To marry or not to marry

@sidoney (1033)
Jamaica
February 27, 2007 11:01am CST
how long should a man and a woman be together before they get married,is it considered hopeless if he has not even asked her to marry after a certain period of time,yet they live a married type of life,is it that he is comfortable living the life without the commitment of marriage.
2 people like this
11 responses
@bicklelady (1411)
• United States
4 Mar 07
I lived with my hubby for almost a year before we got married. I was also 8 months pregnant. My parents got married after they had known each other for only 3 weeks. They have been married now for 45 years. some men are afraid of the commentment that goes along with marriage. Has he ever been married before? I would ask him if it was ever going to happen. If he says no, and you want to you might have to just move on. Good luck.
1 person likes this
@sidoney (1033)
• Jamaica
14 Mar 07
he was married once he does tell me that we will get married one day but that day has never come a date cannot be se to date
• Philippines
2 Mar 07
I think time is not the issue if you are going to marry someone or not.I guess if you love someone that much and you are willing to give a whole lot of sacrifices, then go for it.Sacrifices I mean is understanding your partner well may it be good times or bad.In marriage we have to be patient enough so that things wont get out of hand. Lastly,I think the very important thing in marriage is always remembering the reason for you both why you got into marriage in the first place,and that is love.
1 person likes this
@sidoney (1033)
• Jamaica
2 Mar 07
thanks for your insight i think you are right if you love each other and is willing to make sacrifices then getting married is a good idea
• United States
27 Feb 07
maybe if i'm in that situation as early as the time that you are started living as a married couple i would definitely ask the guy what's his plan for this relationship. if he won't care about getting married i should prankly tell him that we better get a separate lives as early than being into a much complicated life after yrs ahead. i value myself as i value the sacrament & commitment of marriage so i won't allow of just having a living in type with my partner as you can't call him a spouse for this case.
1 person likes this
@sidoney (1033)
• Jamaica
27 Feb 07
what if you both love each other but one of you is just have commitment issues although I alway thought that being in a relation ship is a commitment
@Sissygrl (10999)
• Canada
27 Feb 07
It's all up to the two people really, i know some people who have been together for realy long time, and they talk about getting married, but still haven't. and then there is me and my husband who only knew eachother about 2 years and got married. I think that's pretty quick. but we both knew that it was what we wanted and we're really compatible so we went ahead and didd it and it's been great for the most part. we have some fights, but not as many as ANY other of my relationships i've had in the past. and everyone has a few fights here and there at least right ? I think if you don't wanna get married and you just want to be commonlaw partners that is ok too. its all up to what the couple is comfortable with. My brother and his Girlfriend have been together for 6 years and they say that they will get married some day they just haven't yet and its not that important to them. They know they wil be together forever, they say they dont need a peice of paper to prove it ;)
1 person likes this
@sidoney (1033)
• Jamaica
27 Feb 07
2 yrs is not really long especially if he had proposed during that 2 yr period did they both say the same thing or one wants to but the other is not ready and its not the paper that count I know but the whole mind frame that goes along with marriage I sure as a little girl she always wanted to get married and now she found the love of her life way not make it official if its not a big deal
• India
27 Feb 07
it depends upon the both the individuals as if understanding is good and u both become good understaning very soon then need not stay longer for more before gettig married... you should get married very fast
1 person likes this
@sidoney (1033)
• Jamaica
27 Feb 07
well what if only one wants to get married and the other just want to live a marriage less life
@stephcjh (32385)
• United States
27 Feb 07
I think it is up to each individual person. Some men and women are afraid to committ to each other and be bound to them by a piece of paper. In this day and age, it is so easy to marry and divorce though. I think if a person lives with another person for a certain period of time and they find they are compatible and love each other, then I would think it would be the right thing to do, is to get married to one another. I still think it is to each their own though. If they can make it work by not marrying, then so be it, even though most of us weren't raised and taught to do so. I have mixed emotions on that. My sister just went through a nasty divorce after being married for twenty-one years. she still loves her ex-husband, but he fell out of love with her and moved on to another woman.
1 person likes this
@sidoney (1033)
• Jamaica
27 Feb 07
I all ways think its best to love than not to have loved at all I'm sorry to hear about what happened to her but would she have been with him for 21yrs without marriage fearing this day or would she have done it any way knowing what lies a head
@carlysle (271)
• Philippines
2 Mar 07
there is no number of years or months that a man and a woman should have before they get married... marraige should be a mutual decision and something that both man and woman are ready to enter.. if somehow you feel that your in a stagnant relationship... you could try to talk to your partner and discuss your future together.. maybe both of you are ready to take the next step.. :)
@nairjula (453)
• India
2 Mar 07
Marriage is actully a wonderful institution. Cohabitting is not. By cohabitting you are only challenging the society. Some people get more pleasure by challenging and conquering the society or swimming against the current. But other are more comfortable by swimming with the current. It is clearly the person's choice. No one can influence one's decision to marry or not marry.
• United States
1 Mar 07
I'm a little old fashioned in my thinking and I think if you can live together than you can make it official. Like the saying goes, 'why should he buy the cow if he can get the milk for free?'
• India
28 Feb 07
Well it depends upon the person.. As per me.. I dont like that kinda life.. Will live with him after marraige only.. Thanks..
@classact (1396)
• India
27 Feb 07
thank you for creating such a great discussion... i am glad to reply in this tag.. thank you once again.. keep creating such a cool discussion.. i thing To marry