Ive hit Rock Bottom.

United States
February 25, 2007 11:47am CST
I have had it. I can home from work yester day and had a break down. I am down to one pair of pants that fit. I went to put on my pants that used to fit and they ripped on me. I am stressed and depressed. I eat when I feel depressed and gain weight so I get depressed nd eat more. I am in a horible circle I cant get away from. I need help. I need ideas on how to live a hectic life and not eat junk all day. I need some motivation and will power to keep me going. I need a mentor or someone to be accountable to. And I need this al with out spending money cause that would cause me more stress and then I would feel like I needed to eat more. Is anyone else going through this? Does any one have any tips, advice, or help for me? I cant do this any more.
5 people like this
33 responses
@Ellecee (102)
• United States
25 Feb 07
sparkpeople is a fantastic website-It is free! You can keep track of your daily calories taken in and your exercise. They also provide a meal plan if you'd like to follow one. There's a very supportive message board there as well. I've lost a lot of weight during the past ten years. If you'd like someone to talk to, feel free to contact me. I'm also an emotional eater. It is a very horrible cycle. I recently injured myself and was unable to exercise. Because I was unable to exercise, I got depressed and went on a binge. Put on 10 pounds! But, I'm starting out slow again to take off that weight plus a little more.
4 people like this
• United States
25 Feb 07
I haven't heard of that website, I have used the fitday program before and I liked that, I may have to check out this one too.
3 people like this
• United States
26 Feb 07
I have never heard of sparkpeople either. I like the idea of being able to track calories. It might take out some of the thinking stress for me. I love all the support I am getting here. Sometimes I think I need all myweigh off and it needs to come of now. Your taking it slow comment helped me calm down a bit.
@ycswid (279)
• Canada
7 Mar 07
I definitely recommend Sparkpeople.com. I've been using it for 4 months and am down 20 lbs. There is a wealth of information available on this site as well as forums/groups that you can join to help you with your accountability. The resources available are top notch, with articles on nutrition, fitness, motivation and health and wellness. I have learned so much over the last few months. It's completely unbelievable that it is really free!
@ctinabina (386)
• United States
25 Feb 07
You may benefit from speaking to a counselor about emotional eating and depression. He or she will help you create more constructive ways to deal with your emotions and help you fight depression. I think that what you are going through is not uncommon -- eating due to depression or stress. Taking some time out to discuss these issues with a counselor, therapist, or psychologist would greatly help your overall wellbeing, in my opinion. Also, for some practical eating-related tips, get rid of all of the unhealthy foods and beverages in your home. Stock up instead on fruits and vegetables. Cook up some healthy low-fat and low-calorie meals and put them in the freezer for easy access. Bring your own lunch to work. Drink water and tea- no juice or soda. When you are stressed/bored at work, instead of eating make a cup of tea or walk around the building/office for a minute or two. Try and eat a breakfast that includes some protein (like egg whites) and high-fiber (to keep you full longer). But, most importantly, FORGIVE yourself for getting off track. Self-forgiveness I think is one of the most important steps to getting back on a program. COnsider the last break down as just a hiatus from your overall goal. Oh, and one last thing, you may want to consider keeping a journal and writing down your goal and write about your feelings along the way to the goal. You can start with small goals leading up to a bigger one, like cutting out sodas and juice for 1 week (small goal) leading up to going for at least a 30 min walk 4 times a week for a month (larger goal).
• United States
25 Feb 07
I have found a journal very helpfull. it really helps you keep track of what your eating.
4 people like this
• United States
26 Feb 07
I have thought about a counselor before. I wasnt sure if it would really help, but it might be worth a try. I talked to my OB and he put me on prozac but it clashed with me and so he took me off it. I had a bad reaction and decided to try out exercising to combat it. The exercise did help but I got overwhelmed with life and let my self slip. I think you hit the nail on the head. I do need to forgive my self. I am way to hard on mistakes I make and I am my own worst enemy. The journal is a great idea. I think it will help me feel better and talk things out in my head. I will dig an empty notebook out of the cloet and begin today. Thanks.
1 person likes this
• United States
25 Feb 07
Oh my, I was in the position as well. I worked as a social worker in Florida, and I was on the road, visiting children, going to court, going to treatment team meetings, visiting parents... it was endless. I ate junk all the time, and by the time I got home, I was so tired, who could think about making something healthy and good to eat. I asked around at the office and I got some good suggestions... Why not try: Crock pot cooking. This is the best way to ensure you have a good, home-cooked meal that can be as healthy as the food you put into it. Some of the frozen crock pot dinners are pretty good, and you can save the left overs to heat up in a microwave. Any frozen chicken around? Put it in the crock pot with some bbq sauce and you have nice and tasty chicken when you get home, with a little cole slaw or salad and a frozen vegetable popped in the microwave. Anything can be put in the crock pot... well just about anything. Invest in a cooler for your car with some frozen packs or things that can be refrozen. Keep in it, sugar free jello, pudding, carrot sticks and fat free dressing for dipping, cheese cubes, yogurt, salads, etc. This will be good for fast snacks and lunches on the run. If you get an hour for lunch, eat your lunch in 30 minutes and take a walk around your building for 30 minutes. This is fun to do if you can encourage others in the office to do it with you. If the weather is bad, try going up and down the stairs a few times, if your office has more than one floor. Take the stairs anyway, and not the elevator. If you have multiple floors to go up or down, take the stairs for a few floors and the elevator the rest of the floors. After you've been at your desk for an hour or so, walk around for ten minutes, and don't do anything work related. Just walk. Walking is the best way to stay active, that I've found. If possible, try to listen to soothing music in the office. If you are in your car, listen to the soothing music there. Decide what music is soothing for you and keep CDs around to decompress whenever needed. Stretch! Get up and stretch when you feel tired or stressed. Set small, attainable goals. If you plan to walk for ten minutes, then set a goal to walk ten minutes today. Eat breakfast!!!! The most important meal of the day. I used to love to eat fruit smooth yogurt with Grape Nuts cereal mixed in. It's delicious, filling and good for you. Remember, fat free yogurt, no sugar added. Keep a journal of your feelings. It's good to keep a journal of your food intake, but try not to keep the journals in the same notebook/book, as you can get very frustrated and avoid the journal. These are few things that worked for me. Good luck and keep us posted on how you are doing.
3 people like this
• United States
26 Feb 07
I stay home with my 2 kids Monday - Thursday. I work nights and weekends. It is hard because I am always on the go like you and I reach for what I can. Usualy it isnt the healthiest snack. I eat with my kids and I am also worried about the example I am setting for them. At my paying job I run the whole time making sure every one has what they need, but we feed them snacks which I eat too. I am definately going to try to sneak in 10 minutes of exercise here and there. Any bit helps right? Thanks for your well wishes. I will post back as I try to regain control.
1 person likes this
@kgwat70 (13396)
• United States
26 Feb 07
I too eat a lot when I am depressed. It is the types of foods that you are eating that is causing the weight gain, not necessarily how much you are eating. You should try eating fruits, salads, veggies, water, milk and other healthy snacks or foods or drinks. Drinking a lot of water will not cost you much money. I too hate it when my clothes do not fit properly but that tells me that I am putting on weight and need to watch the foods that I am eating.
• United States
26 Feb 07
I love it when summer is finaly here because I can snack out of my garden. It is hard to keep healthy food around all the time. Eating snacks is one of my life vices.
• United States
26 Feb 07
Keep your head up. Thats a famous quote, and has to be done to over come any obsticle in life. THANKS!
2 people like this
• United States
26 Feb 07
That is great advice. Simple but to the point. I will try harder to Keep my head up.
@dfinster (3535)
• United States
25 Feb 07
I put on a lot of weight last year when I was at home all day with my daughter. I ate every time she ate and started nibbling when I was cooking and eating junk food on a regular basis. I ran around in sweats all the time because I didn't have to really go anywhere except the local grocery store. When I finally did get a night out w/ friends I remember trying to get dressed and almost have to cancel because every pair of jeans I tried to put on either didn't close or go over my hips. Once I got out of the house to work and the weather was nice so I could be outside more I went back to my normal weight eventually. I don't think you need to have a hectic life to not eat junk,I think maybe it's having something to distract you away from the junk food and put your mind somewhere else. Seems like if I'm out of the house and busy I get distracted from food, maybe that could help you too.
2 people like this
• United States
26 Feb 07
I was thinking I could get my kids into a class or something to keep us busy. We dont get out enough. I am just worried about the cost of trying to stay out of the house. I was thinking maybe we could go find some voulenteering chances, but my kids are 5 and 2. Is that to young?
25 Feb 07
God bless you for being so honest with yourself. I am currently 19 stone and was over 21 stone last November. My family went through a period of stress two years ago and I just piled the weight on - drinking 20 cups of coffee a day did not help. I went bankrupt, that was my problem, but rather than face the crisis and do something about it, I denied there was anything wrong, so I was sad. You need to fill a very large bowl in your living room with fruit - even carrot sticks and cucumber, when you feel hungry, just reach for the fruit bowl. Also take up long walks - the weather is getting warmer, so get out and walk those pounds off, its really amazing how much better you will feel - Good luck with it !
2 people like this
• United States
26 Feb 07
I am really excited about the warmer weather. There is a park with a walking path not to far from my home. I am going to get out there and take care of my self, or at least that is the plan. I find excuses to easy. No more excuses! Im going to start walking.
@wsue1023 (1396)
• United States
26 Feb 07
I hope you read this, because I was soooo were you are a couple years ago. Same story! I also hit rock bottom. For me it was realizing I could no longer shop in the regular clothing department for women, but had to go to the plus sizes. That was a first for me, even though I'd always been a few lbs overweight I was now a good 70 lbs heavier than I probably should have been. The first thing I did was visit my doctor because it turned out some of my problems were related to my thyroid which I knew was underactive, but the medication I was on wasn't working for me. So, for anyone that's feeling sluggish, not that you said you were, but if so, have it checked out. The next thing I'd do is start slow by walking everyday. Just walk until you feel like you're starting to run out of energy, then turn around and head home. If that's just a few blocks, that's ok. You want to start somewhere. Drink 64 oz of water a day. This is vital. Also eat many times throughout the day, never skipping breakfast, but when you eat make sure you're eating just a handful at a time, never a large meal. Don't eat to get full, just nibble all day long. It's really good for your metabolism and once you get used to doing this (will take a couple weeks) you won't miss your old lifestyle at all. I also cut my calories back to 1200 -1500 a day which to be honest almost killed me the first two weeks. Once you make it through that period though it get's so much easier and just like with the small meals several times a day, you will really dig the new way of eating! Obviously try and make your calories count, but sometimes we crave chocolate! When I get these cravings I eat a tsp of chocolate ovaltine (dry). Sounds weird right? Actually it's good, loaded with vitamins, and takes care of my chocolate cravings. I think there are about 20 cals in a tsp. so I don't have to cheat to do this! If you eat a lot of protien it will help with hunger. I always start the day with a scrambled egg, sometimes two... no butter. Good luck! You can do it! You should find a diet/weightloss partner, even a walking partner. That is a huge help in getting you out the door and moving. I had one last summer and she made me go a few times when I was dragging! I didn't appreciate it until we were out and moving... then I felt great!
@wsue1023 (1396)
• United States
26 Feb 07
Sorry, when I wrote you a book I forgot to mention that I lost 25 last year and 25 the year before. I have about 15 more to go. You can do it too!!! Hang in there my friend... keep thinking happy thoughts and don't buy too many replacement pants because you won't need them long!
@sigma77 (5385)
• United States
26 Feb 07
I agree with everything you said except cutting back the calories. If a person is exercising and increasing their metabolic rate, they should be increasing their calorie intake to support the higher rate, this is so muscle does not get reduced. But if what you have done works for you, than I am glad it does.
• United States
26 Feb 07
Im my mind it sounds like suffering but you made it sound s easy. I start diets and get burned out, I will begin again and hold out past the 2 week mark. It makes sense to start it like a new habit. I did the protein diet once but the cost was amazing. I got to the point all I had was eggs because all the meat and cheese depleated my food budget so fast. This time I know to mae small changes. I did lose 18 pounds though, which all came back on as soon as I went off it. I think I need to change my lifestyle forever and when I diet I think, when I lose weight I can have that. I need to chance my mind set.
@prestocaro (1254)
• United States
25 Feb 07
if you feel depressed, one of the best things you can do is take long walks in the morning. try to get up a little earlier than usual and take a 30 minute walk, no where in particular. i am not recommending this for weight loss, i am just saying it makes me feel better when i make it a daily habit. walking (or any kind of physical activity) increases your seratonin levels and getting the morning sun can increase your vitamin D levels, both of which make you feel better (emotionally). an added side effect is the fact that 1. it burns calories and 2. walking in the morning helps boost your metabolism for the rest of the day. i hope you feel better no matter what you do, i know what a vicious cycle it is! i'm trying to just be happy and healthy and i wish you the same.
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Feb 07
I think just changing my attitude would make all the difference in the world. I cant leave in the morning because I have 2 small kids at home but I sure could get an exercise video. Maybe starting out on the right foot would be enough to get the ball rolling in the right direction.
• United States
27 Feb 07
do you have a double stroller? or a stroller and a snugli? i'm sure your kids would love the fresh air, too. but i know how chaotic morning time can be with little ones :)
• United States
28 Feb 07
I do have a double stroller, but it wont trudge through the snow right now. Onle a few weeks away and I can get on the walking path. Plus my kids love the park which has a path around it. Now I just need to get there.
@TiffanieC (827)
• United States
27 Feb 07
I'm very sorry for what you are going through. You need to take control of your life and you may need help in doing that. If you are depressed then I would suggest getting evaluated by a Dr for one. Keep lots of healthy snacks around. Eat 3 small meals and 3 small snacks every day. That is SIX times a day. DO NOT TRY TO STARVE YOURSELF OR YOUR BODY WILL GO INTO STARVATION MODE MAKING IT HARDER TO LOSE WEIGHT! Figure out how many calories you should be eating.. how much without gaining weight/how much to lose weight. Incorp. some exercise into your day.. try to make it fun. Don't force yourself into doing something you hate! If you like swimming, do that.. you can do some pool exercises while you are in there. If you think dancing is fun, go out dancing or get one of those dance mat video games or some workout videos that focus on dance. Maybe while you are home with the kids you guys can go out on walks. One of the MAIN things I can tell you is LEARN what the calories and fat are of the things you eat, sometimes just having the knowledge will help you make healthier choices. (example) Instead of picking up a few oreo cookies, try getting the 100 calorie pack oreo crisps (they are really good). If chips are your thing, buy the baked chips instead.. (baked lays are awesome! I prefer them to the regular chips) See, so if you don't think you can totally change your lifestyle, even making a few simple changes will help!! Don't go on a crash diet or deprive yourself or you will gain it all back plus some. First, just try to make a few small changes at a time. Find some support groups online and maybe check out an overeaters anon. meeting in your area. I feel for you. I don't understand what it's like to eat when you are stressed and depressed because the exact opposite happens to me but I am still overweight. Also, if you don't already.. try to incorp. some veggies into your diet (be careful about salads though because sometimes the dressing can be as bad as eating a burger).. If you go through the McDonalds drive thru.. order the grilled chicken sandwich, it's sooooooo yummy!!! If you want something sweet with it, get the fruit and yogurt parfait (I love it!) Just remember, start off with some small changes at first. Also, go get a physical!!! Have them check your blood! There could be physical reasons why you keep gaining weight or why you have such cravings. Also, if you find out you have high cholesterol or high blood pressure, or are on the verge of getting diabetes, these things can be major motivators! Good luck!! I am trying to lose weight and quit smoking at the same time, very difficult!
• United States
7 Mar 07
I need to get more discipline. I used to count calories. Now I run all day after kids and usulay have a treat close by. I have gotten rid of most of the junk, now it is just over eating. I have never thought of joining a local group before. I considered weight watchers but the cost is something we cant do right now. Debt is part of my stress so I dont want to add to my monthly bills. There might be free support groups out there. I will look into it.
@feralwoman (2199)
• Australia
26 Feb 07
Oh Happythoughts, I really feel for you because i've been there and come out of the other side. I know what it's like when nothing fits and it's so disheartening that all you want to do is eat - but that only makes the problem worse! Have you been medically diagnosed with depression - if not, please go and see a doctor and tell him/her how you feel. If you have - are you on medication. If so, your medication could be making you feel like eating more - a common side effect. Get it changed immediately if this is the case. Things you could do to break this vicious circle you find yourself in are: Go for walks (physical excercise releases "feel good" endorphins into your body), you'll feel happier and be getting some excercise at the same time! Go through your pantry and chuck out all the bad stuff! Hard I know, but you have to be committed to do this. Try and go on a healthy eating regimen. I don't mean a "diet" because they don't work. Change your eating habits. Go for high fibre foods eg brown rice, wholemeal bread & pasta. These will fill you up and leave you feeling satisfied for longer than sugary/fatty things that just give you a quick rush and leave you wanting more. Make a list of all the things that make you happy. Whenever you feel sad or down in the dumps, get the list out and choose something from it. Take time out from your hectic life to just chill if you can. Meditation is good. Sit somewhere quiet if you can and try and think of nothing. If you ever have any free time - try Tai Chi, this is a real goodie for relaxing you, and keeping fit! Unfortunately the only person you need to be accountable to is you. Good luck in your efforts - I really do hope some of this has helped you. lol
• United States
7 Mar 07
I did go to the doctor and he put me on meds that made the depression worse. I decided with him as well that I just needed to change my life up. I let my self get down adn I told him I thought if I began exercising I would feel better and it would all be under control. I just didnt stick with the exercising real well but I am working on that too. I am trying to get on a better schedual for it all.
• United States
26 Feb 07
Have you checked out the website Sparkpeople.com? I haven't gotten to the point that you are describing, but I have zero willpower most of the time, so this website has been helpful in getting motivated & staying on track. Plus, it helps that it is free & can help you track your calorie intake & exercise goals, etc. Good luck to you & hang in there!
• United States
7 Mar 07
Thanks. I have just joined sparkpeople.com. So many people have said it was a great site so I am just getting to know it. I love the idea of an entire communtiy of people working together.
• India
26 Feb 07
be with your friends and relitives or family they will help you out of tress Next get some work like cutting pic form newspaper and stick it on a book this will make U busy and you will not eat more At every morning take deep breaths for atleast 2 minut Do not keep any junk food in home When ever you fiil foody just eat salad
• United States
28 Feb 07
I am with my kids all day long. I am worried I might be teaching them bad ways to deal with stress as well, and Im sure they are listening to all I am saying and that isnt good for their future body images. If anything I need to do it for them.
• Singapore
26 Feb 07
I think you are feeling lousy because you are gaining weight. And when you feel lousy, you go on binge eating and gain even more weight. It's a vicious cycle and you must make the determination to get out of it. Start by withholding and stopping yourself forcefully the next time you pick up an unhealthy snack or unnecessary meal. Reward yourself with a smile each time you do that and visualise that you have just saved yourself an extra 100 grams. Have faith, life will become more bearable. ;-)
• United States
28 Feb 07
The first few steps are always the hardest. I am trying to not head for the junk foods. It is at my weakest times when I reach for them to comfort me. I just need to get them out of the house all together so when I am weak I will have to find another way to cope. I need to learn good coping skills.
• Philippines
26 Feb 07
Dealing with everyday life is no more less than stressful,even getting up in the morning,seeing your face with a fine line contributes stress. Or having a bad cup of coffee or getting late at the office bec.of the traffic also makes you upset. But that doesnt mean you have to eat to cover all the frustrations...cause eating a lot mostly junk food will only give you more problems regarding your shape and health. If you really cannot give up eating those well at least try to find an alternative way. Instead of eating food which is high in salts or fats be accustomed in eating high in fiber,and low in calories.Drink more fluids like water and juices for it would tend to make you feel fuller.And of course,try to live always with HAPPY THOUGHTS!!
• United States
28 Feb 07
Every day life just catches up with me now and then. Like to much life at once. I probibly need better stress management skills. I have been trying to change my eating habits one at a time. I am taking lots of small steps. Fiber is one of thoes things I am trying to increase. Thank you for you comments and well wishes. I will try to keep my thoughts HAPPY.
@joshdale08 (2324)
• Philippines
26 Feb 07
know what? i'm well on my way to feeling the way you do. over the past 2 months, i've haven't done anything that remotely resembles physical labor at all. i haven't weighed myself lately, yet, but i know i've gained a lot because just like you, my fave pants are snug already. and yet, even with this knowledge, i haven't done anything still. and i sleep in the afternoons, too, which is something i've never done before. i don't know the reasons for my listlessness, must be the fact and the awareness that i'm nearing 40? i'm not sure.......
• United States
28 Feb 07
Im sorry you are going through it too, but I do feel better knowing I am not the only one going through all of this stress and the weight roller coaster. I have two great kids at home that help me forget about me most of the time but I think if I gave my self more time I would be better off too.
@kiwikidz (753)
• New Zealand
26 Feb 07
You basically have answered your own question, look what you call yourself "happy thoughts" a lot of what you need while feeling you are in a downhill slide, is happy thoughts not negative ones. I had been through very much the same, eating wrong foods then getting depressed because I had put on so much weight, a lot of my problems were because of multiple joint replacements I couldn't get around a lot. I try to walk on my good days which makes me feel positive, other days when not feeling too well I have to find other things to do and keep myself occupied. I know that this site has given me a lot of pleasure since joining because it shows that there are a lot more people worse off than me, and by joining in discussions, helps you get things into perspective. Just keep yourself thinking those happy thoughts, and at the bottom you have only one way to go and that is back up.
• United States
28 Feb 07
It is so much easier to say then to do. I know if I were thinking more happy thoughts I would feel better and then it would start the cycle of a healthy and happy lifestyle. My lot has helped me a lot to connect with people. I love it here.
• Philippines
26 Feb 07
Well, if you eat due to depression, you do need to know what makes you depressed in the first place. WHen you eliminate the cause of your depression, you will start feeling happy again and self-confidence will boost you in your weight loss. Because if you do weight loss now, and cannot figure out your depression factors, you're work on loosing those pounds will be regained again, so you're still back to rock bottom. you like junk foods, you can find alternatives that you can eat and enjoy. Suppose you like french fries. You can eat home-made french fries. Or you can even buy ground beef from your local store and make burger patties so that you can eat burgers. Eating junk foods outside the house can give you more pounds, but if you do it yourself, you will intake less calories. Instead of softdrinks, you can try juices or ice tea.
• United States
28 Feb 07
I think the depression just comes from the stress I have and the fact that I cant take care of it all. I tend to dwell on things if I can fix them right away. Great idea on the home made junk food substitutes. They might not be as healthy as some foods could be ut it wouldnt make us feel deprived from the fast foods. I am counting down to when we can break the BBQ out of the garage.
@shrekk (561)
• Pakistan
26 Feb 07
The horrible circle you're in is nothing new. I've been in it many times but about different issues, and the solution out of such circles is to revert to the simplest information you have. So just clear your mind and think about exercise or dieting and you'll be alright soon if you stick to your plans. Believe me, the simplest answer is the best, really.
• United States
27 Feb 07
I really need to learn to simplify. I get so wrapped up in one thing. I guess any little step would help. I am going to create a good starter plan and stick with it. It might take me 10 years but I will do it.
• Canada
26 Feb 07
I highly recommend SparkPeople. It's a wonderful website that has lots of fantastic recipes, tips for losing weight, friends who help each other with willpower and motivation, and it has a lot of good exercise information too. I've used it before and still the have recipe of the day sent to my email account. It's 100% free and absolutely fantastic. http://sparkpeople.com Good Luck.
• United States
27 Feb 07
A lot of people have recomended that sit to me here. I am on my way to check it out. It sounds great. I dint know they had a recipe of the day. Looks great.