Now that we're parents, we don't..........

Bar - Alcoholic drinks sitting on a bar.
United States
February 24, 2007 11:58pm CST
Since my husband and I have gotten married and had our first child we don't go to bars anymore and drink. It's not that I miss it or anything like that, because I don't at all. It's just one of those things that just happened to change when I had my little bundle of joy. What changed when you had your first child?
11 people like this
25 responses
@JackBravo (970)
• United States
26 Feb 07
I'm actually afraid of teh same thing happening to us. I mean, where's the line between your life and your kids' lives. I guess though that once you have kids you have to give up yours. Maybe taht's what the babysitter is for I guess. But who can trust babysitters these days?? I wish that we could live next to our inlwas or parents!
1 person likes this
@lillake (1635)
• United States
26 Feb 07
I used to be afraid, but once you ahve kids you find out how much more fun you can have with your children than going out. It is a different kind of fun, but much better than before.
@_hope_ (3917)
• Australia
25 Feb 07
It`s funny but clubbing is a stage in your life that you go through and once you have a child of your own i think you realise that there are some things more important than drinking .It`s something that comes naturally to most of us ,mind you i have looked after children whos parents continue to party on and i feel for those littlies as they are not teaching their children the rite things
• United States
26 Feb 07
but clubbing rocks! especially in vegas!
• Canada
26 Feb 07
My children are older now (13 and 16) and I am remarried but, when I was with their father and first had the girls, many things changed. The most critical thing is that we became parents and forgot to be a couple. All of our focus was directed to the children. I was the first to really notice this and I worked very hard to remind my ex that, in addition to be a mom and dad, we were still husband and wife and lovers. He didn't turn around. He slowly started shifting all of his attention to the kids... to the point that I never even received Christmas gifts anymore because "all our money should be spent on the kids." I really believe that his behavior made the biggest contribution to our marriage falling apart. He never wanted to go anywhere (not even to a movie or dinner) and, if we did go anywhere, he was asking "When are we going to get home?" before we ever set foot out the door. I love my girls to the core of my being and the dynamic in our household now is very different. My husband (we've been married 3 years) became a stepdad without ever having a biological child of his own...so I guess he went through the same "first child" experiences, just at a later age LOL We make sure that we have plenty of time together as a couple, even if it means doing things together at home, in addition to planning family activities. It makes a world of difference :)
1 person likes this
@7nicole1 (1634)
• Canada
26 Feb 07
Alot of things changed for me once I had kids like I couldnt keep hanging out with the same people anymore because they were to extreme to have around my family and yes the whole bar and club scene ended once the kids came into the picture. So much changes when you have kids and sometimes I find myself asking was it worth it then I look at my kids and realize it was.
1 person likes this
@disvachic (10125)
• United States
25 Feb 07
I am a single mother and alot of things did change for me.I stopped going to clubs and parties when i had my first which was long time ago.i was 18.Thease days i will go out with my girlfriends every now and then for girls nite out.I still have my life but i just dont do all that partying like i use to.Been there done that.I try to set a good example for my children.
1 person likes this
• United States
25 Feb 07
I think about this often as my husband and I have been together for years, our oldest is 17 now and our youngest is 4, of course we have some in the middle to. I was just thinking the other day that it has been more than a year since my husband and I have even been out to dinner without having any of our children with us. After our first baby was born we did not any longer go to the bars but it seems that since we have had all of our children we just don't go out and do anything anymore. Even with not going out and so much changing as less intimate time togeter, we still love each other just as much as in the beginning.
@Weskom (25)
• United States
25 Feb 07
Sounds like you are growing up. It's a great feeling and sometimes it takes a child to help you along. You are right in putting your child ahead of such pleasures. You will never regret that. I'm sure that I gave up a few things when my kids came along and now I can't even remember what they are. I don't really care, cause I raised them right and in return they gave me some beautiful grandkids. Forge ahead, bodly.
1 person likes this
@jolanda33 (721)
• Netherlands
25 Feb 07
ofcourse there changes things, but only a lot if you want that to be a lot! i mean i like shopping and just bring my kids with me! i don't like bars so i don't miss that at all! i still can go to the gym in the evening. oke when it comes up to partys and birtdays. yes that changed! because i don't want to use a babysitter every week just for a birthday. when it is in the evening and close family we bring them with us and i leave early and my husband stays, or we put them into bed there! and waking up late that's a dream right now! thank god both of my kids wake up between 7.30 and 8.00 in the morning!
1 person likes this
• United States
25 Feb 07
we dont go to movies, we dont travel, we dont get more than 2 hours with each other...but you know what? its all worth it. I watch my daughter growing up and being such a bright sweet POLITE child and it amazes me so much. I mean if i have to sacrifice a couple overpriced movies and a couple days of traveling with gas being so expensive i think i can deal with that!
1 person likes this
• United States
25 Feb 07
Oh my gosh! Lets see, we don't smoke anymore, we don't go out as much, we don't curse as much, we don't eat out as much, we don't get to sleep in, we have no choice but to stay up late lol and I HAVE to do laundry EVERY day now....when it was just the 2 of us I could do it every 3 days and we were fine, but even with just one extra body, for some reason the clothes just pile up! Like you said, I don't miss it, heck I wouldn't take any of it back for the world! :)
1 person likes this
@cherriemae (3375)
• Philippines
25 Feb 07
When i had my first baby,i can't attend parties with some of my friends, don't go to bars, but i's my choice because i need to have more time for my child..I've gone through different things when i'm single, but now it's a need to be a responsible one because now we're already parents. Need to changed some things of our lives being a parent..I'm still happy, though i can't attend parties or dont even go to bars because it's the another chapter of my life, being a mother...
• Philippines
25 Feb 07
It is a right decision you had to stay out of bars and spend the night out of home. Your having become a parent made you take this proper decision. I should say that your love for your child made this very easy for you to do. I used to be fearless. I can go out anytime of the night or day anywhere I'd decide to throwing cautions to the wind as to what will be the repercussions of what I am doing. Once I had my first child, I stopped doing it immediately. I feel that it will be a disaster if my child shall be orphaned of a mother she deserves to look after her until maturity.
1 person likes this
@cjthedog64 (1554)
• United States
26 Feb 07
We don't get much time to sit and talk, or cuddle. We also don't get out much as a couple anymore. That's not so bad because DS is usually wonderful when we go out, but it's nice to not have to worry about naptime or diaper changes. We do try to make a point to spend time together when we can, and to work together to get things done so we can both relax a little.
@jmp824 (741)
• Philippines
26 Feb 07
A lot changes happened when we got married plus the kids. Before we used to go to movies every weekend, but now, i cant remember when was the last time we went together to watch a movie. We were thinking that instead of going there in the moviehouse why not just buy or rent a dvd and watch together with the kids. Saves money and more time with the family especially that we are both working from mondays thru fridays. Second is dining out in restaurants, we seldom do this now, cos we are always in a hurry to be home before the kids dwell into sleep. We want to make sure that everything goes fine with them in school and with their nanny at home. Now when we go out, we usually bring the kids with us, so they could also enjoy and we just want to spend time with them. Thats all. But in one way or another, we go out on dates with hubby, just the two of us. Jus to relax, chill, not with the kids. COs sometimes kids are so stressful and strenous... :). I think you should also give time to yourself to enjoy and relax. Having time with oneself and with the family.
• United States
25 Feb 07
The hardest thing for me when I had my first child was that she was so depended on me. I was only 16 and thank god I had my parents to help me out. I now have three children and the hardest part is to make time for all of them in one day. I love them like crazy but they are 4 months, 2, and 7 and sometimes there is just not enough time in a day to show all of them how much I love them.
@aretha (2540)
• United States
25 Feb 07
alot changed for us after we had our first. i stopped working and the hubby got a different job we stop going out and doing anything and just enjoyed staying home. its not a hard change for most of us. like you we didn't miss it. it was a nice change
@alindahaw (1219)
• Philippines
25 Feb 07
When we had our first child we were so happy that we were contented to stay home most of the time. We ended up setting up a home business where we can have flexible working schedules.
@tammytwo (4305)
• United States
25 Feb 07
I was only 17 when I had my first one so I had to grow up really fast. I had no time hanging out with the friends.
@edigital (2711)
• United States
25 Feb 07
Good parenting God bless you couple like you and their kids. I have leaved many habits having kids as many works can be done before marriage and before kids born but after that some of those must leave for ever otherwise life may not happy or God will give us sorrow for our misleaded work.
• United States
25 Feb 07
When I had my first child it changed me drastically no more life in the fast lane and the next 3 calmed me even more. I realized that life is so much more than partying and having a good time.