For prcticality sake, would you rather resort to Civil than Church Wedding???

Philippines
February 21, 2007 2:57pm CST
Wedding is viewed as the turning point of each individual from singleness and thus some, especially women would like to make their wedding memorable in any way possible. But with the cost of living soaring pretty high nowadays, I came to discuss to my boyfriend about civil wedding if the right time for us comes. I just thought that it won't matter that much coz be it civil or church, the essence of getting married is still there. But according to him, there is still a big difference in getting wed in the church than in a court. Well, maybe it's just that he is so religious and he sticks to the values inculcated in him, and obviously he honors the Sacrament of Matrimony a lot... Do you guys here think we really have to make a big fuss as to how are we getting wed?
11 people like this
37 responses
@tatzkie (644)
• Philippines
22 Feb 07
Rexy... you're lucky that your man has that kind of preference. For me i always believe a church wedding is an expression of love and pride. Infront of the people and God that pledge of love is blessed with the hopes that the couple be reminded that what they have is a celebration and thus it must be treasured and cared for. Then for the families, it is a source of pride and joy that their son and daughter have united two families galantly.
• Philippines
22 Feb 07
Thanks for your thoughts guys... yeah, I really am almost convinced by my boyfriend and you guys here in myLot that it really feels way great to have a Church wedding and we can have one without spending too much. Thanks!!!
1 person likes this
• Philippines
22 Feb 07
yup, i agree with you tatzkie...for me wedding is a big turning point for you and your partner..me when i get married i would say i go for church wedding..i would proudly bring my soon to be wife to the altar and to God...why would i have 2 or 3 witness when in church wedding you got the whole family and even churchgoers....
1 person likes this
• Philippines
22 Feb 07
I agree with tatzkie. there's no substitute for including God in the greatest moment of your life. even if you don't have the money, a simple church wedding will do. my brother was able to have a nice wedding even if he had limited cash.
2 people like this
• United States
21 Feb 07
I had a civil marriage we each had our witness and the ceremony lasted about 30 mins if that, I don't regret it one bit in fact I am happy we chose civil over church. I know someone who is getting married this weekend and they have had so many issues with the wedding, they have had people in the wedding party back out at less then a weeks notice, and all kinds of other mishaps! I don't think it matters which way you do it as long as you chose always to honor it the way marriage should be honored! The end result is the same a certificate that makes it legal and a ring that makes it public knowledge that your taken!
• Philippines
21 Feb 07
Thanks for the reply...that's also what I've been telling to my boyfriend-- all the possible mishaps and the considerable preparations needed from the whole entourage's attire, to the reception and even the "after-care". But he has been insisting, and am 99% convinced now, that we really have to have our wedding in the church to make God the center of our married lives..well, he is just very religious, that is. :)
2 people like this
@vivasuzi (4127)
• United States
22 Feb 07
But you see, there doesn't have to be bridesmaids and groomsmen and mishaps. You don't even have to wear a white dress! Having a church wedding does not mean you HAVE to have a big expensive thing with everyone invited. It can be just as small as a civil wedding, except instead of going to court that day you go to a church. I also commented below :) So I hope you get what I mean.
2 people like this
@loved1 (5328)
• United States
21 Feb 07
You make a valid point here. Marriage is about being married, not about the wedding. However, in my opinion, I consider it holy matrimony. That means I want God to be involved. I would at the very least want a pastor to perform the ceremony. That is what is best for me, but for many of my friends a justice of the peace did the job just fine and they have been happily married for years.
2 people like this
• Philippines
21 Feb 07
Many thanks for your thoughts...yeah, that's also my boyfriend's point and I guess I gotta give in to that coz in a way I find him logical. We are both Roman Catholics and there's no point arguing over religion matters especially for occasions like this. :)
2 people like this
@GardenGerty (157050)
• United States
21 Feb 07
You can have a small church wedding, and still be economical. That would be my solution. Actually my kids both got married within six months, and we kept things fairly inexpensive. We made a lot of the decor ourselves. My second wedding was in church, but was invitation only. I was a widow, and he was fairly mature, and it was a very intimate occassion, but it was a church wedding.
• Philippines
21 Feb 07
Cool! Thanks for the brilliant ideas. Godbless!
1 person likes this
@vivasuzi (4127)
• United States
22 Feb 07
Yes it is different. Civil wedding is legal but the church doesn't recognize it. If you are religious, you should definitely get married in a church. I don't really see what this has to do with the cost of living? Just because you have a church wedding doesn't mean you have to spend 1000s of dollars. You could just have a simple thing with you and close friends and the priest!
2 people like this
• Philippines
22 Feb 07
Thanks for your reply. Well yeah, I myself wanted to get wed in the church but as what I have observed from my friends, cousins, and other close people's church weddings, it would really cost quite much. From the entourage's dresses, venue, reception, and all those stuffs... But yeah, thanks for your thoughts. I'll consider budgeting less for my church wedding soon. Many thanks!
1 person likes this
• United States
22 Feb 07
Well, this is really just a matter of opinion. I am a religious person and my husband and I did not get married in a church. It was 100% because we just could not afford a big or even small wedding. We got married at the county courthouse and I have not regretted it for one minute, and I do not feel that I am not "married in the eyes of God" because I did it this way. Either way, I think you are married. Just because a minister/priest can't do it in my opinion makes no difference. I agree with you that the essence of getting married would still be there. However, if your boyfriend feels very strongly about this then you may just have to do it his way if you can't get him to come around to seeing things like you do.
2 people like this
• Philippines
22 Feb 07
Thanks for replying, yeah same as you I really think it won't make a big difference getting married in a church or in a court..But since my boyfriend and even his family has been convincing me to give some deep thoughts about it and reconsider things...well, yeah I guess I have in a way give in to his ideas. Anyways, I know he's thinking nothing but for the both of us...when we start a new family together. :)
1 person likes this
@lonewolfnan (4366)
• Canada
22 Feb 07
In today's world I find that a marriage liscense is just a piece of paper the government and church make money off of thru direct payment (church fees) or indirect(taxing differences).Since God knows what is in my heart and I do not see where He says I need a piece of paper to show my love for someone,is marriage now an out-dated concept??I do not love my person less without that paper.
@ESKARENA1 (18261)
21 Feb 07
to me a wedding is the most important day of your life and should be ceslebrated with the full pomp and ceremony you can muster so if that involves religion, so be it
2 people like this
• Philippines
21 Feb 07
This are really the same words that my boyfriend has been telling me. He really wanted to have our wedding well celebrated and greatly remembered... thanks for the reply, by the way :)
2 people like this
@albert2412 (1782)
• United States
22 Feb 07
The bible says that when two people get married they are no longer two people but have become one person for as long as they both live. Since God is uniting two people into one person it is better to get married before God in a church instead of a civil ceremony.
• Philippines
22 Feb 07
Thanks for the response albert. I do acknowledge your thoughts. :) Godbless!!
@kathy77 (7486)
• Australia
22 Feb 07
Yes a wedding is a big turning point in everyone life, and especially when I decided to get married I was married in a church in the eyes of our lord, this is my belief. I had a beautiful wedding and it was not a costly wedding and invited just my close family and friends. But there are a lot of people that just want to show off and spend far too much money on their wedding day.
2 people like this
@jhoanee (598)
• Philippines
22 Feb 07
the problem with church wedding is you will spent too much on it. while the civil its less expencess. but for practicality sake id to civil wedding. in church wedding the bride must wear the most nicest gown she thinks or likes regardless how much is it. and the couple have to think of the entourage gowns and to flowers, candles, receptions. every small details really need an attention and money. while in civil you dont have to wear the best gown in town, as long as its simple and casual. and few people are invited too. BUT if you can afford it then go for it. it would be nice if couple are wed in the church coz you will recieve the blessing the GOD.
@steney (1418)
• Philippines
22 Feb 07
I think you two should agree and meet somewhere in between. I'm surprised that among the two of you, your boyfriend is the one who wants a church wedding :) Mostly it's the girls who require that from their fiances. I agree with him that there's a big difference between being wed in civil rites and church rites. In a church wedding, couples are actually asking God to bless the union through a priest or minister, which for me, is more meaningful than being wed by the power of a judge/mayor/etc. If what you're concerned about is the financial side of the ceremony, I think that given careful planning, the wedding can be celebrated in a simple, elegant, and yet memorable event without causing you an arm and a leg. There are those who wed in civil rites and yet throw a lavish reception just like a church wedding. So it really depends on both your preferences. On the other hand, I do recommend civil rites to couples who are not sure of themselves and yet wants to get married :)
2 people like this
@LeXDei (209)
• Philippines
22 Feb 07
If permitted, I would want to have a wedding that I would say the best moment in my life. This is not just for me but for my parents and soon-to-be in-laws as well. I believe that parents would still want to see their children seal their love in the traditional way. I, however, believe that having a memorable wedding is not really about how much you spend for it. I'd rather have a simple but a solemn one that would be attended by people who are very dear to me.
2 people like this
@chadd_atl (288)
• United States
22 Feb 07
I think that depends on whether you want your marriage to be a spiritual thing or just a legal contract. I chose a church wedding because, personally, I consider marriage to be a sacred thing and it's covenant you make with someone before God and in the presence of friends. It's a celebration I wanted them to be a part of, not just a legality that we did before a judge or court.
2 people like this
@melody1011 (1663)
• India
22 Feb 07
I firmly believe that since you are a catholic or at least your boyfriend is, you need to get married in church as only then will you be married in the eyes of God. Civil marriage is just for the legal sake, and for formality. However, in a church you pledge yourself before God and all those present that you will be together to the end time. The beauty of a church marriage cannot be compared to the civil marriage. So dont go and invite everyone you know for your wedding. CHoose a few good friends and of course your family and be proud to get married in a church. I know cuase im getting marrie soon and can hardly wait for that ceremony. You dont have to make a big fuss though. A simple but meaningful ceremony is the best way to get married. Congratulations and best of luck
1 person likes this
• Philippines
22 Feb 07
Thanks for your thoughts and Congratulations!!!
@bindishah (2062)
• India
22 Feb 07
I would personalyl want a big wedding. You get married only once in life, therefore its a lifetime experience not to be foregone for practical reasons. So if you can afford it go all out.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
22 Feb 07
Hi there, thanks for the response... you really have the same views with my boyfriend..and I guess am giving in to him... :)
• United States
22 Feb 07
even when i'm thinking of a practical wedding , i would rather go for church than of the civil. we can arrange a simple & close family members for the wedding entourage & guests only as to give a very solemn & memorable memories that only cost the amount that we budget. we can made personalized give-aways or borrow / rent dresses only if you won't give a big budget for this then choose an elegant restaurant for the reception with just enough foods to the invited people. personalized program for the reception & simple activities to enlivin everybody. just pre-planned everything so that canvassing will help you a lot to save for the final choice.
1 person likes this
• Canada
22 Feb 07
I'm getting married in a civil ceremony. Well, as civil as you can get at the top of a mountain, but anyway. I always said that I didn't want a church wedding. It just doesn't feel right for me to get married in a church ceremony. I always wanted something a little different, and with a civil ceremony there is at least a little bit of leeway with things such as location and timing. For me, it feels much more intimate and personal without all the pomp of a church ceremony.
• Philippines
22 Feb 07
Thanks for your response...yeah, i also share the same thoughts with you and been telling my boyfriend bout this..but somehow, we also need to give consideration to his thoughts. I guess we both have to stand the same ground to make us a good couple. :)
@Joey322 (272)
• United States
22 Feb 07
nah, i don't think big 'dos are necessary at all for marriage. they are very costly and, well,frankly, that money could be put to soooo much better use! my husband and i quietly went to the courthouse and got hitched in a room that was being renovated and there was a tattered couch in the corner and the drop ceiling was partially removed and one could see the duct work in the ceiling!! the officiant was very nice, but very quick and i don't think i even really registered what she was saying, except that i knew when to say "i do". afterwards, we drove to an inn and spa and had a wonderful time gettting pampered with whirlpool baths in natural mineral waters and double massages. the best part, we arrived a tad early for check-in and we were a bit hungry, so we popped over to McDonald's and split a value meal!!!! i love our wedding story. it was all about us and we were selfish. we didn't include anyone else and we LOVE telling our wedding story. i got to wear my favorite jeans and a soft cashmere sweater. sure, a gorgeous wedding dress is fun and pretty, but there's nothing quite like your favorite jeans and a great sweater;) the best part...my parents gave us a check for about $10,000 since we saved them a bundle on the wedding! we used it to buy home appliances and furniture and things we needed to get our life started together! so, the point...there's nothing wrong with a civil wedding, however, make it special for you both. make it a story that is true to you both and you will love telling for years to come. take care.
• Philippines
22 Feb 07
Wow!!! that's a pretty cool wedding...I wonder if my boyfriend would like to have one of that kind coz I do. :)
• United States
22 Feb 07
Don't make a big fuss about how or where you should be married, however do make good points about what you are willing to spend and what you want to accomplish as a married couple. If you and your husband to be don't have any plans on purchasing a home or going on nice vacations then go ahead and spend an irrationable amount of money on something that only last for one day. Or think about your futures and how it would affect you to go all out on the wedding of your dreams. Don't forget marraige is truthfully a state of mind between you and your mate, you can have a civil wedding now and have a gorgeous wedding 5-10 years from now and actually be able to afford it.
1 person likes this