in life.I know it's rough being a kid there trying to find themself and to say out of trouble but i just hope they do better than i did becaused i was nevered pushed.I played football but my parents never seen one game but I'm there for my daughter I even use her name here she's my world
1 person likes this
@skydancer (1716)
• United States
9 Feb 07
I never had it too bad. In fact, there were many occasions I can recall that I don't believe I was pushed hard enough (if you can imagine!). I did have 100 lbs of school books though throughout high school that I had to carry around all day, which was not cool, but the workload itself wasn't so overwhelming most of the time. However, I have talked to and read about other people who experienced just the opposite - a highly overtaxed lifestyle with four to five hours of homework a night plus extracurricular activities and so on and hardly got a minute to themselves. I think that is when it would probably get to be too much. Various studies have shown that the mind functions better when not so overtaxed.
1 person likes this
• India
9 Feb 07
I completely agree with you. Today kids are loosing there carefree life and their innocence. I had just passed my college and used to go to school not too ago. We also had competetion in school but, not like today's time. When I see my younger cousins now a days, I sometimes think that was it only 7 years ago I was a school going kid. We were never pressurised to study too hard. We used to go to school, come back, go out and play, study for 2 hours and then see tv. Now a days kids dont have time to even talk to their parents. If we want an healthy soceity then we have to bring about a change in our educational system.
1 person likes this
• United States
9 Feb 07
Kids need to be kids, but in many cases its not that we are pushing them too hard, we're just pushing them to do the wrong things. Every boy doesn't need to be an athlete, and every girl doesn't need to be a cheerleader. Most of the pressure on kids are from the raging soccer moms and football dads.
1 person likes this