Serious Discussions on Mylot

By Leca
@lecanis (16664)
Murfreesboro, Tennessee
February 18, 2007 4:43pm CST
In the month or so that I've been on mylot, I've found myself starting and replying to a lot of discussions on very serious topics: homophobia, religion, abuse, parenting quandries, dealing with grief, health issues. The list just goes on and on. It's astounding to a friend of mine that I and so many other people are willing to discuss such serious issues on a forum such as this. While peeking over my shoulder today, he mentioned that he just couldn't understand it. I tried to explain it to him, but came up sounding like I wasn't really sure why I did it myself. So for those of you who choose to participate in serious discussions on mylot, why do you do so? What motivates you to open yourself up this way, and what, if any, topics would you not tackle here?
9 people like this
37 responses
• Pakistan
18 Feb 07
i think there is no harm in sharin our problems like that ... i think at mylot ppl dont abuse others of their problems so we share them and good for u ... i think it is good to look into other peoples problems when they say that they need help with them ... its a good habbit to give them good advice and help ... and mylot helps us to do that ... keep it coming
2 people like this
@lecanis (16664)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
18 Feb 07
Thanks for your response, and your positive outlook.
1 person likes this
@maryannemax (12170)
• Sweden
19 Feb 07
yep. it's only here in mylot where we can get real advices from real people. maybe it's not their own experience but maybe an experience from someone they know of. atleast we get something new here everyday from every discussion there is. problems are a part of life. and it's always nice to share them sometimes to lessen the burden inside of us.
1 person likes this
• United States
19 Feb 07
I've only been here for two days. I have always liked to go on sites like xanga, myspace, and mylot and talk to strangers about really controversial issues like abortion, immigration, religion (that's a big one), and politics. I find that it helps me keep an open mind, that my opinion's not the only one out there. It also makes me use my head, and I like thinking real hard (even if it hurts sometimes lol). I don't think that there is a topic that I wouldn't tackle. Maybe you could make it into a challenge. Post discussions on really controversial topics and see how many people join in. Then you can also look at the consistency of certain people on all of your discussions. It will help us open up a little more, and there would be the added bonus of you being really popular and getting a lot of money. I might just do it myself...
@lecanis (16664)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
19 Feb 07
Thanks for your response! I do think that such discussions help one keep an open mind. For me, I often find myself being suprised at the variety of opinions out there, but also at the variety of people who share my opinion on some things. When I was younger I thought certain "sets" of opinions on things always went together. You know, this person is conservative or liberal, tolerant or intolerant, all people of this religion believe this way on an issue, and so on. It's been a lovely and surprising discovery for me that this is far from the case. Each person is an individual, it's amazing to experience the variety of opinions that are out there. (Sorry, I rambled a little.) Anyway, I doubt I'm likely to start that many posts, but I'd check them out if you did it. =p
• United States
27 Feb 07
Ok, so I've started a few discussions on extremely controversial topics. Come by and check 'em out, and if you have any ideas, please be sure and let me know!
1 person likes this
• United States
18 Feb 07
I think the anonymity of the whole situation makes it easier for people to open up more and admit things and/or tell their TRUE opinions. I know that is how it is for me. I may know my friends on here as "online friends", but I don't face them...I don't really "know" them. ya know? it's easier for me to oepn up and ask questions, admit my true beliefs and feelings without feeling judged or disliked. And, if someone here does dislike me, then it's ok. They aren't my family or friends that i see every day. It's just so open and easy to get others opinions.
2 people like this
@lecanis (16664)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
18 Feb 07
Thanks for your response! It does seem a lot easier to take criticism online, from people you aren't that close to, so I could see that definitely being a reason for it.
1 person likes this
@coolcatzz (1587)
• Canada
18 Feb 07
I don't know I guess I'm willing to tackle any subject that interests me plus the fact that the money is in quality discussions. I won't answer these garbage one line posts that ask a stupid question. I like to discuss timely issues and see what other people perspective is.
@lecanis (16664)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
18 Feb 07
Thanks for your response! You know, I hadn't thought about the money part of it in relation to this issue. However, most of the "quality discussions" I have seen have tackled some pretty serious issues. I wonder if that's part of it. Thanks!
1 person likes this
@emarie (5451)
• United States
19 Feb 07
voicing your own opinion to others, getting involved in debates. some people just like it. serious discussions are something people feel strongly about such as religion. when you have passion you get involved no matter what. i think thats the reason most people take park in these type of discussions including myself.
2 people like this
@Denmarkguy (1845)
• United States
19 Feb 07
First, a question: Do you happen to be an introvert? I ask because it's pretty normal for introverts to express their "shadow" extraversion in writing, and on the Internet. Many introverts I know (and I'm one, too, btw) have a LOT to say, about a LOT of topics, when it's in writing. Most extraverts I know-- who can talk my ear off about 100 subjects when face-to-face-- struggle to write a five sentence email. And that's not meant as a "judgment," merely a fact. Or at least an observation. For me it's very simple. I enjoy the interaction, and the variety of topics. In "real" life, I belong to an organization called Conversation Café ( www.conversationcafe.org ) and in some ways it is VERY much like a face-to-face myLot. We've taken on topics ranging from polygamy to stress. My point is, people don't talk much. Yeah, OK, they "talk;" about Britney Spears' shaved head, Anna Nicole Smith, the weather, the sports scores... but they don't really TALK.. about "the stuff of life." Maybe it's that "hole" the serious myLot discussion fills for you, and me, and other participants.
1 person likes this
@lecanis (16664)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
19 Feb 07
Thanks for your response! I often get accused of being an extrovert, because I do "chatter" sometimes. However, I'm actually a sociophobe, and my chatter is because I'm very nervous in social situations. So your comments here would definitely apply to me. You make a very good point about what people talk about everyday. Most people do an awful lot of small talk, and not too much talk on the big subjects. I think it can be largely because of being in situations where they are afraid to offend people, for example at work, or among casual friends whose opinions and beliefs you don't know much about. Talking online can definitely fill that void though.
1 person likes this
• United States
23 Mar 07
Thanks for the best response! As a continuation of this topic... I was thinking about the friends I have made over the past decade, and realized that 90% of the really "deep" friends I have made I initially "met" online, in some kind of discussion group or common interest forum. People just seem to "open up" to issues with more "meat" on them, when it is on the web.
• United States
19 Feb 07
I think/hope what motivates me to take part in the serious discussions is the desire to offer help, understand, my life experience, and insight. I don't have all the answers but if I can provide someone with a piece of the puzzle they don't already have or point them in a direction they having thought about then I want to do that. Sometimes people have no where else to go for help so if I can offer it I will. I know what its like to reach out for help/advice and receive nothing but silence.
1 person likes this
@lecanis (16664)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
19 Feb 07
You have a very good point. Oftentimes people don't have a place to go for help, and if you can offer it (even online) it's a wonderful thing. I've been there too... reaching out for help and getting none. It's not a nice place to be. I suppose if we can keep one person from having that experience, then it's worth all the talking in the world, eh?
• United States
19 Feb 07
Yes it is :)
1 person likes this
@rusty2rusty (6765)
• Defiance, Ohio
3 Mar 07
I like to talk about serious subjects. It doesn't matter who it is with. Doe sit really matter? As long as someone likes to discuss issues like that, that is all that really matters. IF we didn't want to. We wouldn't do it. Besides I am stuck at home iwth kids all day and night..I would like some intelligent conversations in awhile. Some days discussions like this is as good as it gets.
1 person likes this
@lecanis (16664)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
3 Mar 07
Haha, I can understand the wish for intelligent conversation when you spend all your time with kids. I had the flu and was off work for a week, and spent way too much time with someone who knows exactly four words. I was about ready to go batty. I can't imagine how people do it all the time. You have my profound respect.
@KrisNY (7591)
• United States
19 Feb 07
I like to respond to serious discussions because I like to see how others are dealing with the situation. Also I like to see how people are different-- Countries are different and handle things differently. I find it pretty interesting to respond and see how others respond. You learn something new everyday! If a topic interests me at the moment I'll respond-- I don't tend to stay away from any sort of topic... But it has to interest me. good question!
@lecanis (16664)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
19 Feb 07
Thanks for your response! I love learning about other people and cultures as well. =)
@Surfbay (235)
19 Feb 07
I would never never discuss Cross Country Whistling here under any circumstances. Under no circumstanes . . . never never never
1 person likes this
@lecanis (16664)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
19 Feb 07
haha... nor would I! Thanks for sharing!
@Rozie37 (15499)
• Turkmenistan
27 Feb 07
For me, this has been like group therapy. It allows me to talk about things and get feedback from people that have no personal stake in what I am discussing. These people can not see me and we will probably never see each other. However, there are some things that you obviously would not share on here or maybe not with anyone. Some things are too personal even for complete strangers. Say for instance if you talked about a crime you had committed, it could always be traced to you. Or anything else that could come back and haunt you later in live.
1 person likes this
• United States
19 Feb 07
I think it's easier to discuss things certain serious issues, because you know about them. And health, parenting, religion is stuff people disscusss in everyday life. What's wrong with a forum?
1 person likes this
@Mamaof2 (574)
• Canada
19 Feb 07
If I feel like I can contribute anything vaulable to a discussion (what ever the topic may be) I try and do so. I think the whole thought about not actually knowing who someone is on here is appealing to discuss serious topics. You spill your heart out, people respond with their thoughts and opinions, possibly give you some good advice and you carry on. Those of us who read these discussions contribute to it if they feel they have anything vaulable to say..and carry on.
1 person likes this
@robi_717 (74)
• United States
19 Feb 07
I am glad you have found interactive interesting responses. I am looking for just that. I will try l;ooking in some of the categories you have named. Thanks.
1 person likes this
@dip_cool (411)
• India
19 Feb 07
i believe not all people are here for the sole purpose of earning money.mylot is a great platform to share views and also seek help on various subjects like personal,medical etc.with such a vast number of members the chances of finding someone with the correct answer or experience is good.as for myself if i see any serious discussion i only answer when i geniunely have something to say or comment on it.
1 person likes this
@akiraz (265)
• United States
19 Feb 07
i don't know i just wanted to get in their private lives
1 person likes this
@Jennifer21 (2476)
• United States
19 Feb 07
I think one of the big reasons people talk about such personal and serious discussions is because they need to talk to someone and they don't want to get judged. Although they probably are getting judged by some people, they won't have to face the people. It's easier to get some imput back without seeing someone's face. Maybe they are too ashamed to speak with someone in their life so they want an opinion from someone who may have been in the same position and not have to face humiliation or discrimination.
1 person likes this
@happymommy3 (2013)
• United States
19 Feb 07
It's surprised me how open people are here on mylot. I think it's a good thing though for some to talk about things like this. Maybe it will help alot of people who can't talk to close family members or close friends, or for others who are in the same situation not to feel alone. I personally don't like to talk about my personal life on here but if I see someone talking about something I'm going through I like to respond and tell them it's okay or even ask for advice. It's surprising to me too how nice people can be on here to you and how mean and hateful people can be too when you talk about personal things.
1 person likes this
• United States
19 Feb 07
I think that, with with certain subjects, it can be easier to discuss them in a forum where you don't know anyone. The thought being that if there is judgement, the people dishing it probably don't know your real identity. This goes right along with the reports that people aren't truthful with their doctors, their spouses (when it comes to telling them something bothers you) and their children. I peraonlly would be willing to discuss ALMOST anything on here.
1 person likes this
@newtopwin (103)
• China
19 Feb 07
i think mylot is a great website for all of us discuss everything. especially for me,as english is my second language,i think i can improve my english greatly here by discuss widely topic here.
1 person likes this