When do you start disciplining a child?

Philippines
February 19, 2007 9:47pm CST
i've attended some parenting talks/seminars where they say that you can start disciplining a child as early as possible. but you can only give punishment (e.g. spanking, time out) when they are old enough to understand why they are being punished (e.g., at age 3). what are your thoughts on this? let's say you have a child who is less than 3 years old but is capable of understanding right from wrong. would you start giving punishments or other forms of discipline? if yes, how would you do it?
7 people like this
51 responses
@limosonia1 (1560)
• United States
20 Feb 07
I think about 2 is when they really learn right from wrong. If your child can say that famous word no to you then it is ok to start. Slight spanks if they do something dangerous. Continually correcting if they are doing something wrong by saying no and pointing to what they are doing wrong. Children are very smart. You can ask a hundred moms and everybody has there own way and there beliefs in handling a child. Do what is comfortable for you.
2 people like this
@paulnet (748)
• India
20 Feb 07
child discipline is important as its the foundation path that will provide much help to them later on their life. I think after 2 yrs. of age you can try it.
1 person likes this
@camar_lyn (1028)
• Singapore
20 Feb 07
I've always believed in communicating with your children. So when it comes to disciplining, to me it started when they were babies. For example, if my sons insists on buying a toy while window shopping, i would say i know you like this toy. Let's look at the other corner to see if there are any other toys more interesting than this one. Calming them down and reassuring them is most important to me. There will be a time when just talking to them is not enough. So they have to be made aware of the consequences following some actions. This is where time out comes into play. Then later on, time out doesn't even deter them anymore. So the next step for me is spanking. Most importantly, disciplining has to be consistent. If we're inconsistent, the kids can pick that up very fast and use it against you. My 3 step discipline rules at home is 1. warning 2. time out 3. spanking. And of course each step has to be explained clearly to them. It is time consuming. Then again, children just like seedlings, need time to grow.
@camar_lyn (1028)
• Singapore
28 Feb 07
Thank you for rating me as the best response. Hope it helps you. God Bless!
1 person likes this
@yanple (164)
• Philippines
22 Feb 07
my baby is 22 months (i got it right this time =) but i'm trying to discipline him already since i believe that he can already understand and follow some simple instructions. for me, i need to tell him what's right from wrong this early, so as to build a good foundation. i don't want to spoil my child because later on, we'll both suffer from that. he should know his own limitations as early as possible, so in the future, he'll learn to control on his own. how do i do it? i do light spanking when he's done something terrible. but after that, i try to explain to him why i've done it, the bad thing he's done and what he should do next time. and i guess it's working with my son fair enough.
@ethanmama (1746)
• Philippines
21 Feb 07
My son is 17 months old and is starting to learn a lot AND have tantrums when he doesn't get his way. I think ground rules should already be set when the child reaches this point, that's why we try to hold our ground when he wants something he can't have. But as to actually punishing him, maybe not now. He doesn't know all the ground rules yet. But at maybe 3 when he already does and he breaks them, certain measures do have to be done.
1 person likes this
@salman149 (149)
• France
21 Feb 07
nicce topic of discussion have a nice day and good luck
1 person likes this
@Weldon2 (20)
• United States
20 Feb 07
I have 2 children ages 7 & 12 one is handicaped with CP(cerebral palsy). You MUST start disapline as soon as the child comes home from hospital. For instance if there is constant crying you would first look for & eliminate the reason. 1) Is the child hungry? if so feed it 2) Wet or messy ? If so change it 3)Suffering from diaper rash? Teething Colic ? Use appropriate treatments 4) If it scared of something Comfort it But there are times when some children cry or throw things just to misbehave. If you determine this is the case you must firmly tell the child NO!! That is NOT how we act here in this house. Granted a newborn can't talk but what you are doing is communicating by your tone of voice that there is something wrong about what the child is doing. As the child gets older & understands more you can tell them more about whatever they did that was wrong & punishments can be added or subtracted as needed.
@smints8985 (1595)
• United States
20 Feb 07
If a child is already in the stage where he is able to distinguish right from wrong and I think it is okay to start disciplining them. well of course you'd start with the basic timeout just to let them know that their action is not acceptable, just to build that concept of if you do something bad you get punished. So they would grow up knowing that they are not supposed to do bad things and they cannot just get away with that kind of attitude..
1 person likes this
@amishagg (186)
• India
20 Feb 07
At such small ages it is not right to punish a child. The right thing to do would be to consistently tell the child about his/her actions consequences.
@mywords18 (647)
• United States
20 Feb 07
yes we shud but from the very first day unconsiously we do it from the very first time like makin hand postures of indicating be quite, or smile or sleep and many more yes whn he or she grew up they shud knw hoe to sit,talk and eat and we must try make them learn and rest depends on time we must say we cant pressurise them rite!!!
• Philippines
20 Feb 07
I have a 4 year old daugther right now. As early from now my husband and i already started disciplining our daugther. But only a talk but if she insist on what she do we spank her but not that hard. We believe that disciplining your child as early as toddlers can make your children a better person. Children now-a days are intelligent, they can already understand what your saying and i know that if you will talk to your children with your heart, they would listen and follow.
1 person likes this
@06sport (82)
• United States
20 Feb 07
if they are capable of understanding then absolutely. You said it yourself. So i would also agree. Usually time outs work the best. If they are fighting over a toy, take it away.
1 person likes this
• Pakistan
20 Feb 07
yes i agree with some seminars that we can start discipling a child as early as possible butt without punishment,as my husband say children are like monkeys what so ever they see,hear andget they will do the same thing.we have 2 children and both are good in their classess,we never beat them or abuse them,we taught them with some pricess ,ex.whenever obey us we give them something,and they are happy and never say NO to us because we also never try to say NO to them,if we dislike and not agree with what they are doing we change the words from NO to something else and as our community as a MUSLIM fammily thanks to GOD we have 2 very lovely children and we also teach them to prayers since they are small
1 person likes this
@XxAngelxX (2835)
• Canada
20 Feb 07
I started disciplining my children the minute they started doing things that were dangerous or things they just shouldn't do. I don't mean I was spanking them or anything like that, but for example when my son was only a little over a year old, he had a bad habit of hitting his sister (eleven months younger than him) over the head. I would tell him no and put him in the corner for one minute. It didn't take long for him to stop doing it. I think it's simply a matter of taking the time to teach them proper attitudes that's all.
1 person likes this
@nick826 (173)
• Philippines
20 Feb 07
For me hurting a child when his wrong was not the right kind of discipline I believe that talking to a child that his wrong is the kind of punishment. Anyway who would like to hurt there beloved son or daughter.
1 person likes this
@nandans (1161)
• India
20 Feb 07
when my child was 1 year old, we started disciplining.
1 person likes this
@Ravenladyj (22992)
• United States
20 Feb 07
a child younger than 3 may vaguely know right from wrong but their attention span and memory isnt nearly advanced enough yet to remember and fully comprehend it all...they know that doing a certain thing gets mummy or daddy to react a certain way but they dont understand WHY if that makes sense......I started teaching my kids right from wrong by the time they were one and as they got older I enforced things appropriately..Worked for me without a doubt but I would tell someone "oh do what I did" becuase they arent me nor are their children like my children...it varies for everyone IMO
1 person likes this
@Mamaof4 (222)
• Philippines
20 Feb 07
If the child is able to understand between right and wrong, then yes, I would start disciplining. Sometimes we will be surprised at how much a child actually understands and perceives in the world around him.
1 person likes this
@sincere (178)
• India
20 Feb 07
Offcourse i would punish them for wrong doing if they know very well what is wrong or right.Even if they dont know ,teach them with love and if they repeat the same mistake then better to give them punishment.after knowing the wrong and right doing,they choose wrong one it means they did it intentionally.well i dont have child yet i.e.im unmarried but this is my thinking for my future children.
1 person likes this
• India
20 Feb 07
It differes from child to child. It is seen that few children are advanced one. They start understanding and responding anything quickly than others. In such case after 3 years of age, disciplining should be started in very slow manner or on small small things. Otherwise 5 years of age is very good for starting discipling the child.
1 person likes this
@smkwan2007 (1038)
• Hong Kong
20 Feb 07
When a normal newborn baby has spent several months with his parents, he already knows what the expressions and eyesights on their parents mean, whether it be consent or not for certain behaviour they had done. I think the lecturers are right, the sooner you discipline the baby, the more firmly they would stick the unwritten rules. In the case that a child is naughty or stubborn on certain action like throwing any thing within reach, or banging his head against something, professionals specialized on parenting suggest that parent should try to distract his attention or just take him away from the place he is trying to act wildly.