She wants another baby, he does not

Denmark
February 9, 2007 6:31pm CST
My friend wants another baby, but her husband thinks it is too early, and other things need to be settled first. She does not take any contraceptive at the moment, so it could happen any time. Do you think she has the right to do this behind his back?
3 people like this
6 responses
@biwasaki (1745)
• United States
10 Feb 07
No, I think the decision to have a baby should be a mutual one. Tricking him into having a baby is not going to help their relationship. They need to talk about this subject and come to an agreement on when the time would be right for them.
@judyt00 (3504)
• Canada
10 Feb 07
So, why is HE not using birth control then? Why is it up to her?
@biwasaki (1745)
• United States
10 Feb 07
Good point. If he doesn't want a baby, then HE should also be taking precautions to ensure that she doesn't get pregnant.
• Denmark
10 Feb 07
Yes, that is also my opinion, but my husband's friend is very difficult to have a discussion with. She has tried many times to argue with him, but he seems to refuse to get into it. I think it is a pity for them because somehow they will be drifting apart, my friend is getting sad because she would really love another child and her husbands answers are not reassuring her, now she is at a stage where she thinks she may not have any other child anymore, which is maybe why she started thinking about having one behind is back.
@XxAngelxX (2832)
• Canada
10 Feb 07
No I don't think she has the right to do this without his knowledge. It's unfair to him and definitely unfair to the baby should she happen to get pregnant. A baby is a huge responsibility and should be born into a family where both parents "want" the baby.
1 person likes this
@SageMother (2277)
• United States
10 Feb 07
It sounds like she is on the fast track to divorce. The last thing she should do is try to get pregnant out of some misguided notion that her husband will stick around after she betrays his trust that way. It sounds like he is looking at finances, which is a crucial issue, but he might already be thinking that life with her is too much to take. If she is willing to trick him into fatherhood again, then she must be pretty demanding in other ways. She needs to really stop and thinka bout everything that is going on in her marriage. Things might not be as rosy as she thinks.
• Denmark
10 Feb 07
I also think they are getting on the wrong road. She is thinking about that because she misses nursing, her baby is almost 2 years now, I remember she always told me that she wanted to have 2 kids, close to each other. May be she has the feeling that she is running out of time and under the pressure, having a baby in her husband's back is the only option? I am not sure what I should tell her anymore, of course whatever happens I will be there for her, but I feel it is also my role to guide her not to do a mistake she could regret her whole life.
@chiyosan (30204)
• Philippines
10 Feb 07
i think its okay to have another baby, though the husband might be thinking of their future.. but i guess its just going to happen. if God will give them another baby, then they are going to have it.
@docjudie (42)
• United States
10 Feb 07
Your friend is playing with fire..One child is work..two children require alot of work and cooperation between the parents..If this new baby arrives before the second parent is ready he could wind up resenting her...and the baby.. I haveseen people divorce up over this..Warn you friend she may be risking her marriage. I magine if she had tiwns ? could they even manage fincially?
@judyt00 (3504)
• Canada
10 Feb 07
Seems to me that if she wants another baby now and he doesn't want one quite yet, it should be him who is supplying the birth control. I can see her point, though in haveing babies close together, since she will be able to go back to work earlier, once they ae in school. yet I can also see his point thathe wants things more stable financially before they have another one.