Should I stop believing on a happy marriage.....

Philippines
February 27, 2007 9:39am CST
I can't really start to type what should I put here I'm out of words and I felt I was not in myself today. I just want to hear my friends on myLot and read thier advices sorry guys I can't say anything I'm a bit depressed. Would you share to me what is your view of a happy marriage should I stop believing on it?
15 people like this
66 responses
@lauriefnp (5112)
• United States
27 Feb 07
Maribel,This doesn't sound like you, and I'm a little worried. PM me if you need to "talk". I know from your previous posts and from your profile how much you are in love with your husband. Don't stop believing, even if you have hit a few bumps in the road. All relationships and marriages have problems that we need to work through, so just take a step back and decide what you need to do. You have been happy in your marriage, and I'm sure that you can work out any problems that you have so that you are happy again. Don't stop trying or believing.
7 people like this
@sarah22 (3981)
• United States
27 Feb 07
NEVER, marrige is what you make of it. othes may fail but you can never let you think you cannot have a good and happy one. you have to find the right person and live it together
5 people like this
• Philippines
28 Feb 07
I have to agree with you miss sarah22. I have seen my parents' marriage failing but i do not intend to follow them either. If given the chance, I would make it worthwhile while I am here on earth.
3 people like this
@sigma77 (5385)
• United States
27 Feb 07
Never stop believing you can create a happy, satisfying, and fulfilling marriage or relationship. Think of the things you want to be a part of your happy marriage and work to make them a part of your relationship. If for some reason your current relationship can't be repaired, do not give up hope of finding one that will work exactly as you desire. The perfect person for you is out there and by thinking about them and how you would like them to be, you may attract that person to you. It is ok to go through periods of sadness that might be because of misunderstandings or unrealized desires. All relationships get out of balance from time to time. It is a matter of talking about problems and communicating with your partner in a constructive manner. Those periods of lower-happpiness should be short in duration. If you find yourself suffering throught longer periods of depression, there may be serious problems in your relationship. Sometimes they can be fixed and sometimes not. If the current relationship does not work out, that does not mean that the next one won't. The moment you give up on creating a great marriage, you lessen the chances that you will.
5 people like this
@honeyangel (1992)
27 Feb 07
dont stop beliving, everybody has off day in their relationship all of them should be worked at by talking,listning,telling each other how you feel,honesty and treat each other with recpect.to me these are some of the main keys to a happy marriage.
4 people like this
@dellion (6706)
• Malaysia
27 Feb 07
What had happening to you? Why feel so down with your marriage in particular today? I think with your 12 years marriage and the lovely kid you have you should believed that you were actually having a happy marriage as others have:)To me I truly think that any happy marriage should be the equal commitments,trust, care and well communications within the family and for any reasons or anythings family always the first place.
@byfaithonly (10716)
• United States
27 Feb 07
I'm sorry to hear your feeling depressed. I do believe there are happy marriages, I've just not been blessed to have one. My view of a happy marriage is one based on belief in God, devotion to the Lord first and then to the spouse. I know a lot of people who would say they have a happy marriage and this is how their marriages are.
4 people like this
@Meace84 (101)
• United States
27 Feb 07
You shouldn't stop believeing in it. Just don't settle. That's what most people do these days. They settle instead of finding someone who makes them unbelivably happy. They settle for mr right now. They are too afraid to wait. I have seen proof of happy marriages. Both my sets of grandparents have been married for 50 years. That is what keeps me believeing.
3 people like this
• India
27 Feb 07
A happy marriage in my view is the love and affection between 2 people. A marriage is said to be happy marriage when the couple doesn't even fight for single second.I've seen many happy marriages for an example my parents.I haven't seen them fighting even for a second. There should be a complete understanding between both of them. I think one should believe this happy marriage because the life will be beautiful with full of love.
• India
27 Feb 07
I think you are in some problem. But I will tell you to believe in married life.Sometimes there may have some problem.but you should overcome it.
@weemam (13389)
27 Feb 07
My parents have Been married for 68 years this year ,and I have been married 46 years this year , my hubby is my soul mate , my best friend , and I share all my secrets and innermost thought with him , we have 3 grown up sons and 4 gorgeous grandchildren , never give up xx
3 people like this
@bluewings (3857)
27 Feb 07
I am not qualified to post to this topic ,being single.So,I won't mind a (-) ,but I am posting anyway. Marriage ,to me ,is not just love ,but a commitment to try to stay in love.There are bound to be dull bends when the love seems to be dissipating, the other side seems greener,brighter,nicer,but rather than feeling upset that our's isn't like that we'd make an earnest effort to bring back the magic.There won't be a single relationship in the whole world with a storybook romance and no differences in between.If Romeo and Juliet was a married couple then even shakespeare would have been honest to not cover up their differences and challanges in the relationship,but they'd have stuck it out and fought to stay in love.I feel that in the longrun a sincere effort doesn't go unrewarded.
3 people like this
@linda345 (2661)
• Canada
1 Mar 07
Oh my friend, I feel so bad because I am a day late getting to this discussion. Don't stop believing in a happy marriage if you don't want to. Just because you have a bad day or feel depressed, you have to wait until you are more sure of your self before you make any decisions. A happy marriage is being soul mates. I can sit with Garry and not talk for an hour and still be content. You remember my other discussion of the problem we are having, I still love him inspite of that. We argue sometimes, but that is life. He loves me but sometimes he says the dumbest things I feel like banging him over the head with a fring pan. We watch certain tv shows together every week after he gets home from work. I make his sandwiches the next day, just so when he is eating them he thinks of me. Sometimes we call each other at his break time on the cell phone(it is free between phones). I am sure you and your husband have a beautiful relationship. If you want to talk send me a message. Don't stop believing, that is when the magic disappears.
2 people like this
• Philippines
27 Feb 07
when you are burnt out in your work you experienced depression and mental fatigue, when you cant write anything, no matter how you try to, you suffer a writers block. the same is true in a happy marriage. keep on believing on it my friend, just imagine that in your marriage life yo run an obstacle's course. the road of life is not all paved and smooth, you know... HOLD ON TO IT MY FRIEND...
2 people like this
@maddysmommy (16236)
• United States
27 Feb 07
Don't stop believing just because its not a good day for you. We all go through ups and downs and yes sometimes we do feel like giving up but try to hang in there, find out what has caused you to feel unhappy and depressed and find ways to make it better. Talk to your partner about how your feeling and how he can help to make it better. If he is the cause of the problem and your unable to talk with him, is there someone else you can talk to? a friend? a family member? to help release the tension. A happy marriage is what you make of it - be patient, kind to each other, willing to compromise, have trust and respect for each other, communication is very important, make time out for each other and for yourselves all the while having fun with each other... and the list goes on!
@ashuaaaaa (785)
• Germany
27 Feb 07
hey lady what happened??happy marriage is nothing but making right compromises without hurting your self-respect. marriage can go through only when both the partners give enough freedom to each other.
2 people like this
• United States
27 Feb 07
Marriage... Sacred covenant, holy before the Lord. An honest commitment, deeming 2 seperate persons into one. United, and intertwined. How sad our cultures do not revere this sacred institute any longer. It is despised and rejected and treated like "anyone can do it"... Saying a few words does not a marriage make. But honest committment, enduring patience, passion to persevere, and strong conviction to forgive, to make peace, to be a better half of a whole. Marriage can be trying, difficult and stressful. It can be hard to "lay oneself down" on the altar of marriage before God. I want to fight for ME... yet i am no longer, only ME, i am a part of "US"... sometimes I must fight for us, sometimes i must pray for us, sometimes I must be quiet for us, sometimes i must cry for us, but "us" is what I need to be about. Happy, what is happy.... Is happy getting my way? at the expense of his? Or is happy striving to let God have His way, and make me holy through this amazing adventure called marriage. There are high spots, or mountain tops, their are low spots, or valley spots, there are desert places, in dry and weary land spots, and there are rich lush green places filled with fruit, and all these are places we visit on the adventure that we called marriage. I would define "happy" and write it out. I would define, healthy, and write it out. I would encourage you to read 1 Cor 13 in the Bible... and figure out the definition to the words that describe Love, for they include "patience", goodness knows you need it... "never jealous", because you will be tempted to be... "never rude" because, we can be selfish, and rudeness is the outward expression of it. Do not be sad my friend, do not despair in the belief of a happy marriage. Simply define it. Are your expectations of marriage, or of happy, unrealistic. Are you looking for marriage, to be your God? Is marriage an idol in your heart, that you need to lay down, so that in truth, in love you can truly enjoy it? It can easily become so. I am sorry you are so sad... I will pray for you my friend! May the Lord God, Creator of everything, even marriage, bless you today, giving you a renewed Spirit, one of hope, joy, and thanksgiving.! you are loved
@SHOOT54 (62)
• United States
28 Feb 07
Hi maribel Your 29 right? How long have you been married? Do you have any children? How long did you know your husband before you got married? Were things always bad? What things about your marriage are so bad it depresses you? Have you asked for help talked to a professional about your problems? What do you want out of life? Can you see yourself spending the rest of your life with your husband? Besides your marriage what else is important in your life? A happy marriage is when two people are happier being with each other then being alone or apart. When two people feel that they are more together then they could ever be individually. Lastly the question is do you love your husband, if the answer is yes then talk to him and work things out, if not then you have to decide what steps you have to make to changes in your life and be a productive and happy women. Take care SHOOT
1 person likes this
• United States
28 Feb 07
the last line should read... if not then you have to decide what steps you should take to make the changes in your life so that your a happier more productive women. I hope that sounds better :)
1 person likes this
• United States
5 Mar 07
A happy marriage is one in which both partners have equal time, equal freedom, equal rights! You have to be wife, mother, lover, -and most importantly-FRIEND! And vice versa for guys! If you don't feel free with each other, there's a BIG problem! There should be no fear! Don't stop believing; but it does take work; and it does take TWO!
1 person likes this
• United States
5 Mar 07
A happy marriage is one where both partners have equal time, equal freedom, equal rights! You should be able to tell someone you love and who supposedly loves you anything-without fear! You gotta be wife, mother, lover, and very importantly, friend too. If you don't feel free-then it's bad! You shouldn't stop believing; but it does take work; and it does take two!
• Philippines
2 Mar 07
it takes two to tango, and if one is tired or not excited to give it another go, then there's no point dancing again. If you think you still want to dance with him, I don't think it will be hard to get yourself to sway to the music. But if your husband isn't that enthusiastic about the prospect, you should talk to him and see what reasons he'll come up with for you to stay on the dance floor. If he's flailing and always tripping on your toes, I guess it's time to look for another partner, or maybe never to dance again. (smile)
1 person likes this