opinions on husband situation

United States
February 18, 2007 5:51pm CST
well, my husband and I have been together for approx. 3 years and have one two year old son. he has an unruptured brain aneurysm and could fix it through a coiling procedure where they go through the artery in his groin all the way up through his heart and to his brain. the risks include death, paralyzation, loss of sight and motor skills, and much more. However, should he not get it then one day it could rupture out of no where while he is driving in the car with our son or just doing whatever at home by himself and no one finds him until it is too late and he is dead. he has had it for four years and it hasnt grown at all. we are debating on if and when we should get the procedure done... his mother is very much in favor of it. What should we do?
6 people like this
35 responses
@KwokFist (73)
• India
19 Feb 07
Its really saddening to know about your husband and it must be a really hard time for you. I sincerely hope that things get better for you, him and your family. In my opinion i guess he should under go the procedure if its safe and if the doctors can gaurantee success then i see why he shouldnt undergo it and come out as a healthier person.
1 person likes this
• United States
18 Feb 07
wow that's a tough one! Why do they have to go through the groin up? Can they not access it through a burr hole right into the skull? No matter which way they do it there are risks indeed. How big is it? What is the risk now of it rupturing? I mean is it near the rupture point? or still small? You said it was not growing? I think I would keep an active eye on it with regular checkups and wait it out - wait to see if it starts to grow or not. I know the risks of it rupturing, but it sounds like it is stable right now. How did they find it? Does it cause problems now? Sorry for all the questions, but it's hard to answer without knowing more info. Best of luck to you and your family.
@funnysis (2619)
• United States
19 Feb 07
That procedure is very dangerious and to go through the groin is a very small incision and a little like wire thing they use to do agioplasties so it makes for quick healing and less dangerous.
• United States
19 Feb 07
well going through the groin is the safest, going through the head is way more invasive and far less precise. It is about between 3-4 millimeters. He has had it for four years and it has never grown actually went down by .3 of a mm. They found it because he had HORRIBLE headaches like nothing in this world. So they did an MRI. The only problems is causes are the horrible headaches but he may still have those after as well because they dont get rid of it they cant, they just prevent blood from going in or out of it. Also, lots of people who get the procedure done have serious depression and other problems, like side effects... Thank you everyone for your kind words. We are leaning towards getting the procedure done at some point. We arent sure when.
• United States
19 Feb 07
This would be a hard situation to deal with! I'm so sorry you have to. Personally, I would get it done ASAP just for the fact that any day could be his last. Even though it hasn't grown in 4 years, things can happen unexpectedly.
• United States
20 Feb 07
you are wright about it my son had a colse frend that dide from on when he wae sdeven year old bekouse they did not know that ne had one so you know get it fixet
• Australia
19 Feb 07
To be honest with you its great to get advice and all but in the end its you and your husbands decision. i have a son who needed a scull reconstruction as his fontonell (front of the scull) closed up when he was 4 months old and when it closed the 2 pieces overlapped eachother and it was at a point like the top of a triangle. He did not need the operation as when the brain grows so will the rest of the bones of the scull. But the doctors said it is our best interest to get it done as when he grows older it would be very noticeable. Its a major opperation and should of gone for 4-6 hours but went for 3 1/2 hrs. The cons of the opperation was too much blood loss and he would die, His body may reject the blood they put in, accidently slicing open the main part of the brain and lose sight, forget what his learnt so far as far as rolling over and speach. There were millions of risks involved and he survived it all and is fine and helthy. The sadest part was seeing him after the opperation with his head all bandaged up and eyes so swallen he couldnt open them, and then him trying to cry but could'nt it was too much for me and my partner to handle i didnt want to leave him but i had to. Seeing him in soo much pain it broke my heart. But as i was saying he is fine healthy and the third day when he could slightly open his eyes and see he grinned from ear to ear at us. Back to you if you think that there is a chance of him crashing in the car or it rupturing in the next couple of months then i would get it done if i were in your shoes but if you feel that it wont then just take it easy and decide in the next couple of months. This is what i feel anyway. Its is all up to you and your husband though in the end.
• United States
19 Feb 07
wow i dont even know what i would do if that were the case with my son. our niece has aperts and while i wasnt with my husband when she was an infant and went through her surgeries, it tears me up just thinking about the ones she will have later this year. Im so glad he was okay. Thanks.
• United States
19 Feb 07
My father just got out of the hospital last month for an aneurysm. He had a cold and was coughing real bad. When they gave him an mri for his back because of the pain, they found the aneurysm. The doctors said it could rupture at any time, or a chance that it might not rupture. They also told him because of his age (62) he might not make it thru surgery. But my dad decided to go thru with the surgery, and is doing great. He was scared, but he went ahead anyhow. So good luck, I think this is a decision your husband will have to make for himself. I think you can just tell him your point of view, and then he has to decide himself.
• United States
19 Feb 07
thanks. i hope if we do he would make it through the surgery but it is hard to know what to do. i just think of my son and how it would be so hard for him to go on without his father. we broke up for two months once and he cried every single night until we were back together for his daddy.
@stateroad (731)
• United States
19 Feb 07
I am so sorry this is happening to You and Your Family. Please accept my prayers and good wishes as you all go through this together. I would have to take the surgery. Not doing anything is more risky. At least with the surgery he has the chance to lead a normal life after he recovers. All surgeries are a risk and scarey some more then others. The best thing is to sit down and talk to your husband about the pros and cons about doing th Surgery vs not doing it.
• United States
19 Feb 07
Thank you everyone. We are still deciding, and your thoughts have helped. he is overweight so that presents a risk in recovery but other than that the doctors have found him to be a good candidate for coiling. they said they would like to see him take care of it at some point but didnt place huge emphasis on it, probably because it has been stable for so long. He is one of the best neurosurgery consultants near Boston.
@cher913 (25893)
• Canada
21 Feb 07
Wow, what a choice! My heart goes out to you and my prayers will definitely be with you as well!
@bigedshult1 (1613)
• United States
19 Feb 07
get it don wright now you are playing with fire by not geting it don as fart as you can do you want to be an widow with a little kid and have him grow up with out a dad
• United States
19 Feb 07
In my opinion, I think the surgery should be done. Whenever I have a problem, I would always tackle it by cutting it from its root or cause, so that there would be more damage control or less problems that could be further created. Thus, before any more damage is done by putting others in danger (like your son) because of the situation, it's best to get the surgery done. Good thing it's an elective procedure and I would assume that the entry through the groin is less risky than having to go direct to the brain itself. I wish you all the best. Hope everything turns out fine.
• United States
19 Feb 07
Oh My God! I certainly would suggest doing it if there is a risk of your child getting hurt in a car accident. I wish you guys the best of luck!
@Jellen (1852)
• United States
19 Feb 07
It needs to be his choice. If it were anyone else's and something went wrong, guilt would follow the person the rest of their lives.
19 Feb 07
Looking at your story I would deffinatly say have the surgery, at least it gives him a fighting chance. We are going through simular with my brother only 39 yrs of age fighting a brain tumour. I can understand how agonising things must be for you at this time. We wil be praying for a miracle here for you and your family Lynn-Marie
@thebeing (657)
• Romania
19 Feb 07
first of all, i am sorry for what happened to your husband (*HUG*). My opinion is that he should get the operation done. I know it involves RISKS, but, by not doing so, he will surely get worse and...eventually, u know. So, what would you choose? A posibility? Or certitude? Besides, you should consider that (and i know it sounds macabre, but it's rational, too), if the operation fails (God forbid!), then, he would be the only victim, but, if things would be like you said (he driving with your son and boom!), then, it's ever worse. Anyway, i hope he gets better! And, please, DO NOT BE SAD ABOUT THIS! SUPPORT HIM WITH YOUR HEART, SOUL AND BODY CONSTANTLY! THAT MEANS A LOT! i wish you all the best!
@maxim04 (20)
• Philippines
19 Feb 07
sorry to hear about that sarah.. the procedure is risky..that's not the safest thing to do but maybe for now, its the best solution for it.. unruptured aneurysm is a silent killer too,, we wouldnt know when wil it hapen.. if u wudnt go for the procedure now, ull be under a dark cloud everyday that ur husband's aneurysm wil rupture anytime. it would just bother u everyday... and if he undergo the procedure, yes, u have faced the risk of him being paralyzed, and all. do what u think what is best for him.. God loves us.. if HE brought you to it, HE will brng you Through it.. have faith ms. sarah! :)
@KrisNY (7593)
• United States
19 Feb 07
I'm terribly sorry for you and your family. I would say that I most definately would have the procedure done. But I can't say that if it was me or my husband that I would say the same thing if faced with the situation. This is you and your husbands decision to make. It is a very hard one to make. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.
@icequeen (2843)
• Canada
19 Feb 07
I would tell you to do it. Yes..there could be complications..but really what other choice is there? You don't want something terrible to happen and it just burst out of no where like you said..that could be horrible. At least this way they can go in and fix the problem and hopefully things will be fine...good luck..and best wishes to your husband...I am sure things will work out fine.
• United States
19 Feb 07
I am very sad to hear your sorrow. I how ever can't say one way or the other. I can say what I would do,but it won't matter. I would most defenetly need to be in your shoes. For me I would do what was in the best interest of the child. However I am not in this position. My daughter was hit by a car in front of me. I was sure going to kill myself if she had not lifted up her head. But, who would say this not in my shoes. Watching her in so much pain and hospitalized for 4 weeks. I had to chose a 6 week body cast or,pins in her legs. This was tough but I had to choose. Please know I'll be praying for your son. I can only hope the father is not thinking of the boys man parts. But his future in the coming years. Your mother is on the right side of the board. Good luck. :)
• China
19 Feb 07
I am so very sorry to hear that this has happened to him . I wish you luck in your choice .
• United States
19 Feb 07
Make sure you check the surgeon's track record before the procedure is done. For my kids, I'd risk it because I would not want them to be hurt.
@nishdan01 (3055)
• Singapore
19 Feb 07
Because symptoms often do not appear until bleeding occurs, a ruptured cerebral aneurysm is an emergency condition when it is discovered. The goal of treatment is to control symptoms and prevent further bleeding. Lowering blood pressure can reduce the risk of further bleeding. Neurosurgery is the primary treatment for cerebral/brain aneurysm. The base of the aneurysm is closed off with camps, sutures, or other methods that prevent blood flow through the aneurysm. In many cases, special coils can be placed into the aneurysm through the arteries. This causes a clot to form in the aneurysm and prevents further bleeding. This is considered a less invasive approach than brain surgery, and in the appropriate circumstances, it is regarded as the best form of treatment. If surgery is not feasible because of the location or size of the aneurysm or the condition of the person, medical treatment is similar to treatment for subarachnoid haemorrhage. This may include restricting activity (often complete bedrest is advised), treating symptoms such as headache, controlling blood pressure, and prescribing preventive use of antiseizure medications. Once the aneurysm is repaired, prevention of stroke due to blood vessel spasm due to irritation by degrading blood products on arteries may be necessary. This may include intravenous fluids, certain medications, and actually letting one's blood pressure run high. The outcome varies. The best indicator for prognosis is the patient's status after the aneurysm ruptures. Patients who are deeply comatose after an aneurysm rupture generally do not do as well as those with minimal symptoms. A cerebral aneurysm that does not rupture may not cause any symptoms. If one is discovered which has not ruptured, treatment must be considered carefully. The risks related to brain surgery are high and attempting to prevent the aneurysm from rupturing by operating on it may actually cause rupture and all the potential problems that can result. However, about 25% of ruptured cerebral aneurysms are fatal within 24 hours. Approximately another 25% are fatal within about 3 months. Of the remaining people with ruptured cerebral aneurysm, more than one-half will have some sort of permanent disability.