i am a bad mother

@aretha (2538)
United States
February 26, 2007 9:38am CST
ok to those of you with small kids or just to those with an opinion. i have 3 small kids and i use a childs harness with leash to keep my kids where i can see and reach them. when i had my first and he started walking he hated the stroller so when we went to a fleamarket or fair he wanted to walk.that is ok with me so i had found one of these leashes and started using that. with my second we have always used one. people think i am a horible mother i have been told that is a child not a dog, the looks i get are unreal, people walk by and make little commets about my son being on a dog leash. we don't put one on my oldest anymore but we do our 2 year old. what are your feeling on this? do you use them or do you just feel they are wrong?
25 people like this
90 responses
@CRiley27 (984)
• United States
26 Feb 07
I don't really care for them. Others give you looks and say things...Who cares? If you fell ok using them, keep on using them. If they were so wrong to begin with, companies would not be making them. What I and the nay sayings think should be of no care to you. Don't let it stress you out. I like to think "people and their opinions are like a**holes, everyone has one" LOL I am sure you are a good mother. :)
5 people like this
@aretha (2538)
• United States
26 Feb 07
LOL my mom used to say that all the time. i haven't heard that in years. i do still use it. i am not gonna lose track of my kid cuz of something some one else says. i am not one to care but i was just wondering what other thought of them. thank you
4 people like this
• United States
2 Mar 07
I agree with Criley27. And I'm a mom of three, anything I can do to keep my kids safe I'll do. I havn't used one of these, but if the situation called for one you better believe my kids would be in one. So don't let other people tell you what's right for you and your family. If they don't agree with it so what I'm sure they do things in their family that you may not agree with.
• United States
26 Feb 07
I personally have never used them but have never seen anything wrong with either. I use my stroller for my son when we go most places. He wants to walk more now but I still bring the stroller. I have never understood why people think it is bad. In a world where your child could be snapped up in no time at all I say whatever makes you feel comfortable about safeguarding your child. For those that have something to say just tell them to mind their own business!
4 people like this
@aretha (2538)
• United States
26 Feb 07
yes and that is my main concern is someone grabbing my kids. my kids hate the stroller as well and when we are some where that i am afraid of losing them in a crowd i have it on them. i normally just giggle at people that say something. it really don't bother me i just don't see many people use them. i am normally the only one in a crowded place. i just like know where my kids are at all times. thank you for your response
3 people like this
• United States
26 Feb 07
No problem. Just do what you are comfortable and to h*ll with what others think. You know how you feel best to keep tabs on your kids and that is all that is important.
3 people like this
@aretha (2538)
• United States
26 Feb 07
thank you again. we really need smileys here
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Feb 07
i have never used one of these but if its working for you by all means go for it! i dont think that it makes you a bad parent! i mean its not like your beating your children or anything! and at least this way u wont lose your child! dont worry about what other ppl say when your out in public! ive seen plenty of these kids leash things! so plenty of parents use them or else u wouldnt be able to find them in stores!
4 people like this
@aretha (2538)
• United States
26 Feb 07
thank you i do use them and will never stop. it is important i know where my kids are. i have had a couple of grandparents stop us to see where they could get one for when they had their grandkids cuz they are to out to chase them. i like chasing my kids just not in a public or crowed place. thanks again for the response
3 people like this
• India
27 Feb 07
hi
@Myrrdin (3601)
• Canada
26 Feb 07
You know before I had kids I thought they were the most terrible idea ever invented, I thought parents that used them were lazy and inattentive. Now that I have a four year old and have lived through the two year old who always wanted to walk, well more often wanted to run, I understand why people use them. I never have myself, but I often wished I did have one. Especially in situations where you are trying to shop and watch your kids all at the same time.
4 people like this
@aretha (2538)
• United States
26 Feb 07
i have also said this before i had kids now i won't live with out one. we have 3 one in the car one in the diaper bag and one in the house. it is so much easier and less worry. thank you for the response
1 person likes this
@7nicole1 (1634)
• Canada
26 Feb 07
Even though I have never used these I do believe your not a bad mother just because you did. I think if your out with a number of kids this is a good way to keep them close and make sure they dont run off. If I was you I wouldnt care what other people think just as long as your kids are safe thats all that matters.
4 people like this
@aretha (2538)
• United States
26 Feb 07
i really don't care what they think or i would stopped along time ago. the way i see it is i know where my kids are at all times and wouldn't want it any onther way there is to many creeps out there. thanks for the response
1 person likes this
@Dolcerina (3379)
• Hungary
26 Feb 07
I have only one son, and I have never used it. I am sure that I would never use it if I had 5 children even. My friend has 3 VERY lively children, all boys. It is not simple for her neither. The boys know that if they do not stay by their mother in a strange place, anything can happen to them. I spoke a lot about rude people to my son,so he always takes my hand when we are outside. My friend also discussed to his children about rude people, and the danger, that can happen to them. They allways takes each other hands, or their mother's hands. They are really very lively kids, but they know why they should stay together.
4 people like this
@aretha (2538)
• United States
26 Feb 07
well thats good that they listen. i also have 3 VERY lively little boys. when you go to a place with all 3 alone and have to push the stroller with the baby in it how do you hold the 2 yr olds hand. my 6yr old stays right there and no one is gonna walk up and grab him but my two year old they could but not while wearing the harness. it works for me thank you for the response
2 people like this
@creematee (2810)
• United States
26 Feb 07
I've used them and abused them. :) I don't see anything wrong with knowing where your children are at all times. My DD#2 likes to wander off when we go to the mall, and it's the ONLY way I can keep track of her. She doesn't care for it, but it beats fighting her to keep hold of my hand--especially when I have arms full of packages.
@aretha (2538)
• United States
26 Feb 07
my 2 yr old don't care dor it either but he knows if he wants to walk thats what it gonna be. kids that little lose track so fast they see something that catches their eye and thats all it takes. we don't have to worry about that. thanks for the response
3 people like this
@Bee1955 (3886)
• United States
27 Feb 07
My daughter and oldest grandchild with me - 2 women and a girl
Now I used one on my daughter until she was 2. She hated the umbrella stroller we had for her and wanted to walk in the Malls and outdoor markets. She used them on her first 2 children, too. I guess they are out of style now and people dont like them, but they were a boon for any parent afraid of kidnappers or the child straying and get lost. You know how fast that can be! Tell them its none of their business.
2 people like this
@aretha (2538)
• United States
27 Feb 07
you really have to keep a close eye on your kids now a days there is so many weirdo's out there now a days. thank you for the response
27 Feb 07
No you are not a bad mother! You are a caring conscientious mother and your post has incensed me to write with a fury. Honestly people judge other people without even considering why or what your reason is. Kids hate being hemmed into the stroller and at 2 years of age they want their freedom. If the leash is around his neck! :) then yes thats dreadful but of course its either around the waist with a reign at the back, so it fits like a chest harness or its around the childs wrist and you have the other part on your wrist. He gets his independence and Mom gets peace of mind. I chuckle when I see these because I think they are great and more kids and Moms and Dads and Grandparents should use them. Leash up your kids and protect them from getting lost and paedophiles. A word to the wise though, kids are canny creatures, very intelligent, make sure your son knows that if he takes the wrist band off, he goes in the stroller no arguements. Keep it up good for you!
@aretha (2538)
• United States
2 Mar 07
thank you and he knows if he don't want it on his in the stroller or cart so he normally don't give a hard time with it. i have never had a problem with them wondering off but we have always used the harness so i don't think they relize its a choice. by the way i know i am not a bad mother that is just what people like to say when they see my son wearing the harness. thank you very much for your response
@crickethear (1420)
• United States
27 Feb 07
kids harnesses - In todays world you need to do everything and anything to protect those precious children. Using a harness is not being a bad parent. Let me say this to you, it is no different then peer pressure. How would you feel if you went against your better judgement and something happened. You would never forgive yourself, and you would be in emotional pain the rest of your life wondering the fate of those children.
here is a real cute one.
2 people like this
@aretha (2538)
• United States
2 Mar 07
we have a monkey thank you
• United States
27 Feb 07
ok you asked for a honest opinion here is mine I never used any kind of harness or lease on my boys to me that seem cruel I am not saying that you are a bad mother but I would never use them on any child a child should be made to stay by your side or in a stroller if that is impossiable than take the child to a babysitter when you are going out and you are afraid that your child will run off,it is just like being in handcuffs and ankle braclets when your a prisoner and you have to go to the doctors
2 people like this
@aretha (2538)
• United States
2 Mar 07
ok first i have never ever left my kids with a sitter,never. they are mine if i can't handle them i should not of had them. 2 what is the difference between a harness and a stroller? with the stroller they are just sitting there straped in and can not move. with the harness the are free to move and walk a bit which is good for them. 3 my kids do stay with me but i am sorry any small child that sees some thing is going to pay more attion to that and not were they are walking and what gonna stop some one from taking a small kid at least with the harness i will know and more then likely they are not gonna try to take a child that is wearing one. as far as being a prisoner i think a play pen is like a prison or a stroller which they are strapped in and can't move. the harness make sense to me but is not for everyone and thats ok but people should look at me funny cuz i know where my son. thank you for your opinion i don't agree at all but that is what i wanted is for people to tell me why so thank you
• United States
27 Feb 07
You are just a concerned mother who is doing what ever necessary to keep her child happy and healthy.
2 people like this
@aretha (2538)
• United States
27 Feb 07
thank you for your response
@nicky35 (748)
27 Feb 07
i dont use them but only because my son knew how to undo his wrist strap and he used to free himself so i just gave up with it in the end.youre a good mother,theres nothing wrong with wanting control of your kids while your out.i have three and the middle one who is five,the one who could undo the strap is a nightmare,he always goes missing in the supermarket and around the shops.i avoid taking him shopping now because its just awful.so you do right.i dont blame you at all
2 people like this
@aretha (2538)
• United States
27 Feb 07
thank you for your response
@Riptide (2761)
• United States
27 Feb 07
I think you are doing the right thing. You are keeping your children safe and that makes you an excellent mother. Don't pay those people any mind,some people just have to see the negative in everything. I don't have kids, but if I would I would use them. In these day and age it's the best way to keep your children safe in public places.
2 people like this
@aretha (2538)
• United States
27 Feb 07
thank you for your response
27 Feb 07
I think they are fantastic, and always have my 2 year old daughter on one everytime we go out, she is safe and cannot run off into traffic, in shops she is held back so she doesnt touch anything on the shelves, if anyone says anything to you, in future just tell them to mind there own business, these people probably dont have children, and if they did they would be first in the queue to buy a child harness.
2 people like this
@aretha (2538)
• United States
27 Feb 07
thank you for your response
@lithmus (52)
• Philippines
27 Feb 07
Why do you say you are a bad mother? Those child harnesses you are talking about, what are they actually for? Aren't they to make sure that you're child is within your reach and that they don't get lost when you bring them with you when you go out? So how can you say you are a bad mother? When all you want to do is protect your children from getting lost. To all those people who stares at you and make comments... i say.. to heck with them, you are doing what you think is best for your children. will they be the one to lose her mind if her children gets lost.
@aretha (2538)
• United States
27 Feb 07
thank you for your response
@steney (1418)
• Philippines
27 Feb 07
I don't think you're a bad mother if you're doing it to protect your children from being lost. I don't use it because I don't feel the need to use it for my kid. But for some parents who can't handle their kids other than that of having a child's harness, I say just go for it. To each his own, don't mind what others would say. Parents almost always, know what's best for their children.
2 people like this
@aretha (2538)
• United States
27 Feb 07
thank you for your response
• United States
27 Feb 07
Hey I would USE THEM TOO! My sister had one. Who cares for comments? I used to see kids with ones that looked like animal backpacks. When I have kids, I want the moneky one. BETTER to have them on a leash then loose them. I cant tell you how many times people loose their kids and its like they should be watched. The leash it WORKS. And it keeps them safe. So dont care what others think. Use them for as long as necessary. I dont think they are wrong AT ALL!
2 people like this
@aretha (2538)
• United States
27 Feb 07
thank you for your response
• United States
27 Feb 07
First I feel your a great mom!!!! you are watching them and using a harness is not child abuse. I have four and I tell you it is better to use the harness or hand leash than letting the child runnn crazy throughout the store like some parents let their kids. Kuddos too you
@aretha (2538)
• United States
27 Feb 07
thank you for your response
• Canada
27 Feb 07
I have used them on my middle son when he started walking. He hated the stroller and so it made more sense for us to use the harness. I too got many snide comments about it, but I refused to bow down to pressure. When people said something about it in my hearing, I put them straight with a simple "What I do with my son is none of your business. It isn't hurting him, I'm not dragging him around and at least I know he's safe!" Usually that was enough to shut them up. A good few of them had the grace to look embarrassed, like they thought I wouldn't dare respond or something. It annoys the heck out of me when people think they know whats best for other people's kids.
2 people like this
@aretha (2538)
• United States
27 Feb 07
yes and it seems every one knows better then us their parent. thanks for the response