Is money ruling and ruining relationships today?

@worthy (2413)
India
February 18, 2007 1:29am CST
Do you think so? My friend's parents have a decent lifestyle.Good job,good salary and good behavior.They do welfare activities too. But their most of the relatives are very rich and have lavish lifestyle. What makes me feel bad is the way they treat my friend's parents.They somewhat look down upon them and feel as if they can lightly ridicule them and their children whenever they feel like. Their two children are very polite and intelligent.But they have to face scorn and hostility during family gatherings. Do you think its okay? do you find similar situations around you too.?
10 people like this
33 responses
• United States
18 Feb 07
Yes, unfortunately, especially here in America. It kis clear that our national lust for money has gotten us into a terrible mess in the Middle East with oil at the heart of the issue. We are forcing nations to trade with us and threatening them if they do not comply. This is a ruinous relationship on a vast scale, and money is also fragmenting personal relationships as well. But what do we do about it?
@worthy (2413)
• India
18 Feb 07
At least on our personal level we should not let money influence our behaviour pattern. Compassion and moral values should be kept alive within us and at least likeminded people can practice what we preach. How on earth can we ever think money more important than our loved ones. At the same time we cant deny that money is very essential for fulfilling our needs.But in no way it is more important that man.
2 people like this
• United States
18 Feb 07
It's a similar case with my pseudo-inlaws and their extended family. I, on the other hand, come from a historically impoverished family and my parents right now are probably the richest nuclear family within the entire family - they both have at least a bachelor's degree (my mom has a Master's degree) and they both hold professional jobs (as in, they're a teacher and a pharmacy technician, not just a cashier or something). It took years and years for them to get where they are. To get back on track, no, I don't think it's okay to snub your poorer relatives. If they have terrible manners and are nasty people that's one thing. If it's purely because of money, then that's stupid.
@worthy (2413)
• India
19 Feb 07
Yes.It is really stupid.Thanks for the good reply.
1 person likes this
@stibigirl (291)
• United States
18 Feb 07
Yes this unfortunately is the way that society likes to treat people based on income, not all people will treat others this way, but enough to make it a problem. Money has nothing to do with happiness, happiness has everything to do with your state of mind, I only say this from experience. I know first hand what it feels like to be treated lesser amongst people who have more and it is not a good feeling, but it is the way things are. No I don't think it is okay, bur until the world stops basing its economy on the almighty dollar we will be consumed by it.
@worthy (2413)
• India
18 Feb 07
Very well stated friend.What an irony ,man made dollars but now its dollars that makes or breaks him.
2 people like this
• India
18 Feb 07
Yes, I can understand what you are trying to say here. I have also faced similar situation when i was a kid.But still I would say its not always money and its something or the other.......some times it just the competition to be on the top, or you can say one EGO.....my children are better or I have more, I can do better..........and the bottom line of all is once false ego.........I would also say that its not a good practice, one day they will feel that what they were doing/saying was wrong.
2 people like this
@worthy (2413)
• India
18 Feb 07
I hope we all realise the mistakes and prejudices that we deliberately or subconsciously have and try to get rid of them in order to become a better human being.
3 people like this
• India
18 Feb 07
well sometimes I feel that the unnecessary barriers that we erect due to our own egoistic attitudes is the root cause of all the relationship problems. Money is just another factor which augments this fissure among relationships. My personal experience says that people with similar status also have problems but when it comes to analyzing a relationship problem between people of different financial status we tend to take the easy way out and blame it all on the money part. I would like to bring your attention to the root of all problems and that is a poorly educated/enlightened soul. Hope people can rise above the differences and create a world a better place to live
1 person likes this
@worthy (2413)
• India
19 Feb 07
Thats right.In order to reach destinations we have to take the first step. Unfortunately when we talk about relationships then one sided effort can not get the desired result. Your point to strive for becoming an enlightened and bias free human beings is certainly the most important step for uprooting all kinds of evils and malpractices from the society. utopia ??????????
1 person likes this
@Jusred (1579)
• United States
19 Feb 07
I think that is terrible, especially for those two children, whose self-esteem is very impressionable at a younger age..But i do agree that finances are a major problem in regards to relationships. I believe i have even read the statistics that finances where the number one reason behind divorce. Many couples argue more about money then anything else, and not surprisingly so when you look around at the crazy-high costs of living in most places.. As for your friends's parents, do their relatives know how hurtful and destructive their behavior and comments are? I know it is hard to 'avoid' that kind of family, for alot of reasons..But if this is the kind of relationship they are going to share, it sounds better for them to do so, sadly.. :(
@worthy (2413)
• India
19 Feb 07
I think you have understood the kid's and parents' dilemma. The solution to avoid them whenever they can is at the moment going to save them from their plight. Thanks for the useful suggestion.
1 person likes this
• Grenada
19 Feb 07
I just finished watching a docu-report on very successful people who hae chosen to trade their hustle and bustle life for a simpler life. folks from Programmers to TV Executives. Went to work on a farm, went to kive in the mountainside, etc. They all say one thing in common. They have never been so happy and content before. Something to think about.
2 people like this
@worthy (2413)
• India
19 Feb 07
Thats right.Money and happiness are not the closest of relatives.
1 person likes this
@XxAngelxX (2832)
• Canada
18 Feb 07
Unfortunately this seems to be the way of the world, people seem to be so materialistic. Personally, it doesn't bother me if I don't have any extras and I am trying to raise my children to judge people by their attitude and behaviours instead of what they have or don't have. It's not money that makes a person, but unfortunately not everyone thinks that way. They seem to place so much importance on what they own and what everyone else has. It's always a competition in keeping up with the Jones'
2 people like this
@worthy (2413)
• India
19 Feb 07
Kudos to you not only for being a nice person but also for bringing up your children so nicely by inculcating the right values in them.
1 person likes this
@gabs8513 (48715)
• United Kingdom
18 Feb 07
No I do not think that is ok, I think that is awful and disgusting. At the end of the Day they are Family and they should not be treated that way at all. They might not have a lot of Money but they are a lot Richer then their rich Relatives as they have love, decency, 2 great Children and a close Relationship and that is worth more then any Money in the world.
2 people like this
@worthy (2413)
• India
19 Feb 07
True.Its nice to know there are people who put virtue over money. Thanks for the nice response.
1 person likes this
@men82in (1270)
• India
18 Feb 07
Hostility, politeness,decency, discipline we can expect from enough money families only . The much money holders cannot able to behave with polite, disciplined, obedience . Even for intelligency the lavish money holders ahs to purchase the intelligence from shop or to copy from the polite persons. The relationships mainly throughout the world adjudged by money . If you have money you can buy the relatives. But with money you cannot buy the humanitarian grounds.
@worthy (2413)
• India
18 Feb 07
Very good points.That shows people with less money are far better off in terms of richness of thinking and behaviour.
2 people like this
@pumpkinjam (5782)
• United Kingdom
18 Feb 07
Yes, I do think money can ruin relationships. Even people who think that money doesn't make a difference, it really does because people with more money will almost always believe they are better than someone with less money. Although sometimes the opposite is true and this can also cause problems. I mean, I know a few people who have plenty of money and they are just not nice or good people. Sometimes they believe they are better because they have more money and sometimes they get upset because they assume they are better and realise they are actually not. I mean, my family and I have never really had much money or good jobs or anything like that but all of us are intelligent, we are all polite and we are mostly nice and good people. There are so many rich people who don't like the idea that someone from what they consider to be a worse background could be as good as them. I would rather be around nice poor people than snobby rich people. I think it is especially bad if it is within a fanily. Some of my family are a bit like that but some aren't. We are part of the "poor" side but most of the rest of the family don't really see that as an issue although some do. The ones who don't see it as an issue are, by far, the nicer people.
2 people like this
@worthy (2413)
• India
18 Feb 07
Thats right pumpkinjam.One usually doesn't give importance to these issues,but only when you see children being subjected to unreasonable scorn during family get togethers ,is when you really stop and think about it.
2 people like this
@phayeth (519)
• Philippines
18 Feb 07
well in my case money really ruins relationship as of today... just like happened to my family right now.. its really true that money is the "Root of All Evil"!!!
2 people like this
@dbeast (1498)
• India
18 Feb 07
Money - Money rules the world and has become the way of the world.
well as the saying goes money IS the root of all evil.money changes people and lives.when people get drunk with power and money minded they hardly seem to care about anything .that includes others sentiments and even their own blood relations.it has become the way of the world in this current generation.Its the money which does all the talking and only the ones with money are respected.
1 person likes this
@worthy (2413)
• India
18 Feb 07
You have put the reality very correctly in words here. Thanks for the views that you have expressed here.
2 people like this
@worthy (2413)
• India
19 Feb 07
Thanks maddy.You are very wise. Thanks a lot for responding to this post.
1 person likes this
@Bangalorean (1282)
• India
19 Feb 07
It goes without saying that its 200% true. As it is known that ants gather around sugar, so do relationships around money. And when it comes among relations, it is worst. I have been a victim of it among my relatives. My dad who hailed from a well-to-do family broke away from them as he married my mom, against the wishes of his family. After that we had a tough time,as my dad had to build everything new, as he had to take care of us and other needs. we were a middle class family and my cousins were rolling in wealth. We used to meet them at the temple during prayers, but we hardly interacted.
1 person likes this
@worthy (2413)
• India
19 Feb 07
Its really sad how money comes in between people but its so stupid for the people who allow money to do so. having money is one thing and allowing yourself to become its slave at the cost of hurting your own people is something entirely another. More so because if used wisely it can strengthen relationships.But ah.... we mortals...... will never learn. will we?
1 person likes this
• India
19 Feb 07
Oh yes, the world is famous for carrying coal to newcastle, if you know what i mean. its becoming increasingly difficult to pass on the message of simple living, high thinking to our children. day in day out their impressionable minds are being exposed to the commercial society and there's no way you can immunnise them from the onslaught of market economics. another thing i'v noticed is that people give examples of more well-off relatives, but poverty and struggle to overcome it, is never glorified. i think intelligent parents should actually sever all links with their more well-off relatives, in order to protect their children from unkinds barbs and taunts.
1 person likes this
@worthy (2413)
• India
3 Mar 07
That is exactly what they have done.Sad,isn't it?
1 person likes this
@sigma77 (5385)
• United States
19 Feb 07
That is too broad of a statement. It completely depends on the individual. Money does ruin some relationships. That is because people are irresponsible with or without money. Money does not rule anything except for those who let it. It is very possible to be extremely rich and be a highly decent and respectful person. Everyone wants to blame money for their problems or the problems of the world. That is nonsense. Yes, for some it is a problem because of the way the treat money. For others , they have lots of money and also lots of happiness and great relationships as well as respect for others. It depends on the persons involved. To make generalizations is simply the people who are lacking being jealous or despising the rich. It is not OK for people to treat others with disrespect, period. Money doesn't make the difference, it is the disrespectful person who does.
1 person likes this
@worthy (2413)
• India
3 Mar 07
What you have mentioned is also true.Only people falling under this category are very few.Yes,jealousy of, the not- so-well off relative can be a very strong reason to make relationships sour.
1 person likes this
@lingli_78 (12844)
• Australia
19 Feb 07
i really think so... it is very very sad to see that familly shatters and torn apart just because of money... fortunately, for me and my husband, money is not everything... we are really contented with what we have now and always grateful for it... well, as the Bible says "The root of all evils is the love of money" which i think is very very true...
1 person likes this
@worthy (2413)
• India
19 Feb 07
I think you are right.Thanks for your good reply.
1 person likes this
• Brazil
18 Feb 07
Well, Yes, i do think, in a lot of cases, money has started ruining relationships Nowadays... Some time ago, it was just love and fun for real... Now There are alot Money-based relationships.. I will tell you something that Happened in my country, brazil. Well, Like 2 months ago a man won at lotery, Like U$20 Mill. Ok... Then.. 'Magicaly' Some Teen girl With like 20 years old [ he was like 40].. came and they start a relationship... 2 Weeks later he is assassinated... She was accused and proved that she paid killers... I mean.. Money made she technically kill a person... and also fake love feelings...
1 person likes this
@worthy (2413)
• India
19 Feb 07
Thats a terrible thing to happen.Poor man.Really feel sorry for him. Thanks for sharing and revealing the ugly limit one can go for greed of money.shocking.
1 person likes this
• India
18 Feb 07
This cases are increasing day by day as money is gaining control over ethics and rituals. People who are rich are found to humiliate the poor onec. This is not good nor correct but with money in hand they feel to be on the top of the world. Even i have got few friends who like to boast about their money power so the others have started avoiding them and thus teaching them a lesson.
1 person likes this
@worthy (2413)
• India
19 Feb 07
The message should be conveyed.Either be good or get lost.Lol.
1 person likes this
@TeaCup (230)
• United States
18 Feb 07
You know, my family is different from my relatives. We are by no means well off, or rich, but we're vegetarians and we are law abiding citizens and pretty much nearly all of them shun us, and we give our number to "one" relative, now the 'whole world' has it and we get calls and hang ups all the time. I think it's the same story, only on the flip side. your friends relatives are exactly like mine-only with more money!
1 person likes this
@worthy (2413)
• India
19 Feb 07
I agree.
1 person likes this
• Nigeria
18 Feb 07
The world is always revolving the way one treat others we will be treated likewise, message for those family they will not always be there.Treat people nice when one is at the top so when they get to their top they will remember you.
1 person likes this
@worthy (2413)
• India
19 Feb 07
Wow.what a great message you have given my friend.This is what Gita (Hindu holy book)says. We all should think of the future.who knows what it has in store for us. Agree with you absolutely.Thanks for the great reply.
1 person likes this