Do people still get married?What are your reasons for doing that?

Wedding rings - Wedding rings.
@Profetu (1253)
Romania
February 17, 2007 8:17am CST
Many married couples are regreting the choises they've made in life.The divorce rate is growing all over the world.Why is that happening?Some people just don't get along but still remain married (finding excuse like:children to raise,people will "talk","shame" of being divorced,etc.).Where is the love/compatibillity in our times?Do we just preffer to have someone who will annoy us for the sake of "not being alone"?Teenagers are getting married because they don't want to end up like their parents did ...30-40 years old are getting divorces for the same reasons.Is there any influence that our world (society) provides to get a divorce because many stipulate that if you don't get along...get separated immediately (without any concern about fixing it up).This kind of judgement you wouldn't find in a small community.Is it because of the small amount of "choices" they have (lesser number of people)?Do happy married couples still exist or is that a legend?What are your choices to provide yourself a satisfying life?How many compromises are you able to make (if any) or are you just using the concept of "life partner"?
3 people like this
22 responses
@stibigirl (291)
• United States
18 Feb 07
Marriage is about compromise, with each other and with time, so there is no way around it, it is commitment in every sense of the word. Making a choice to be with another person for the rest of your life is a big decision, but I don't think that the stigma of divorce need be so heavy on peoples minds. Just because things did not work out for someone does not mean that they do not go on to have a better life with someone else. Every day is a new chance to make choices that will either make your marriage strong, or help it to fall apart, people must make the choice. I am married, have been for 5 years, dated my husband for 6 years before I got married, I have never been divorced. Happily married couples do exist.
@Thomas73 (1467)
• Switzerland
18 Feb 07
This is a very good discussion, as I often wonder why I got married. My wife is probably the most gentle person in the world, loving, kind and patient. And she loves me more than anything! These are the reasons I'm still with her, although thoughts of divorce are almost constantly on my mind. She is not the woman I want to be with, and the one I truly love -- my real soul-mate -- is somehow out of reach. But how could I hurt so much someone who is so generous and devoted to me? Life's a right b1tch sometimes...
1 person likes this
@Profetu (1253)
• Romania
18 Feb 07
First of all...i would like to thank you for posting here.Don't relly know what to say about you in your case....but i guess that if it' still working then it's ok.
1 person likes this
@pilbara (1436)
• Australia
18 Feb 07
I got married 8 years ago and am still happily married. Sure there are compromises to be made and there have been difficult times but that's what the vows are all about. Making a committment to someone and meaning it. I think these days it's easier for people to not understand about committment until something happens to test that committment. For example my husband was injured on the way to our honeymoon, we have had years of legal battles, he lost his job etc etc. But we are still together. Some people just can't take pressure and it is easier to divorce and move on than it is to spend the time and effort in working things out.
@Profetu (1253)
• Romania
18 Feb 07
Congratulations on the example brought here and thank you for posting.I wish you a hapy marriage to ALL of you who did the same.
@earthsong (589)
• United States
18 Feb 07
I got remarried almost four years ago. For me it was a show of commitment to a man I love and want to be with for the rest of my life. For him it was a show of commitment to me and his love for me, but also to my older children whom he later adopted. I admit I made a mistake with my first marriage. I don't regret that mistake because I have three beautiful children because of it. I did have to think long and hard about getting married again. I do think happily married couples exist. They are the ones who don't get disillusioned by every day ins and out. They don't expect their partner to always be pretty, perfect, thin, rich, romantic... They are the ones who know people are people, and love their mate despite their imperfections and occasional bad attitudes. They are the ones who made a commitment and have enough pride in their promises to do the best they can to honor that. They don't take the easy way out and jump into bed with someone who makes them "feel good" and jump out of their marriage when the going gets rough and not-so-fun.
1 person likes this
@Profetu (1253)
• Romania
18 Feb 07
I don't think that happy married couples do exist too.You pass throug life and encounter a series of troubles and bad things.Your answer is really good thank you vey much for sharing.Maybe it's about courage too.
@asystar (19)
• Malaysia
17 Feb 07
I think when they're still couple, their thinking orientation normally just for fun or enjoy. What happen if they have a problem each other, how they handle the situation for become better in short time. I think a good choice for our married couple is when our parent agreed with our choice because they're very know about their child needs and who is very suit to be a good life couple for us. What we need is what the things we don't have. Don't just thinking about we need but must thinking about what we give.
1 person likes this
@Profetu (1253)
• Romania
17 Feb 07
Well it depends on what are those things that we need , and if we know we have made a right choice or we are just blinded by love?And our parents might see things more clearly than us...maybe.
@charms88 (7541)
• Philippines
17 Feb 07
I've been married for 8 years now. It was a long journey of trials, mistakes, hurts, arguments and so on...All married couples will vouch for that. But my husband and I were able to learn along the way. Because we both respect and trust each other. Some couples chose separation because they believe it is the only way for them to attain peace. For whatever the reasons or circumstances, society thus play an important role regarding this issue. Because divorce is easily available for anyone. Divorce is not yet legal in my country. But I will not be surprise that couples will begin lining up to file for divorce once it become legal.
@Profetu (1253)
• Romania
17 Feb 07
NOT legal? What country is that who will not allow a person to be free?It is a fredom choice of making that step.Glab though that you managed to stay happy and have a normal life.I do beleive that people have "correspondents" or compatible persons to get along with (some say love or that their ment for each other) and start to understand each other.But that depends on how intelligent , patient and understanding are you as a person.
• Spain
18 Feb 07
I say every single day to my spouse that I love her because I want to love her. I´ve got three children and a mother in law living with us. I made a decision to keep on my marriage despite the everyday difficulties. It is a joke that you get married with your half orange, It is not that possible, for many reasons. All is about a decisiveness and courage. We are completely different but we did not aware of that 15 years ago (it is logical, buy the way). My piece of advice about this matter is to make a decision and to be consistent with it. Period.
1 person likes this
• Pakistan
18 Feb 07
i think some couples after getting married are fed up from each other.Then they don't try to understand each more due to which they get themselves far away from each other and in the they are forced to give divorce to each other by time...
1 person likes this
• China
18 Feb 07
This problem is very hard.Many adults have noticed it but they had't courage to face it.Maybe they wanted their faces.However,i think living with your own way is better.Please ignore others and do what you like.
1 person likes this
@anne_143god (5390)
• Philippines
18 Feb 07
It is always depend on the couple if they really want to work out their relationship. Sometimes the selfishness of a person on one marriage lead them to divorce for he /she will do whatever that person wants and without thinking the result so it end up to a broken relationship. It is always take two to tango and you should both always do your duty and not to blame each other but to work out each weaknesses.
• Philippines
18 Feb 07
Married life is like dancing a tango. You cannot dance without the other. You have to be with your partner to dance. Marriage is a fullfilment and most it is a commitment. Wherein you have to hold to each other. Yes there is still happy couple now-a-days, enjoying their married life though they old already. Before you enter a married life you have to think it a millions times becoz this is not a joke, this is a lifetime commitment.
@Profetu (1253)
• Romania
18 Feb 07
I presume that you cand dance alone too when you don't have a choice...or with whom :).There are still happy couples in our world but i think they are fewer then it used to be.oh yeah and you do have to think of it millions of times before.
@babyreyn (934)
• Philippines
18 Feb 07
I do believe in the sacredness of marriage. I am not going to be with a man if we were not bonded by the matrimony of marriage. The problem is that, some of them especially teenagers who get into married life is that they don't really understand what is married, what is family. Before you enter into married life, make sure that you really prepared, physically, morally and spiritually. The most important part is love, then trust, hope and understanding, and forgiveness. IF you have them all, I am very much sure that divorse will no longer exist on this earth. Happy married couples is stil existing because my parents for their 32 years of being a couple, with Gods help they are getting stronger as days, and years goes by.
@Profetu (1253)
• Romania
18 Feb 07
I know it's a little sacred to me too that ceremony of marriage.You i think added forgivness...nice ideea to add in a relationship.thank you for a wonderful post good luck to you.
@blanksolid (1632)
• Spain
18 Feb 07
I think that the people still get married because they feel that their religion encourage to them to still get married over the years so its not bad idea from my point of view, have a nice day on mylot and happy earnings also.
@Profetu (1253)
• Romania
18 Feb 07
thank you for the kind words i "happy earnings,and a nice day to you too"It is about religion isn't it?
@lingli_78 (12844)
• Australia
18 Feb 07
i still think that marriage is important and it is very sacred... it is supposed to happen only once in a lifetime... and as i am a Christian, i abide to the Bible that says what has been united by God, cannot be separated by humans... and it is actually a sin to get a divorce... so, i think i have to fight and struggle no matter how hard my marriage is and make it works...
@Profetu (1253)
• Romania
18 Feb 07
i really don't consider it a sin if something bad happends (say like cheating , beating etc.).Religion from what i can see does dictates a little bit a marriage...i don't approve with that.
• Pakistan
18 Feb 07
my deer people in past get married because they want to know about them selves deeply and to fall in love.but today the world is going at very high speed where every one trying to beat the other that is why people have no time for other and their marriages flop. i am a Muslim and it is a part of our region to get married once in a life.i am in favor of marriage because when you are with your children that is the most beautiful think of life.
@Profetu (1253)
• Romania
18 Feb 07
From what i can remember your religion might say that you get married once in a life...but didn't you get other concubines besides the wife?If that's true....then your people managed to "slip" something there to "improve" the unsatisfied ones.
• United States
18 Feb 07
I am ashamed to say that I am divorced and remarried, but I feel that I did have a solid reason to get a divorce. I know that in every marriage your partner changes when you say I do, but my exhusband did a complete 180. Before we were married he was so good to me & we could talk about anything and everything, he had so much patience with me & with my son (who was only 3 at the time) He was my manager at work, and we worked really good together, he did not show favoritism to me or anything, but we seemed really compatable and I had fallen for him after only a few months. We both wanted to have a large family, live out in the country, and our lives were headed in the same direction..... Well, about a month after we were married (the first month everything was going well) I had to be taken to the hospital because of horrible pains & fainting, we found out the I had 2 ovarian cysts on the verge of rupturing & a uterine tumor, and the doctor told us that I may not be able to have children. Well, the was like flipping a light switch with him, after that day he started becoming violent with me, & my son, he had no patience, it felt like I never could do anything right, I felt my son & I were walking on egg shells around him, in MY home (I had it before we were married) It got really bad, he was hitting me, as well as mentally abusing me, and a lot of other things that I had rather not discuss here, but after 3 months of this I couldn't handle much more, then he hit my son, not a spanking he just straight up hit him because my son was being a 3 year old & woke him up (mind you it was Noon on a weekday & he had already been asleep for 10 hours) I couldn't handle anything else after that so I took my son & left my own home, served him with divorce papers & an eviction notice the next day. So I feel I had grounds for a divorce, for 3 months while he was being a monster I tried everything in my power to make our relationship work, we were in church, he put up the loving & caring husband front there, I scheduled us numerous counseling appointments, but he would get mad at me & smack me around for doing it & wouldn't go. I didn't know what else to do. A few months after we divorced I ran into an ex who was really good to my son & I both when we had dated before, before I had married my exhusband he had visited my son quite often after our break up and spent lots of time with him. Any how, we ended up getting back together & have been together for 3 years now, and married for almost 3 months, we have a 7 month old little girl, & another baby on the way. We are happy together, and face none of the same issues I faced in my first marriage. I think that we will last, I hope we get to celebrate our 75th Wedding Anniversary together, lol :)
@Profetu (1253)
• Romania
18 Feb 07
WOw...thank you for your time and for sharing your problem here.DO NOT feel shame whatever things happend with your ex..there is no reason...feel proud that you've managed to get out fast from it (in some cases wome womens just wait and wait and hope to improve something for years...don't do that)because i encourage a healthy relationship and whatever makes a couple happy , then it's "approved" (except illegal stuff etc.)In your case here...well if you feel happy and ok getting back toghether then do it...but be carefull.
@jimotman (633)
• Indonesia
18 Feb 07
divorces mostly happen because both parties (husband and wife) aren't able to communicate well, much because they're too busy with work, or because they're selfish. In marriage, you have to accept your partner for the way he/she is, don't expect much more. If every problem that arise in a marriage are solved together, it will bound the marriage even stronger. But the matter is different if it's about cheating :D
@Profetu (1253)
• Romania
18 Feb 07
true if they can't comunicate but maybe that's because sometimes they don't want to...what if the prblem of cheating exists and they don't put it different...and try to solve it?
@hell_123 (228)
• India
17 Feb 07
all say that marages ar made in heaven if so why som people get divorce its just because of som ego problums they dont like one thing in the other ans they critise one other and its grow up and so they get divorce if they sit and talk with each other and try to discus the problum with one other they willed b solved if they do what happenes to there children and the elders who needs shelter and food in those days its realy sick to get divorced........
@Profetu (1253)
• Romania
17 Feb 07
it is a painfull process getting a divorce (or even separated and why not "dumped") bunt some cases require it.Some people really start knowing each other by staying day and night one with another.if the problems are too big i think that a divorce is needed (we've all heard of domestic violence...and that sadly do happens frequently)
• India
18 Feb 07
it is necessary for companionship,procreation.
• India
18 Feb 07
A human want spaciality of his life partner that both of person share his or her thoughts and know understanding of him