What would you do and how would you feel...

Philippines
February 19, 2007 7:16pm CST
What would you do and how would you feel if someone tells you that "I'm falling for you and I know it's useless..." I have this friend, she's really a beauty, and actually I'm the one who told her that "I'm falling for her", and I know its useless because she already have someone, and I have mine too... What would she be thinking of me right now, i just would really like to know... Actually I just wanted her to know about my feelings and that's all, and I dont want it to be complicated... I dont want it to go further, or anything... If you were to be told by someone like this, and he/she is really that close to you, what would you say, or react?!!
2 people like this
20 responses
• Philippines
20 Feb 07
i would be grateful then but it somehow made me feel disturb if in case i too have a feeling for you. BUT in situations like these, if i were in your side i wouldn't tell her my feelings because there's a greater chance it would just create walls between your friendship... but it's up to the both of you on how you handle it without hurting each other...
1 person likes this
• Philippines
21 Feb 07
yeah i think i just built a wall for us... but you know what, just this morning she seemed nice to me, i just hope she's still the same person, before i brought that thing up..;)
• Philippines
21 Feb 07
yeah i think i've just built this wall for us... but you know what, just this morning she seemed nice to me... she smiled and grinned, well i dunno... maybe she's just happy... i just do hope she'll be still the same girl that i used to know... ;)
• Philippines
20 Feb 07
if i was the girl, i would be flattered & i would admire your courage of being brave enough to say your true feelings. i will still be a good friend to you because you are worth being one. the way you handle your feelings for another but not take advantage of it shows that you can be a trusted friend.
• United States
20 Feb 07
If your girlfriend had feelings for another man, told him and didn't tell you, would that be ok with you??? I mean she wouldn't be hooking up with him because she said to that person she has someone but she wants him to know that she does have feelings for him. Kinda sounds like a backup plan and misleading your girlfrined with whom you have presently. Treat others as you would like to be treated my friend.
1 person likes this
@pagli84 (1850)
• Netherlands
20 Feb 07
i think it would depend on how i feel for the guy as well. if also liked him, i guess i would be flattered and maybe consider being with him. the situation would be different if i had a boyfriend though, because i wouldnt want to hurt him. but i guess it also depends on which one i have stronger feelings for and would rather be with. however, if i didnt have the same feelings for the guy, i wouldnt really know what to say or how to react to something like that. i dont want to hurt anyone's feelings and i also dont want to lose a good friend, but i also cant be expected to feel the same way. i guess i would just have to tell them that i want to stay friends and only friends.
1 person likes this
@shundiggs (184)
• Nigeria
20 Feb 07
I know the feeling. I have been in the situation a couple of times. You meet a girl that you feel is perfect for you and you find out that she has a man and you probably have a woman. It always brings to mind the song by James Blunt ,"You beautiful"
1 person likes this
@Monkeymia (206)
• Australia
20 Feb 07
Its a sticky situation... I think personally if I was in the situation, I would not have told. Will you be able to now be friends with this out in the open? Will this make your present relationships hard? I think if you were both single (or even just her) it would make it easier. She might now question her relationship even if before she was happy. As hard as it may be, you have to respect her relationship. If she is not happy in her relationship, allow her to leave it for her own reasons not because you have declared your feelings for her. If you are not happy in your relationship, why are you still there? Is it because you know your relationship with your friend will never work? Is this fair on your current partner. Remeber it is not just the 2 of you, there will b 2 innocent partners who will get hurt.
• Canada
20 Feb 07
If someone says that to me, It would make me think of course. But then everything would be awkward between the two of us. This is where friendship will be tested. I hope no one will tell your GF the same thing. I'm sure she has friends herself.
1 person likes this
@howard96h (11658)
• New York, New York
20 Feb 07
That was very disrespectful on your part to say that to her.
• Philippines
20 Feb 07
why would it be disrespectful on my part?!! i didnt get the idea...
@howard96h (11658)
• New York, New York
20 Feb 07
What do you mean you didn't get the idea? you said you were falling for her. I see it's wrong because you know she has someone else and you said so do you. So you should keep those feelings inside to yourself.
• Philippines
20 Feb 07
oh man... if that's what you think... but keeping it is harder, its much better that way that ive told her. at least i have let it out of me... and just like what i've said, all i just want is for her to know, that's all...
• Philippines
20 Feb 07
You are cool and great! What you are doing is good. Atleast you have told her the truth of your emotions. If I am her, I am a girl. Well, I will be flattered. And also thankful because you are honest with your feelings and at the same time you know your limit. You just tell her and keep your partner and you did not disturb her relationship with her partner. Then after that I think she will still be close to you. But I don't know her personality because some women would avoid someone who told them their emotions.
• Philippines
20 Feb 07
Thank you!! Yeah, I've already gotten out of it... At least now, I have nothing to keep... And i do hope she'll still be the same...
1 person likes this
• Indonesia
20 Feb 07
Well, first of aLL... I fell sorry for your gf, because she was pissed off by you. You already have her, than why you still make a confession to other girl? If I'm her, I don't want to be with you. Second, you knew that she already had someone, then you shouldn't make any confession toward her. I mean, what for? Are you planning to break their relationship? Well, if someone close to me say something like that, I will tell it to my bf, and I won't longer my friendship with that friend. Because I don't want something stand in our (my bf & I) relationship.
• Philippines
20 Feb 07
yeah, but anyway... i just thought that she really do deserve to hear that from me, even though its a mistake but then i wouldn't continue to have any relationship with her... all i just want is for her to know that, and i've said it to her that its nothing and useless...
@smints8985 (1595)
• United States
20 Feb 07
I am currently in a position where I am not sure of how I feel about the person myself, and he telling me that leaves me speechless in the sense that of course I am flattered by that but then literally speechless too for I don't know what to tell him... I don't want to say anything until I am sure of it myself and I don't want to mislead him.. But then you have mentioned that both of you have somebody, don't you think that you are being unfaithful to your partner and being a 3rd party in her relationship?
• Philippines
20 Feb 07
no, i really dont want things to go that far, i just want her to know and that is it... do you think its disrespectful to her that i've said that?!! do you think that opening such feelings to the person is a cruelty?
@miryam (6507)
• Italy
20 Feb 07
This is a hard question for me............ In this period would not like nothing. only sleep forget, begin everything again or better disappear, the only thing which keeps me is my dog, would be alone.
• India
20 Feb 07
I think it is a great execution.........
@diexxx (39)
• Bulgaria
20 Feb 07
You could not know her answer in advance! So you had to try.. If's difficult sometimes but sometimes girls/women are very shy and they don't show their feelings. You don't have to feel any shame. This happens every day to someone.
• Brazil
20 Feb 07
I think you shouldn't have said that... First of all you are in an compromise since you already have a girlfriend, and she already has a boyfriend, If you both were singles i don't see any problem.. or even if you were single and she was compromised it was not so bad, But YOU technically is saying that you don't like your girlfriend but is still with her and also at the same time trying to be with your loved one.. Well if someone came to me saying that, and i was not compromised and she is not compromised, and i like her too.. well i'll just... kiss her and stuff.. well.. But i think you shouldn't have said that.. You should've waited till she break up with her boyfriend, What will actually happen since nothing lasts forever, principally in teenagers relationships... well, Good luck to you anyway mate. :)
@pendragon (3352)
• United States
20 Feb 07
I've said it, and it's been said to me.It feels good when you've finally said it and been rejected , hopefully nicely, but at least it's out in the open. I hate being the rejecter more,I can take it better than I can dish it out.
@MAX1966 (1030)
• Netherlands
20 Feb 07
i know how i would react! i am in exact the same situation! i told the man that i like him. but that there was nothing more then that. i was honest to him i would not give him false hope.
@cjkicks (156)
• United States
20 Feb 07
Wow that is a doozy. I would always tell my feelings just like you did. If you aren't married then who knows what could happen. If you never said anything how would anyone know how you felt. When you know how someone feels then you can at least try to work on a solution. Great discussion!!!
• United States
20 Feb 07
I think it is a very brave thing to tell someone how you feel about them when it is likely that they will not reciprocate the feeling back to you. Especially when they are already in a relationship that will probably not end anytime soon. However, you never know what might happen. You never know, maybe this woman has been in love with you too for quite some time now and was just waiting on you to make the first move. I suppose you have to consider the benefits versus the consequences of making such a bold proclamation.
• China
20 Feb 07
What i can do to her is just to say"thank you very much",That is all.