Dying Slowly

@Naomi17 (624)
February 16, 2007 4:02am CST
My dad is dying he has been the most inspirational person in my life,picked me up when i was down gave me the courage to spread my wings and loved me unconditionally! He is dying he has alchtiemers and cancer spreading and visiting him is very hard, he would hate what he's become lying in bed unable to do anything for himself! It hurts just to see how my proud dad is now just laying there waiting to die,sometimes he knows who i am says hello darling but those times are becoming rare has anyone else felt- i'm scared of him dying the next i want peace for him.
4 people like this
19 responses
@meme0907 (3481)
• United States
16 Feb 07
I know the pain of losing a parent-I know exactly how you feel when I heard my Momma was dying I went to her in the hospital & said "Momma, you get better do what the dr's say" then I came to the realization that she was in fact not gonna get better I said to her "Momma, you know it's okay to lay down & no one will be mad @ you" b/c I didn't want to she her struggling anymore. Naomi, I'm sorry to say it will not get easier (it hasn't for me & it's been over 5 years) I know you hate to see your father in pain but soak up every minute you can being by his side b/c you know he'll soon be gone. I'm praying for your situation. +'s 4 U
1 person likes this
@Naomi17 (624)
16 Feb 07
Thanks meme sorry your pain hasn't eased HUGS. My sister who's a nurse doesn't know why he's still alive, i guess he's staying with us just that bit longer! your mum knew you loved her and i'm sure she's smiling down on you every day you sound like a wonderful daughter
1 person likes this
@meme0907 (3481)
• United States
16 Feb 07
thank you for your kind word naomi :) +ed again :)
1 person likes this
• United States
17 Feb 07
I'm so sorry. It's hard but don't be scared of him dying, he will have peace and always be with you. Losing a parent is hard, and try not to dwell on what he's become, try to concentrate on the good times, and let him know it's okay to let go. Sometimes our family holds on for a long time because they are sunconsciously afraid to leave us physically. Know that he will always be with you, in your heart. Good luck and my thoughts are with you.
1 person likes this
@Naomi17 (624)
17 Feb 07
There are no bad memories he is and was the best dad in the world he is in my heart and thank you for your thoughts i hadn't thought about how he might be afraid to leave this life x
• Pakistan
16 Feb 07
Naomi heloo, well i am not getting through your name you are girl or guy . anyways well when i was 3 year old my father left, at that time i even didnt know the meaning of father, life taught me how to live , you know some thing he needs your prayers now. try to spend time with him , i cant say more abt it i dont know what the situation is but sweetheart i hope every thing will be alright with you. i am 25 now .. but living.. some times i think about it when i will become father how will i guide my children .. i mean when i was a child i didnt learn from my father how to deal with kids and all ... anyways i am making it lengthty hey cheer up .. i hope you will be doing well and every thing will be just fine with you may God give you and your father Peace.loveya
1 person likes this
@Naomi17 (624)
16 Feb 07
I'm a girl and thanks so much for your wise words
@wolfie34 (26793)
• United Kingdom
16 Feb 07
This is a very traumatic time for you, seeing your father in this condition, so helpless and certainly not the father who has brought you up, taken care of you and always been there for you. It is very hard and I was 15 when my nan who had been suffering with terminal cancer for about ten years passed away so cruelly, it hit me hard and even now I miss her deeply. Your emotions are running all over the place, part of you doesn't want to lose him and part of you wants him to suffer no more. I am not religious but one of my beliefs is that when we die, it is not the end, we pass onto another life, it's just a life cycle of a human, but I don't want to preach my beliefs. The fact is the most important thing is that you yourself have support and care, and someone to turn to, because as I said it is very traumatic and a time like this it's you who also needs people around you. Best wishes x
1 person likes this
@Naomi17 (624)
16 Feb 07
Its hard sometimes supporting my mum but i try my hubby is always there for me as is my eldest daughter. Today was a hard day i woke up thinking of my dad had a bad dream and felt all over the place and i am alone today so i posted and i thank you for sharing how you miss your nan i'm glad she's still in your heart and you have such good memories. I believe my dad was a wonderful person and this isn't the end HUGS
@charms88 (7543)
• Philippines
17 Feb 07
I can emphatize with what you're going through. We can't bear seeing the people closest to us suffering while we were left feeling helpless and suffering as well. I was 18 when my mom passed away due to liver cancer. Her cancer lasted for 10 months. Despite all her pains, she remained courageous and had accept her illness. Everyone within our family avoided talking about the inevitable. We know that she will not live much longer. Eventhough, her cancer lasted for 10 months, I'm still glad that I was able to share that last few months with her. We became closer, nore than we use before. I'm also thankful that God took her away from us coz I can't bear seeing her so thin and fragile. I know she is in heaven now and free of all the pains she had to endure. My prayers will always be with you and your father.
@Springlady (3986)
• United States
16 Feb 07
I am so sorry Naomi. Seeing someone you love in pain like that has to be so hard! I'm sure your Dad knows you are there with him even when he doesn't say anything. He knows you love him and I'm sure he loves you. Lean on the Lord. We have the awesome Promise of Eternal Life and we will see our loved ones again. I wish I could give you a big hug! God bless you!
1 person likes this
@morocz66 (121)
• Romania
16 Feb 07
sad story. i also lost my dad 3 years ago. i didnt even get a chance to say goodbye, when i woke up in h emorning he already past. but i wasnt so close to him. so its probably harder for you. now im the man in the house and sometimes its awfull, its a heavy burden.. i can only have one advice for you be strong!
1 person likes this
@stateroad (731)
• United States
16 Feb 07
I am sorry about your Dad. I know how you feel I lost my Dad to Cancer. That disease is horrible and eats away at people. It is hard on the Family to stand back and watch as their loved one drifts away. My thoughts and prayers will be with with you and your family. I hope your Dad does not suffer too much.
@Naomi17 (624)
17 Feb 07
Thank you for your kind words
@classy56 (2883)
• United States
16 Feb 07
im so sorry you are loseing your dad to cancer.my heart go's out to you an your family.i also lost my dad to cancer so i know how you feel seeing him in that condition.an the thought of him being helpless is very emotional.just be there with him an try to pick up his sprit an enjoy every moment you can with him."dont be scare of him dieing he will be with god an god will take care of him.your dad will have no pain an he will be resting in peace.its wrong for us to want to keep them liveing when they are suffering.you have to learn to accept that we have no control an god will take care of him.so dont be scared..god bless
@Naomi17 (624)
16 Feb 07
Thank you for those kind words today i felt so emotional and your words helped! I to believe in god and he gives me going just so hard somedays to see him slowly slipping away
@gemini1960 (1162)
• Philippines
17 Feb 07
im sad with your situation especially on the knowledge that your father will gonna die soon i know it hurts but jsut bear in mind that everyone of us will die..just pray for his peace and may he will be at Gods dwelling...
• Philippines
17 Feb 07
sorry to here this.. nevertheless, you are lucky to have a dad like him and you've experience how a father can love his child... my father left me at 5 yrs old and never came back. i dont even know if he is still alive or not.. try to accept the fact that wants to be with the Lord and you must be happy for him that he could rest peacefully. i know this is hard for your but hey, he will still be in your heart, mind and soul. he will always see you and guide you in every move you will do.
• United States
17 Feb 07
Naomi, I know it hurts to see someone you love so much is dying. But you got to be strong. You got to take care of yourself and your father, support him mentally. Even though he is in bed and unable to do anything, make him feel how much you love him and it's completely okay for you to work for him. Mental support is the biggest thing he needs. My mom suffering from cancer so I can feel your pain. My family supported her mentally and doctors said that it is one of the most important factor for a patient - "No matter what, I am with you till the end and I love you" Make him love himself....
@vanities (11376)
• Davao, Philippines
17 Feb 07
my sympathy for you on your dad,,the first thing you could do is at least during this moment of his life youre always there beside him...say a little prayer for his soul..everyone has to go but on different time its that that its your fathers turn at least not now but sooner as what you have described her....
• India
17 Feb 07
I am really sorry abt ur dad's condition.I know how u feel and its awful.Last night I was chatting with my sis and she told me abt my uncle who passed away the day before.He was fine when i saw him last time.We used to play chess and he was a good person.I thought abt it a lot and this is how it happens.But in ur case its still more bad seeing a person u love leaving.But be brave and dont let ur dad know tat u really care for him.Spend time with him and let him know tat u r there for him.This kind of moral support is what they expect at this stage.take care,Be brave
@heartie (59)
• United States
17 Feb 07
I 'm sorry abt ur daddy....My prayers r for u & ur daddy...i dont know what to say...but we have to accept the life for the wayit is........
@d_eagle (100)
• Philippines
17 Feb 07
hi, at least you have a good and nice memory of your dad. it is sad, i cannot imagine what you are undergoing every minute of your life, but just be strong for your dad. i read a book, tuesdays with morrie, i hope it will help you appreciate things inspite of what happened, for you, for your dad and your family. gosd bless
• United States
17 Feb 07
My Dad has Alzheimer's and he recognizes me, but couldn't tell you who I am. It is painful to think of how he used to be, so I try not to compare him to the person I remember. Even though it is hard, I think the best thing you can do is to be with him and accept the way he is now. Just think of him as someone you are meeting now in each new moment, but sharing memories when he can. Best wishes to you in a very hard time.
• United States
17 Feb 07
I lost my younger brother six months ago today. I know the feeling dear.
• United States
17 Feb 07
I lost my younger brother six months ago today. I know the feeling dear.