Journey Against Alcolism : The Binge Vs Self & Spirit

Thailand
February 12, 2007 2:06am CST
So I have been feeling a bagful awful of late about my alcohol drinking habit. I have had this feeling for a long time now, in fact, I had my first alcoholic binge at age 17, and made an embarassingly unforgettable scene at a cousin's wedding. I should have stopped drinking then, bot 10-some years later, I am still in the grips of battle.The alcohol bug is so stuck in me head. It has an uncontrollable self-will. The toll has been heavy, especially for my spirit. Now, I feel this big hole, a results of years of self-bashing. So I am wondering, how can it be so hard to do what you know is right for your spirit. I feel like I am pre-programmed to self-destruct. How can the spirit and self be so far apart? Am I like two persons rolled into one? How can I desperately desire change yet never make heeadway? Why is it that I cannot learn from past suffering? In this season, I am determined to change - I am on the last frontier. If you were me, what would you do to make sure that this beginning will see the light of day?
2 responses
@teenal (970)
• Ireland
4 Jun 07
Just going through my old responses and noticed you. Hows your quest for self improvment going? Good I hope.
@teenal (970)
• Ireland
13 Feb 07
Im sorry to hear you are having such a struggle but glad to know that you realise you have a problem. If I was you I would seek help. There are lots of people with this problem so you are not alone. There are lots of non drinking alcholics. They all got help from some orginasition. Here in Ireland and in some places around the world they have a group called Alcholics anonymous who support people who want to kick the booze. You cant beat this on your own. Get help from people who understand and have been through this problem and have survived to become non drinkers. Good luck to you.