Why can't anybody take criticism?

United States
February 18, 2007 7:16pm CST
Someone tell me what a discussion is. Apparently I have the wrong idea. I thought you were suppose to state an opinion and let everyone else give their opinion on your opinion. So why is it that when I try to state my opinion people call me mean. I am most definently not a mean person so why can't anyone take criticism? It's not like i'm trying to put them down i'm just trying to make a point. I'm almost through with this site because it's so pointless and unfair. I shouldn't get kicked off for sharing my opinion so if I do I want mylot to know that they can go to hell because America is about freedom. I have the Freedom of speech and since i'm a pussie in person and cannot contradict anyone to their face I like to write out my feelings. I thought this site would help me but obviouslly not. Sorry for the rant.
13 people like this
42 responses
@APMorison (424)
• United States
19 Feb 07
I went an had a look at some of your previous discussion topics. One goes on a bit rough shod about ignorant people and not passing certain grade levels then brings up spelling and grammar. In another topic you misspell the name of a bacteria. Perhaps a bit of moderation in point fingers too harshly is the best way to go. Some of the people here, while I too have difficulty reading their posts, are not Native English speakers so their grammar and spelling are not necessarily great. Another problem is that some have gotten so sadly used to using Text Message Abbreviations that they can't seem to write any other way any more. Lastly, this is a completely open forum for anyone who is a member to comment on. You will get your smarties and your duds. Its the nature of the beast. It is also something you will be dealing with the rest of your adult life, at work, recreation, etc. best learn coping skills this way. You'll need them face to face eventually.
5 people like this
@prasad1961 (5603)
• India
19 Feb 07
What ever the criticism you make, it should be reasonable with facts and proof, other wise it will be unfair to comment that you have no knowledge about the discussion/topic/article. Before you criticizing one or on a theory, the basic need is to have authoritative knowledge about it. Otherwise there is no value for criticism and you'll be earmarked as born for criticize everyone or every thing.
• United States
19 Feb 07
I see what you're saying but my problem is that I do use proof and i'm very fair about what I say. I just wish people would stop judging me because i'm an 18 year old female. It's very unfair. I'm in my second year at college which half the poeple on here can't even say that much about themselves yet they seem to think I don't know what i'm talking about. It's frustrating. Thanks for your insite though.
1 person likes this
@Ciniful (1589)
• Canada
19 Feb 07
Your age has little to do with it, so please don't use the age card. (meaning assuming that everyone is after you because you're young). I've seen insightful posts from 14 year olds, and gibberish from people above 50. Age is irrelevant. Most don't even check your profile when reading your posts, so unless you're including your age in every reply you make, they aren't aware of your age at all. As for the reason behind your rant, I'm not sure why you'd worry about it really. It's only a website. I state my opinion, fairly and honestly. If some don't like it, not my problem. I don't set out to tick people off, but some take it that way regardless. It doesn't bother me, and I'm not sure why you let it bother you. Post your opinion and be satisfied with the fact that you're being genuine and honest, instead of being like so many that just blindly nod and smile and agree with every post to get their ratings higher.
2 people like this
@greengal (4288)
• United States
19 Feb 07
I know what you mean Giggles, some just don't care for a 'discussion' per se here. A few think they are right always and don't want to know what others think on the topic. You've just started don't give up. Stick to your views and you have every right to oppose or favour something. Don't let the ones that don't agree bother you. But I must warn you, don't cause a stir, it might result in more negative ratings. At the same time don't stop mylotting! Good day!:)
3 people like this
@emeraldisle (13146)
• United States
19 Feb 07
A great deal depends on how you give the critism or opinion. If you do it by calling posters names or belittling them then yes people are going to think you are mean. Sharing your opinion about the discussion is fine and dandy, yes you will have people who disagree and that is their right just as it is your right to have your own opinion. Debate issues all you want, that is what this place is for. It's just not a place to mock others. I can disagree with someone all I want but I don't have to try and belittle them.
2 people like this
• United States
19 Feb 07
Thank you i've been trying to make that point all night. At least someone thinks the same.
• United States
19 Feb 07
I don't care if people think I am mean either in here or in life. You shouldn't care either. Vent by writing. Learn to not give a rip about what most of these people say about you. Who cares? You don't know anyone here. They don't know you. Stop being so soft. Toughen up. It's ok to belittle. Everyone wants to play nice but that's not life. Maybe reading writing and venting will help you in shucking the fear of opinions.
1 person likes this
• United States
19 Feb 07
Sweetie, opinions are different than feelings. Your post tells me that you are probably very young and idealistic, and that, although not a problem, is the main reason that many people believe that the two- opinion and feelings- often get mixed. Pointless and unfair...ahh, shades of an Artemis Archetype...welcome to the fold, doll. You might very well be mean, and yes, it is your American Right to freely express an opinion. However, it is also prudent and probably something you may want to practice - being nicer, all while being catty little you - and it will happen, it just takes practice. If there is anyone who knows the beautiful gratification of being able to state one's own opinion and not give a damn about how whoever feels about it, it is me. However, if what you say is true- that people think you are mean because you are opinionated- then it is time to start thinking about your replies. Thought counts, doll, and the more you think about your responses, the less you will react to the differences of opinion here. Just a thought, hon
2 people like this
@grzdingz (187)
• Philippines
19 Feb 07
yes i agree with you..we all have the freedom of speech and since we joined here in this site with the purpose of generating ideas,responding with the issues raised and have comments on it, we do have to accept criticisms because this will not feel us down but more on uplifting us and encouraging us to do better, and learned from it. yes,we cant deny that there some members here that are closely minded and are not open to realities in life.this is what it is..so be open, someday this will help you gain confidence then....this is a one way wherein we can be open as we want to be and let everybody know what we feel about the issues? i think the purpose is not hitting the other side but just giving ideas on what he or she really believe....
2 people like this
• United States
19 Feb 07
You've gotten some excellent responses. Still, we have to face the fact that a lot of people really don't know the difference between a discussion and an argument. If you disagree with them, they consider it a criticism, and then the argument goes into full swing. I've learned to pretty much keep my opinions to myself until I know the people better. But on a site like this, it's impossible to avoid ticking off somebody sometime because people will butt into discussions on topics that they don't know anything about.
2 people like this
• Thailand
19 Feb 07
Some people are naturally thin skinned and react to criticism as if it were a personal attack. Don't let them get to you and never feel that you must refrain from the truth for fear of hurting someones feelings. If your criticism is based on fact and is not a personal attack you have right on your side.
2 people like this
@classy56 (2883)
• United States
19 Feb 07
wow,someone must have made you mad.. i can take criticism good or bad.im not a person that get offended very easily..i agree with you .you should be able to say what you want.an if your opinion makes someone mad they can get over it.theres no reason for you to quit mylot because someone dont agree with you.i dont think anyone will kick you off of mylot for criticism.mylot is a good site so dont let someone run you off.
1 person likes this
• United States
19 Feb 07
Thank you do much. You might be the only reason I don't give up. Thank you for being open minded. I'll definently be reading your posts since I know you're senseable (sorry if I spelled that wrong)
1 person likes this
• United States
19 Feb 07
I have just finished reading on of your dicussion topics where you say there are so many morons here who can't spell or have not gone past 2nd grade. Be careful that of your own discussion do not come back to bite you.
1 person likes this
• United States
19 Feb 07
Giggle, giggle!
1 person likes this
• United States
19 Feb 07
Criticism usually doesn't involve name calling and insults. On one discussion, I believe you called everyone who responded to it "stupid and pathetic". In fact, you started out your response that way. You did go on, later, and give a valid point, but all everyone saw was that you called them names, so no one was willing to listen.
1 person likes this
• United States
20 Feb 07
I hope you're not another one of that guys friends cause this is really starting to piss me off. When I said that (Like i've said almost 50 times) I was meaning it towards the subject of the discussion. That guy had no right in discussing something like that in the first place.
• United States
21 Feb 07
Yes, I am a friend of his. I don't always agree with him or what he posts all the time, either. But, some of the other things he posts are pretty funny and fun to read. And, he always acknowledges everyone whether he agrees with them or not. I'm just pointing out that the first sentence in your post was all anyone noticed because of the wording. I saw the point you were trying to make and I would have liked to address it. But, there was such a rage going on that I thought I'd better not get too involved.
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Feb 07
I understand. After venting for a while I did start to see how everyone thought I was being harsh. I didn't mean to word it that way. I know from now on i'll be more carefull on how I word things expecially when i'm disagreeing with someone. Thanks for not being nasty with me and being reasonable. Hopefully Jimbo will forgive me now that everythings has calmed down a bit.
1 person likes this
@XxAngelxX (2833)
• Canada
19 Feb 07
I don't think you should quit simply because some people are unable to accept constructive criticism. There are a few people here who believe they are right no matter what and I'm not even sure why they bother to start a discussion because as far as they are concerned they have their minds made up and nothing is going to change it. However, I for one love to see a great discussion that actually changes my opinion on something. You're right, we have freedom of speech and so long as you're not deliberately poking fun at someone, have at it! And don't let someone else get you upset because they can't be a little open minded.
1 person likes this
• United States
19 Feb 07
:)
• United States
19 Feb 07
Don't be so quick to quit. When I first started I took everything personally now not unless someone is really rude do I take action and that by reporting them. Just keep in mind that with such a large population there are a lot of petty, mean and jealous people. Just be yourself and post your opinion as that is what we are here for, you'll be surprised when you get your star your reputation will show that you're a good myLot member.
1 person likes this
• United States
19 Feb 07
Thank you so much. You guys are really proving to me that it isn't worth quiting. At least I know there are good people on this site. Thanks again.
1 person likes this
@Marie2473 (8521)
• Sweden
19 Feb 07
I do belive that constuctive critisism is ok (sorry if that is the wrong word ) but to critisise someone just for the sake of it is not ok: I do not know wich discussion u are talking about or what u said, but i have know some people here to be very touchy, especially when it comes to religion and other serious stuff.
1 person likes this
@icequeen (2843)
• Canada
19 Feb 07
Sorry you are having problems. I hope that you may reconsider your decision to quit the site. I think that you have a point, however I don't know what was posted so I can't really comment. I hope you feel better and that things work out..good luck.
1 person likes this
@mrcong (152)
• Singapore
19 Feb 07
you know what? this is the same thing in everywhere, whether in forums or any other community. But just learn this.. always have this in mind. I know what I am talking, so who cares what other people feels.
1 person likes this
• United States
19 Feb 07
Don't worry about it. You aren't a mean person, just sometimes what people say can rub you the wrong way and whether your reaction is harsh or not, they have no right to attack you. And I'm sure mylot cannot censor discussions because people disagree, I'm sure there are a lot of discussions in which people get into arguments.
1 person likes this
• United States
19 Feb 07
I feel like that sometimes...I started a discussion similar to this one...MYLOT is for different Opinions...just because you don't agree with the whole world does not mean you are a bad or dumb person. Some people like to go off on things they believe strongly about and when they respond to your response in a negative way that's where they make the mistake....I'm not the type of woman to sit in front of the computer all day like most of the women on here...I don't have any friends because I simply don't choose to...and I also believe that having the whole 'friend' system is DUMB! Some WOMEN on here that spend their WHOLE day on here because they think it's like a real 9-5 job which it's NOT....just respond to discussions started by their friends.....Everyone should respond to EVERYONE's discussions....just like I do.....
1 person likes this
@Transformed (1262)
• United States
19 Feb 07
Sometimes people have to be gentler in terms of their criticisms, but I think it's because society has morphed into an "anything goes, I'll do whatever I want" type of feel.
1 person likes this
@mamashane (1140)
• United States
19 Feb 07
First of all, I think that before anyone responds to this topic they should go and read the responses you have left on other people's discussions. You have been mean. Name calling is mean and immature. You responded to one particular post about "paying for it" by saying that anyone who reads that posters discussions is just as stupid and pathetic as the poster who started the discussion. How can you start this discussion and say that you are not trying to put anyone down when you have clearly put people down? You then go on to that posters other discussion about what you had said in his previous discussion and belittle him for starting a discussion about your response and trying to get his online friends to gang up on you but here you are with your own discussion on the same exact topic! That's wrong. You are quick to put people down for their opinions but you get upset when someone doesn't agree with you or when people get on your case becuase YOU were calling THEM names. Also, I see that your response to that post has been removed so that in itself says something about what you said in your post and if you were right or wrong. If you can't take the criticism then don't post. If you don't like the subject of a discussion then don't reply. Like you said, America is all about freedom & freedom of speech and everyone has just as much right as you to state their opinions. You are not the first one on this forum to take heat for what you've said. The best thing for you to do is stop having a fit and be mature about what you say. Now, on your topic of stupid people, the post that you made that people should learn how to spell. What do you care? A person can be absolutely brilliant and still mispell a word or make a typo. I've seen you mispell words in your own posts so again, you have no room to talk & if I've mispelled anything in this post you can call me stupid all you want, I sincearly don't care.
• United States
20 Feb 07
Ok this problem was solved and I did not call anybody stupid or pathetic I was calling the topic stupid and pathetic because it was the truth. I hope you know that just because someone tells you something doesn't mean it's true. I know you're friends with that jerk Jimbo. Just go find something better to do then harass people that didn't do anything wrong in the first place. This comment had nothing to do with this discussion and was completely uncalled for. Goodbye.
@mamashane (1140)
• United States
20 Feb 07
This comment had everything to do with this discussion. You started this topic because people gave you heat for what you said. You called people stupid. I'm responding to your topic, that's what we do here on mylot. Your opinion of Jimbo or that fact that he is a friend of mine has nothing to do with the fact that you called people names and then started this discussion and outright lied and said that you did not call anyone names. I'm simply pointing out that you lied. It wasn't just Jimbo's discussion either, it was the discussion you started about people being stupid for mispelling words. That's wrong. You can't go ranting and then expect no one to say anything. You say that people can't take criticism but it is you that clearly can't handle it.
@cdparazo (5768)
• Philippines
19 Feb 07
I hope you don't really mean that your done with this site since i would still like to read your discussions and know your thoughts. Don't let it affect you that much and keep cool!
• United States
20 Feb 07
Don't worry. I'm not going anywhere. Mylot solved the problem I was having so i'm happy now. Hopefully i'll start to get more time on here so I can actually go read your discussions since you're nice enough to read mine :)
@ukchriss (2103)
22 Feb 07
Yes they removed your post because you were insulting someone