my boyfriend always tells me what to do

United States
February 19, 2007 3:00am CST
like when to go to bed, get off of the computer, don't go on myspace, don't talk on msn... It feels like he is my father and it is getting on my nerves... Is this an unheathy relationship or normal
4 people like this
9 responses
• United States
19 Feb 07
Sounds to me like your boyfriend is a little too much controlling. And no that is not healthy in a relationship. You have the right to make your own choices and he shouldn't be telling you what to do all of the time. I seriously doubt that your boyfriend will ever change. He'll want to always be incontrol of everything. I just hope things don't get worse. Pretty soon it will turn into what you can wear, where you can go, and who you can talk to . i was in a relationship like this a while back ago. I had to breakup with him, because it just got worse.
@Limey73 (161)
• Canada
19 Feb 07
You are an individual in your own right, and as such are entitled to make your own decisions - seems to me that by trying to boss you around like this, and control you, is not the basis for a good relationship as it stands. Maybe he doesn't realise what he's doing, and needs to be made aware, so that next time he'll stop and think before ordering you about. Remind him that relationship is a two-way street, and you are not in it just for his convenience. Good luck!
• United States
19 Feb 07
No, this is not normal. He is your boyfriend, not your Father! He is controling you in an abusive manner. This is one of the warning signs of an abuser. Be very cautious for other warning signs. If you see more abusive signs showing up, get out of this relationship. No man should ever control his girlfriend or wife. Relastionships are a give and take, with ebbs and tides. Think about it, you are a grown woman, do you need someone telling you where you can and cannot go on the internet or for that matter what time to go to bed. Please! Tell this man you are capable of making decisions and to get off your back.
• Philippines
19 Feb 07
you think he's annoying, dont you? i think you need to give him a good talk about his attitude because this is never healthy in a relationship. if you truly love & care for each other, you have to trust each other & he has too trust you. show him some assurance too.
@rsa101 (13336)
• Philippines
19 Feb 07
I guess its a matter of telling him that you don't like the way he treats you. I think talking about it would make things a little bit lighter and easier to both of you. If he still continues to do the same then maybe its just time to end things, that is if you can afford to dump him.
• Philippines
19 Feb 07
I think in every relationship, one has to be dominant. But in your situation, its actually not right for your boyfriend to tell you what to do, your not a robot that should be commanded. You may be in a reltionship, but its doesnt mean that you have to follow everything he wants. If this things continue, you might get tired of being his follower. SO i guess the best thing you need to do is to confront him and tell him that you dont like what hes doing and he needs to stop. just be open to him about how you feel, maybe he thinks that what hes telling you to do is just ok for you. just speak up.
@cheerldr (594)
• Philippines
19 Feb 07
It's normal when our boyfriend restricts us from other things that he doesn't want us to do. But everything has its limit. Tell your boyfriend has he has nothing to worry about and make him feel that there really isn't. Compromise is the key.
@cheenlly (3484)
• Philippines
19 Feb 07
i think your boyfriend is a very dominant type of person and perhaps a very insecure one. well it is part of the relationship, if you dont like something on his attitude you should be open to him so that he will realize and change. talk to him about it nicely.it just an adjustment and knowing the others good and bad side and if true love is really there on th relationship i think everything will be settle.
• China
19 Feb 07
Men wants to be dominant in a relationship. They always want that what they say should be followed. Why not tell him what you feel about that?Maybe he can understand if you will just explain it to him. You're not a child to be treated like that.