Don't we care anymore?

@Thomas73 (1467)
Switzerland
February 20, 2007 5:56am CST
The transcript below simply amazed me. It seems that we nowadays live without caring for anyone anymore, not even the neighbours. Would you notice if one of your neighbours had died at home? Mummified body found in front of blaring TV NEW YORK (Reuters, 19th Feb. 2007) - Police called to a Long Island man's house discovered the mummified remains of the resident, dead for more than a year, sitting in front of a blaring television set. The 70-year-old Hampton Bays, New York, resident, identified as Vincenzo Ricardo, appeared to have died of natural causes. Police said Saturday his body was discovered Thursday when they were called to the house over a burst water pipe. "You could see his face. He still had hair on his head," Newsday quoted morgue assistant Jeff Bacchus as saying. The home's low humidity had preserved the body. Officials could not explain why the electricity had not been turned off, considering Ricardo had not been heard from since December 2005. Neighbors said when they had not seen Ricardo, who was diabetic and had been blind for years, they assumed he was in the hospital or a long-term care facility.
19 people like this
26 responses
@bluewings (3857)
20 Feb 07
Can't say I am shocked but it's sad.Atleast knowing he was visually impaired and considering his age his family should have checked on him.It's weird that even friends don't suspect a thing for so long.I am assuming here that he had some friends ,acquaintances or domestic help as it's next to impossible to be all by himself at his age with his health conditions.
@Thomas73 (1467)
• Switzerland
20 Feb 07
It looks like he was a pretty lonely character, though. No one cared for him, apparently.
5 people like this
• Philippines
20 Feb 07
that's a sad story. people are getting too wrapped up in things that they forget their old relatives. In the Philippines, i think that's not likely to happen because most grandparents live with grandchildren or their own sons and daughters even if they have their own families. The idea of independence could really eat the society someday.
@Thomas73 (1467)
• Switzerland
20 Feb 07
Different cultures see the elderly differently. The Western world seems to have lost all respect and care for their elders.
5 people like this
@CRiley27 (984)
• United States
20 Feb 07
I saw that on the news the other day. What a shame. We have 2 old ladies on our street, aside from myself and husband, we all on the street check up on them. If we are getting bad weather, I always call and let them know if we lose power or flodd, my husband will be over to get them. We shovel after snow, offer to go to the grocery store etc...If I have not seen either for a few days, I always make sure I give a friendly knock on the door to say hi. So yes to answer your question. I know people have their own lives,but it only takes a few moments to check up on a neighbor.
3 people like this
@Thomas73 (1467)
• Switzerland
20 Feb 07
At least, you're the caring kind. It reminds me of a story I heard, in the town where I grew up, of this old lady that was found several days after she passed away, and who was half-eaten by her starving cats...
@The_Eagle_1 (1123)
• Australia
1 Mar 07
Your point of not caring anymore is a fungas which started creeping into society many years ago, but has become increasingly more blatant in recent times as the lack of mutual respect dissipates, as highlighted in the confrontations the police face out in the streets these days to 20 years ago! This leading to the "jack system"! "Blow you jack, I'm alright!" As our subject shows!
2 people like this
• Australia
1 Mar 07
Geesh... must be getting late...yes 5 past mid-night here now!! lol 1:fungas = fungus 2:"As our... = As your subject shows! Good night world!! Hahaha... Have a good one Thomas!
2 people like this
@Thomas73 (1467)
• Switzerland
1 Mar 07
I understood anyway, thanks. :) And don't be nasty to fungi, I have worked with them and I can assure you that most are really nice organisms. ;)
3 people like this
• Australia
3 Mar 07
Hahaha... fungi fighter!! Hollywood might well be interested in this theme Tom!!
1 person likes this
@yanjiaren (9050)
20 Feb 07
i know..we are living in concrete jungles where everyone is living in a constant fear of thier neighbours..suspician and contempt rule today's city psyche..it stinks..you are so right..where the hell has good will and the 'love thy' neighbour' quote gone? it is a sad fact of our times and the urbanisation process post industial revolution has created this anomaly..now that monoculture is taking over the agrarian economies and so many villagers have to migrate into the big cities to survive..so many families are being uprooted and separated which is in effect causing more alienation and mistrust..i think this is a global illness that is seeping through all the nations of the earth via globalisation..so sorry to ramble on..
2 people like this
@Thomas73 (1467)
• Switzerland
21 Feb 07
Even simple things like saying "hello" when you see someone in the street has disappeared in most places. It seems to be the 'every man for himself' attitude nowadays...
2 people like this
@Idlewild (6094)
• United States
20 Feb 07
I saw a photo of the house on CNN, and it does seem to have a pretty long driveway. I mean, it's not as if the houses were really close together and neighbors could just happen to walk by his house and hear the TV. I think a lot of people today fear ending up like this kind of guy. People move around a lot more these days, so family members (if people have them) can be spread out all over the globe. And friends can move, relocate, etc.
2 people like this
@Thomas73 (1467)
• Switzerland
21 Feb 07
You would still have thought that people would get out of their way and check on him from time to time.
2 people like this
@tarachand (3895)
• India
2 Mar 07
This has started happening slowly in India too. Senior pesons don't seem to matter anymore not even to their own children unfortunately. I recently saw figures from a survey, this is India specific that said that a couple of generations ago, the paychack was handed over to the seniormost family member. The generation before mine and my genration tended to share pasrt of the paycheck with parents, today, kids will throw parties for parents, give them gifts, but won't part with the moolah.
• Philippines
2 Mar 07
Thomas, something like that could never happen in my country. Here families are closely knit and old people are usually taken care of by family, not sent to nursing homes. No one rarely lives alone, rich or poor, as we are used to having extended families. There's always a cousin, an aunt, uncle, distant relative, a neighbor, a maid, a friend nearby who keeps in touch (especially nowadays when cellphones are rampant) will notice your disappearance, especially if you are sick or disabled. Unlike most European culture, we do not practice 'to each his own' although we have our flaws too.
@Asylum (48224)
• Manchester, England
2 Mar 07
This type of thing must happen on a frequent basis, albeit to a less significant degree which would keep the incidents from being newsworthy. Many people live alone and do not encounter the neighbours for several days at a time, so it would often be days before anyone would suspect that there was a problem.
2 people like this
@pumpkinjam (5801)
• United Kingdom
23 Feb 07
I can't say I would go out of my way to check on my neighbours but for those who I see around regularly, I would wonder where they had got to if I hadn't seen them for a while. It's horrible to think that some people have no one to care for them. I suppose people assume that everyone has family to look after them and that they will do so but unfortunately it doesn't always happen like that. As I get on well with some of my neighbours, I would probably notice if I hadn't seen them and I would think their children would be there for them and tell us if anything happened. The neighbours on the other side though, we hardly see them as it is so possibly wouldn't notice if they weren't there. I don't think it's a matter of not caring because if we did notice we hadn't seen them then we'd check on them, but it's more the fact that we wouldn't notice.
2 people like this
@cyntrow (8524)
• United States
22 Feb 07
I'm very fortunate to live in a neigborhood where the neighbors all know each other. Our kids play together and if the kids aren't at my house I know they are safe outside someone else's house. If a neighbor of mine was not out of his/her house in a 24 hour period, every person in the area would be knocking on the door.
2 people like this
@Ravenladyj (22937)
• United States
21 Feb 07
Its quite sad isnt it....no more are the days of a mom and pop world...As for my neighbours, we've always made a point of being friendly with our neighbours and if we dont see them for a few days we check in and make sure everything is okay etc...Sadly though, its so not commonplace anymore..ppl have become so damn afraid of each other and/or just dont seem to care, cant be bothered to get involved..its horrible..
2 people like this
• Philippines
21 Feb 07
someone posted this already.. about an old man bein mummified right in his own home in front of his blaring TV..
1 person likes this
@Thomas73 (1467)
• Switzerland
21 Feb 07
I wasn't aware that the story had been discussed elsewhere at myLot. Sorry!
3 people like this
• Philippines
23 Feb 07
hey its not that i mean anything.. but based from the responces you've got. i think well its just my opinion that you started it first rather than the one i read few days ago. its in the news also so its not a surprise that it might be posted several times.. Smooch
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Feb 07
I read this article yesterday. It amazes me that the guy was there for a year with the TV blaring and no one had complained about it before now. Also, it's amazing that the utilities had not been turned off! If I let my go a few weeks, they disconnect them! This is really weird. I beieve someone was paying that bill. Who could it have been and why didn't they check on him?
1 person likes this
@Thomas73 (1467)
• Switzerland
21 Feb 07
It might have been a direct debit from his bank account without the need for human intervention. Just a hypothesis.
2 people like this
• United States
21 Feb 07
that is so crazy. I would hope that someone would know if something happened to me. I actually had a situation something like this happen. I had a neighbor that I waved to everyday, our scheduals were so different that usually the only time for conversation was while cheking the mail or emptying the trash. All of a sudden I didn't see her at all. Her car was sitiing in the drive way but I never saw her, I did worry and no one seemed to know anything, until one night there was an accident outside my home, I was surprised to see her car there and she had not came out to see what had happened. I found out that the reason she had not answered the door or returned any messages is because she took her own life. I felt responsible, because I felt I should have known that she was so sad, that something was wrong. I wish that I could have had the foresight to say some words of wisdom to share with her that could have made a difference. The crazy thing about it was that no one else really noticed that she was gone, that anything was different. Like in the news story you shared. People assumed that she was out of town, or just maintained a different schedual. Since this happened I am a lot more interactive with my neighbors. I want to know that they are okay and hope that they too would come and check on me if they did not see me for a day or two, if I didn't tell them I was going out of town. Stories like the one you shared and my personal experience show why it is so importnat to know what is going on around you. Thnak you for this discussion.
1 person likes this
@Thomas73 (1467)
• Switzerland
21 Feb 07
Thank you for sharing your story. There are times when we'd like to do something to help, but aren't able to. It's not always our fault.
2 people like this
• United States
2 Mar 07
Oh this is just to sad. I can't imagine the poor man there alone and nobody bothered to check and see where he was. If I notice that I have not seen my neighbors for a couple of days, I go check on them. My heart just breaks for these people who are so alone. My parents instilled in us that we take care of each other and our neighbors. It has always been important to us. I have had people ask me did I think I or my neighbors are nosy, I said no, a nosy neighbor is in everybody's business and usually likes to spread rumors, a caring neighbor keeps a watchful eye....we need more caring in this world.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
21 Feb 07
your post quite saddens me. i am from the phils. and in our place, there is such a relationship among the neighbors that i can say this couldnt have happened here. in our compound, people talk a lot, greet each other, in other words, share lives. and because of this culture, i have grown to be more conscious of building relationships than accumulating wealth. but anyhow, your post is such a reflection of things that are happening around us. this is not quite true to all people in all places. i still believe that there are people out there with a big heart and a helpful pair of hands.
1 person likes this
@cefaz_21 (2597)
• Philippines
21 Feb 07
It's sad, really sad. I was just wondering what kind of neighboors does this man had? It's a cruel world we live in now a days, people tend to spend time alone in thier computers and won't care with anyone else anymore. I'n glad I live in a different country with diffrent culture,we don't just let the older relatives live alone specially if he's sick.I just hope we could be all more concerned and more caring indiviaduals.
1 person likes this
@vk1945 (65)
• India
21 Feb 07
I agree "Different culture see elderly differently." Such cases are random. Some one will come to the help. Here, the Guy was lucky to have been looked after by the Nature. Human vallues do not have much relevance now a days. The life style is changing very fast. Now a days Man is wolf to a man.It is most unfortunate
1 person likes this
@shilpaum (1753)
• India
21 Feb 07
I afraid, I'm not having much contact with my neighbour. I couldn't notice if something happens in their house, if its noiseless. They will not notice about my home too.