EX-BF wanted to have secret relationship...

@charms88 (7546)
Philippines
February 10, 2007 11:39am CST
To simply put, my ex-bf wanted us to have a secret relationship eventhough I'm married for 8 years already. I told him repeatedly to stop pestering me but still, he refused to give up. Our relationship went on for 2 years until I decided to work in a foreign country. Our relationship just drifted apart coz of lack of communication. In another word, there was no formal closure and I just move on with my life until I met my husband. My ex got the shock of his life when he discovered I'm married. After I gave birth to my 2nd child, he called me up and pleaded me to reconciled together. I refused and even changed my mobile and landline nos. A few weeks ago, he called me up again and again and insist on a secret relationship. I told my husband about it and advise me to simply hang up whenever he called. Anyone with the same situation as mine. Care to share...
4 people like this
11 responses
@wynna1 (1291)
10 Feb 07
I'm not into this kind of situation as with yours, its a strange situation that you're experiencing now. I think what you need to do is to get a caller id on your phone so that when he's calling, you'll recognize the number and you can avoid answering his call.
3 people like this
@charms88 (7546)
• Philippines
11 Feb 07
I did. I even had to changed all my contat nos. twice.
1 person likes this
• China
2 Mar 07
He is such a jerk... He must stop it! I dunno... but i think a man feels a lot more curious and challenged if he cant get the woman he wants. Im not married yet, and i dun have the exact same experience as yours. But, i do have a friend who had a crush on me for almost 2 years now. I really dun like him. He was too aggresive -following me everywhere i go, like a stalker-. I had refused him bout 4 or 5 times but he never never never gave up! He even got so upset when i was close to another man -hello... he is not even my bf-. Once, i had a serious conversation with him. I told him to give up coz no matter what, i would never want to be with him. He said, he didnt ask me to be his girlfriend. He just asked for my friendship. A a... lies... I had given him friendship before and he used it to get me! I wont repeat the same mistake. He may say all he wanted is a friendship, but actually he wanted me. He is crazyyyy.... Aih aih... crazy coz he cant get me..
2 people like this
@charms88 (7546)
• Philippines
2 Mar 07
Some men have this "ego trip" that they can't accept the meaning of letting go. Your friend certainly fall in this category. You might like to lessen your communication with him for a while until it get into his head about how you loathe him misinterpretating both your situation. Appreciate for sharing your experience.
1 person likes this
• United States
10 Feb 07
WHAT!? he sounds like he needs a good beating! seriously why is he TRYING to mess around with a married woman! oh my goodness! !
2 people like this
@charms88 (7546)
• Philippines
11 Feb 07
Well...he claims he is still in love with me. But finally, my husband has a good talk with him.
1 person likes this
• Canada
4 Mar 07
I have experienced this with my first childs dad he just doesn't know how to leave me alone and it is sickening I finally had to approach him with the law it got so bad..well it happens I guess men just don't realize the womens worth until it is to late till u are gone, happy and all they want to do is disturb ur happiness I don't know why they do this it just happens and it ain't something that is welcomed in life...Some I guess just realize they came to this age after they partyed and so forth and realize emptyness in some way or another anyway who knows it ain't a nice feeling though to be pested by an ex when u are married and happy with kids...Good Luck...
@charms88 (7546)
• Philippines
4 Mar 07
Yes, that is what happened to him. My EX used to be a carefree loving person and never thought of his future. By the time he hits 30, he began to think about what's really the impotant things he should do. But as you said, its too late. + rating.
@gabs8513 (48803)
• United Kingdom
4 Mar 07
No but do not know that you can report him for harassment to and if I where you I would do that if he does not stop. I just can't believe how persistent he is being but it does class as Harassment. Maybe it would help if you told him that you will report him to the Police if he does not stop.
1 person likes this
@charms88 (7546)
• Philippines
4 Mar 07
The law system in my country are different from yours. Such things didn't even constitute requiring police to help, unless a person is hitting you. Thanks.
@kerbausama (1338)
• Malaysia
13 Feb 07
well..keep your heart though..think wisely..all on your hand..lone is a hard choice.that your thought..thanks.. sorry for wrongly posted just now.... . .
1 person likes this
@charms88 (7546)
• Philippines
23 Feb 07
You're welcome!!!
1 person likes this
@nicolai (288)
• Philippines
12 Feb 07
I have not been married yet but I experience that I have a new boyfriend and my ex boyfriend want to reconcile with me. I keep on telling himn that I already love this guy and there is nothing that he can do to win me back...even if he gives all the effort he can.
@charms88 (7546)
• Philippines
12 Feb 07
I really can't understand why some guys just can't accept the word "NO."
1 person likes this
@kerbausama (1338)
• Malaysia
13 Feb 07
thank you for responding..i appreciate that.. .
1 person likes this
• United States
2 Mar 07
The ex needs to go take a flying leap off of his idea! He says he still loves you, well to bad, so sad! You are married and he needs to back off.
@charms88 (7546)
• Philippines
2 Mar 07
Thats just the problem. He didn't know how to back off. The good news is that he has somehow stop pestering me for 2 weeks now. Thanks for your opinion.
1 person likes this
@huilee (1010)
• Singapore
11 Jul 07
Wow... Is it because ur ex really loves u so much? Or is he unwilling to give up because he hates to lose? As in, u are already married and hes not? Im not married... But i do have a similar experience... As in... My ex bf noes that im attached, yet he pester me likes hell and wouldnt let go of the current situation... He himself is attached... But he always suggest me n him going on secretly... This is so unbearable... we broke up because i couldnt stand him flirting with others like he is doing it to me now... the thought of it makes me feel gross... but yah.. jus ignore ur ex and make him understand he need to get his own life...
@sanell (2114)
• United States
3 Mar 07
Sounds like he is stalking or will be or is going to stalk you and I would contact the police and perhaps get a restraining order put together in case he starts to try to approach you in person or threatens the lives of you or your spouse or your children even. He needs some serious help if he is trying to get you to leave your husband or not even leave your husband and want to have a secret relationship with you. That is just scary girl, try to keep yourself safe if you can!