Have you ever had a huge fight with a good friend....

United States
February 15, 2007 9:00am CST
and did you stop speaking to each other for a while? How long did it last? And if so, how did you end up talking again?
4 people like this
8 responses
• United States
15 Feb 07
I use to get into arguments with friends or have difference of opinions with them but I was always the one to suck it up and apologize or get over it - even when it wasn't my fault or they should have been the ones to apologize. I was basically a doormat and felt like it. As I've grown older my ability to just forgive and forget isn't as quick to happen. I'm tired of being other people's doormat, I'm tired of being the one to apologize all the time, I'm tired of trying to be "the better person" and just having it happen over and over. I no longer put up with other people's disrespect towards me. I can handle differences and such but that doesn't mean you have to resort to being disrepectful or rude. Growing up I always had a large circle of friends - now, I do not. The last few friends that I've had 'fights' with are no longer my friends. It just wasn't worth it for me anymore. My niece was one of my very bestfriends but the last few years she's been going through some issues or something and taking it out on me in a very mean and hurtful manner. At first I took it, I'd get mad, attempt to apologize even when it was her fault - not talk to her for a few weeks and then we'd see each other and just pretend nothing had ever happened. But each time this happened she would get meaner and meaner and would throw such personal hurtful insults that it became really hard to like her anymore. We got into a huge fight last August right before her brother's wedding and we haven't spoken since. At this point, I do not plan to speak to her again unless I have to. We have managed to avoid seeing each other since last year and that's perfectly fine with me. I know that won't always be the case because we are very close to her brother (my nephew) but I'm happier now and I can't see having her as a part of my life again unless she gets help for her issues and learns to stop hurting the people she claims to love because she is hurting from someone else. I miss the old her, I miss my old bestfriend but I do not miss who she has become. I'm sad that she isn't a part of my life and vice versa but she was toxic for me and I had to start thinking about myself for once. I know this probably doesn't help you but thanks for the discussion. :)
2 people like this
@merkava (1225)
• Philippines
15 Feb 07
This happened early last year and we never talked with each other ever again. He was one of my closest buddies. I entrusted my life and valuables to him. But lately during early last year he was kinda aloff to me then it came to lying and to anger. I didn't know why till my aunt asked him what was up? He said to my aunt that he hear a rumor that I said that "HE, doesn't know how/when to return stuff he borrowed." Well, that was true but it didn't come from me but to my other buddies who personally know him. They were actually ashamed of my friends actions because ever since I got my 1st job I was very grateful to him and gave him all sorts of stuff from a simple gameboy color to a high end video graphics card. My friends were angry at hiim because some of the stuff I gave to him were just things I allowed him to borrow since I'm not using it and I'm constantly out of town. I only have 2 simple rules when it comes to my properties: 1)if you break or misplace it, you pay for it or replace it. 2)if I need it back, give to me in it's original condition. That pissed my friend off because when my aunt was asking for the expensive hi-fi audio system back which costs around $5.5k it was broken. She asked him if he broke it and all he could reply was that he's gonna fix it, he still didn't answer the question. When my friend felt like he was already in a tight spot he suddenly began a series of uncalled for personality bashings. He would hit all low blows just to make me look bad to my aunt and my buddies. But good thing my aunt and buddies know my history so it was nothing new to them but they already threw him off our circle of friendship because of tattle-telling. One thing in our guy group is that we never tattle tale on no one specially if it has nothing to do with the subject we are focusing on. We also don't like desperate friends who will resort to low blows just to get back on us. Truthfully, I still miss that friend of mine. We've been through so much together. He was my friend for more than 17 years. Sometimes when I look at our past photos I'd just cry. Darn, if he were just responsible for my stuff then none of this would happen. Worst, he was vulgar to my aunt and even involved the Lord our God in the conversation. Worst, he told my aunt to go to hell even though he has never met this aunt of mine.
@techsam (158)
• India
15 Feb 07
This incident happened way back, in the summer of the year 2000. There was this friend of mine, and we had collected quite a few documents related to our higher studies (we were still in school back then, bunch of 16 yr olds). What happened was this fellow, took them and refused to return them and had gone to the extent of saying that I never had any right ont hose documents. What ahd then shocked me, was the blatant he refused to part with soemthing which was rightfully mine (we had collected our individual share, and had shared them thereafter!!) What followed wasa bitter cold war, because his lack of integrity was shocking to me, and we started becoming vindictive, to an extent it became apparent to everyone around us. But then, the ice broke..... We started being on talking terms once more!! This was fall of 2000. I was scheduled for my first ever stage performance, and that point as is wont to happen, a few things started going wrong, basicaly it was the guitar!! But, we managed to dish a good performance, the guitar finally coming in for play after 2 songs were over.... This fella was supportive through out, and when it was over, and we were receiving a tremendous round of applause, we cheered...... He was also there..... and we realised, we had fought over our values but in the end, our friendship mattered more, and we came back together again!! And since have stood by each other through thick and thin!! Values and morals are good enough for as long as they help you in seeing whats right, and there are times when you need to forget them to hold on to relationships which matter!!
1 person likes this
• United States
15 Feb 07
Awesome! Glad your story had a happy ending!
@techsam (158)
• India
19 Feb 07
oh well!! forgot to add..... was instrumental in making sure his sweetheart didn't lose heart and chuck their relationship out of teh window, when he was away in Germany for teh past 1.5 years!! They are talking marriage now!! A few more years to go but still..... All stories are meant to have an ending, its upto you to make it happy or sad!!
@abby_abz (155)
• Philippines
16 Feb 07
I have a fight with my bestfriend in grade 5. I can't remember what we have argued about. We stopped talking to each other until I left for high school. .
1 person likes this
@shywolf (4520)
• United States
15 Feb 07
I haven't even had a major fight with a friend in years, mainly because I only tend to have one or two really close friends at any one given time, and also because I've become m more and more nervous about confrontations as I've gotten older. When I was a teen I did get into verbal fights with friends, but I'm the type who can't bear not to talk something out to the Nth degree when I'm upset, so I would try to talk it out (if the other person would) until things were better. That frustrated me about my best friend, as she was the type to storm off if she got really mad, which woudl leave me hanging and hurting and upset, but it wasn't her fault.. we were jsut opposites in that regard, she needed time to cool down and all I wanted to do was try to resolve it right then. *laugh* I honestly haven't had a real big blow up in a long time, though, because I really really try to avoid such things. I can't bear the thought of losing a friend that close to me, so I really try not to upset anyone, lol.
1 person likes this
@lisa101 (1363)
• United States
15 Feb 07
Oh yes me and my best friend has had an arguement before on the phone through text messages hahaha lol. We did not speak for 2 months. But we finally came back around when we met each other out we bursted out in tears and then started laughing about it all. We wont do it again i hope we learned our lesson.
1 person likes this
• United States
15 Feb 07
Well we are no longer friends now. But when we were he had gotton drunk and broke my window. I forgave him. another day he was taking me somewhere. I s=asked had he been drinking he said no. When we started going he drove like a maniac. I almost broke my leg pressing on invisible brakes. I begged him to let me out. I had no money in my pocket on the highway. He kept going got lost and all. Then he went to squeeze in the left lane. While an 18 wheeler was turning. This truck almost flattened me. He had to turn so wide to keep from hitting us. I later forgave him A few weeks later he comes to my house and steals my cell phone. Changed my voice mail to his and all. I bought a new phone. Which was stolen at the gym last night ugh.. But this time I can't forgive him I don't tolerate stealing at all.
1 person likes this
@AskAlly (3627)
• Canada
21 Feb 07
Thank goodness this as never happened to me and I consider my husband to be my best friend. I have a tiffs or differences of opinion with my friends, but there has always been love and respect and forgiveness.