takin care of ur grandparent

United States
February 11, 2007 2:06pm CST
i have a 87 year old grandmother we take care of at home shes on oxygen and gets nerveous alot doesnt want us to go anywhere or leave her with anyone else just to run to the store life has come to a stop for now dont know if we should think about nursin home or what i love my grandmother very much just dont know what to do at this point .
1 person likes this
3 responses
@Grandmaof2 (7603)
• Canada
11 Feb 07
I too am a care giver. My husbands brother came to live with us 6 years ago. There is no doubt about it you need time for you. It is manitory according to the nervious system, take a break. Find homecare, restbite, babysitter or whatever is available in your area. Go for lunch, a movie, get your hair done, visit someone, go for coffee, go to the gym or do whatever it is to make you relax and do this at least once a week for a couple hours at least. It works for me. No doubt you're a very good person, but grandma will soon adapt and she needs a break from you too. Good Luck. Grandmaof2
• United States
11 Feb 07
Grandmaof2 i could not have said it better myself . it is very important for us to get a break from our loved one and it's just as nice for them to have a break from us. sometimes i hopp in my car and just go for a drive alone. it clears my mind and relaxes me as well.
• United States
11 Feb 07
see perhaps if they have in your area an adult day care, or sitter than come and watch her while you run errands. I know how you feel, as I took my grandma in when she was in need of care, until I couldnt any longer. I found a great personal care home, where still had some privacy and independence, but they cooked meals,reminded her of meds that needed to be taken, assisted with bathing. It was better than a nursing home and had a low patient/nurse ratio. Most personal care homes only have 7-10 ladies. My ma loved it and roomed with two other ladies and it did her good. She didnt worry about having to do laundry, or drive anymore,as she was too old and she had friends. I could visit anytime I wanted and It felt like a family atmosphere, as its a home that is just a personal care home, so it doesnt resemble a nursing home. It was the best decision I ever made. Also welcome to mylot, and if I can help you in anyway or give more grandma advice, know I am here for you!
@arlena040 (252)
• United States
11 Feb 07
well i would love to give you some helpful advice but i need to know more about how you are taking care of your grandmother . i mean who else is there to help you with her care ? and what country are you from i am asking this because here in the states we have programs that allow caregivers a break with a family member they have in there homes careing for them . if you live in the states contact your county health department ask for a list of agency's who offer services for care givers. i do understand your perdictiment i to am a caregiver and i know all to well how stressful it can sometimes be. but for a moment stop and put yourself in grandmothers place and think she is no doubt worried scared you might leave her alone and of coarse this makes her nervious and scared reassure her that you must be gone for a few hours or ever how long but you will be back . my sister gets really upset with me if i am away all day like 6 to 8 hours a day .and i understand her feelings .but when i return i just give her a hug tell her i am home and i missed her. and she is fine with that . your grandmother will adjust just like you will . it takes some time and i know its hard and it's stressful . just hang in there for a little more time and see what happens .goodluck