I like this one hope you do to and give one of your's in response
February 15, 2007 12:30pm CST
Sleeping Dad My mother and I returned to my parents' house late one evening to find my father, my college-age brother, Steven, and my ten-year-old sister fast asleep. Mom had forgotten her house keys, so we knocked loudly, first at the back door and then the front and side doors. We yelled my father's name over and over, with no answer. The car horn aroused the neighbors but no one at our house. We drove into town and phoned home, finally waking Steven. When we got back, he let us in. Dad was in bed, snoring, with the television on. Mom quietly switched it off. Dad woke right up. "Don't turn that off," he said. "I'm watching it!"
2 people like this
16 Feb 07
This is somebody like my hubby , may be they were brothewrs in some life. when we were newly weds, he was used to sleeping alone and one night after a month in to the wedding, he pushed me off the bed while sleeping, I woke up atartled but he never woke up. He fell asleep watching TV one night and I thought I will switch channels then spotted remote under his open palms, No sooner did i tried to take it away, he gripped it tightly and didn't let it go. I was laughing so hard and couldn't take the remote away from him but he was sound asleep gripping the remote tightly. this was just a week after pushing me down from the bed incidence,lol. I still tease him about it.
15 Feb 07
An accountant applies for the position of Chief Financial Officer. There are a number of candidates and he is called in for an interview. They ask him a number of questions and one of the panel suddenly says "What is nine multiplied by four?" He thinks quickly and says "Thirty five." When the interview is over he goes outside, takes out his calculator and finds the correct answer is not thirty five. He thinks "Well, I blew that" and goes home very disappointed. Next day he is rung up and told he has got the job. "Wonderful," he says, "but what about nine multiplied by four? My answer wasn't right." "We know, but of all the candidates you came the closest." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Deaf Accountant There was this man that was an accountant for the mob. He happened to be deaf and mute. While working for the mob he collected over $500,000 by stealing from the books. The mob boss finds out about this and sends two hitmen to his house. Since the accountant was deaf and mute his brother translated what his brother said. Hitman 1: Where is the money? Accountant signs he does not know Brother: He said he does not know Hitman 2: Tell us where the money is or we will kill your wife and kids, burn down your house, and castrate you! Accountant signs fast and furiously that the money is in a safe that is hidden in the floorboard of his closet and gives the combination. Hitman 1: What did he say? Brother: You don't have the balls!
16 Feb 07
My Dear Husband, I am sending you this letter via this BBS communications thing, so that you will be sure to read it. Please forgive the deception, but I thought you should know what has been going on at home since your computer entered our lives TWO YEARS AGO. The children are doing well. Tommy is seven now and is a bright, handsome boy. He has developed quite an interest in the arts. He drew a family portrait for a school project, all the figures were good, and the back of your head is very realistic. You should be very proud of him. Little Jennifer turned three in September. She looks a lot like you did at that age. She is an attractive child and quite smart. She still remembers that you spent the whole afternoon with us on her birthday. What a grand day for Jenny, despite the fact that it was stormy and the electricity was out. I am doing well. I went blonde about a year ago, and discovered that it really is more fun! George, I mean, Mr. Wilson, the department head, has taken an interest in my career and has become a good friend to us all. I discovered that the household chores are much easier since I realized that you didn't mind being vacuumed but that feather dusting made you sneeze. The house is in good shape. I had the living room painted last spring; I'm sure you noticed it. I made sure that the painters cut holes in the drop sheet so you wouldn't be disturbed. Well, my dear, I must be going. Uncle George--err--Mr. Wilson, I mean, is taking us all on a ski trip and there is packing to do. I have hired a housekeeper to take care of things while we are away, she'll keep things in order, fill your coffee cup and bring your meals to your desk, just the way you like it. I hope you and the computer will have a lovely time while we are gone. Tommy, Jenny and I will think of you often. Try to remember us while your disks are booting. Love, Your Wife
16 Feb 07
I did like it and as you asked for one in return. I am adding it. HIM & HER A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all. Married men lived longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die. Any married man should forget his mistakes - there's no use in two people remembering the same thing. Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night. A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does. A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman: before marriage and after marriage.