Would this irritate you?
By soccermom
@soccermom (3198)
United States
February 20, 2007 8:56pm CST
Okay, my hubby and I have been together for almost 6 years and were just marries last March. Our anniversary is coming up and my sis is taking the 3 kids for the weekend. He asked me what I wanted to do, so I told him I'd like to lounge around the house all weekend and just enjoy each other. I also told him I think we need to "spice it up" so I want him to go to the local "adult" store and buy something he'd like to see me in and whatever else floats his boat, I'd be game for anything within reason. He refuses to go! He says he can't go there alone, it's embarassing. I don't see what's so embarassing, cripes it's not like other people aren't in there for the same reason you are. So I guess maybe I'll just paint the kitchen. I just don't understand why it's okay if I go to this store alone, he never complains about that. Would you be upset with your significant other?
19 people like this
57 responses
@Michele21 (3093)
• United States
21 Feb 07
I think I would be too embarassed to go by myself too! But I think a man should be fine with it-a double standard I know. I wouldn't be mad at him at all though, just go with him and help pick stuff out!! Have fun and enjoy your anniversary!!
5 people like this
@soccermom (3198)
• United States
21 Feb 07
It's not even like it's a dirty side of the freeway type place! It's set up like a boutique, very tasteful. We've gone a couple times together, I was just hoping he'd take the initiative. Oh well...LOL
2 people like this
@moonmagick (1458)
• United States
21 Feb 07
I feel for you. Mine is uptight about these kinds of things too. I guess I am just a bit too open minded. If the mood strikes my fancy, I will wander in all by myself. I dont see the big deal. Heck, a group of girlfriends and I used to go in all the time to check out the "toy" selection. LOL
3 people like this
@soccermom (3198)
• United States
21 Feb 07
Thank goodness for the liberated woman! LOL I guess I just always thought it would be the man that was into this kind of thing. Who knew I married a prude? LOL
2 people like this
@kbkbooks (7022)
• Canada
21 Feb 07
My hubby is shy in public but a real animal in private. If he needs HELP at the store, go with him and make it a fun couples trip. OR, go with a girlfriend and pick out something to wear as a gift to him. A friend and I did this once and it went over very well with our husbands.
2 people like this
@contuletz2007 (734)
• Romania
22 Feb 07
uuuuuh!...i think we should join a club of women whose partners are a delight in private but a stone in public. mine is that way but i don't mind as far as i know he loves me anyway :)
@jbones32103 (717)
• United States
21 Feb 07
No I wouldn't be upset because some men don't want others to know how dirty their minds really are today. I would go with him to the store and do this as an anniversary gift to each other.
2 people like this
@Joey322 (272)
• United States
21 Feb 07
well, i must admit that going to "adult stores" alone for the first time can be a bit intimidating....
you wonder, "do the staff think i'm a perv?" "can they see my wedding ring?" "am i going to run into someone i know?"
on top of that you're asking him to pick something out for you, which is hard for a man to do even if it's a sweater for christmas,let alone some kinky nightie!
i can understand your frustration...honestly, i can, but i can also remember the first time i visited an "adult store" and it was a bit uncomfortable....no problem now, though!!! :)
anyway...how about you go together and make some fun out of it! do a little fashion show for him...you can usually try most items on as long as you keep your undies on and then, and then he can get a sneak peek at what's to come. or pick out some videos together so you cna both get what you like out of it. also, you can have some fun with looking at all those toys!! they can be pretty wild, ya know!
have some fun with it and stop sulking! sometimes people need a little nudge to put on their big boy pants!
take care and HAVE FUN....Happy Anniversary!
2 people like this
@oh_Carol (4)
• United States
21 Feb 07
i Have been Married for 31 years and i learned a long lng time ago, if ya want somrthing do it Yourself. I understand you want him to go but hell go yourself anyway and this way ya know you got something that will TURN YOU on. After that if He sees it didnt bother you to go alone and u had fun going and getting what you want he may decide he wants to check it out too.
2 people like this
@banajmi (98)
• India
21 Feb 07
I think you should not discuss your personal matters in public!!! Your husband seems to be a shy person ... so you try to understand him and he will respect yuour ideas. If he is feeling shy in purchasing adult things alone , then you should accompany him. Dont let him down by discussing his weaknesses in public, right?
@soccermom (3198)
• United States
21 Feb 07
I have accompanied him, I just thought this would be something different. I also don't feel I'm "letting him down" by discuusing this in "public". But maybe you and I have a differing definition of what public is, and I would never discuss anything that he would get upset about. Thanks for your input though.
@michelledarcy (5220)
•
21 Feb 07
Why don't you let him get something of an internet site instead.
This way he could still get you something sexy without having to embaress himself in the shop. If he still refuses then you would have every right to be upset.
1 person likes this
@thinkingoutloud (6127)
• Canada
21 Feb 07
I was going to suggest shopping online, as well, as a way to get around the embarrassment factor. My husband doesn't have any issue with going into adult stores on his own, which I think is great. Personally, I know I could go with him but I'd have a harder time going alone... that's just me. My sister is totally cool with the idea and she'd go alone anytime. Her husband, though, I don't think he'd set foot in such a store. I guess we all have our different levels of tolerance for it LOL
Another thing, though... if you don't care to actually order online for whatever reason (concerns about the delivery or the cost or what have you), you and your husband could sit together and "window shop" (or "monitor shop," I guess lol) online. You could visit any number of adult sites and browse through things, have some fun planning what you would like to buy to celebrate your anniversary. I'm thinking that maybe, if your husband was going to an adult shop with a definite idea of what he wanted to buy, he might find that would help to ease his comfort level. I know for some people, they just don't want to have to browse or ask a salesperson for help.
Good luck and have a happy anniversary ;)
@soccermom (3198)
• United States
21 Feb 07
LOL Good idea! I can't believe I didn't think of it. I just hope when the UPS guy comes my daughter thinks it's a package for her!( We shop alot online) LOL
@xfallenxlostx (2074)
• United States
21 Feb 07
Honestly, i don't see his issue. i would go into the adult store...and i know my beloved would, too. Everyone is there for the same reason. It is not somethign to be embarassed about. It is completely natural. i think it is sad that you are going to spend your anniversary doing something so...lame...when you could be enjoying your spouse.
@Methodless (882)
• Canada
21 Feb 07
He's simply not comfortable, people are different. As long as you believe he is telling the truth, I would not be disappointed or irritated. I'd go with him, the trip to the store could be fun itself.
2 people like this
@princeworthy (1909)
• United States
21 Feb 07
No I wouldn't be upset. I think I understand where he is comming from. When women go into the store alone it might be seen a sexy. A man visiting an adult store alone is either sad or creepy from most peoples viewpoints.
2 people like this
@weddrev (2)
• United States
21 Feb 07
So, if you're wanting to "spice it up" why don't you make a trip to the adult store?
And even a walk in the park is better than painting the kitchen!
There is a reason for his embarassment, maybe sometime you might want to ask him about it.
@soccermom (3198)
• United States
22 Feb 07
Thank you! Finally someone got where I was trying to go with this! I have no problem going by myself, the whole point was something to make it fun for him! Criminy! I'm 32! I'm healthy! I'm wildly attracted to him! I'm in my peak years for Gods sake! LOL
@Myrrdin (3599)
• Canada
21 Feb 07
I think the point is is to get her husband to buy something she would not think of, something for him alone. I think it is a sweet gesture and quite sexy. Her making the trip would be counterproductive, the idea is to see where he wants to go with it, not for her to direct where things go.
1 person likes this
@eternally_jb (4)
• United States
21 Feb 07
No, I wouldn't be upset with him. As a mather of fact, I would push the issue any further. If he is not comfortable going to the adult store (for whatever reason) he is not comfortable going to the adult store, period. You wouldn't want him pushing you to do anything you're not comfortable with either, would you?
1 person likes this
@crazynurse (7482)
• United States
22 Feb 07
I don't think I would be upset. I would be rather proud of him. It certainly speaks of his respect for the female...which is rare. I believe I'd just sneak off and grab something 'wild' and surprise him with it..perhaps while painting the kitchen!!! Take a potty break and come back in your spicy 'outfit'!!! You might even experiment with body painting! Ha!
1 person likes this
@western_valleygirl (1363)
• United States
22 Feb 07
Well, in general, that just doesn't seem like the best place for either of you to go alone. I can understand Victoria's Secret for some really nice lingerie, that is always fun, and not too over the top. You could always order stuff from their website or other websites, that is much more easier than either of you going. This would not irritate me, because sometimes, it is just not nice to for someone to do something that they really do not want to do, that would just make the relationship strained. If he asked you to go, in the future, than just don't go, if you feel that you should not be the one to go on your own. However, I still believe you could get the things you need from online... much easier and more private. :)
1 person likes this
@rsa101 (37932)
• Philippines
22 Feb 07
Well it really depends on your hubby, there are men that are not used to going in that kind of store. I also dont have the strenght to do it myself since i am conscious what other people would think when i enter those kind of shops. But being with your wife going in there it gives you strenght that you are doing it not becuase you're pervert or something but you want to enjoy it with your wife which is pretty normal. I suggest you both go and enjoy choosing the videos you want to watch. I think it's more enjoyable since both of you would agree what to watch then he will do the choosing and later on you wouldn't like it.
1 person likes this
@awonderfullife (2893)
• United States
4 Mar 07
Why not go together but ahve him pick something out? That's so funny he's embarrassed-- I'd think most men would LOVE an excuse to go in a place like that. I'd be the one who'd be embarrassed to go , LOL!
1 person likes this
@SolanumThur (170)
• Brazil
21 Feb 07
Well if i was him, yes at first i would get a bit embarrassed[because i'm like that :X], but since your my loved[i'm fantasying i'm him ok xD]after you asking more 1 or 2 times i would go, even if i get embarrassed before going there i will see everyone is there just to do the same thing and everyone is adult, also thinking about how would it be good later estimulates hehe.
But i think if i asked someone that i love and we are having some weekend togheter and she doesn't want to go to the adult store, i probably would go with her if she really can't go alone, since i guess there's no motive to destroy the weekend just because of some clothes =P.
1 person likes this
@SolanumThur (170)
• Brazil
21 Feb 07
Sorry... I had connection problems and i tought the first post didnt came out.. Sorry for doubleing.
1 person likes this
@spr1967 (208)
•
21 Feb 07
LOL, i visited my brothers last week and was chatting to his wife about Valentines night and what they got up to. She said my mum had the kids so she started off by having a nice bath then decided to dress for the occasion if you know what i mean! Thing was my brother had just bought a garden rubbish burner and basically spent the night burning everything he could find to burn
You had to be there i guess to see her her face, she wasnt in the slightest amused and fell out with him and he couldnt understand why
1 person likes this
@soccermom (3198)
• United States
22 Feb 07
LOL I was inthat position once! When we first moved into our house the kids were gone so we could unpack in peace and I thought I'd throw on something interesting and we could "break in" the new place.. All he wanted to do was unpack. That's when it hit... omg, we're married! LOL
