I think i'm in love.. but He's on the other side of the world....

Philippines
February 20, 2007 9:53pm CST
I've met a guy on the internet. He's also a Filipino like me. He works for a company in Middle East. He's 27, I'm 23. I'm working here in the Philippines. For months i've spend most of my time online discussing anything and every thing. He calls me, I call him. He would send me text messages and I will reply. We have spent good times for a cam to cam chat. One day, he told me that he has fallen in love with me. At that time, I am feeling the same way too. But I hesitate to commit because I know that it has nowhere to go. I don't think a long distance relationship would work. Day by day my feelings for him get stronger and stronger. There are times when I want to just completely ignore him and cut all the lines that bind us? But it seems I can't. Do we have to start a relationship and don't worry for whatever it feeling it would bring us? Or would i simply stop keeping in touch with him and eventually forget him?.. (Sigh...)
6 people like this
58 responses
@cherhost (1073)
• United States
21 Feb 07
Is there any sign of him going there to work? I just wondering. If you love him dont let it go that quick! It may only happen once. But it would be nice ot have some real contact with him that way you can know what he is really like. Good luck!
2 people like this
@lucky_witch (2711)
• Philippines
21 Feb 07
You know my dear... i have a different way of thinking... for me its better that you take the chance... do everything to make things work... and if in time... it slip to your hands... well atleast you tried and you'll have no regrets from letting the chance pass without doing anything... Im not saying that Im right... but sometimes love happens in the most unexpected situation... you're not the only person in the world with that kind of situation... and im telling you some relationships work out... some do not... people in this world sometimes afraid to gamble... surely they dont get lost... but i assure they dont ever win either... So for me... give it some more time then if you're pretty sure you love him... give it a chance.
1 person likes this
@ydnac22 (804)
• Philippines
21 Feb 07
EXACTLY!.. i agree with you!.this is a very nice advice.:)
• Philippines
22 Feb 07
yeah she's correct you have to take the chances, at least you can say that you have done your best and the risk.
• India
21 Feb 07
Hey really its an interesting to here such a lovable story. Ok let me come to the point, If you love him so and he also loves you very much what there is up?. But enquire before what he really does about his details and if he is really genuine dont hesitate to convey your feelings. Go ahead.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
21 Feb 07
but the thing is... I know nothing bout him (if its true or not) aside from what he told me that he has a kid.. his wife already had another family and he'll work for his annulment when he came back here.. who knows? (Sigh...)
@jammyt (2824)
• Philippines
21 Feb 07
Im from the Philippines too. Did you ever ask if he will come home? Sorry I'm kinda skeptical.. too many stories like these have come up. Are you sure he is not married? What's hard with having an internet pal,is that you really cant confirm if what they are saying or claiming is true. My two cents worth, get out while you can. If you prolong it, the harder it'll be for you to let go. I dont mean cut all ties but let him know that it's hard to have a relationship that way. I doubt that you'll forget him. If he says he will go home or something, maybe you can think about it ---but it still doenst change the fact that you have to verify if all that he has said is true about himself. Goodluck.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
21 Feb 07
you've got a point.. i know knothing bout him aside from the fact (that he told me) that he has a kid, his wife's already have a family with another man.. and he would work on his annulment when he came home... and the only thing I can say is that he's a cutiepie.. (LOL) (just kidding)
• Canada
21 Feb 07
well berryappleberry , i know love can be unfair like that sometimes . it is possible to actually have a long distance relationship . i suggest maybe if you can visit for a week and see for your self. i know you probably think easier said than done . give it a try . at least you will never regret letting the relation ship go that easily . thanks .
• Philippines
22 Feb 07
hi there.... i would have to say that you reserve your feelings.. you hardly even know this guy, evernthough you think that you've known each other quite well, its still a different set-up because you only got to communicate through chat, phonecalls, and people can be so pretentious.. who knows he might be married with kids already, or he might have a gf already.. and the only way to find out if he is really serious with you if he would meet you personally. And from there, assess everything, take each step at a time. wish you all the best girl... thanks a bunch^_^
1 person likes this
@Nagareru (308)
• Peru
22 Feb 07
you should do what your heart tells you becausem it doesnt matters if he is far or you. i can love someone that is far, but if its true love i the time wont matter, have you heard those stories about the woman who waited for his beloved boyfriend. Well if you think your love for him is like that, well you are free and you have the right to do it. But if you think not, well its ok you should go with your life and be ok. But, at the end is up to your decision. ;D
1 person likes this
• United States
22 Feb 07
It's even hard to find what you already have with him so I suggest to go for it. Just make sure he's really single. Continue on and when he comes make sure he introduces you to his family first.
• United States
22 Feb 07
My candid advise; follow your heart. At times, things don't happen the way it usually suppose to happen. Maybe not all long distance relationships survives, but some do survive, and yours could be one of the ones that will survive if only you could give it a trial. I would say, you ask yourself well if thats what you want, then go for it, odn't mind what people will say and you ve to be careful at the same time, to be sure the guyreally wants you the way you want him. Ask him his palns about the two of you, let him be sincere about it. Then take your decisions, if you ve to walk away from it, walk and never look back, and if you re going for it, take it with all your love, not minding anybody. All the Best.
• United States
22 Feb 07
All I can say is fallow your heart. Do whats best for you and what you want to do.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
22 Feb 07
hi. BTW, im also a filipino and i want to comment to ur discussion. first don't to much believe of what the guy saying until you don't have a proof of hes honest with you or he really loves you a lot. if he is serious with you his the one who get the first move of seeing you each other. i think the company he is working for give him a vacation to go back here in the philippines. cause if he is serious with you and love you so much. he do it. you dont know if he is telling the truth that he loves you, his single or what... dont focus of what he was saying to you. those a lot is only a sweet saying to beleive you and to conquer your heart and trust. btw im kenneth im in the phil living. if you need an advice don't hesitate to give me a mail. hope you have a yahoo id.. just add me... kcgonzales0526@yahoo.com
1 person likes this
• United States
22 Feb 07
I know how u feel. I had the same thing happen. I fell for a guy the same age as me in South Yorkshire, England. We both had planned to meet up... but it didnt happen because i wasnt allowed to go. I felt like it had nowhere else to go with the relationship and that I'd feel a bit empty inside because we couldnt REALLY be together. I made the mistake of letting it go when another guy came around over here where I was. The hardest thing I did was to let him go. You wont forget this guy online. if you decide to let him go, it's gonna be so hard for the first few months, but after a while you'll find getting interested in other men is easier... it'll hurt though... to be able to talk to him but not say or talk to him like you used to. Just make sure he understands and everything... i know i hurt the guy in england pretty bad when i told him what happened. I spent nearly two months or so regretting it, another few months trying to just let it go. Hope you make the right decision, whichever you do I hope you find best luck with.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
22 Feb 07
If u feel that you really love that guy...then let go of your feelings..there's no harm on trying to have a relationship online but just be prepare also to Whatever happens in the future...it maybe good or bad.But actually you knoW, i've knoWn some friends Who met their husband online...it Works..and noW they are happily married..it is depend i think hoW strong and deep your love to each other..
• Philippines
22 Feb 07
Hi there! I was in a long distance relationship before and all I can say is that nothing is impossible. I met my husband on myspace and everything is turning out well. I would want to share the keys to our successful relationship: 1. Constant communication - Let's admit, this is the only thing you can do for now since you guys can't go out on a date, hug or literally to be there for each other. Communication ensures a strong relationship whether it's long distance or not, but for a LDR, I think it's the most important. 2. Trust - A lot of people judge a LDR because of this, that there's more risk for either or both of the parties to cheat since their other half is half across the world. Come to think of it, even ordinary relationships have this temptation, it's just up to both of you if you can say no to this risk. This where care and love for the person comes in, even if he/she is far away, you wouldn't still think of cheating on him/her since you already care and love them. 3. Sacrifices - My husband would wait for me everyday from work. I get home round 8 pm my time and 5 am his time. For the weekends, I barely go out since I blocked my weekends for our long day chats. These are the things which I feel made our relationship work and stronger. I hope I was able to help out. Goodluck!
@ygkchaitu (388)
• India
21 Feb 07
Start a relationship.. what else can you do? with all that love in ur heart for him it is impossible to forget that person unless he does something to hurt ur feelings. But that is not going to happen so start a relationship.
• India
21 Feb 07
from my point of view..u just dont commit yourself in this kind of relation...these kind of relation dont work in practicle life... i ve seen a bad result of these kind of relationship
1 person likes this
@jkpaid (99)
• Uganda
21 Feb 07
any way one thing u have to know let nature take is crse and u may ingnore him and regret it in the future so let yo heart lead the way
1 person likes this
@buddy4u (23)
• India
21 Feb 07
berry u r really in love.... u have not seen him except on cam,no meeting with him but u have fallen in love with him. this is magic of conversation,the way he chat with u.... u like to talk with him.... dont suppress your feelings, just express it fully,,, love is a passion for somebody... u have that passion for somebody who is little far from u.. i hope u both will meet some day soon....
1 person likes this
@buddy4u (23)
• India
21 Feb 07
berry u r really in love.... u have not seen him except on cam,no meeting with him but u have fallen in love with him. this is magic of conversation,the way he chat with u.... u like to talk with him.... dont suppress your feelings, just express it fully,,, love is a passion for somebody... u have that passion for somebody who is little far from u.. i hope u both will meet some day soon....
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Feb 07
Long distance relationships are HARD! The question you have to ask yourself is "Is he worth it?". I had an 18 month long distance relationship with my bf (now my husband) and it was the longest 18 months ever! But we both knew that this was right and it was what we wanted so we made the effort to keep the relationship going. And we both had to make a lot of sacrifices to be together. Are you willing to make those sacrifices? For me, it included leaving my country, family and friends, good career, move 1/2 way across the world to be with him. But it's all worth it and I couldn't be happier.
1 person likes this