This Could Get Ugly Very Quickly

Polyester Pull Up Pants - the stages of old age are described in these pants
United States
February 26, 2007 5:51pm CST
When you first get pregnant, you are told that there are "stages" of pregnancy. When you have the child, you are told that there are "stages" in that baby's first year. You later learn from baby food jars that there are "stages" of eating that the child goes through. Then the disposable diaper/pull-up companies let you know that there are "stages" of pee-pee, poo-poo to go through. Your pediatrician will tell you of the "stages" of child development before your child begins school. Your child's teacher will most certainly inform you of the "stages" your child is going through all the way from kindergarten through the senior year. By then, you think you can relax because the "stages" of development are at last over..............think again, my friend, think again!There are a whole new set of "stages" you yet have to look forward to. These will occur when you reach your older years. No one told me about them, so I am warning you! Beware! Watch out! They will sneak up on you and I don't want you to be caught unawares!My first inkling of a developmental stage happened a few years back when I was putting on a pair of panty hose. It was then that I realized that my butt that had once been firm and rounded, now had to be lifted from behind my knees to fit in the panty part of the hose....that was not a good day. The second stage followed another year or so later as I was getting ready to prepare dinner. I began to wash my hands and as I was lathering them I happened to look at them and lo and behold, they were my mother's hands! My hands didn't have those wrinkles did they? Yeppers! They certainly did. The last stage only happened recently. In June I had a woman surgery (I won't go into it as it might make a man's eyes bleed if he had to get a mental picture of it). After the surgery I needed to wear loose fitting garments so I went to the Goodwill and bought several pair of loose pants. Even after I had healed, I continued to wear the pants because they were actually comfy. A few weeks ago I was getting ready to go to an appointment with one of my daughters. As I pulled up a pair of the pants that I had bought, I realized that I now AM the old woman in the polyester pull up pants! And so are the stages of my life~Donna
15 people like this
23 responses
@emeraldisle (13158)
• United States
27 Feb 07
That was good :) very well written. Is there any chance of fighting off those stages? Can we manage some how or another to make them wait till later in life? I don't want to grow up let alone grow old. I suppose we can't stop it any more then we can stop the hands on a clock from moving. Time marches on and sooner or later we realize it marches all over us and we are left behind to figure out what happened. Oh well we can either face it with dread or look upon it with humor. I intend to fight it with humor. At least when I'm laughing no one will notice the wrinkles on my face :)
6 people like this
• United States
27 Apr 07
Emerald, I forgot to add the next stages, you know, the stages we really don't want to discuss, the stages where we once again wear diapers and eat baby food!~Donna
1 person likes this
@emeraldisle (13158)
• United States
28 Apr 07
I'm dreading that last stage. I do not want it. I will fight that one tooth and nail. Well at least with nail because by then I might not have any teeth :)
@babykay (2133)
• Ireland
27 Feb 07
Stop you're depressing me : ) I like to think of it as a change of priorities - when we get older we become less self conscious, less vain, less concerned with the micro picture. But as we get older we care more about the important things - ie our kids and spouses, and we couldn't give a flying feck about the size of our arses LOL Thank goodness for it is what I say. Getting older is, in many ways a blessing. We are much wiser (we really aer in spite of what some might think) and we have all that experience under our belts to know how to deal with stuff (we hope :) Here's to getting older
6 people like this
• United States
28 Feb 07
Alright Baby, admit it, you are still in your 30s right? Love Bunches ~Donna
1 person likes this
@charms88 (7546)
• Philippines
27 Feb 07
LOL...I love what you posted here. Everyone will certainly goes through those many stages in their lives except for those without children, who will miss the many stages again of raising children. I will be hypocrite not to admit that I'm getting a little paranoid about getting old. I'm 35, not too young nor too old. I just try to enjoy every single moments of my life. There were times I know I'm pressuring myself too much thinking, I still need to do a lot of things before facing that "old stage." Maybe because my girls still need me. Although, I can still wear my old clothes but my body is not the same as before. Its not firm enough. LOL...life's like that. We learn to deal with those sagging things, white or gray hair and whatever surprises getting old can give us. Happy posting...
@beaniegdi (1966)
27 Feb 07
Oh No !! When I was much younger I thought you never grew old if you had a strong enough will. I guess I thought like king canute I would hold back the tide of age - it isn't nice to find out that won't happen. I guess the secret is dusty mirrors and bad lighting so at least your reflection still has what it takes.
6 people like this
@SpitFire179 (2536)
• Canada
27 Feb 07
Hey hun... I guess as long as your happy, and enjoy seeing the brunt of your hard work paying off, you can say that every wrinkle, every mark, every scar, is a sign of something you went through in your life. every one has a story... I'm not scared to grow older, get a Grey hair or 2, wrinkle up, get scars and lines and stretch marks, because it shows the life that i lived, shows that i have wisdom and love, and all the things that it takes to get through this life. I don't mind being the one in the pull up pants, actually i kinda prefer them haha ;) I think that it doesn't matter what's on the outside, but rather what's on the inside, the smarts that you acquired, wisdom, love, friendships, knowledge, all of that is so important, and people don't give the inside enough credit... I know it can be hard, there's scars that I've had to over come, but be proud hun, you are who you are, you have all of your battle scars, and they all mean something. If every person did that there would be a whole lot of books about wrinkles, and what they mean for that person haha. Your great... Take care Ash
• United States
27 Feb 07
Saying goodbye to youth - Coming to grips to the loss of youth
I agree with you in that we should be proud of every single step we have taken to get to where we are in life. But when you are a younger woman you have no idea how as you start reaching middle age and beyond, you actually grieve and morn your youth. It might be a fleeting grief for some but I think we are not honest with ourselves if we don't say that we do miss what our younger bodies possessed. I struggled with it greatly, yet silently, as I did not want anyone to know or think me that vain. I do plan on growing older gracefully, but I DO NOT plan on just giving in to it and giving up... There will be "Loving care" moments and heck I even bought a tweeze easy:))) Many posters have stated in this conversation that humor is the key and you bet your saggy hiney it is:)) Its funny and it sets my children at ease to know that this is the way it should be, maybe they won't be so afraid of life ahead. And thats another thing you never understand when you are young is just how fast the years fly.
4 people like this
@SageMother (2277)
• United States
27 Feb 07
Isn't it odd...the first time the paperboy calls you ma'am...or the police officer you talk to and realize he's younger than your kids. I say develope a style to go with your new found stage. I figured I could get away with being a bit caustic when dealing with total pin-heads when I turned 50. Age does have its benefits!
5 people like this
• United States
27 Feb 07
Blue Haired Woman At Kroger CheckOut - They are all aflutter to get that 5% discount on Tuesday at the grocery store
One of the best benefits of all is what I lovingly call "blue hair Tuesday" at Kroger and Foodland! All of your purchases are 5% off! The only problem there is that you have to fight off all the little old men and women with canes and wheelchairs to get the best deals! (please note I am joking - I am on disability too)~Donna
3 people like this
• United States
27 Feb 07
Rotflmao Donna, too funny. I have been grappling with this very thing the last couple of years myself. At first I was mortified, depressed, and in denial that it was I Tammi, the over exuberant, Sagittarius, who laughed freely and spoke the first thing on her mind, regardless of consequence, the young blond who was not overly beautiful but pretty, could be actually going through menopause just shortly after turning 40. Yes, to young is what I was screaming, but the GYN assures me that indeed it is perimenopause. I turned 46 this year. It was the beginning of my 44th year that the hair on my upper lip was now getting darker and courser, I had rogue hair growing on my chin and neck, where a women should have HAIR it was now getting thin and balding. ( I am not talking my head either, although that also is thinning and having to wear a shorter hair style than I ever have is now my fate.) I found that when looking at my naked body that the flesh of my upper arms was beginning to take on that thin skinned appearance and that my muscle tone was (Lacking?) No not lacking just no longer there .. LMAO It wiggled when I wiggled. Sigh..... I no longer have to shave my legs because that hair too has disappeared. Time has marched across my face and left the track marks around my eyes. I have had to give up heels for sensible shoes because of back issues. Loving Care is now a bi monthly routine as the gray gets thicker every root growth. OH me if I continue I shall be depressed again LMAO I now just poke fun at myself, and even my kids will tease before we depart on some adventure by asking if I have plucked my chin before I am seen in public with them. THEIR DAY IS COMING. And I am so looking forward to seeing it, Gray headed and with a beard!!! :))))
@slickcut (8141)
• United States
28 Feb 07
OmG Angel this is just too funny...I ahve been there already and noe going through next to the last stage..I wondered why I didn.t have to shave my legs anymore...or under my arms...heehee
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Feb 07
LOL you make me laugh SOOO much. I nearly Peed myself! ROFLMAO! I am 36 and have those stages, too! LOL It's so funny becasue when you described your hands being your mom's hands...well, I just went thru the same realization not a month ago while I was driving down the road and looked down and saw my mom's hands driving instead of mine!!! LOL Thanks for the laugh and for the reallity check!
5 people like this
@villageanne (8579)
• United States
27 Feb 07
LOL I dearly loved this discussion. It was funny, well written and so very true! LOL Nobody tells you about the stages that you will go through. I dont wear the polester pants. I wear jersey pants. LOL Because they are comfy. I will never forget the day I was getting dressed and just happened to look in the mirror as my head popped out of the neck of my sweater. Oh My, it was not me, instead it was my mother. At that point, I guit looking in the mirror. LOL
4 people like this
@soccermom (3200)
• United States
27 Feb 07
Great discussion! I am in my early 30's and I work in the same office as my mom and it seems everyday someone points out something to tell me I am turning into my mother. Especially when I walk in the door and say something about the arthritis in my hands is bothering me. LOL Thank god they make stylish sweats now or I'd be out of luck! It kills me to put jeans on. I even found some stretchy waisted pants that can pass for dress pants with a long sweater! On the other hand I also feel like I am going backwards in stages, today I can identify with my four year old. I don't want to go anywhere, I don't feel like brushing my hair, M&M's for breakfast does sound good and I could watch cartoons all day! LOL
• United States
27 Apr 07
award - balloons
Because you are woman enough to admit to "stretchy waisted pants", you MUST get the Best Response Award! Thank you~Donna
1 person likes this
@soccermom (3200)
• United States
30 Apr 07
Thanks for the best response! LOL See those pants do work for something! LOL
• United States
27 Feb 07
well i hopefully will have a few more years before that happens to me, lol. i am only 21. but i know that day will come!
3 people like this
• United States
27 Apr 07
I almost gave you a negative rating just for being 21! But I have a heart and a great sense of humor! Thanks for the comment ~Donna
@feralwoman (2199)
• Australia
27 Feb 07
Geez Donna that did get ugly quite quickly - i'm glad I didn't have children! You have a fantastic sense of humour! Go girl! lol
3 people like this
• Philippines
27 Feb 07
LOL, I enjoyed your post! Oh well, those stages really never end, huh? Right now, I am going crazy handling my kid who's going through ever-so-many-stages of development. I keep telling myself it'll be over in a couple of years. But then, here you are reminding me that it doesn't stope there. Oh my! Thanks for the wake-up call.
@kathy77 (7488)
• Australia
27 Feb 07
Very well written this would have to be the best discussion I have ever read Kitchenwitchoftupper I knew you wrote great discussion but I loved this one most of all as it is very true every written word that you have here is very true and I look down at my body it seems to go down slowly at times and then all of a sudden it drops down dramatically and something else is wrong I guess that is what they call old age, never mind we had our good times, and learnt a lot along the way I hope.
3 people like this
• United States
28 Feb 07
LOL, the stages of life was a total trip. I am gone thru some of the phases myself and starting the next one soon. I will be 42 this year. I thought my child bearing days were over until I had my daughter right after I turned 39. I do what I can to stay young, but time shows no mercy.
@brokentia (10396)
• United States
6 Mar 07
Oh poor Donna. Not the polyester pull up pants stage! LOL Thanks for the warning! I will be to avoid that last stage. LOL And you right...there are many stages of many diffrent parts of life. Some are good...some are bad. But it is nice to be warned about the stages that doctors DON'T tell us about! LOL
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Apr 07
There is no avoiding nature Tia, you cannot avoid, run away from, hide, nor escape! Laugh along with me!~Donna
1 person likes this
@brokentia (10396)
• United States
28 Apr 07
LMAO Word of advice. Write down who you awarded each best response to. ha ha Because those sucker are like bugs, they just keep coming back!!! I awarded many best responses and for some reason, myLot had a glitch and took away the best response. Now, they are unresolved again. They keep multiplying!!!! OK...I know Beltane is coming up...but I certainly do not want my unresolved discussions to try to join in the Sabbat! LOL I don't need anymore! I resolved them down to two pages and it is back up to 5 pages! Good luck on your resolving them! :)
@carlysle (271)
• Philippines
6 Mar 07
you've had a wonder life??? dont let those baggy skin and old clothes keep you down... dress once in a while.. pamper yourself.. you'll sure feel beautiful everyday... wrinkles does not mean you have aged into an ugly person.. it only means that you have aged biologically and have learned a lot of things through life... the last stage in maslows heirarchy of needs is self-actualization.. :)
1 person likes this
@freak369 (4743)
• United States
1 Mar 07
I sent that to a few friends, they all replied the same way .. "Just remember who is older" LOL. Out of all of them, I am the oldest so they couldn't resist getting their digs in on e me LOL
1 person likes this
@MsTickle (25007)
• Australia
1 Mar 07
Oh Donna...too much information lovely one. LOL. But you do it so very well, you are forgiven. Why are we not educated about the horrors that await us. Why doesn't life allow us to be totally nonchalent as we morph into who we become at 50+? I was a coffee shop attendant in a supermarket once upon a time long ago and one day there was an obese woman talking to someone in an aisle near the cafe and a woman in my queue turned to her friend and said "If I ever get that big...shoot me" I thought she was mean and horrid but actually she was quite nice and friendly and funny. And looking at the big lady I thought "Oh dear". I've always been tall and slim but as age was creeping up on me, so was my weight. Now, about 10 years later, not only have I gained 25kg but I don't recognise myself when I look in the mirror. My face is not just wrinkled and droopy it's sad and drawn as well. As we speak I sit here in my tracky dacks and a t-shirt with coffee dribbled down the front, my once reddish brown hair is greying patchily and it's straggly because part of it has escaped it's scrunchy and I've not brushed it yet. The worst thing of all is that I ran out of chocolate biscuits 2 days ago and I don't go to the shops again for over a week......aaarrrgghhh!
@slickcut (8141)
• United States
28 Feb 07
hahahahahaha,girl I am there,i could have warned you heehee...I got a big laugh out of this post...I have already got a good look at my old wrinkled hands,and its not a pretty site...My husband and i were going down the road in out pickup the other day and i had my hand arm rested on the window ,with my hand facing up and caught a glimpce of my wrinked arm ,and I thought OMG,that is gross..ha ha...and remember what we use to say when we were young? "Im not going to be wearing those polyester pants like them little old ladies,remember...Well we are there....Oh and to top it off,Today is my BIRTHDAY,that just makes it worse..haha thanks for the fun haha...Oh and yesterday a girl I know told me i looked just like my mama..