A very confuised friend needs some help
February 16, 2007 3:51pm CST
I have a very good friend that needs some help. She was dateing this man for three years. He had moved on to someone else so she thinks and sees with her own eyes. When she confronts him he lies about it to her. He does not call her for two months and out of the blue he calls and stops to see her. He tells her that he is not seeing anyone and the person that she saw him with was only a good friend of his mothers. So she lets it go and does not say anything to him anymore. She starts to trust him agian and he disapears for another two months or so and he starts back up agian on calling her and telling her that he loves her and he wants her back. She belives him agian but this time she is thinking twice of letting her back in her life agian. She has one ? for the people out their . that ? is how can she get over him if he comes and goes like he is now to her. just when she thaught that she was over him and she could move on with her life and her kids life he comes back into their lives. she loves him to death and she would do anything for him and she hopes that he would do the samething for her and her kids, but she is haveing second thaughts about alot of things. she would like to get some feed back from everyone who reads this.
1 person likes this
• United States
8 Mar 07
Well, first let me say that I am sorry it took me so long to respond. I hope it is still ok for me to comment on this discussion. 1. Your friend needs to change her phone number. He can not be calling anymore if she truly wants to get over him. 2. Think of it as it is not a healthy relationship that is a good example for your friend's children. The children see him come and go...and unless your friend wants the children to believe this is ok in a relationship, she needs to stop. 3. If he appears at the door, close it!!! Just say the words, You are not welcome here anymore....and close the door!!! 4. Find another boyfriend to move on! If she finds herself interested in another, it will be easier to close the door on someone from her past. My best wishes and strength to your friend.
• United States
8 Mar 07
She actually shocked me the other day. We went to eharomy.com and she signed up for a years membership for them to help her find someone. She s cute about it too because she has already receieved emails, so I know she is trying to move on. I suggested to her to change her number but she kept giving me excuses as to why she cant. I am reallyhoping and praying eharmony can help her.
19 Feb 07
I can relate as I am going through something similar myself. I met my boyfriend (or should I say ex?)18 month ago. We were together every weekend for 7 months, then he decided he wanted to be free to see other people. We went our separate ways and I started dating, then a month later he wanted to see me. I love him, so of course I went and we spent the next few weekends together, then he did it again. I told him I wasn't going to play high school games and if he wanted to be with me he had to make up his mind. He decided that he did want to be with me and we spent the next 10 months together every weekend. Things were wonderful and he said that he loved me too, then he did it again. He's not saying he wants to see other people, just doesn't know what he wants, is confused, messed up, depressed, etc. He hinted that he will want to see me again, but I just don't know if I could go back again. I love him with all my heart, but I can't keep putting my life on hold for him to figure it out. I just feel that it will work out however it is supposed to and go on with my life.
• United States
16 Feb 07
i feel so bad for your friend, its obviouse that he doesnt love her and that he is only using her. he seems like a man that cant stand to be alone and he knows how much she loves and cares for him and that she will take him back simply because he says he loves her.. well love also has to do with trust and she can definatly not trust him she may love the man she first became involved in but how can she love the man he has become, you said that she tries to move on with her and her kids's life.. if their are children involved then the only thing she can do is to keep this man as far away from them as possible, they are seeing him not only treat their mom with total disrespect they are learnign this is the way a relationship is suppose to work which it isnt.. tell her to take out the trash and tell him NOT to bother her again, he isnt willing and by the sounds of it wanting her in his life its time to cut her looses and run... there are many other men who are alot more deserving of her love and the love of her children then this boy because he isnt a man .. i gave you a plus for this topic because i know alot of women go thru this