"When do you leave a relationship?"

India
February 22, 2007 11:25am CST
This is a confused stage for my friend Neetha,who was in deep love with Rahul.he is very kind ,loving and neeths has always took great care for him.But she don't feel attracted to him anymore. At the same time she really fancy someone else ,who has made a move on her.but now he completely avoids her and doesn't seem to want to knpw her. Would she be wrong to give up her boyfriend because someone else has messed with her head.? She want to be with someonewho she really fancy, rather than her current relationship,but because they are so close to each other she is worried that she is doing the wrong thing by ending it. Does anyone know how to end a relationship??
4 people like this
46 responses
• Philippines
23 Feb 07
well i think i am on the same situation your friend is in.i am in a relationship with my boyfriend for 6 yrs.and i now,i just feel like there's no spark between us anymore.we're just holding back in really breaking up because we might regret it in the end.i'm just waiting for him to do something wrong (like having another girl) so i could find a very valid reason to break up with him.because falling out of love is not a valid reason to end up a well built relationship,you fall out of love because you choose to do so.there's no such thing as falling out of love,because you can always keep that love alive if you really want it to.so for now,i advice your friend to just hold on to the relationship,and try to make things work a little longer and see what happens.if she's not really happy anymore,then she could make up excuses,the "there's nothing wrong with you,it's me" statement is very popular.so i good luck to your friend!!godbless!
• India
23 Feb 07
i like the way you approached to the situation and i can suggest your method to her.its quite intresting that you wait for your boyfriend to make a mistake.good yaar.cheer up.girls should be practical.
• India
23 Feb 07
fiest of all is it ur friend neetha u r talking about or is it u through neetha!!!! well leave that aside...i think ur friend should resolve the matter with her presnt friend rahul by telling him what she feels and if he becomes arrogant and tries to do sumthing unhealthy ...that means she shud break up with him in one go......and if he understands tha matter and consoles her as a friend then she shud take him as a good friend who can give her gud advices.
• India
23 Feb 07
hey its my frnd neethu not me.i found her critical stage so i decided to help her out.thats all
@jhuana01 (54)
• Philippines
23 Feb 07
i guess when theres no respect, its the time to leave the relationship. sometimes love is not enough to stay, theres are a lot of things to consider. to have a one sided reltionship is very unfair,, youre holding on to nothing, youre loving to no one. And its really painful. If youre not really happy on your partner, let him go, but if you think that theres still a chance to save the relationship, yhen save it!
1 person likes this
• Philippines
23 Feb 07
The reason in ending a relationship must be heavy enough. Before ending a relationship, you have to think more than once because you might regret in the end. You have to be honest to your self and to your lover. You have to explain things to him and be open to him in whatever you feel and in whatever he would say in reaction.
1 person likes this
@jayalaksmi (1041)
• India
23 Feb 07
To end the relationship she should take some steps and confront his boyfiend about the fact and take the bye from him. If she really fancy someone else then its better to have him and not the one she is now with.
1 person likes this
@mlgb_24 (638)
23 Feb 07
it is better to end a relationship without someone else messing about with it. it needs to end if you're not happy anymore, if the magic of love is not there anymore or you would regret every single day for the rest of your life that you stayed in it. there is so much more to do, to free yourself from something that that does not complete you anymore..and you'll realise at the end of it all, that you are happier, more carefree, can do more in life. there are no rules really to end a relationship. you can always talk amicably with respect and be honest. it's the message and feelings that you convey which is important. the other person might take it constructively or destructively, so either way, you need to be prepared. good luck!!
1 person likes this
• India
23 Feb 07
if neetha relly wants to end the relationship between her and rahul then she should straight away tell it to rahul that she does'nt like him anymore!!!!! otherwise theres no way out....but she should be very carefull while taking any decision because after taking any decision theres no looking back!!! love is such a brittle relationship where even small factors can break the whole relationship... she should keep in mind that whatever she decides she should never regret that... the best thing to end a relation is to be as direct and straight forward as possible...if you go for a slower move....like hurting the person or avoiding him/her can sometimes result harmful to you as well....in my opinion a person should go for the kill!!!!!!!!instead of slow poisioning the relationship!!!!
@bindishah (2062)
• India
23 Feb 07
If you friend neeta got so easily influenced by another guy's attention then i think it is obvious that she is not really in love with her current bf. Maybe her feelings towards him have graduated to just friendship. Its not fair for her to remain with him under such circumstances and she should sit down with him and talk it out.
1 person likes this
@lextoper (573)
• Philippines
23 Feb 07
It is difficult to be in that situation, Just tell your friend that before she enters in a new relationship, she make it sure that she really love the guy. Its not that easy for a partner to simply thrown away for the reason she/he doesnt like her/him anymore.
1 person likes this
@stacyv81 (5904)
• United States
22 Feb 07
I think when you no longer want to be with them they should know relationships are about honesty
1 person likes this
• Philippines
22 Feb 07
i have my patient's i don't leave a relationship if i still love the person but onething that could weak me is that the attitude problem... and imature
• Philippines
22 Feb 07
Hi! This happened to me a few years ago. I was in a four year relationship but then I suddenly fell out of love with the guy. I tried and observed for a few months if the feeling would come back, but it didn't. I broke up with him because I didn't want to stay in a relationship with someone I'm not in love with. I know it's hard to let go of a relationship especially if it's a relationship that has lasted for years but your friend needs to get it over with because it's unfair to herself and her boyfriend if she stays even if she doesn't have feelings for him anymore. However, she should first observe and contemplate to be sure that she doesn't make the wrong decision. Hope this helps = )
1 person likes this
• United States
22 Feb 07
Well first of all if she is lucky enough to have a wonderful guy the way you described and he hasn't done her wrong than she would be crazy to leave him just because she wants to explore. - She knows what she has, she doesn't know what she is going to get. - and I mean the other guy is already dissing her (hellooooo) Is it really worth messing up a good thing and regretting it later???? Nevertheless, if she chooses to leave him then I would say that she do it very delicately. Honesty is always the best policy. Just sit the guy down and let him know that it is not him that is the problem. That she is just ready to spread her wings and see what else the world has for her. There is never an easy way of doing it and if her bf is still in love with her he is going to be hurt regardless. It is just that it is better to break it off than for her to cheat on him.
1 person likes this
• India
22 Feb 07
Neetha should leave Rahul right away, for it is clear that she does not and never did love Rahul at all. Love is not a thing which one can switch on and off according to one's will. What Neetha had for Rahul is infatuation and lust. And these two does not last for long. And what she is feeling for the other guy must also be the same. She wants to be with someone who fancy her? Then it is not love, she wants to give charity. It would do well if you tell her that her charity would be more welcome if she offers some money for orphans. I know I am a bit hard on her, but I really don't like people who treats love like dirt, which one can kick around anywhere they want. Love is sacred and beautiful and precious. It is not something which you have a choice over, but you are completely consumed in it. And it pains me to see what people do in the name of it.
@Giggles88 (542)
• United States
23 Feb 07
I think that if you don't love the other person anymore then you should leave the relationship, but first you should probably think about if you're really unattracted or not in love with him or if something else in your life is making you feel this way. I broke up with one of my exes because I wasn't attracted to him anymore and i didn't love him it was an empty relationship but later I realized that I felt that way because of other stress in my life. Just make sure you truly don't want to be with him before you leave him.
• Netherlands
23 Feb 07
You have to be true to yourself and your feelings. It is bad to stay with someone just because you are concerned with their feelings. It seems like the right thing to do but you are sacraficing your own happiness by doing this. It isn't fair to the other person if you are only doing it for their feelings and not out of sincerety. It is good to just outright explain to the partner that you feel that they are growing apart and it would be best to end the relationship so they can both pursuit other options. I WOULD NOT tell the other that there is someone else. I would keep the conversation only about the two people involved so it doesn't add to the sadness.
@porgie (268)
• United States
23 Feb 07
when there is no more respect!
• United States
23 Feb 07
Neetha needs to understand that she has to be true to herself. The guy she likes that hit on her no longer talks to her. That is her cue that for whatever reason that he is no longer interested. I think before you start a new relationship that you should respect and tend to the needs of the one you are in. Respect yourself and your partner. Be honest with one another. There will be many males who are attracted.You have to know and respect yourself before you can know and respect someone else.
• Philippines
23 Feb 07
I have experienced a little bit closer to that experience. I had a boyfriend for more than 2 years. I have loved him but time came when I fell for another man partly because I am no longer happy with my relationship at that time. What I did was I let him feel I'm already cold about our relationship. When he got mad about why I have changed, we fought and that was it! We just ended our relationship and never talked again. Lately, he's been communicating with me but I don't like to answer his calls anymore. I'm no longer in love with him. I know it's a mistake that I haven't told him the truth about my new lover. If i have told him, for sure, I will get physically hurt again because he used to box me and even slap me before. And now, I'm happy with the man I'm with right now.
@innechen (1321)
• Indonesia
23 Feb 07
some people are having a hard time in a relationship where they feel like breaking but afraid of regret it.actually its a situation that no one know what happens in the future.if she really feels that she dont like her bf anymore then talk to him, dont delay it too long because it'll hurt him even more when he find out from someone else.i never end a relationship because same as ur friend i'm afraid that i might regret it.