Husband jealous of wife's best friend

United States
February 14, 2007 10:10am CST
My cousin is in turmoil right now because her marriage is about to break into pieces. Her husband has been having fits of jealousy regarding her guy best friend. He (the husband) threatens to leave her if she doesn't stop communicating with him (the best friend). I really feel sorry for her because they have a small kid and she didn't want her marriage to end. Besides, she loves her husband. I think it's not her fault either. What could be the best advice I could give her?
1 person likes this
3 responses
@emarie (5455)
• United States
14 Feb 07
well, he needs to understand that he shouldn't be that controlling. they probably need some counseling or something to work through his jelously problems he needs to know all the time that she loves him. he just may also be a little posesive as well, which does concern me because situations like that can lead to more violent tendancies. but they need help first.
1 person likes this
• United States
14 Feb 07
Actually, my sis advised counseling, but my cousin's husband is very stubborn. Since this is their first major fight (and the first time that he hurt her physically), I was hoping that they could try to work things out. I guess my cousin doesn't have a choice but to not communicate with her best friend anymore (which is unfair, I know, but then she has to save her marriage). I really don't understand some men. I'm also afraid that he might hurt her again. One of the reasons why I don't want to get married immediately.
@emarie (5455)
• United States
14 Feb 07
wait...he already hit her?? she should take this as a sign of upcoming voilance. not being able to talk with a friend is only the begining, it WILL get worse if she lets it or if he doesn't seek help right away. tell her to actually consider seperating if he doesn't agree to couseling, and this will be FOR the child as well. that should should never see their father hitting their mother, and the abuse might be directed towards the child as well.
1 person likes this
@rmuxagirl (7568)
• United States
14 Feb 07
I would never give up a best friend for my husband. My man understands I have guy friends just as I understand he has gal friends. If your cousin's husband hit her once already she needs to take it as a sign of future behavior and what she'd have to do is actually leace him. No one has any right to hit anyone else.
• United States
14 Feb 07
If this guy is hitting your cousin just because he doesn't like her having a guy friend, think what he would do if he thought she was sleeping with him. Not that she is or would, but if the husband is prone to jealousy already, he could easily convince himself that they are and really hurt your cousin. He needs counsling, NOW. If he refuses, or hits her again, or even threatens her, she needs to get out! Leaving is the only leverage she really has. You should set up ahead of time where she can go if things go bad. One of the main reasons victims stay is because they think they have no where to go. I'm not trying to turn this into Lifetime movie-of-the-week here, but this should be taken seriously; better safe than sorry. Good Luck.
1 person likes this
@MySpot (2602)
• United States
17 Mar 07
I can see why he'd feel jealous... I believe that a life partner (spouse) should be your best friend. If she's sharing parts of her life, her dreams and goals, or even intimate details of her marriage with this person, especially if she isn't sharing these things with her husband then she is, in essence, betraying the relationship with him. Emotional cheating is often much more hurtful than physical cheating. I'm not passing judgment. I don't know if her hubby isn't a great listener or understanding... I can't say whether or not she has tried to strengthen their relationship without success, but I find that when someone sees the grass greener on the other side of the fence.... usually it's because they are too busy peering into the neighbor's yard rather than taking the time to nurture their own lawn.