How do Stay At Home moms stay sane?

@soccermom (3200)
United States
February 15, 2007 9:57am CST
Okay, my hubby and I had a long talk last week and agreed that I should quit my second job so I am home nights and weekends and can devote more time to the kids. So this is my first week of just working 24 hours, I do half days Mon-Thur. and a full day Friday. At first I was so excited, I can have dinner ready every night, houesework will be done, I can spend more time doing things for my family. Please don't get me wrong, I love my kids, but they are driving me INSANE!! I am literally counting the minutes until I can take them to my in laws and go to work. I'm sure this is an adjustment period for the kids and myself, since no one is used to having me here. Right now, all of my respect is going to the stay at home moms out there... I don't know how you do it!!
10 people like this
45 responses
@essilem (286)
• Philippines
16 Feb 07
Being a stay at home mama really entails a lot of patience, it is a job that simply does not end .... no lunchbreaks, no coffee breals and most of all no dismissal time. I have been a stay at home mama to three kids for 10 years now. Seems long when i type it out, but really the memories are so fresh that things have happened just a few months ago. The moment we got married i quit my job and decided to have a family. I guess the determination and the choice to be one is the driving force that keeps me sane. It's not the love for the children, because that is al ready a given fact, we love our kids wether we are working outside the home or not. It is really not a question of love, it is if this is something you love to do, and yes i do love to stay with my kids 24/7, attend to their little whims and be there for them. That gives me utmost happiness, and that keeps me sane, i guess i am the one driving my kids to insanity as we would engage in funny games. Goodluck and may the force be with you.
2 people like this
• United States
15 Feb 07
Unfortunately, the only way you can find out if you will be good at staying home with the kids is to have kids first, and then if you are ill suited to the task you can't exactly return them for a refund.
2 people like this
@kiogie9 (38)
• Philippines
15 Feb 07
Just enjoy the times with your kids remember you cannot bring back the time...when they grow up you can no longer play with them. Make the most out of it. I forget all my problems when I am playing with my kids as if because I will try to level with them and kids don't have problems...I used to work for seven years but now my husband asked me to stop...at first its really boring but now I'm enjoying being a mom.
2 people like this
15 Feb 07
I am a stay at home single mum so its even more tough for me as I don't usually have help with the kids once their dad comes home from work. He does usually come in a couple of evenings a week and has them for a day and night over the weekend. I think it is my night off that gets me through the week sometimes. I usually keep myself sane by chatting to friends on the internet and by taking the kids out and about to different groups etc. I found it really tough when I first gave up work after my first daughter, but it is something you do easily get used to.
2 people like this
• United States
16 Feb 07
I have been a SAHM since I was pregnant with my oldest--it has been 7 years now since I have worked. I still count the minutes until my husband gets home from work so he can deal with them and I can get out of the house or go take a nap or whatever. They drive me nuts every minute of every day, it seems. Probably because I am locked up with them 24/7 without any breaks. I get to go grocery shopping a couple times a month and to the laundromat 2 times a month and those are the only times I am not with them. And half the time they come with me when I grocery shopping. I say I get about 8 hours a month without them climbing all over me. My house is never ever clean and I rarely have dinner ready on time. It is impossible to get anything done with them around. I tried cleaning up my room yesterday (I rarely clean it because I am only in there about 5 hours a night when I am sleeping). I had to put the baby in her bassinet because she couldn't stay in the living room alone. She sat there staring at me and crying and trying to climb out (she is 10 months old and I was trying to make room for her pack n play so she can move to that). Every 2 seconds one of my other kids would come in and start getting into the stuff I was sorting, asking me a million stupid questions and trying to steal back toys I took away. It took me 4 hours to put clothes away, sort our 2 boxes and move a couple boxes to the other side of the room because I kept having to stop and make them leave the room again, or make the baby sit back down so she wouldn't get hurt. It is never ending--the same boring thing day in and day out. I almost never leave the house (even in the summer) and never do anything. The kids don't behave well enough to do fun stuff so we just sit there all day long.
1 person likes this
@soccermom (3200)
• United States
16 Feb 07
Oh I feel for you 4monsters!! Now all of a sudden my situation doesn't seem so bad. at least I escape 24 hours a week!
• United States
17 Feb 07
Sometimes I wish I had a part time job just so I could get out of the house once in awhile. I always tell my husband, "at least you get 8 hours a day to be around other adults and away from the kids". But if I did get a job it would just be more work because I would still have to do everything I did when I stayed home but with less time to do it. Oh well. (I spent 6 hours cleaning the girls' room yesterday--so fun).
1 person likes this
@cipher2004 (1183)
• United States
15 Feb 07
How old are your kids?When my son was little I stayed home with him all the time.I was a single parent and had no help.I think your kids are probably testing you to see how far then can go before they get in trouble.Give it time. This is new to them they have to adjust.Once you get into some sort of pattern I think they and you will be fine.
1 person likes this
@soccermom (3200)
• United States
16 Feb 07
My oldest is 11 and I was never home when she was little because I was a corporate trainer for a restaurant and was always gone for new store openings. I always felt guilty about it, so now I am trying to enjoy the other two while they're little and be there for my oldest. Thanks for the encouragement.
• Indonesia
15 Feb 07
Hi soccermom, Sorry that I burst out of laugh when I read your discussion. You are totally right! lol (excuse me) Sometimes, I think those stay home mom are already going insane! Pardon me, for all the stay at home moms.:D The kids can drive them nuts, they (the so called adorable kids) sure know how to stir people to their limit. hahahaha. But I guess, when it's a routine, then it becomes more easier for the moms to do. Eventhough, there are times, which they can probably call it 'one of those days', you know.:) Yes, being stay at home moms are not easy, when one have kids that are little bit active. Need some tricks to deal with those little rascals; and only the moms that soon would figure that out. Give the kids some routine and discipline (but not to hard on the kids) and everything will be fine. I sometimes think that the stay at home moms have better patience than one who's dealing with the adults.
@soccermom (3200)
• United States
16 Feb 07
My mother in law watched the kids when while we work and this woman is a saint! She has a 10 year old of her own, takes care of my 4 year old and 16 month old, makes sure she picks up my 11 year old after school (after picking up her own daughter)and watches her 8 year old godchild over the summer. She never misses soccer for my girls, softball for her own, and always has a smile on her face!(maybe from the insanity?) She always figures a way to work all the schedules out and never complains or asks anything in return. I always tell her she's my hero. LOL :)
• United States
15 Feb 07
and they say stay at home moms dont work?
1 person likes this
@soccermom (3200)
• United States
16 Feb 07
Being home is way hareder than being at work. I think there should be some sort of financial reward for stay at home moms who aren't collecting a welfare check.
• United States
15 Feb 07
Me neither, and I don't even have kids yet. Right now, I am home more often, then I have ever been. Because I work from home, and I have to go to a new school for college (a long story, with no end in sight), so I am home most of the days. I am glad that I have mylot, and my new garden, but I am literally climbing the walls. All the members of my family, see this as an opportunity for me to get preg. so that I just have something to do...which is terrible. I do not want to have a kid because I am getting bored. I told my hubby that too, and that maybe I should get a second job (I work with him, for his business, from home), and that way I can leave the house more often...I don't know, I guess I am still transitioning also, but I do need to slow my life down...but this slow? It's a killer. I totally understand where you are coming from, and, having to spend all my time with my children (I have experienced this with other's children), would drain me, because they need so much attention and love.
@soccermom (3200)
• United States
16 Feb 07
Sign up for some volunteer work, it gets you out of the house, you make new friends with like interests and you get to make a difference in someones life! Hope things get less tedious for you!
• Philippines
15 Feb 07
ive been a stay at home mom for like 8 years now and still am sane! thanks God. lol. i love to do some stuff like scrapbooking. i do some sewing. i keep myself busy by helping out my kids with their homeworks, their school projects. being so involved with them is a never ending process. to think, i dont get paid doing all this! lol but im happy with my decisions. it amazes me more if a mom works for a living and when she goes home she's still the one who does all the chores!
1 person likes this
@cripfemme (7715)
• United States
19 Feb 07
I don't know either. I am way to goal oriented and when I have kids, I am still going to have a job. Because otherwise I'll be a worse parent than needed, I think, and I plan to be a good mom.
@minerc (1373)
• United States
17 Feb 07
I am a stay at home mom for many years now. It does get easier. I have little things that I will do with the kids if they get to out of hand. Depending on how warm it is outside I might have them go out and play. If its raining or dark I will give them a warning if they don't settle down some then we will do some household cleaning. Sometimes I will offer them to do craft projects to help with some of the energy. If it is to out of hand I make them take a shower to help settle down. Seperation from each other for a few helps sometimes as well. Sometimes you just got to find the right method to handle the behavior. They get use to it and it will get easier. Good Luck
• United States
16 Feb 07
I have been a stay at home mom for 4 years now. I have 2 kids(4,20months). I sometimes want to just scream. I have my kids 24/7. My husband don't trust ANYONE to keep my kids but me. I never get time alone now don't get me wrong i love my kids but just to be able to take a shower at a decent hour would be nice. I either have to get up really early or stay up late at night to get a shower because i know my kids are sleep. My husband don't watch them unless i am here you know. he never keeps them by himself. I am always here. And believe me gaining weight like crazy....lol. My husband does what he pleases and as always whatever i decide to do i have to make sure i take my kids with me.
• United States
16 Feb 07
i think sometimes that i am going to go crazy. i have a 2 year old and she seems to always be getting into things, i go to school full time online as well, and my hubby is a united states marine, so i have a full work load, but when my hubby comes home he takes over watches her so i can go to the gym, that is my little break from mommy world.
1 person likes this
@shonali (1286)
• India
16 Feb 07
wow...hats off to u woman..... im 23 and not married and dont plan on gettin married for the next five years atleast..... cant really think of having a kid and husband and all that comes along with it..... but quitting ur job to sit at home and spend more time with ur kids is awesome..... im not good at all with kids as much as i am with animals abd sometimes i really wonder how the hell am i gonna be as a mother..... it scares me...but i guess it comes with time and maturity.....
@XxAngelxX (2832)
• Canada
16 Feb 07
LOL, it is a tough job but you'll adjust quicker than you think I'm sure. It makes a big difference if you know other stay at home moms because then you have adults to talk to during the day, hehe. It will definitely get easier but there are always days when we feel our kids are driving us insane, it's completely normal. Good luck!
1 person likes this
@sripriya (450)
• United States
16 Feb 07
Well!this is the day to day challenge which the stay at home mom faces.Dealing with kids requires lot of patience and give and take.That's why moms are compared to God for the unique sacrifice they are doing for their children.I feel putting your responsibility on some one else's shoulder is no solution to this problem.Be brave and face the challenges your kids put to you!Iam sure you will not repent your actions later.
1 person likes this
@dmnd82 (11)
• United States
16 Feb 07
Having kids isn't the only way to become insane, but it sure is the fastest!
1 person likes this
@dmnd82 (11)
• United States
16 Feb 07
I have been a stay-at-home mom for 3 years now with my 2 children and yes it is very difficult. Many, many times I feel like going insane, but as time goes on and the children get older, it gets a lot easier, especially when one of them is in school during the day. The really tuff time that I have is when the oldest gets home and they start fighting, but she's been getting better with her younger brother, which makes things alot easier for me.
1 person likes this
@jimotman (633)
• Indonesia
16 Feb 07
my wife deals with my 13 month daughter all day long, as for me, I only meet her in the morning and at night. And even though I only with her just for a few hours a day, I hardly stand it.. I look forward for her to get asleep so that I can go do my things.. but my wife, from morning to night.. I really admire her.. I think that what mommies do.. so you as a mom should be able to do that too, you just need some time to get used to it. good luck!
1 person likes this