What age is right to have children?

Teddy - Teddybear
@Starline (681)
United States
February 13, 2007 3:09pm CST
I know that more and more women wait until they are done with university studies and have worked for a couple of years before they go on to have children with their husbands/boyfriends. I intend to do so to, to finish uni and find a job. Still, I know that once I am done with that probably something else is going to come up, for example to save up for a house or 'not a right time to take time off from work'. At what point in your life did you decide to have children? Or maybe you didn't wait until the perfect time, do you regret it? Or at what time do you plan to have children (let's pretend that everyone can decide exactly when:)
5 people like this
67 responses
@buenavida (8145)
• Sweden
14 Feb 07
I have no children of my own but one of my relatives got her first child at the age of 42. Of course the risks are bigger at that age but she has learnt to take care of her health with great food supplements so she will hopefully be young for a long time yet. If I would have been able to choose, and been healthy, I was mentally ready to have children at about 37 and some years ahead.
@kittyloki (140)
• United States
14 Feb 07
I was 18 when I got pregnant with my daughter and it was a planned pregnancy. I wanted to be a stay a home mom and didn't want to go to college. Hell, I didn't even finish high school. I dropped out when I was 17 to look for Mr. right and start my family. I'm very happy with the way it turned out.
1 person likes this
• United States
14 Feb 07
I think it is when you feel you are ready.
• Philippines
14 Feb 07
Sometimes it happens even when you're not ready. And when that time comes you just gotta keep an open mind because having a baby is perhaps the most wonderful thing any mom can ever go through. i just had my baby and i was scared out of my wits when i first learned about it. But now that i can hold her, sing to her and feed her... just seeing her sleeping just makes you happy.
@Starline (681)
• United States
14 Feb 07
I have heard that too, that you just getready when you understand that you are pregnant. That you kind of make room for it in your life, and a few months later you wonder how you could ever NOT feel ready for a child.
14 Feb 07
Whenever two people can care for a child then thats the right age. of course i would say above 16+ to plan a future together with children etc. I'm 19. married and a father =) I love coming home to my son and personally age is just a number. i'm ready now and i don't believe in the term "what age is right" as it depends. no one can single out a age which is because they can only voice there opinions. Kudos! ~Joey
@Starline (681)
• United States
14 Feb 07
Well, you are the first one to say 16+, a lot of people feel like kids them selves between 16-20. But I'm glad you have a good experience, maybe that just proves that age is just a number, it's about when you feel ready.
• United States
14 Feb 07
I don't think there is a right age for children. I'm 22 with no kids nor do I even think about having kids. I am too busy just being me. I work full time, travel, volunteer. I'm doing everything now that I wouldnt be able to do if I was weighed down by children. Don't get me wrong, I'd love to have children some day, either my own or via adoption but I saw "someday" because for now I just want to live MY own life before I even contemplate bringing someone else into it.
@Starline (681)
• United States
14 Feb 07
I think you just do what everyone does until the point where they feel like they want to do something different :)
@jeanvill (654)
• Philippines
14 Feb 07
for me my friend,if my time will back to my years of single.i will decide to have a children if i have already a stable job,income and life and have a secured future for my kids.coz for all you know i'm 30 years old now and i have 2 kids already honestly i'm happy to my children but i'm worrying for their future coz its so hard to raise children without stable job,income and life and most of all secure future to them..my husband and i struggling for their education right now coz we dont have both stable job.i feel so guilty and pity of what we have been given to my kids right now...all i want them is to have a better life way of living and secured future....
@Starline (681)
• United States
14 Feb 07
I can hear that you love your children very much, and that you think about them before everything. I am positive that things will get better for you. If you could chose between your children and having a great job wouldn't you chose your children? Not everyone can have everything, but I think things will turn and you will soon have more money. Don't worry!
• India
14 Feb 07
The best age to have children is as soon as possible because as a woman delivers a child she looks older than her age.IT doesnt mind for a woman of 18 to have child because an woman of 18 will look as if she is 20 or 21 but think if a woman of 30-40 years old delivers a child and then how she will look. Thats why my opinions is that a woman should have children as soon as possible.Isnt it??
@Starline (681)
• United States
14 Feb 07
I couldn't disagree with you more. Looks really doesn't matter when it comes to having children, what's important is how ready the parents are mentally to become parents, and how well they are going to handle parenthood.
• Nigeria
14 Feb 07
hey! what a nice discussion... but as for me i will like to give birth after i realise that some of my dreams as been achieved... so i think that is the right time.......
@Starline (681)
• United States
14 Feb 07
I think so too. Maybe it's hard to acheive all dreams, but at least to have an education, maybe a house and definitely a nice man:) Because who sais that you can't keep working after you have children, and get your dreamjob when the child is 5 or 15?
• India
14 Feb 07
When you are mature enough to have them..28 is the optimum age according to me, or else depends on individual perspective, their maturity level and mental balance
@Starline (681)
• United States
14 Feb 07
It's like you say, depends on the individual, not everyone is married at 28, but it's probably not good to wait for too much longer past that age if you still want to be fertile.
@osaneeh (88)
• Philippines
14 Feb 07
Well, I would want to have kids when I become mature enough with things. I really think that it doesn't matter what age you have kids, as long as you're not some teeny-bopper mommy who doesn't have a clue with raising the future generation. I'm just 19 years old and here in the Philippines, that's way young to have a child. It's still taboo. But whatever. I would raise kids when I have overcome too much college parties and too much shopping and stuff. I would want to be a good mother... No, a perfect one. LOL. :)
@Starline (681)
• United States
14 Feb 07
That's definitely a nice ambition to want to be a perfect mother :)
• United States
14 Feb 07
I had my son when i was 17 years old. and i have had many friends who have have children even younger than that. It just depends to when you think your ready. If you think you are responsibale. so its just up to you really!!!
@Starline (681)
• United States
14 Feb 07
I'm glad you felt ready when you were 17 years old, but a lot of 17teen year old kids still feel like kids :) I guess you had to mature really quickly once you found out that you were pregnant :)
@abby_abz (155)
• Philippines
14 Feb 07
It's really hard when you think of it. I got Pregnant when I was 21. I was still in University then. I graduated when I was 8 months Pregnant. Now I have work and support my baby. It's hard if you don't have your own house. It's just lucky that my mom allowed me to still stay at our house. I'm not married and my boyfriend is still in college so basically I do support our family. I think we'll start saving for our future when he graduates and eventually find a job. It's hard but we have to bear with it. We have to sacrifice. My point is it's ok to have a baby at an early age as long as you can support the basic needs of your baby. ^_^
@Starline (681)
• United States
14 Feb 07
THe advantage of being a young mom are many too if you think about it, you probably get to see grandchildren, and it's nice not to have a too big age gap between you and your children. Maybe it'll be easier for you to understand your kid once he or she is a teenager, than it would be if you had waited until your thirties to have children.
@Lyrica (127)
• Canada
14 Feb 07
I don't think there is one set time to have children. Some people are ready to become mothers when they're 19. Others aren't ready until they are older. For me, personally, I think I want to wait until after I finish university and have a steady job. I don't feel confident in raising a child when I'm still in school or still have school debts to pay off. I think around 26-30 would be a good age to have children.
@Starline (681)
• United States
14 Feb 07
I'm hoping to have paid of university dept, but hoping to have a mortgage by the time I have children:)
• United States
14 Feb 07
With my experience, I never got to pick. It happened. See, I was always told that I would never have kids. Me and my ex husband tried from the time we got married at 20 years old until we divorced and then me and my current husband tried for years. Finally, after giving up, I became pregnant at age 31. For me, I believe that becoming pregnant in my 30s was the best thing for me. I feel more in tune with myself...I know what I want and am more centered...I feel that I am a better mother than I would have beenin my 20s. This is just MY experience. Some women in their 20s are great parents. Let me tell you, though, there is never a PEFECT time to have kids. There will always be bills, always not enough time. When you feel you can give a child what they need and you and your husband can give them the attention and the love they deserve...that is when you are ready. :)
@Starline (681)
• United States
14 Feb 07
I'm so happy for you that everything worked out perfectly. I have heard that a lot of women have children when they give up on trying for one, I guess stressing over it makes it harder somehow.
1 person likes this
@mememama (3077)
• United States
13 Feb 07
This is a toughie:my aunt waited until she had the husband, the house, the career, by the time that all came around she did get pregnant at 35. She wanted to give her daughter a sibling, but by the time she was 40 she was infertile. She gave up. Plus her and her husband have a hard time chasing around a kid when they are older. I waited until I was 25, I was married for over a year and it was just something that progressed from our relationship, we felt it was time. We were able to be a couple on our own for a few years so we had that foundation. I also have energy to chase a crazy toddler because I still am young. I did get the husband, but didn't get the career and house like my aunt, so we have to struggle more financially-but I don't regret a thing. I will eventually own a home and maybe someday I'll go back to work-I've always got that;) So I think it depends on what you want out of life before you have children.
@Starline (681)
• United States
14 Feb 07
I think it's like you say, you can't expect to get it all, you can try to but so many people try to have the perfect house, career and everything and just end up being too old to be able to conceive.
13 Feb 07
i had some bad news the other day on of my friends she is 15 years old and in a relationship and is pregnant her family has forced her to get a abortion. no 15 year old shud have to go through that
@Starline (681)
• United States
14 Feb 07
I'm so sorry to hear that, I hope she is well now.
• Canada
13 Feb 07
When you get with someone that you love and care for then there is no right time to have children . It is something you do because this is what you want . If you wait for the right time you may end up not having any at all because there may never be a right time to say , yes now we can afford it or yes now we got what we set up to get in life . Something will always come up and delay when would be the right time . I believe that if you are in love then the right time is anytime you start wondering if this might be the right time for you .
@Starline (681)
• United States
13 Feb 07
Hm, I guess you can look at it that way too. I still think it's a good idea with two incomes in a family though :)
@hinocki (670)
• Italy
14 Feb 07
Every age is good. I think that you have before to create e good place your child can live in. When you have such money and a place to live, this is the moment to have children
• United States
14 Feb 07
I dont believe there is actually a right time to have kids. i just have a baby 7 months ago but i dont regret one bit, would i have like to wait so i can finish school and have a better job yes, but i believe as long as you know that having children is alot of work and you are mature enough to take care of a child then go right ahead.
@maddysmommy (16235)
• United States
14 Feb 07
I had my child when I was 32 years of age. I was ready then, married for about a year beforehand and very much in love. Both of us had jobs and had finished school and i think it was the right time for us to have our first child. Four years later, we are trying for another and if we are blessed then great. If not, then that is ok too. I don't think i would of been ready if i had my son mid-20's or thereabouts. I was too busy enjoying life and had so much going on, that there really wasn't time to even think about having children and besides, I hadn't met my husband yet LOL.