What do you say to someone that had a loved on die?

@juls2me2 (2151)
United States
October 13, 2006 1:18am CST
Do you say, "I'm sorry for your loss?" or is there something more comforting to say?
2 people like this
12 responses
@MySpot (2602)
• United States
16 Oct 06
"I'm sorry for your loss." is a good way of sympathizing with their feelings. If you are saddened by the loss also, it sometimes helps to express that you will also miss them.
@juls2me2 (2151)
• United States
16 Oct 06
That is extremely helpful to know....... I do understand the feeling of grief and missing a loved one. My mother is facing cancer. She was cancer free for over 1 year, but now it has decided to grow back in more areas. I go through spurts of grieving her as if she'll be gone soon and the deep heart pain of not ever being able to see her or hear her voice again. My parents are my best friends. Then I think back at when my husband's grandfather passed away.....and My husband was so heart broken for so long and there was nothing I could do or say....I don't want to be like that either. I'm coming to findout the everyone has to grieve their own way and they're the only ones that can do it. Thank you for sharing your thoughts....!
1 person likes this
• United States
19 Oct 06
I am truly sorry to hear the cancer is back. I would like to offer a suggestion to do while your mom is still here with you ~ put together a book/photo album of what your mom's life was about. She will be able to give you insight on what her life has meant to her and what things she would lilke to have in it. This will be of great comfort to you later on. I only wish I had time to have done this with my late husband, my dad, and my sister. All of their deaths were sudden and so unexpected. I would have loved to had a book like that for each of them. I am doing one now for my boys to have oncce I am gone.
2 people like this
@juls2me2 (2151)
• United States
24 Oct 06
You make a great point. My mom is big into geneology and has lots of photo albums for several family members already put together. I did mention to her I'd like to see hers and maybe we could write little notes by her photos so I can pass on memories and stories about the photos. Thanks for your input.
• Canada
17 Nov 06
I always have a lot of trouble trying to talk to someone who has just lost a loved one. I don't really find it all that appropriate to say I'm sorry about your loss, although that's what most of us say. I guess there's nothing that you can say to make things better besides letting the person know you are there for them if they need your shoulder to cry on...
1 person likes this
@juls2me2 (2151)
• United States
20 Nov 06
I too have a really hard time at knowing what to say to someone either. There really is no magical word or words that bring complete comfort and ease. I'm here if you need anything....might be a nice gesture.
• Philippines
17 Nov 06
my condolonces but let me advice that you face reality and move on.
1 person likes this
@juls2me2 (2151)
• United States
20 Nov 06
I think I'd stop at my condolences.....seems a little harch to tell someone to face reality and move on. Even though it is the next step......I guess most people just need to figure out how to get past the grief to be able to move on. Something I'm finding comforting...is a comment someone made to me. That the pain will get lesser and lesser with time and in time it'll be easier to talk about the memories with the person without bursting into tears.
@miyara (523)
• Philippines
17 Nov 06
just giving comfort will be the best thing to give.
1 person likes this
@pimponel (291)
• Romania
3 Feb 07
"i`m sorry for your loss, you can count on me for everything"
@sbeauty (5870)
• United States
19 Oct 06
Everyone has to go through the grieving process, and there's nothing anyone else can do to help them through it. Just let them know what you're always there for them if they need you and let them take it from there.
1 person likes this
@juls2me2 (2151)
• United States
20 Nov 06
I appreciate your response. You're right about having to go through the grieving process.
@happygal68 (3277)
• United States
19 Oct 06
Speaking from past experiences, I always felt comfort when someone told me "If you need anything done or just need to talk I am here for you". It was a nice jesture when someone said "You have my sympathy", but to know I had others there I could lean on sure helped me more. Hope this helps.
1 person likes this
@juls2me2 (2151)
• United States
20 Nov 06
Thank you for your response
@anup12 (4180)
• India
24 Oct 06
I am always there for you just call me
1 person likes this
@erielle (1281)
• United States
19 Oct 06
You dont say anything. I mean you cant say anything to make it any better. The best thing you can do is be there and give them a lot of love. Respect their wishes. If they wish for you to leave them alone, leave them alone. If they want to drench your shoulders with tears, let them. That is all you can do.
1 person likes this
@kelz784 (975)
• Australia
13 Oct 06
I dont really think there is anything you can say that will comfort them. As long as they know you are there for them that makes the world of difference.
@juls2me2 (2151)
• United States
13 Oct 06
Thanks....I figured that was the case. I could only imagine if I was the one with the loss.
@nicolai (288)
• Philippines
28 Jan 07
forget everything,,just be there for the grieving person,It will mean all the world to him,,,there's no bad person created in this world who don't have the heart...
@kelly60 (4548)
• United States
27 Jan 07
Just be there for them and offer your support. The one thing that really set me off was when someone came up to me and said, "I know how you feel" I about went through the roof. Nobody knows how you feel, even if they have gone through it, everyone has to grieve for themselves, and nobody knows just how you feel.
@linkpointe (1003)
• Philippines
23 Oct 06
That life doesn't just end there. That now she got a true angel around to lead her to the right direction. That she's lucky to have a mediator between God. That God has better purpose for her. That she should be thankful for her friend is at peace already.