What is the proper thing to do to build friendship here in mylot?

Philippines
February 22, 2007 10:19am CST
I'm very much curios about this for almost a month now, I accepted all the invites from all members who invited me to become a friend on thier friend's list then after awhile sometimes I browse to thier profile and look for discussion that I can really relate and post my respond. But what buggling my mind is that sometimes they just invite you and nothing follows. You will never see them posting a respond in any of your discussion. I'm planning to short list my friend's list in this coming days sort of my own way of clean up and I will do it monthly so I can really get in touch with discussion that my friend started as I really turn notify on to friends who really make a credible post to my discussion. What is the proper thing to do, to post a discussion first to someone who invited you or you should wait that member to post in your discussion. Your opinion will be highly appreciated. Thanks in advance.
15 people like this
43 responses
@honeyangel (1993)
22 Feb 07
i dont blaim you if your friends dont answer your post,then you should get rid of them,what the use of friend if they dont answer
5 people like this
• Philippines
22 Feb 07
I should really get rid of them really..but I really encounter one member that I deleted and then keeps on inviting me huh! what shall I do accept it and wait for a week and delete it lol!!! Thanks honeyangel.
3 people like this
• India
22 Feb 07
pl do visit and communicate through mail
2 people like this
@shywolf (4529)
• United States
22 Feb 07
I think that it depends personally on how you feel. I tend to accept new friends regardless, and when I get the chance I go through and turn notification to on for my new friends and will reply to their topics through email when I see something that I feel able to reply to. I don't generally go to their profiles and look for topics. I do that more with people who I am thinking about requesting as a friend personally, because I think that it's good to look over their topic list and see if you're really interested in what they have to post about before you request them as a friend, and hopefully reply to one of two of their topics right before you send the friend request, so that they'll know that you're actually interested in posting to them. But your friend list is a personal thing, no one can really tell you how to deal with it other than what your own heart tells you. I don't like to refuse anyone, they might want to reply to my topics someday! *laugh*
5 people like this
• Philippines
22 Feb 07
You really have a point shywolf lol!!! But what I really don't like is I turn on the nofication on to them and then I answer several discussion and still I don't see them on my discussion. Thanks shywolf.
4 people like this
@kgwat70 (13398)
• United States
23 Feb 07
I think it is good to do both post to one of their discussions and also wait and see if they reply to your discussion before adding someone on as a friend so that you know it is not a one way street with that person. I like having friends who have things in common with me or who give really wonderful and well thought answers.
• Philippines
23 Feb 07
I really think that was the key to have common interest and I will really manage to answer one of my friend's post as possible so that I can really knew that they have same interest with mine. Thanks kgwat!
2 people like this
@mipen2006 (5528)
• Australia
23 Feb 07
In my opinion this is no different to friendships in real life. In life you meet hundreds of people, some only once, others become aquaintances, and you greet them when you meet them, fewer become friends, and you meet these ones socially. Even fewer become real friends. We should treat the situation on myLot the same way. I only have about thirty friends and have already deleted one, who had a very high tally of myLot points. However, while I always respond to their discussions whenever possible*, they never reply to mine. It's a one way street, and I'm better off without them. I'm sure you have many loyal friends, maribel. *Sometimes, due to the nature of the discussion, it's not always possible to add anything to a discussion.
• Philippines
23 Feb 07
I really treat you as one of my best friend here mipen and I really appreciate all your views. I can say I'm lucky I have some really intellectual good friends of my list even majority of my list's are more on pictures lol!! Thanks my friend.
2 people like this
@marian_o9 (986)
• Australia
22 Feb 07
i think that it definitely should work both ways. i think that if u invite someone to be your friend it should be because you have common interests or you find their discussions relate to you. therefore you should reply to their discussions on a regular basis... and hopefully they would b kind enough to return the favour. in return, if someone invites you they should do the same and you should respond to their discussions in return. its only fair. and if everyone did this for each other on mylot we would have no problems ! =) thats my opinion. so hopefully all my friends will respond to my discussions as i definitely do theirs.
• Philippines
23 Feb 07
You really get the idea marian and you are doing great on building up friendship here on myLot. Thanks for being a friend to me.
2 people like this
@mywords18 (647)
• United States
22 Feb 07
well frndship any where stands on trust and understanding and yes being responsive eitherways always help,,,,,,,and makin frnds over net??well i never had any such experience so cant tell though.
• Philippines
23 Feb 07
I agree being responsive is the best key to a strong friendship on myLot. Thanks mywords.
2 people like this
• Canada
22 Feb 07
I usually accept friends requests regardless. I've only been here a little under a week and so this is still new to me. However, I go through the hot topics of the day and the top ones, and then I'll surf on through my friends profiles to see if they have anything I can respond to. I really don't mind so much that they don't reply to my discussions because I've only started a few. I'd much rather respond to other discussions. I did post a discussion last night because I was a little confused, and while I only got a couple of responses, they were good responses. I'm glad that there was someone who could help me out.
@kathy77 (7488)
• Australia
22 Feb 07
Yes I agree with what you are saying that a lot of members want you to become their friend but I think that a lot of them just want you to be their friend so that they will receive more responses to their discussions this is not working as a team, this is just using us. I have a list that I made and if that person is doing this or writting a discussion with only 1-2 lines of discussions then I have no option but to delete that so called friend. Hope this helps sort out your problem in regards to your friends list.
• Philippines
23 Feb 07
That's it kathy TEAM is the word that really signifies a good friendship for working alone here on myLot will be useless we have to build a good relationship to our friends. Owww! new avatar, nice.
2 people like this
@irisheyes (4375)
• United States
22 Feb 07
I don't usually accept every friend request. I don't like to be so selective but some just have too many friends alread and I don't see how they can reciprocate friendship. Others, I not only can't figure out why they want to be friends but I can't even phantom how they found me when we don't appear to have ever even been in the same discussion. Still, I find I also have to weed the garden of friends from time to time. I usually look first to discussions started by friends when I want to find a discussion to participate in. But after becoming aware of having left ten or more responses and never having gotten a responce in return, I delete the friend. I don't post much and I don't expect my friends to show up all the time. But I do expect a little response from them. I don't like feeling that I am just an audience member.
4 people like this
• Philippines
22 Feb 07
Very well said irisheyes. I really do the same thing when it comes to my friends here on myLot what seems to be the problem is that I can't really help myself accepting the invites and now I had a really tough time deleting some friends who just have to invite then never heard in any of your post. I will certainly be selective this time so the next thing around I will not allocate time on deleting nuisance friends. thanks irisheyes.
2 people like this
@worthy (2415)
• India
23 Feb 07
Maribel you have put down my thoughts in your post.I too have the same feeling. I had replied to one of posts a few weeks back and you invited me to be your friend.After that i replied to a couple of your discussions but did not find you replying to a mine. Maybe we don't really find the later discussions very attractive and so i thought you don't respond to my posts. What do you have to say for that?
3 people like this
• Philippines
23 Feb 07
Hi worthy sorry if I neglect posting in your posts for I was really bombarded with some discussion going on and some alerts that some friends of mine on my email and that's why I really have the thought of cleaning up my lists so I can concentrate on answering friends who are worth keeping. Sorry dear for that and rest assured that after I made major notify off on my friend's lists who are dormant for weeks I will really have time to post on your discussion that suited my interest for sometimes If I have nothing to contribute in that discussion I prefer not to post and wait for another discussion that I can really relate. Thanks for reminding me.
3 people like this
@worthy (2415)
• India
23 Feb 07
Thats absolutely find maribel.Now I understand your situation.And yes you are free to ignore the posts you can't relate too.Time and again I will drop in your posts for my comments.Thanks.
2 people like this
• Philippines
23 Feb 07
hi worthy thank you so much for your understanding.
1 person likes this
@bluewings (3857)
22 Feb 07
I think a good way is to select friends on Mylot from among people who answer in the same discussions as you do.That way you could be sure of having common interests and when you start a discussion they will be interested to respond there.Also, it's good to post quality posts in discussions they start or the ones they reply to.This will make them want to visit your profile page.When they do that they will check discussions that you started and respond to it.By the way, you have a really cool profile page there.
• Philippines
22 Feb 07
Hi bluewings! welcome to myLot! As a new member I think you can really go far here on myLot by being a supportive friend with friends you really share the same interest. Enjoy posting! Thanks bluewings.
2 people like this
@bluewings (3857)
22 Feb 07
Thanks for the welcome,Maribel :-) I've been enjoying my time here and would love to stay for a long time.Best Wishes to you too!
3 people like this
@dellion (6706)
• Malaysia
22 Feb 07
Me too was think very hard for the same issues not long ago and after months long on self monitoring I found out that in fact there's not much help or maybe I should call it any "Advantages" for most of the friends I accepts all the while. I try to responses to their discussions but found not every discussions was within my interests or I might not in a position to responses:( At the same time I do notice that most of the time those who responses to my discussions were only 30% to 50% were from my friend's lists. Personally I will always serach for few of my own favorite friend's discssions which I found they always have some good topics to responses to and beside that I will search around for any other interesting discussions that attracts me(Just like this one:)I will still accepts any friend's requests as I don't want to upset any members here especially those new members which I think no matter what the "friendships" still nice to be encourages:)
• Philippines
22 Feb 07
That was certainly true dellion that we should accept all friend's request no matter what is the intention of the invite and then give them the chance to be heard. But in able to build a strong relationship on myLot and can post to good discussion is that to select some intellectual friends who are not after for money alone but for learning too. Thanks dellion.
2 people like this
@dellion (6706)
• Malaysia
22 Feb 07
Thanks for your kind comments on my respond and I fully share the same views with you on the "Chances" & "Selected" friends to further enhance strong relationships with each other within the community:)
3 people like this
@Sir_bobby88 (8245)
• Singapore
23 Feb 07
I think being friendly is the basic to do out here yea . trying to respect people opionion also helps to build up friendship yea ...
3 people like this
• Philippines
23 Feb 07
That's why respect other people opinion will be one of the best thing to make a good friendship here. Thanks sir_bobby.
2 people like this
@byfaithonly (10716)
• United States
23 Feb 07
I've had people request friendships who have not done anything at all here - no discussions, no responses. I don't approve those. I suppose different people develope their friends list in different ways and for different reasons. I approve friends who have responded to my discussions and/or have posted discussions that are interesting to me. It's funny you are making a friends list - I did the same thing last night and then went through and looked to see who had responded to my discussions and who hadn't. It's not really fair that I do my very best to respond to my friends posts but many of them never respond to mine. Last night I deleted several "friends" who have done nothing on myLot, I mean if they've been here 6 months and only responded to 50 discussions they are not worth having on my list as far as I'm concerned. I want to have fun and meet people but I did join myLot to earn some extra money and I appreciate the help of all my friends.
• Philippines
23 Feb 07
I'm with you byfaithonly. It really makes sense that before we called a member our friend we should make a good conversation and exchange good views together on a certain interest other than that there is no use to call that member a friend. I think I have to allot time tonight to trim my list lol! Thanks my friend.
2 people like this
• Philippines
22 Feb 07
i think it is better for you to post a discussion first so that you will be sure that somehow you made an effort its up to the other to reciprocate
3 people like this
• Philippines
22 Feb 07
thanks sassy_zhai! Welcome to myLot.
1 person likes this
@aretha (2540)
• United States
22 Feb 07
thank you for posting this. i have a few friends that are gret here on mylot. they always try to post to my discussions and i always post to theres. kind of helping each other and it is nice to have that friend that you can count on. i also have a couple i was not sure what to do with i would feel bad if i took them off my list but they never reply to mine and i always respond to theres if i have some thing i want to add. like you i got the invites and that was it. its really upsetting. so thanks for posting this so i can read and get so info on what i should do.
3 people like this
• Philippines
22 Feb 07
You're very welcome aretha. I really want to clarify things that keeps bugging my mind for months which concern with friends here that's why I came up to this discussion. I was trying to short list my friend's list for I have nearly 300 now but I have never heard more than 200 lol!!! It was really hard for us to just delete them but we really never know who are active and not and who gave credible answer and who are spammers. I just welcome all the invites but have a certain time to delete those who are not really worth keeping. Thanks aretha.
3 people like this
@sigma77 (5385)
• United States
22 Feb 07
I don't know if there is a specific way to do this. It is a good practice to weed out those who never respond to your topics. You just don't know who will be active and who will not until you add them to your friends list. With time, you can tell who responds and who never responds. I think all of us have gone through the same things when trying to keep a good friends list.
3 people like this
• Philippines
22 Feb 07
I certainly agree with you sigma we really have to get rid of the friend's that we really never been seen on any of the discussion we have because I never see the point of having them on our friend's list then we never heard thier views. Thanks sigma.
2 people like this
• India
22 Feb 07
for good friendship you need to create faith in your friend
3 people like this
• Philippines
22 Feb 07
Thanks jain_bangalore.
2 people like this
• Portugal
22 Feb 07
Well I just started today and just as I log in I've got a friend invitation. I accepted it but I as not really sure what was it all about. The way I think we should use the friends sections to quick find the friends we have made here. People how we share thoughts and ideas, or simply people who we like. And if we find someone like that, we should take the initiative and make a friend request.
3 people like this
• Philippines
22 Feb 07
Hi rogertherabbit! Welcome to myLot! You have a good concept of what a friend is all about and I really see that you will become a good member here. Thanks for dropping a line and enjoy posting.
2 people like this
@weemam (13389)
22 Feb 07
I have so many friends and it worries me that I miss some out, I cancelled my e-mail alerts because the were quite frightening and I couldn't possibly answer them all . I try to go through the discussions my friends have started and hope I am not missing anyone out good luck xx
• Philippines
22 Feb 07
I do the same too weemam! I cancelled some of new members alert for it floaded by email with nonsense discussion that's why I really choose my friend who really made credible post and start a quality discussion. And for some that on my friend's list I really tried to visit thier profile and check if there is a discussion I can post. Thanks weemam.
2 people like this