Betrayal Of A Sister

@Rozie37 (15499)
Turkmenistan
February 21, 2007 8:50pm CST
If you knew that your sister and her husband were not doing the best that they could for their children and you witnessed the kids living in a nasty environment, going to bed hungry often, and being left home alone at a young age. And you had spoke to her many times about doing what she could to improve the situation and she just kind of laughs it off, makes light of it, or blames her husband, saying, that he should do more, when it should be a partnership, can you see yourself getting fed up enough to call the Department of Social Services.
2 people like this
9 responses
@Debbera (22)
• United States
22 Feb 07
Be it a sister, a brother, an aunt, an uncle, a neighbor, whatever.. Yes, if I saw signs of abuse/neglect, I'd call CPS. You can call annonymously. You don't have to give your name or your relationship to the person you're calling about. Perhaps she just needs a wake-up call? Having CPS knock at your door can shake a person in two ways. They either get their act together or things get worse and the children are removed from the home.
3 people like this
@slickcut (8141)
• United States
22 Feb 07
I don't think so,because the dept Of social service will just go and visit and do nothing,and you would only fall out with your sister and not be there to lift a hand for the children...Let me explain....The child welfare or social services are only interested in child abuse mostly.if the children don,t have bruses .,and are not being starved they will not do anything about it..If you live close enough the best thing you can do to keep peace and help the children would to go there often and attend to some needs of the children..Just be a good aunt to the children..The child welfare are looking for child abuse not child neglect..all these things you say may be well be true but if they do not see bruses,or ribs showing from not eating or many trips to the hospital for abuse,I doubt they will do anything......I don't want to appear negative
@slickcut (8141)
• United States
22 Feb 07
but my friend went through this and those kids were starving and fuul of worms and they did nothing...all it did was caused a family fued..
1 person likes this
@Rozie37 (15499)
• Turkmenistan
22 Feb 07
I worded my post in such a way that you could not tell that this was something that I had already done. Call me a coward, but not when it comes to my nieces and nephews. I was living with them at the time and going to therapy and I would talk about the things that were going on and eventually things got so bad that my therapist asked for permission to call social services and I said yes. The situation was such that the children were eating out of the same bowls that they used to feed the dogs. The food would be left out on the table and we would find the cat on the table helping himself. Their parents would go to work and leave no money or food in the house and I would have to find a way to feed six kids. They slept on bare urine saturated mattresses with little to no covers. They would beg for food until they fell asleep. Even when there was food in the house, my sister would go out to eat before coming home and then not cook for the kids. My sister had told me that sometimes the house looked so bad that she did not want to come home. The house is in a very nice neighborhood, but their property made everyone elses look bad, so we never went to the neighborhood meeting. When the Social worker came, he gave them a week to get the house together. We cleaned and scrub, they went out and bought beds and dressers for the children and did what they could. When he came back the following week, he asked me secretly how things were going and I said they are doing the best thing they can. And he closed the case and left. A few months after I moved out, I e-mailed my sister and told her what I had done. We argued it out on the computer and after that I did not call her for about a month. She have since reconciled and her husband has done his best to curve his temper. The last time I was there the house was so beatiful it looked like Ty Pennington had been there and the kids were cleaning up, unlike before. I was sooooooo happy for them.
1 person likes this
@byfaithonly (10716)
• United States
22 Feb 07
Yes, I would do it in a heart beat. The parents may get in trouble and even lose the children but you have spoken to them and they choose not to do anything. Your duty is to protect the children because they can't protect themselves.
@pilbara (1436)
• Australia
22 Feb 07
I would feel very bad about it but I believe that I would. As you have done I would try to talk it over, but if they persist in putting their child or children at risk then they are not responsible parents and something should be done about it.
• United States
22 Feb 07
I'd try to step in on a personal level first, before calling outsiders in. Does that make any sense? It sounds like you're already trying to do that; if you feel comfortable stepping it up a notch and giving her fair warning that you expect x, y and z to change before q-date (and giving her a bona fide chance to remedy the situation) ... I'd say it would be a best shot effort. And before calling in authorities.
• United States
22 Feb 07
It sounds like your therapist's calling social services gave your sister and her husband the reality check they needed. I am so happy to hear that things are better! Too often neglected children continue to be neglected and that's definitely not right. Children don't deserve that. I believe whole-heartedly that you did the right thing in this situation.
@kesmi2 (6)
• Australia
27 Feb 07
as hard as it may be to report your sister the childrens safety and wellbeing should be the number one priority. when the children are safe than it is time to work on your relationship with your sister if this is possible
1 person likes this
@Jshean20 (14366)
• Canada
24 Feb 07
I wouldn't be able to watch my neices or nephews live like that. I would've done as you said and talked to her about it first, tried to open up her eyes and help her out if I could. Perhaps if she seen it as some sort of joke she might not be laughing too hard when social services knocks on the door..
1 person likes this
• United States
23 Feb 07
I could see myself getting fed up absolutely, I don't have any kids of my own but will someday. I don't know the whole situation, but it seems as if it is serious enough to call Child Protective Services and let them investigate the environment. It's not really betrayal you're just wanting to do whats best for the kids I wouldn't say you're a bad sister, you're just a good aunt....
1 person likes this
@kesmi2 (6)
• Australia
27 Feb 07
as hard as it may be to report your sister the childrens safety and wellbeing should be the number one priority. when the children are safe than it is time to work on your relationship with your sister if this is possible