Rude and offensive so called "friends"

@Anniedup (3652)
Richards Bay, South Africa
February 25, 2007 4:24pm CST
When I first came to MyLot I was so pleased to see, that here people are exceptionally kind hearted and well mannered. Well today was one of those,wake up days. I realized that the bigger this site gets the chances that you are going to come across rude and nasty people, are going to increase. If you come across comments that are a bit abrupt or on the rude side it's ok, and even sometimes necessary, but if you excepted a friend with open arms on your friends list, and that "friend" starts to be offensive and nasty, that you had to delete, and report that person to MyLot, is truly a sad day. Naive me will check the next friend request carefully out, that is for sure. And I suppose, in a way I am to blame, because that is why that particular feature, "Except or Deny" is built in here, to kind of protect you. So all my true friends, have something like this happened to you? To all new MyLotters be careful, check out your future friend, not just his profile but go into that person's discussions and see how he treats his fellow MyLotter's
19 people like this
53 responses
@lauriefnp (5112)
• United States
25 Feb 07
I'm sorry that you had to learn it this way, but I guess we all do. I've been here for a while and I still make mistakes and end up having to delete people after I have accepted them. I do check out the profiles, the discussions that they have started, and I even read a few of their responses and best responses. Sometimes we just get burned, I guess, no matter how careful we are. I don't worry at all about deleting someone who starts treating me or other users disrespectfully or if they start posting spam or stealing other people's discussions or posts. Those are not the type of people who I am friends with in real life, and they are not the type that I will be friends with on a forum. Don't be too hard on yourself; you're not being naive- they were just being particularly cunning. Happy MyLotting!
3 people like this
• Kuwait
25 Feb 07
l am new in mylot, l hope l dont encounter rude people, or maybe do not understand or misunderstand my response, lm always looking at some discussions and responses that are really great ., so how do they become rude? maybe l have to be careful too..
1 person likes this
@Anniedup (3652)
• Richards Bay, South Africa
25 Feb 07
The hardest was on one of that person's particular discussions, I Apologized on taking so long before responding, can you believe it! You are so right, and thank you for your encouraging words, and healing my faith in humanity and proving to me, that here on MyLot, there are only the exceptional, and occasionally, offensive and vulgar people, and not the majority
1 person likes this
@zotopec (307)
• Pakistan
26 Feb 07
Thanks really that you brought it up. Well, I have never come across such a rude one on myLot but I have seen them do their part with others. I guess I will take the advice given here and carefully sort out the friends. Even I think we should revise our friendlist and delete the people who have never been in touch with us. I believe thats myLotting...
• United States
26 Feb 07
well with it being internet people love to cause drama
2 people like this
@Anniedup (3652)
• Richards Bay, South Africa
27 Feb 07
Like a true soapy:))) Thx 4 ur reponse
• Mexico
26 Feb 07
Every coin has 2 sides. Some people start discussions to where it is not always possible to cuddle them in words, as in between the lines it is obvious that the subject has simply no value. Fact stays, rude behavior is not acceptable, the truth is.
@Anniedup (3652)
• Richards Bay, South Africa
27 Feb 07
My point as well, teamfreddy. Thx for your response
@honeyangel (1992)
25 Feb 07
im guilty of accepting friends with out looking at their preveus posts,if this person is one of your friend i know you deleted them straight away.i can garentee im not like that.ive got friend that dont answer my posts,im thinking bout deleting them.not you so please dont worry
2 people like this
@Anniedup (3652)
• Richards Bay, South Africa
25 Feb 07
Thx my friend, I am very proud of all the friends on my list. They are just like you, always there, responding, and have something meaningful to say. This particular one I didn't check out, there's a saying that goes "let our stepping stones of the past be our stepping stones for the future" Thanks again
1 person likes this
@disvachic (10123)
• United States
25 Feb 07
That is a shame,i havent came across any rude ones yet on my list.Reading this makes me want to check now.Normally i will accept everybody that request to be a friend.Sorry to hear of your experience.
2 people like this
@Anniedup (3652)
• Richards Bay, South Africa
25 Feb 07
If I look at the amount of posts you have made, then you are really very lucky.But then again, maybe I was the unlucky one, because I think in general 73,800 of the 73,833 MyLotter's are great. Thank you for your response
1 person likes this
@dellion (6706)
• Malaysia
26 Feb 07
I think you had just suggests a very good and effective guideline for those who facing problems when choosing their new friends. By going to those discussions as to get to know them better was a little bit time consuming but I think its still worth it if we are serious on the "Friend" that concern.I had haven't come across such friend(s) so far and if I did found any such friend I will warns him/her before I have to delete them from friend's list. Nice topic!
@Anniedup (3652)
• Richards Bay, South Africa
26 Feb 07
You see dellion I didn't really want to do that in the the beginning, because all and I mean, all of my friends on my list are wonderful people like you. You were one of my first friends, and I picked you for the kindness that you always show. But now I will be more careful thx for your comment my friend.
@dellion (6706)
• Malaysia
26 Feb 07
Thanks for your kind words to me and its the same that I do treat you as one of the good friend that always worth me to responses to:) I do take time to go through your entire discussions and thus I truly understand why you have to took such an action for someone that show totally no respect at all.Anyway hope you will get over all this unhappy experience soon:)
@Anniedup (3652)
• Richards Bay, South Africa
27 Feb 07
Thx dellion, look, our stars look so great!
@nrnotrare (631)
• United States
25 Feb 07
Hello Anniedup..... If that person continues to bother you, you should report their actions to mylot. That type of behavior is not tolerated here. Tom
1 person likes this
@Anniedup (3652)
• Richards Bay, South Africa
25 Feb 07
Thank you Tom, I just did that, a half an hour ago Thank you for the response
• United States
25 Feb 07
Annie... You're welcome. Tom
• United States
26 Feb 07
Well, it is a site that has people from all over the world coming here so that in and of itself means that there are all kinds of people as well, rude,courteous,simpathitic and many more personalities. You should get to know the person through their discussions and responses before you decide whether you want to put them in your list of friends. The people I have come across here have been kind hearted and well mannered. But it will not surprise me if I get the other kind as well because of how many people come here.
@Anniedup (3652)
• Richards Bay, South Africa
27 Feb 07
A huge mixgrill indeed, yes and if it wasn't for all my loyal friends I would've been here Thx for your response
@Marie2473 (8521)
• Sweden
26 Feb 07
I belive that I deny alot of people these days. I get about 1-8 requests every day and from alot of people that do nothing but spam. i DO not ACCEPT them. Like u say the Accept/deny are there for a reason!
1 person likes this
@Anniedup (3652)
• Richards Bay, South Africa
27 Feb 07
You got that one on the number, see the post just before you very wise. Thank you very much, I am glad to see allot of senior members responding, thx again
@ashuaaaaa (785)
• Germany
26 Feb 07
well this has never happened to me but surelx now i will be careful. thanks for this discussion.
1 person likes this
@Anniedup (3652)
• Richards Bay, South Africa
27 Feb 07
You are welcome ashuaaaaa thx for your response
• India
26 Feb 07
oh ya its really upsetting when you find your friends posting rude comments on your discussions. its never been with me though. in this case you should use the options given by mylot of deleting them from your friends list so that they learn a lesson. mylot says it can't interfere in such conlicts between the members. so you have to deal with it. it may also happen that your topic or response has hurt your friend in some way or the other so they are passing rude comments.
1 person likes this
@Anniedup (3652)
• Richards Bay, South Africa
27 Feb 07
I wish it was as simple as that, it isn't and I explained with previous comments on this discussion what happened, and you are right I don't expect MyLot to get involved, but that is why the abuse button is there for offensive, racist, and vulgar material, comments or remarks. I love debating and sometimes a little sarcasm and the occasional rudeness I can handle but I will not be insulted
@sjohnson628 (3197)
• United States
26 Feb 07
being new to mylot myself i thank you for the heads up! good idea to check and see what kind of comments they leave before approving someone as a friend...THANKS AGAIN!
@Anniedup (3652)
• Richards Bay, South Africa
27 Feb 07
Glad my incident turned into allot of positivity, my pleasure, thx for the response
• United States
26 Feb 07
I know how you feel but don't let one bad experience have you feel the opposite of how you first did. Just like with anything there are going to be rude, ignorant people. I see them everyday at work and plus I ride the subway to D.C. everyday so I know a thing or two about ignorant people and financial and social status don't mean a thing. I hope you still keep a positive attitude so you can appreciate the nice people when you do meet them.
@Anniedup (3652)
• Richards Bay, South Africa
27 Feb 07
With the help of people like you, and all my wonderful true friends that responded here, it is easy to stay positive. Thank you for your response
• United States
26 Feb 07
thanks for the advice.I am new to mylot and was very impressed with the kindness and helpfullness of the mylot members but I have started to see a little difference. Although most mylots members are still kind,I have been noticing some pretty rude members.From now on,I will be sure to check out the friends dicussions and responses before I add them
1 person likes this
@Anniedup (3652)
• Richards Bay, South Africa
27 Feb 07
Rather safe than sorry, I'm also new here and enjoying it tremendously, except for the little unpleasantness, it is loads of fun Thx for the response
• Canada
26 Feb 07
I am new to MyLot as well. I have been trying to quit smoking my whole life. Yesterday i started a new discussion asking for various ways that could help me quit. The response was outrageous, I still haven't read them all. The words of kindness and various methods that helped them quit may help me kick this dreadful habit for good. Like any community you always have your bad apples. I hope I am smart enough to sort them out. Thanks for the heads up, I will be more careful.
@Anniedup (3652)
• Richards Bay, South Africa
27 Feb 07
The bad apples are luckily only a few, welcome to MyLot and I'm sure you will have a great time here like me. Thx for your response. PS. I stopped smoking with Zyban,but it didn't work for my husband because of the side effects, so check with your physician first. I also posted a discussion about it with more detail, so maybe check that out as well
@MsTickle (24962)
• Australia
26 Feb 07
So sorry you've been distressed by this. I've had a couple of silly responders be nasty and one be inflammatory but certainly no friends have done that. Most of my new friends have shown themselves to be real friends which has surprised and delighted me. When I first signed on a few people impressed me enough that I befriended them but I was soon noticing that I was mistaken in a couple of my choices. They were deleted (such a satisfying thing to do). Strangely, it is my friends I keep running into now not these people I mistakenly admired...I rarely see them now. You'll be ok mate. Chin up and smile ;)
@Anniedup (3652)
• Richards Bay, South Africa
26 Feb 07
Hopefully this is the first and the last time. Yes and you are right, all of my friends on my list are wonderful people with the exception of that one bad apple, anyway thank you for your positive response, and hey, how can I not smile, when I look at your smiling Avatar! thx again
@GardenGerty (99389)
• United States
26 Feb 07
I have had some other interesting things happen with friends, but none just out and out mean and nasty. Some speak in a "debating" tone of voice, and that is okay. I did delete one who never responds to my posts and posts tons of pointless discussions every day. I do not miss the alerts. Sorry to say, there are meanies everywhere.
@Anniedup (3652)
• Richards Bay, South Africa
26 Feb 07
Thx my friend, as usual you are there for me, thx for your time and response
@naty1941 (2336)
• United States
26 Feb 07
Thank you for the advice I will check them out from now on as I am relatively new to MyLot. It is sad but true that people can be nasty and rude.
1 person likes this
@Anniedup (3652)
• Richards Bay, South Africa
26 Feb 07
Check their comments and responses to other people, that way you can see if there are any offensive comments. Thx for your response
@dbeast (1499)
• India
26 Feb 07
well i have been here for sometime and i am glad that i havent had any bad encounters as you did.i am sorry for you though.the users have been very helpful.right from the beginning i didnt know anything about how to go about i had a lot of people going out of their way to help me.i really like to say a big thank you to my friends here.and as you said since this site is growing it ll indeed start to get a litlle difficult to make good friends anymore and we need to start being choosy hereafter.
1 person likes this
@Anniedup (3652)
• Richards Bay, South Africa
26 Feb 07
Because there are such wonderful people here, I just had to start this discussion so that all the kindhearted and helpful people, like yourself, not have to run in disgusting ones like that, and that MyLot can deal with them, to uphold the standard here. Thx for your response
@7nicole1 (1634)
• Canada
26 Feb 07
Well I have yet to have someone directly attack me on here even though I have heard of many that have been. Its pretty wild even on an online forum people can still find ways to bother others. It is sad and kind of unbelieveable but I wouldnt let it bother you its not like you'll ever meet these people in person. So ya I guess all you can do is be careful with who you except as friends.
1 person likes this
@Anniedup (3652)
• Richards Bay, South Africa
26 Feb 07
Yes you are right, and I am to blame for being careless and not checking this person out. I definitely wouldn't in real life like to meet such a person,and never will such a person ever come into my circle of friends. The standard here on MyLot is exceptionally high and that is the reason I reported it. I really enjoy my time here and wouldn't like to come across offensive people that kind of spoils the whole experience. Thx for your response