Cats instead of kids

@JuliaPan (564)
Canada
February 24, 2007 6:19pm CST
I've got a friend who is under 40 and she doesn't want to have kids. She prefers to "bring up" cats instead. Do you think it's natural for a woman?
5 people like this
12 responses
• Philippines
7 Mar 07
Well, if that's really her choice, we can never do something about it anymore. We know most women would long for kids. But there might also be women who don't want to bear any kids at all. In my own point of view, I don't think it's not normal because maybe it has something to do with the way they are brought up. Maybe these women were never been attached to any children before. Or they might have grown in an environment where they have been surrounded by animals. lol. BUt we never know. Take for instance one officemate that I have. We're on the same age at 21. But she's already married for 2 years. However, she and her husband don't want to have any children at all. THey both prefer to have some pets rather than children. SHe told us she's the only child in the family and never had any young nieces or nephews or cousins. SAme case with her husband. Her husband is the only child and grew up in a broken family where he only learned to support himself since he was in high school. :)
@JuliaPan (564)
• Canada
15 Mar 07
Thank you for your response. Well, you might be right, this may really depend on the way such women were brought up. My friend has a younger sister (who also has never had kids, by the way), and they always have had some pets in their house. But I wonder why your officemate and her husband, being the only children in their families, don't want to have kids at all. Perhaps, they are too young for it now and the situation will change in some years? I've always heard, that a person, who was the only child in the family, would have more than one kid (so at least one kid)!
2 people like this
• Canada
25 Feb 07
I think it is perfectly natural for a woman. Why do so many people think it's unnatural for women not to want to have kids? I am the same kind of woman who prefers to have my cat rather than to raise a child. I have "someone" around the house (another heartbeat and someone I can play with and cuddle) but I'm not completely tied down. I can leave my cat with a friend for a couple of weeks while I travel. It's harder to do that with kids.
4 people like this
@JuliaPan (564)
• Canada
25 Feb 07
I see. Thanks for your response. If you feel quite OK about not having kids, then it's your choice and your right to be happy in your way.
3 people like this
• United States
25 Feb 07
Some people don't want children. So what's the problem? If she prefers cats and is happy with them, does it hurt anyone?
4 people like this
@JuliaPan (564)
• Canada
25 Feb 07
No it doesn't. If everyone's happy, then that's all right.
3 people like this
@wsue1023 (1396)
• United States
25 Feb 07
Probably not the norm, but there's nothing wrong with it and in fact if she doesn't want to have kids, probably shouldn't be a parent. I've known a couple women in my life who had no desire to be a mom. I couldn't relate, but respect them just the same.
@JuliaPan (564)
• Canada
25 Feb 07
Yes, one should respect everyone. She said once that she doesn't have any passion for little babies, she hates when someone lisps with them, etc. May be you're right, she probably shouldn't be a parent. On the other hand, people do change under the circumstances.
3 people like this
@cikedo (3487)
• United States
7 Mar 07
Your friend sounds a lot like me. I've never wanted to have my own children, but still enjoy the company/raising of pets. Some people just don't like children.
3 people like this
• United States
7 Mar 07
I think that it's just up to the individual person. Some women don't care to have kids. And they replace them with soomething else. For example, your friend with the cats. Maybe thats her idea of children becasue she doesn't have to provide constant care, and they aren't as expensive!!
3 people like this
@kaplya (1578)
• India
7 Mar 07
it's just the way some people r!! i don't find anything unnatural in it as i myself have a little inclination towards that!:)i think the mentality behind this is that for some women children r somewhat a trouble i mean raising them, dedicating all time to their care and other hassels of that kind. there's also some emotional insecurity involved as when children will grow up and become independent,they won't always agree with u,they won't need u anymore and will go on their own way. this means they r not going to be by ur side always. on the other hand a pet is going to be always with u, will be dependent on u, it won't agree or disagree with u so there's less emotional stress/pain and feeling of insecurity. hope i m clear in my meaning:)
2 people like this
@JuliaPan (564)
• Canada
15 Mar 07
Well, the arguments you've given are quite sound. But I think kids shouldn't be always with parents, it's not normal I think, and parents should accept this sooner or later. Anyway, it's up to the person to decide what kind of life to choose. If the person feels quite happy, then it's all right. Thank you for the post :)
2 people like this
@kaplya (1578)
• India
18 Mar 07
hi Julia, thanx for this selection:)
1 person likes this
@MissMo (170)
• United States
15 Mar 07
I think this is perfectly normal. A lot of women don't want kids, and would prefer to have a pet to keep them company. These days, women have the right to chose what kind of life they lead, and there's nothing wrong with what she's chosen. Would you be questioning if it was natural if the situation was that a man would prefer to have a dog than a child?
2 people like this
@JuliaPan (564)
• Canada
15 Mar 07
As for me, I haven't met a lot of women who don't want kids. Just on the contrary, I've got lots of friends - both girls and boys, of about my age - who do think it's right and natural to have kids. That's why I've started the discussion, to see what others think about it. :) And I don't say it's something "wrong". Now I see there are many women over here having the same opinion about having kids as friend does.
2 people like this
@mehale (2200)
• United States
18 Mar 07
It has become much more common today for people to not want to have children. Sometimes this is because they prefer to have a career, and sometimes it is money related. Raising children is a very expensive task! There are also many people who cannot have children, and must content themselves with other things such as pets and jobs. The world that we live in today is a very different place than it once was. I do not know if the days of large families will ever return.
1 person likes this
@JuliaPan (564)
• Canada
19 Mar 07
I think these days will return, but who knows when, in 50 years or in 500 years... Time goes by, different societies swap over bringing new cultures and priorities. Thank you for your response.
• Philippines
19 Mar 07
Some people or couples don't even want children because of the responsiblity and the upbringing of a child. Yes, some are even scared of children due to some reasons. It is normal for the woman to choose this path because it's how she wants to live her life. Although somewhat lonely, at least she has someone to talk to without arguing or fighting over with. Downside to that is, people tend to loose social interaction and may be deemed as wierd to others, but to them, they think they are living normally. I for one, would like to raise cats instead of kids. Not that I'm a child hater, it's just that I may not have the confidence to raise a child.
1 person likes this
@ESKARENA1 (18299)
19 Mar 07
a lot of women in this age bracket will pick child substitutes in front of children anytime, much less fuss
@beckyomg1 (6759)
• United States
19 Mar 07
THat kinda was a joke i had with one of my friends, when i was having problems with my kids,i told her dont have kids just have cats.