9 funniest news paper classifieds

India
February 10, 2007 6:15am CST
1. Illiterate? Write today for free help. (man....if only I knew A B C....) 2. Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once; you'll never go anywhere again. (sure...thanx for the warning!) 3. 3-year old teacher needed for pre-school. Experience preferred. (in months or years?) 4. Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated. Come here first. (check it out) 5. Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children. (howwww sweeeet) 6. Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel. (wow! A free trip to heaven?) 7. Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it. (uh...huh!) 8. Wanted. Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink. (hey....who taught cows the bad habit??) 9. We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand. (nice work!)
5 responses
@ukchriss (2106)
14 Feb 07
A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa, taking her poodle along for company. One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a hungry-looking leopard heading rapidly in his direction. The poodle thinks, "Oh, oh!" Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap, the poodle exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was one delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here?" Hearing this, the leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. "Whew!", says the leopard, "That was close! That poodle nearly had me!" Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So off he goes, but the poodle sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard. The leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here, monkey, hop on my back so you can watch me chew that poodle to bits!" Now, the poodle sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thinks, "What am I going to do now?", but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet, and waits until they get just close enough to hear. "Where's that damn monkey?" the poodle says, "I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard!"
• India
15 Feb 07
yaa..correct.. i agree with u completely..thank you very much for this great responce.i have given u + for this great responce.all the best for ur earning on mylot..regards and take care. yaa..correct.. i agree with u completely..thank you very much for this great responce.i have given u + for this great responce. all the best for ur earning on mylot..regards and take care
• India
21 Feb 07
yaa..correct.. i agree with u completely..thank you very much for this great responce.i have given u + for this great responce.all the best for ur earning on mylot..regards and take care.
@ossie16d (11834)
• Australia
18 Feb 07
Oh these are funny and it is hard to work out which one I like best out of all of them. I think it would have to be # 8 about the cow with a few addictions but then # 1 is another beaut one. Certainly I will write for help with illiteracy, as soon as I learn how to write that is. Thanks for the laughs, which is something that we all need every day. :)
• India
21 Feb 07
yaa..correct.. i agree with u completely..thank you very much for this great responce.i have given u + for this great responce.all the best for ur earning on mylot..regards and take care.
@the_vicar (1479)
• United States
10 Feb 07
I enjoy jokes. These are very funny! I wish I could remember jokes but I can't. So, I don't have any jokes to tell, but I sure did enjoy the ones you posted. Imagine, these are for real!
• India
11 Feb 07
yaa..correct.. i agree with u completely..thank you very much for this great responce.i have given u + for this great responce.all the best for ur earning on mylot..regards and take care. yaa..correct.. i agree with u completely..thank you very much for this great responce.i have given u + for this great responce. all the best for ur earning on mylot..regards and take care.
@nana1944 (1367)
• United States
10 Feb 07
I liked this one very much. Mother: Why did you just swallow the money I gave you? Son: Well you did say it was my lunch money! What's a mushroom? The place they store the school food! Teacher: I said to draw a cow eating some grass but you've only drawn the cow? Pupil: Yes, the cow ate all the grass! My teacher reminds me of history She's always repeating herself! Teacher: Did your parents help you with these homework problems? Pupil: No I got them all wrong by myself!
• India
11 Feb 07
yaa..correct.. i agree with u completely..thank you very much for this great responce.i have given u + for this great responce.all the best for ur earning on mylot..regards and take care. yaa..correct.. i agree with u completely..thank you very much for this great responce.i have given u + for this great responce. all the best for ur earning on mylot..regards and take care.
@perugu (5281)
• India
10 Feb 07
hi,Really i enjoyed your 9 point scheme.Thanks for posting such a funny discussion and members also get relaxed from some serious discussions.have a nice day.
• India
11 Feb 07
yaa..correct.. i agree with u completely..thank you very much for this great responce.i have given u + for this great responce.all the best for ur earning on mylot..regards and take care. yaa..correct.. i agree with u completely..thank you very much for this great responce.i have given u + for this great responce. all the best for ur earning on mylot..regards and take care.