Is it right for parents to snoop?
19 Feb 07
I do not think parents should snoop. I agree with you that you are entitled to some privacy. I think the goal for any parents must be to have a good dialog with their children from the start. If they suspect anything wrong going on they should talk about it with their children. Snooping around will in my opinion only increase the problems. Trust should go both ways in a parent-child relationship. I do however understand that some parents feel the urge to snoop. If they do not have a good tone with their children, and suspect that something foul is going on, i guess it would be tempting to snoop. I think it's no more right to go through your childs belongings than a spouses etc-
• United States
20 Feb 07
I am the parent of 2 teenagers, both good kids. I have taught my children not to mess with things that dont belong to them. I dont snoop in there room or go through there things and heres why...There father and I divorced when they were younger and he has since passed away. He would search there pockets, purses, go through everything in their rooms just looking for things. That made them feel like 2nd class citizens, like they were not trust worthy and it really messed up their relationship. They would not go to him when they had a problem or needed somebody to talk to because they felt like he thought they were bad kids. I have never looked through my kids stuff, even when doing laundry and there is a note in their pocket I wont read it, I lay it aside to give to them. I think that if children feel that you dont trust them anyway they will have no problem breaking the rules because you already expect them to do the wrong thing. With that being said, if I noticed a personality change, behavior that was totally opposite of the norm for them or they started hanging out with the wrong crowd I might look around but not until. How can I expect them to totally respect me and my privacy if I dont respect theirs?
21 Feb 07
I would say that if your kids are open and discuss everything with you then you need to respect their privacy, But if a child is distant, secretive. don't talk and do not allow you into their rooms it means that they are most likely hiding something. and you have no choice but to find out what they are up to, because this type of child can and usually is being led astray.
20 Feb 07
It's all a question about age. I think if you're old enough to have relationships (whatever the relevant law is depending on location), then privacy should definitely be respected. It's a bit embarassing to be questioned about relationships by parents, so personally, I would like a bit of privacy in that respect. Regarding diaries however, I'm not so sure. I wouldn't like someone (even a parent) to look through my stuff without me knowing, but I could understand why under certain circumstances. I don't think 'snooping' is right though - things should be discussed rather than instigating a sense of paranoia within the household.