yesterday my boyfriends said to me...its over..what should i do...

@Angelinka (1411)
Italy
February 9, 2007 10:12am CST
well,3 years we live togther..hes got very strong character and personality....yesterday we went out...i was sad,i didnt wanted to go out...he was angree with me and said that i am sad all the time everyday...maybe its true..because i miss my home and my country...he said that he is tried of me and that he doesnt want to talk to me anymore...that i made him to fall in depression..i never wanted it...i was trying to explain it to him,but he doesnt want to listen...he doesnt want to talk to me anymore and said to me to pack my thing and go away..i love him and i know that he loves me too...what should i do..i am totally alone in strange country,wihout nobody...can somebody please tell me what to do..i repeat he doesnt want to talk to me anymore,doenst want to listen to me..and when he says no,that means no...is it any way?i am going to die...he is away now and he said that he is going to date to other girls...after 3 years...i am totally desperated...i did so much for him...
14 people like this
83 responses
• United States
9 Feb 07
You need to grow up and get over him. Im sorry to sound so blunt, but it sounds as if you depended on him too much. You need to realize if this man can just up and leave you as he did then he's not worth having. You need to get your booty up & out & meet new friends & learn to love yourself. Learn to deal with & cope with your depression so that you can fully give yourself to any mate you may have. If you arent truly happy with yourself then you wont ever be with another person. You need to feel ok living on your own & without a man. It is perfectly ok to be without a man...trust me Ive done it you can do it too :) if you feel like its too much maybe you should think about going back to your home country! Im sorry he broke your heart & hurt you as he did. But he's not worth it if he's that much of a creep. Learn to get over him...I know its not easy but its the best thing you can do. You dont want a man around who doesnt respect you or want you in return! GOod luck. best wishes for you.. :)
2 people like this
@Angelinka (1411)
• Italy
9 Feb 07
you are absolutelly right...i left alll my life,all my wishes for him...he doesnt want me to have friends,to go out...he was my life...for 3 years...i am even ready to leave him,but i need to talk to him,i cant go with angryness,and he is in bad life situation now...i really would like to help him...i dont eat anymore...dont sleep...i dont need a man to be happy,but i really gave to much for this person just to leave him in one second...thanx dear,you are very nice...
1 person likes this
• United States
9 Feb 07
Its good that you want to be there for him & help him especially after all of this. Just dont be too upset if he doesnt want you there. Tell him you are willing to be there for him & let him come to you. Dont try to mother him as they will only push him away more. Good luck.
1 person likes this
@Angelinka (1411)
• Italy
9 Feb 07
i already told this many times...he just doesnt listen to me...
• United States
9 Feb 07
You're not going to die without him. You need to pack up your things and move out. You can't make him want to be with you, the best thing you can do is move on. If you miss your home and your country then go back! It'll be hard, but you can do it.
1 person likes this
@Angelinka (1411)
• Italy
9 Feb 07
i am totally alone in the world..i have no job,no housde,no car,no money,no education and no family...i left everything for him...so it is not so easy to leave...
1 person likes this
• United States
10 Feb 07
I love you as a human being. But everything that has been mentioned to you you return with the answer you can't and mention the things that are keeping you from moving on. It will be very hard but there are things you can do. I don't know what they are but ask for help. I know you are alone there but there is help out there. The first step is asking. The second step is using all in your will power to stay away from negative thoughts. It will not be easy since your train of thoughts are already moving down that track but remember every thing happens for a reason and keep looking down that track. There are places where the train changes track and it looks like your life is at that track change. I hope you take this time to do things for yourself and accomplish goals that you have put on the back burner for him. Good Luck. I hope things work out for you.
@Angelinka (1411)
• Italy
10 Feb 07
today i said to him...i dont want anything from you,we could leave...but please help me...you know what he answered to me?f..k u,i dont want to hear anything from and about you,go away...is it normal,after all the thing i have done for him...he is not a guy,he is mature men,why he acts in this way...like a devil...
@rainbow (6763)
9 Feb 07
I really feel for you, it must be awful feeling you have no-one. First you need to talk to him, he may feel happier today. Tell him how you feel, he may have just said it in an angry moment. Is there anywhere you can go locally to meet people, an art group, gym. book group, horse riding where you could meet some new people? Even if he just takes you out with some of his friends so you can get to know their girlfriends, if you feel down a lot of the time maybe you need to see the Dr, or is it just because you are lonely? I'm going to send you a friend request so you can talk to me when you want. I can't make it better but I can listen and help you sift through this if that is what you'd like. Try to be brave, seeing how upset you are might make him feel guilty and he may push you further away, I promise if I am not on-line I will answer any message as soon as I am. Wipe the tears away now, get a warm drink and try to calm down a little bit.
1 person likes this
@Angelinka (1411)
• Italy
9 Feb 07
thank you very much dear...but the thing is..that said dont touch me anymore and dont talk ,just take your bags and leave..and when he says it,he does..he is much older then me..i really dont know what to do...its crazy...
@rainbow (6763)
9 Feb 07
I'd leave him, he doesn't deserve you!
• Australia
10 Feb 07
if you really love him you should set him free. if your not what he wants you need to let him find what he wants.
1 person likes this
• United States
10 Feb 07
I agree with you. Sometimes it is hard to let go but what is the alternative. Have someone who resents you. It is hard to let go but he doesn't want to be there and so you too need to move on.
@SageMother (2277)
• United States
9 Feb 07
I think that you might be better off without him in the long run. I can't tell by your post what he did to try to help you feel better, so I have to assume that he was the center of the relationship. That fact might have actually made your depression worse or CREATED the depression as you were already homesick. This is your chance to focus on yourself. You have given 3 years of your life to someone who doesn't appreciate you. What are the things you wanted to do for yourself before you got into the relationship with him? What are your interests that he couldn't or wouldn't tolerate? I bet that if you sat down with paper and pen, you could create a very long list of items that you have neglected just to keep him content.
@TerryZ (22146)
• United States
9 Feb 07
I would try to find another place to live first of all he might already have a girlfriend so get away from him immediatly because if you dont you will be so hurt if you find this out. Believe its happened to me. You can always talk to him but justs leave him alone for awhile. take this advice please
@Angelinka (1411)
• Italy
9 Feb 07
no he doesnt have any other girlfriend...because we allways were together,24 hours in a day..but i am sure now he is going to find another...i have no place to go,i have only him in this country...thanx anyway...
1 person likes this
@cheerldr (594)
• Philippines
10 Feb 07
Well, this is not entirely your fault. But I think you should be the first one to make the move to get him back. You see, whenever he sees you, you're always sad and that made him think that you are not happy with him. You can't blame him for feeling that way. If you really love him, go take him back. Let him feel that you really love him. Don't waste even a minute, move now before it's too late.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
10 Feb 07
you have to think girl, and look deep inside your heart what you really like. are you still happy? if you're still happy then go after him. if you have to court him, then go. but if you're not happy anymore, then maybe that's it. you're not meant to be. the basis of a strong relationship is not the length of it but the happiness that you experience within it.
1 person likes this
@Aussies2007 (5339)
• Australia
10 Feb 07
Well... you better stop looking sad to start with. Then you better apologise to him for your behaviour. Then you better start making some changes in your life. By the sound of it... this has been going on for a long time and you have not tried to mend your ways. It is also probable that your personalities are not compatible. People should not have to change in order to make their partner happy. So maybe... breaking up is the best thing. The bit I do not understand... What are you doing there if you miss your home and country? Why don't you go back home? Makes no sense to me. Last suggestion... If he does not want to talk to you... write him a beautiful letter to let him know how you feel. Just make sure that you do not show any anger towards him or say anything which could upset him further. Don't worry about him dating other girls. He only told you that to punish you. But if you want to keep him... you will have to eat some humble pie and make some changes. He is not going to hang around someone who depress him. Maybe now, you'll start realising that losing him is going to be a lot more sad for you that whatever you were sad about before. Look at it as a challenge... Your challenge is to get him back. And if you succeed... You will have something to smile about. But why am I telling you all this? You are a woman... My ex-girlfriend could make me really mad and I would not want to talk to her. But it would only take her half a hour to seduce me and make me forgive her. Use what God gave you.
1 person likes this
@bykenshin (266)
• Brazil
9 Feb 07
First of all, do not be so dramatic, guys hate it. Second, get your hair black, it'll be much better. Third, say to he that he was nothing to you and meet someone who deserve you. Fourth, stop crying like a baby.
@Angelinka (1411)
• Italy
9 Feb 07
wow!honest at least!yes we all girls are dramatic..i cry,because he really treated me bad..if he said to me everything in honest and normal way,that was ok for me..and now he made real big scene,just from nothing... about black hair..i just cant..with my light blue eyes and very very very with skin with black hair i look like a zombie,believe me,i already tried it,i was born blon and i am going to stay blond..anyway what the hair matters in all this?
• Brazil
9 Feb 07
I was just wonderingo how beatiful you would becom with black hair, personally i preffer black hair :P Well... if he said bad thinks to you, say some to him to, like small ****... Kidding, just ignore him, he probably do not deserve you ;) You seen to be a very nice girl/woman ;)
@crosa125 (1484)
11 Feb 07
well i would say go over it love and try build you life to make him notice what did he loss by ieaving you, you said you know he loves you, well if he loves you then he won't leave you so let's get this right he dosen't love you that much you think he dose,you are still young and pretty and guys are waiting for you,well u r very good lookin in your pic,so don't get desperate.
@Angelinka (1411)
• Italy
11 Feb 07
thank you and all other guys for your support..now,after i have read all your answer i feel calmer.You all re just great friends.I still dont know what to do,i have decided just to wait some more days and not to cry anymore.and later we will see.kisses for all of you!
• Nigeria
10 Feb 07
why did u first of all go to a country that u do not even know anyon. Thats your first mistake u should have maybe guessed that something like this can happen anytime and when do u go to if u do not have anymoney u have to start looking for jobs and all that. well u said that you guys arein love and valentines day is almost near.YOu just have to make-up with him tell him that you ar sorry about what happened the other day so u guys can get along with each other better..
@Angelinka (1411)
• Italy
10 Feb 07
i cam to to this country for love...is it mistake to go for love?
• India
10 Feb 07
Angelika, i'm very sorry to say this but from what u say its clearly seen that he has already decided to dump you...the reason he said for leaving u is jus one among the many...but i think anyone can judge the most obvious reason y he said so...its not coz of ur character but its dat he has found another gal for himself...if he wanted u to change he would have definitely asked u to do so rather than asking u to pack up...so i dont think u can patch up this anymore...better go ahead with ur life...nd d next time u get into a relationship do stop worrying abt missing ur home nd country nd start living in reality...all d best :) if ppl start dying for broken relationships then half the world wud be a graveyard...better change urself!!
@Angelinka (1411)
• Italy
10 Feb 07
me and CHip - me and chip
i dont think i should change me..i am the biggest heart person i have ever meet...i never made anything bad to anybody...if you wants to dum me its ok,but i want to understand why..thats it...and it would be so sorry for me to leave his house..because here is my puppu,everything..i am staying here on computer and crying all the time...
@nicky35 (751)
10 Feb 07
you are a beautiful girl,you look like jessica simpson.im sorry youve been so sad.why are you away from your home and country?i know alot of men who would jump at the chance of a date with you.i know it dosent help much but you just have to think that its his loss.hold your head up high and try to make the most of your life.
@Angelinka (1411)
• Italy
10 Feb 07
thanx dear i am that its him mloosing something..i am just 100 %sure that he will never find anybody who is so honest,loayl and loves him like me...thats why i am so sad...to see that he doesnt understand what he is doing....i know i easily could find other person who loves me,because i got big heart...more then big...but its the last thing i think about
• India
10 Feb 07
hi angelinka....i think u shud jus forget that guy i knw its tooooo hard for a girl to do that but if a guy doesnt care for ur feelings then i tdon think he deserves "u"...coz even after beeing in a relationship for 3 years,he dint understand ur feelings then i think thers no way to go n to carry on that relationship wen thr r no feelings left ..so i think u shud be strong n kick him before he kicks u
@Angelinka (1411)
• Italy
10 Feb 07
i van kick anybody and i wouldnt do it..i respect him...today i was crying again so much..i was trying to talk to him,to touch...and he even became agressive..he was shooting dont touch m,you make my life sad,you cry all the time,go away and so on...i just want to die now...
@inovator (603)
• Philippines
10 Feb 07
wow!!!what a kind of man is hat!!!you know my opinion bout him...he just take adventage on that situation,,,he will just use that to complete his plan...to sperate with you...maybe he was just waite for the time he get right time..and booom he got it...its his plan...its not youre fault...go back to youre home...then forget him!!!!take care.....
@Angelinka (1411)
• Italy
10 Feb 07
i dont think is his plan,because if he never wanted to be with me he just said it...he is very strong person,with big character so he doesnt have any porblem to say it to me..but the same day he was saying how much he loves me...i really dont know what happend...
@dravid (1050)
• India
10 Feb 07
just say him ...the asy words..just if you are good looking go to a club with the best clothes you have and you will find one for you very soon
@Angelinka (1411)
• Italy
10 Feb 07
no,i dont go to clubs..i am not looking for any guy..it would be stupid,i dont want to make fun of nybody..i am in love with him,i cant play with other guys...nd just one night stands doesnt interests me a lot...thanx anyway
@hogy86 (64)
• Indonesia
10 Feb 07
oh,i am so glad hear about that,but i think you aren't wrong in this case.i know that you are very love him,but i can feel too what your problem,because i know the pain if we longer not to go on our home.i think you must prefer to forget him. so if me in your condition i will to try to forget him,i know this is very difficult for you but at this time you must understand your position,he is not love you again,so you must accept the fact.don't too long fall in the sad condition,you must to think far of your future,because this life is beautiful,maybe in the next time you can find someone who is can understand you with all your condition and more love you.only this can i said for you and i am so sorry if i give comment not perfect.thanks for your attention.
@Angelinka (1411)
• Italy
10 Feb 07
huh...its very dificult accept the fact he doesnt love me...because one week ago ,what do i say..the smae day on our conflict he was saying that he loves and want to saty with me forever...so many plans we made..we had to go to Great Britain in the end of this month...
@Starline (681)
• United States
10 Feb 07
Hey Angelinka, I'm so sorry to hear this, break ups are the saddest things in the world. I don't want to say that it was wrong to leave your country and everything for him, I couldn't because I'm doing the same thing. You can never know what's going to happen, It could have ended up being the best thing you ever did. Since it didn't you have to go on, and as the other girls suggests it seems like you need some work on your self esteem. Move back home to Lituania and do things for yourself, get an education if you don't have one, get a better job, meet new friends. This is your chance to start over, more experienced since you have lived in another country, stronger since you have learned how dangerous it is to depend too much on someone else. Go learn how amazing you are.
@Angelinka (1411)
• Italy
10 Feb 07
thank you very for your advises,and how beautiful girl you ar...i think i realy must go home,because it was allways my dream to get an education and to be independent women...kisses
• India
10 Feb 07
As you say, you were together for 3 years and hes got very strong character and personality, then i think the doors are still open for discussions. bcz people with strong characters are never such merciless. but i would like to ask you, if he's right when he says you are sad all the time everyday. if that is so, then you'll have to accept that the fault was somewhere in your behaviour. if you love someone and also know that the person also loves you , then you must be happy when he/she is with you. if you have any problems those are making you sad ,then too, you can discuss with him. it will also give a sense of belongingness. it gives a sense that you trust him and discuss your problems with him. Angelinka you must understand his feelings . if i were in his shoes i would have thought the same way. but i would have asked you first, why you are not happy with me, before taking such a decision. anyway go to him, and tell him how much you love him. also tell him that you were sad bcz you miss your home, your country. make him feel that you love him very much. and yes in India there is a proverb " The greatest weapons a woman has, are her tears." i am a man and i know this is absolutely correct. hope you understand what i want to say... hey dont take it seriously . i am just kidding (that i must not, bcz you are sad). ok . if he agrees to give you another chance, then make sure ,you are not going to make this mistake again. allways be happy when he's around. if you have any probs then discuss with him. if you are missing your home then you may ask him for a journey to home. allways remember , sometimes may be we are sad but we have to pretend as we are happy, just to keep the other person happy. ok? so go and talk with him. I will pray for you. God bless you my sweet friend.
@Angelinka (1411)
• Italy
10 Feb 07
another very nice and warm answer..i am really thankfull to you.. yes he is right,but not totally..i was sad in my last days,but he new that i am missing my home..that i feel lonelly...he knew it..i was never crying,allways trying to be nice to him...but he said,its over i cant stand you anymore...why..i never made anything bad to him...