No Smoking Please!

@lvap0628 (731)
Philippines
February 14, 2007 6:03pm CST
How do you get somebody to quit smoking? I've been asking my husband to please stop smoking or at least minimize it, but to no avail. It started as an every after meal thing (to lose that filled-belly feeling, he said), but now he is up to 1-pack a day. I'm worried for his health because my father died of heart failure caused by emphysema (and so did his father). He keeps saying, "I can quit if I want to." But I don't think he wants to. Can anybody give me a suggestion please? Thank you in advance for your input.
14 people like this
51 responses
• India
15 Feb 07
well i have been smoking for 1.5 years... and i have quit it for 10 times... my longest non smoking period was 13 days... now i'm keeping it at a level of 2 cigg(s) per day... and decreasing it... i think u should show ur husband some of terrifying cancer pictures which might scare him to atleast reduce smoking...
4 people like this
@wahmbuddy (392)
• Canada
15 Feb 07
until he wants to, and is ready to you are wasting your time. I smoke. I want to quit, am I ready to? Guess not, because I'm still smoking. Tell you the truth - I don't want to quit. I mean I don't want to do the quitting part. Have you ever smoked? I've tried several times to quit. They say the withdrawl is worse than trying to quit a heroine addiction. I do want to be a nonsmoker. Maybe that's where your husband is at.
1 person likes this
@lvap0628 (731)
• Philippines
15 Feb 07
I myself have tried smoking when i was in my teens but i didn't like it much so i quit before i even started. Although he is aware of the health hazards that smoking presents, i guess he is not yet ready to quit. I'll just wait until the time that he does. in the meantime, we just let him smoke alone so that we don't get second-hand smoke.
• Australia
15 Feb 07
I know this may not be the greatest advice, but u should tell him to spot and threaten divorcing, it it doesn't work then make some sort of deal with him? hope this helps
• Canada
15 Feb 07
I never smoke inside my house either. I always go outside so that the smoke is not in my house for kids and animals. Some mornings it is pretty cold!
@weemam (13377)
14 Mar 07
I hope for both of your sakes that he can stop. my hubby tried hundreds of times and couldn't do it , it took his 2nd heart attack for him to stop he went onto have 4 then a triple heart bypass last August ,I think though it is something he has to do for himself , its not easy to give up xx
@lvap0628 (731)
• Philippines
14 Mar 07
Oh, I hope it doesn't come to that weemam. Actually my husband is now making efforts to minimize his smoking. He is down to 15 sticks a day (from a high of 25-30). It's not much but nevertheless a cause for celebration. We're taking it day to day, and I pray that he won't slide from his resolve. Thanks.
@Mollyjo (268)
• United States
5 Mar 07
I have tried to get my husband to quite for years now. I don't think he will want to unless he does get and seek help. Quiting smoking takes more then just I can if I want to. He may want to get some prescriptions from his doctor. I do have a freind that has quite smoking and he started chewing that nicotine gum, he stoped smoking but still chews the gum. Best advice is talk to your doctor or nurse and find out where support groups are, but you can't make him do it. He has to want to.
1 person likes this
@lvap0628 (731)
• Philippines
5 Mar 07
I know, Mollyjo. Funny thing is, we have 2 doctors in his family and he still doesn't listen to them. I guess i'll just have to wait until he really wants to quit smoking. Thanks.
@WebMann (4732)
• Canada
15 Feb 07
I quit smoking for 15 years and as dumb as it sounds I started up again and my wife just wished I would stop. Well a couple of years after I started again I had a heart attack that was inoperable and now I am extremely limited. I wish my wife had of left me until I quit, but she just put up with it wishing I would quit. Now she has to work twice as hard as she did before because I can't do anything. I can't even lift 10 pounds now. I was Feb. 13th (FRIDAY) 2004, so I just passed three years and there is no sign of getting better. On a good note. I did quit smoking. :)
@605602 (20)
• Pakistan
15 Feb 07
thats bad i m sorry to to read it but u should never lose hope and try to left it
@kathy77 (7488)
• Australia
15 Feb 07
To get someone to quit smoking is extremely hard especially if anyone is nagging him about this all the time. He probably does not want to quit which makes it very hard for you and I understand your health concerns, as I am a smoker and we will give any excuse to the person asking us to stop smoking but this is up to him when he is ready to stop, and if he wants to stop.
1 person likes this
@lvap0628 (731)
• Philippines
15 Feb 07
you're right kathy77, people will give any excuse as long as they can continue with what they are doing. i just hope it won't be too late when the time does come for him to quit.
@geejoy (344)
• Philippines
15 Feb 07
well, you can't stop someone if that someone doesn't want to.......sorry for that comment..i know you want to really stop this habit of your husband but then, im just telling the truth..no matter how hard you try to stop him..if he himself will not let go of the habit.....it will lead to nowhere...the least you can do is to remind him regularly of the effects of what he is doing to his body........
1 person likes this
@lvap0628 (731)
• Philippines
15 Feb 07
i know what you mean geejoy. but i have patience . . .
@RobinJ (2501)
• Canada
15 Feb 07
he has already told you that he is not going to quit smoking, so either you get used to it, or give him up, you can not make some one change, only they can choose to change, Do you want to loose out to a pack of smokes. THAT IS WHERE IT IS
1 person likes this
@lvap0628 (731)
• Philippines
15 Feb 07
We've been together for 16 yrs now, i certainly don't want to give him up. i guess i'll just be patient and wait for him to really want to quit.
@phon4u (2217)
• Laos
2 Mar 07
I don’t smoke. If he wants to quit smoking, he should use the other stuff such as eating bananas, candies, and chewing gum after the meal or any time he feels to smoke. If he gets nervous because he doesn’t smoke, he could breathe deeply.
1 person likes this
@fitzui83 (17)
• Philippines
15 Feb 07
Let him see a doctor and let your doctor tell him to stop smoking. And if it doesn't work....Ask him "LOVINGLY" to stop smoking. Take care
1 person likes this
@sharone74 (4839)
• United States
15 Feb 07
If he doesn't want to quit then you can't make him, and even though you lost family to this nasty habit it is still possibly not that high a priotrity in his mind. The deaths of your family members I mean. if he wanted to quit he would just like he started smoking. I smoke so I am on the other side of this issue at my house. It is obviously not a deal breaker so I suggest you just stop sweating it and worrying about it.
• India
15 Feb 07
Well I think both of you collectively can do that.Your husband if wants to quit from smoking he can but untill he does not will to do so you won't be able to make a solution of it.Else you will have to consult the doctor for this.There come so many medicines which can cure and quit smoking habit.Best fo luck for this.
1 person likes this
• Canada
15 Feb 07
Honestly, it's so hard to quit smoking. I quit just last September and I understand your concerns about your husband, especially with the health concerns of both sides of the family. Your husband will only be able to quit smoking when he really wants to. If he quits because other people want him to, chances are he'll relapse at some point. He has to really NEED to quit for him to be successful. My partner quit almost three years ago, I felt I wasn't ready at that point, and he told me at the time, you have to really want to quit in order for you to be successful. I scoffed at the idea at the time, but then, when I decided to quit last September, I realized he was right. If your husband is smoking more than he used to, then he's definitely addicted. It may be that he doesn't realize how hard it might be for him to quit. Maybe if you tried to point out some of the health related concerns, or showed him pictures of heart disease and other things, it might start him thinking about what he's doing to his body. I hope I've been of a little help to you.
@mnflower (1301)
• United States
15 Feb 07
Well as a smoker myself there is no way that you can make him quit, it is something that you are just gonna have to let him do on his own and the more you pressure him you will see an increase in his smoking, believe me I am speaking from experience, my husband wants me to quit too and now that I don't hear him always saying you should quit or at least cut back I find myself smoking less and giving the thought of quiting more serious...The constant taunting about it will only make it worse...Just let it go and in time he will decide what is right.
1 person likes this
• United States
15 Feb 07
Offer him a rewards program for not smoking. I used to be a smoker and I just quit cold turkey because I felt it was the right health decision. But most other people I know were offered some kind of reward by their jobs or parent. Just tell him the fear you have of losing him early, and all the health risks that are involved with it.
1 person likes this
@pilbara (1436)
• Australia
15 Feb 07
Unfortunately there is no way that you can get someone to quit smoking, they have to want to do it themselves. My Husband smokes which I don't like either. But he does it outside and he knows that as long as he smells of smoke I am not going to come to close to him as I have bad asthma and smoke is one of the triggers.
1 person likes this
@onesiobhan (1330)
• Canada
15 Feb 07
It's an addiction. The only way he is going to quit is if he really wants to, and it's a lot of hard work. Sounds to me like you are out of luck. If he doesnt' want to quit, he's not going to. All the say you get to have in the matter is whether or not you choose to stay with a smoker whose health may suffer as a result.
1 person likes this
• Indonesia
15 Feb 07
Ah, some people just say that, but in the end, the fact is they could not quit from smoking.:( Frankly, I do not know how to get somebody to quit from smoking. I see people who could quit. I think, that takes a lot of self control to quit. My uncle quit smoking, because of the fact the doctor said to him, that he won't last long if he keeps on smoking. Then he stopped, completely. My sister, still smoking and said, she could quit whenever she wants. But for a fact, I see, the longest she couldn't smoke was only a day. lol Sometimes, they say that the more we tell them not to smoke, the more they do it, to despise us. But, as for me, I never stop telling my love ones (family and friends I care) to stop smoking. For I hope, one of those days, that ears could listen and the words start to make sense for them.
• Singapore
15 Feb 07
I used to smoke one pack a day too and i find it so hard to quit smoking....i've tried countless times and i guess my willpower is not that strong enough. Now, whenever i buy a new pack, i will let my bf keep it, then give me 3 stick in the morning....hehe...and if i'm good...or when i'm in a very good mood/bad mood, i will ask for extra 'bonus'. I'm not exactly proud that i'm still smoking, but at least i cut down the intake :D
1 person likes this
@XxAngelxX (2832)
• Canada
15 Feb 07
There is nothing you can make him to do to want to quit. This is a decision he will have to come to on his own. However you can make a point to tell him the reasons behind you wanting him to quit, let him know you are concerned about his health. Also perhaps you could start a tradition such as going for a walk after supper and maybe this will help take his mind off of it.
1 person likes this