This man won't stop knocking on my door, calling my phone. Man I can't take it..

United States
February 16, 2007 1:32pm CST
Thanks for any help. This man is my neighbor from a few houses down. We have became friends. he has cooked dinner for my daughter and I. his son plays at my house etc. this man is scheduled to be married to a woman this year. he has clearly expressed how she won't hug his son. She won't sleep over their house because the ex wife gave the son a dog. She has no emotional connection the son. Now the father is always saying how he can talk to me. How he feels so comfortable with me etc. The son is always hugging me. he gets so worried when we go to the gym at night. The father is a great guy. he owns his own business,condo,etc The problem is I won't have any dealings with another persons man. I respect this woman (I don't know her). I also model my behavior for my daughter. He can't seem to get it. Now he's at my door. I won't answer the calls (call id) and I duct the door. Shouldn't this man respect me for respecting his relationship.? Please help
5 people like this
6 responses
• Canada
16 Feb 07
Some people just have to be told because they can't seem to take the subtle hints we try to give them without hurting their feelings . I would have to say this guy is probably one of them . Maybe you should go outside or answer the phone sometime when he calls and explain to him that you think he is a nice guy and all but that you respect that he has someone in his life and don't want to interfere in any way that might come across as something different to his girlfriend . The ohter option is to keep avoiding him , eventually he will have to give up lol . Best of Luck !!
3 people like this
• India
16 Feb 07
Onething that should help is dialog, speaking your view clearly out will educate him. Everything in this world can be settled by proper communication. Explain what all you think about your relations and responsibilities. Then give him sufficient time to speak out. I know this is not a one day solution, give it the time needed to settle down. After relations and people sideby us are more important than another thing in world. Wish you all happiness!
• United States
16 Feb 07
I have clearly spoken to this man. We were having dinner and all. many conversations as well. He clearly knows my views.
• United States
20 Feb 07
Well you are doing all the right things. He is clearly not getting the point. Maybe you should tell him that if he doesn't stop this behavior that you will be speaking to his fiance about it. It ia apparent that he wants more than a friendship. But he wants to have his cake and eat it too. Would you consider dating this man if he were not engaged or in another relationship. If so, maybe you should tell him this. Keep us posted. : )
1 person likes this
• United States
20 Feb 07
Yes in deed I would date him. he is so perfect for me in many ways. I have never told him this. Or even given him any reason to think I felt this way. I just can't be with anyone who is taken. It is not going to happen. But just for curiosity sake. I'll call him today just to see how he is doing. Maybe I'll get a update on the wedding plans. he has told his son (11 yr). Who told my daughter(12 yr)that he likes me as a girl friend. But he was not to tell my daughter. Thanks very much
1 person likes this
• United States
22 Feb 07
Hope everything goes well for you.
@dmillman (2273)
• United States
20 Feb 07
WOW, this is a tough one. If I'm reading this right, his son keeps giving you hugs, yes? Even if you don't like the son, maybe you could tell him what's going on and ask him to talk to his father. It's not really an optimal way to go about it, but if the guy can't take a hint, why not give it a try. If that doesn't work, don't let either of them over to your place outside or inside. I guess I'm assuming that the son is old enough to do this. If not, maybe keep your child away from his and tell him that the kids can't play together anymore. You can tell him why or not. If he can't get the hint from you, this might be the only way to give him the hint. If it gets really bad, find out his finacee' name and look her up and talk to her about. Explain why you don't want him around you, because you respect her. Start with that. I think it would be good to go in with the comment. Actually, you might want to start mentioning as his great attributes, then go into the problem. These are just ides that have popped into my head since I started responding. So it sounds good now - hope it sounds good later. I also hope that it might help you out too!!!
1 person likes this
• United States
20 Feb 07
I have no problem with the son. I love the little bugger truthfully. he is 11 and the most adorable ,well manored boy around. My daughter secretly told me. That the father told the son (Brandon)that he likes me as a girlfriend. I was shocked as the son knows of the other woman. I had the funniest thing happen to me. My neighbor came over to use the phone. As he was leaving the man pulled up to the door. he has never called me since. Thanks goodness. Thanks very much for understanding.
@dmillman (2273)
• United States
20 Feb 07
You're welcome. I hope one of my ideas helps you out. Keep us posted on the situation!
@mansha (6301)
• India
16 Feb 07
gifts what do you actually feel about him, are you holding yourself back for the sake of that woman in his life, I think the man is not really ionterested in her but is lonely and seeking company. Why don't you go and tell him , you will see him if only he makes his positio clear to her and to you. Be extra careful and tell him you will not make any promises to him except may be continue to bay sit his boy and may be stay friends wioth him. But dating is no as he is commited to another women and you don't wish to come in between. If in his mind he has given upon her may be its better that he sorts it out with that one first and stop bothering you. Give him some time to break even with the other lady if you wish to see him as potential date or else, I suggest ask him you will call police if he didn't stop bothering you.
1 person likes this
• United States
16 Feb 07
i could see if I had not been clear with him. I am to free with my mouth to hold back. He just keeps asking to use my computer. I let him and he needs nothing and then wants to talk. I was on a long distance call once. I told him this and said I would talk to him later. he said i don't care. I went in the bath room and stayed till he left. 30 minutes later. he is lonely I can tell you that. I even told him loneliness is no reason to marry a woman. Thanks so much.
1 person likes this
@lsen06 (5000)
• India
19 Feb 07
keep avoiding him.
1 person likes this