Did/Do you let your kids sleep in your bed?

United States
February 28, 2007 2:06am CST
Every since I had my babies, my mom always told me not to let them sleep in my bed. She said it was ok to put the cradle in my room but not to let them in MY bed. I think she said this because my aunt had a daughter who use to come to bed with her until she was 10 years old because that was always acceptable. I was VERY thankful that my mom told me this and now my kids are GREAT when it comes to bedtime. They are 8 and 10 now and all I have to do is say "its 9 o'clock and they just get ready. NO FIGHTS EVER sometimes they even tell me when its 9 o'clock. A friend of mine, screams at her kids for hours, which makes me even more thankful that I always taught my girls that bedtime means bedtime, IN THEIR OWN BED. They have never known any different and accept bedtime very easily, but when I hear of a parent who says that it takes them hours to get their kids to bed. I cant help but blame the parent for allowing it. So how well do your kids handle bedtime?
8 people like this
30 responses
• United States
1 Mar 07
I see no problem with letting a child sleep with you. If it makes them feel more secure. Don't listen to others when it involves you & your child...advice is cheap. If you don't have a problem with it...what's the problem? :)
1 person likes this
• United States
28 Feb 07
My children have always been able to come and sleep with me in the night. They have their own beds and they know that when it is bed time that is where they are to go but occasionally one of them might wake up and have a bad dream or they just need some extra attention from mom, I don't see a problem with them crawling into bed with me. I have never had a problem with any of them wanting to get into my bed when my husband is home as he works nights but is home on his days off. I have actually read that it is very healthy for you to let your children sleep with you when they need to. I also can not recall ever having to fight my children to go to bed so obviously this has nothing to do with them sleeping in my bed or not.
• India
28 Feb 07
let them sleep with u and when they sleep u can enjoy because they are kid not child till they are 5 yrs they can sleep with u but after 5 they can sleep alone
1 person likes this
• United States
28 Feb 07
Well my Daughter does not sleep in our bed but on a mattress on our bedroom floor since she was about 5 she has never slept all night in her room and i tell you it is terble me and my husband never have any time alone we have even tried to put her in her room after she falls asleep and before you know it she is back in our room HELP PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!
@mfpsassy (2827)
• United States
1 Mar 07
Put her in her room make her stay there and get some earplugs, it will take a week or two but it will work.
@mfpsassy (2827)
• United States
1 Mar 07
Sorry wasn't done. Remove the matress from your room and even though it will make for a few long nights consistancy, continually put her back in her bed do not give in.
• Malaysia
2 Mar 07
sorry to hear that, maybe you could try fixing up a pretty room of her own if you have a spare room for her. You can tell her that that is her room and the two of you spare out a day to decorate it. Let her choose what color for the room, her bed ,etc. Give her a choice. After decorating the room, you could tell her that mummy's love was filled in that room. She can stay comfy in that room for a long time as the air is filled with mummy's love. Give her time doing anything in that room during the day. When it comes to night time, show her the way back to the room and read bedtime stories ( topic on parent's love ) or if you have any religion, do the prays in that room. Again filled the room with love. Tell her good night and leave a small lamp on inside her room. you have to repeat this for sometime and must have faith that this will work , soon your daughter will be able the sleep in her room. Sometimes you have to listen to your daughter's inner voice, maybe she is scare of something, it might be ridiculous make up ideas , but don't show it in your face, just comfort her, no comment. When you had earn the trust , she will trust you and sleep on her own. As she will remember that mummy's love is there with her.
@judyt00 (3504)
• Canada
28 Feb 07
After I kicked my ex out for cheating on me, I let my kids in my bed all the time, and they always went to bed when they were told. That has nothing at all to do with where the kids sleep, it has to do with the lack of respect and discipline in the household. There were mornings when I'd wake up to have all 3 of my kids under the blankets with me, my oldest was about 16 when she stopped crawling in when she was cold or had a nightmare.
• United States
28 Feb 07
What happens when your no longer single, Arent you afraid that your "private time" hehe could be interrupted. That is one of the reasons that I dont want my kids coming into my room in the middle of the night, I mean if they have a nightmare they come in, but they dont ever EXPECT to sleep in my room. I tuck them back in their own beds. I dont want my kids seeing anything they shouldnt..ya know what I mean.
• United States
28 Feb 07
Also to add, What if you get serious w/ someone and need to put your children back in their own beds? Wont they resent anyone your with, with the thought that "if it werent for him, we would still be able to sleep with mom"?, I would just hate to see this lead to problems for you all down the road.
@Ciniful (1589)
• Canada
28 Feb 07
One thing my father told me when I had my oldest son was, "When you have a child, they are not part of your life. You are becoming part of THEIR life." It's likely the only thing he said I agree with. Whether a mother is single or not shouldn't change her behavior with her kids, nor is it more important to have "fun time" than it is to be there, at all hours, for your kid. There is nothing wrong with allowing the kids to climb in, and if that interrupts your "fun time" .... well, welcome to motherhood.
• Philippines
28 Feb 07
I am a working mom. I spend most of my time in the office. My nannies are just the one who take care of my two daugthers. SO when im home i do take care of my babies. I see to it also that When they sleep they are beside me and my husband. It is better to spend time with your daugthers even during sleep so that they can feel that you care for them.
• United States
28 Feb 07
I agree with you. I sleep with my baby and he is nine months old. I started this because I am nursing him. It has worked out very well and I sleep good knowing that he is safe. I always am up before he gets up. It just works out for us. But I am concerned on how I am going to get him to his own bed in the future. It might be even harder for me to let go than for him.
• Malaysia
2 Mar 07
i don't agree of letting babies sleep on their parents bed. My son used to sleep in his own baby cot. At one time we let him sleep in our bed with us, he didn't want to sleep alone anymore. It takes up days to tune him back to his routine. Babies now a days are clever.My son even wake up in the middle of the night to check on us. He would just crawl up and touch our eyes to check if we are asleep.By the way, that was when he was still 8month. Now that we let him sleep in his cot beside our bed, he can still sees us whenever he wakes up but he will not disturb our sleep.
@tarsadawn (350)
• United States
1 Mar 07
My son has slept in our bed before. Sometimes he does it in his sleep. We will put him in his bed, then around 2am, he'll crawl in bed with us. Even if we put him back in his bed, he'll get in bed with us. When he was a baby, around 8 months or so, he slept better and more through the night in bed with us. Which was great, we didn't have to get up with him as much. He's 4 now...but I don't think I'd let him get in bed with us much longer...there's not enough room, he takes up the whole thing :).
@mfpsassy (2827)
• United States
1 Mar 07
LOL make sure it's your hubby who ends up on the floor
@spindrift (197)
28 Feb 07
I have 3 kids the youngest is 2 and will not sleep a full night in his own bed he used to be very good but moving him to his brothers room has stoped him sleeping through the night. I have to get up for him and Get him back to sleep in his bed. the second I leave the room he starts crying or moaning so for a peaceful night I just let him sleep in my bed when he gets in, some morinings I wake up and there he issound asleep next to me. I know I have to put a stop to it but it is hard to let im shout and put him back to bed then my husbaand gets stressed he does not sleep well anyway .
• United States
28 Feb 07
I have let my kids sleep with me until they were just a bit to old. Finally my youngest who is 2 is the only one that is left. Soon she'll be adventuring out because she is thrilled over her new Dora bed that hasn't quite yet been put together.
• United States
28 Feb 07
I let my boys sleep with my a couple of nights a week. My oldest boy which is 8 yrs old doens't fight me to go to bed though.If I tell him in your bed tonight he just goes in his bed no questions asked. My little one is only 7 months and like he would know the difference.So some nights when he falls asleep on me I just go ahead and laydown with him in my arns and sleep. Not a big deal to me as long as they know they can't do it all the time.
• Malaysia
2 Mar 07
Glad to know that your boys can differentiate this. Mine will do what he feels best, therefore if i let him sleep longer in our bed like a night in our bed with us, he will choose to sleep in our bed repeatedly. I will still cuddle him and let him sleep in our bed, not for long , when he slept, i will whisper in his ear to tell him that we will carry him back to his baby cot. He can sleep soundly in his cot till morning.
• United States
1 Mar 07
ohh yess..i have friends that have that exact same problem..and i am soo thankful that my son ha always been easy when its bedtime..we did have a few months last year when he had horrible nightmares,,and he ended sleeping with me..and then he just didnt even want to go to bed..and it was nice to have them beside me..but i knew i had to break it..soo we painted his room..got all new decorations..he got to pick them out..and i bought monster spray ..(spray bottle marked MONSTER SPRAY..with water hahahah!) and when he now wakes up scared of thre boogie man and what not..he sprays the room..lol..but ocasionally i still have to show him theers nothing there..
• Canada
1 Mar 07
Yes. We in Europe and North America are one of the only cultures in the world that takes our infants and young and shuts them away in a room by themselves. I let all three of my children into my bed and read just about all the literature I could find on the family bed before doing so. The theory is that by fulfilling all their emotional needs as infants, they grow up to be fully adjusted adults. Kids who do not get enough cuddling when they are young can turn out to be very needy as adults. Many people come up with all kinds of reasons to not have kids in bed with them, but the objections are easily dealt with. Ultimately, parents have the right to make whatever decisions they want (as long as they are responsible) about how to raise their kids. There are times when, as a parent, you just have to tell your own friends or parents to "zip it!"
• United States
1 Mar 07
well my son is 5 months old so he doesnt really know any better, but he goes to bed around 9pm. my son has only slept in my bed 2 times. once because it was the first night home after i had him, and the second was actually just a few days ago cause he has been sick. he has a virual infection, so he needs mommys love more than ever right now.but other than that no he sleeps in his crib.
@mfpsassy (2827)
• United States
1 Mar 07
Whether or not your kids sleep in your bed has nothing to do with bedtime that is just a matter of disipline and consistancy. My kids are 13 and 11 they still crawl in bed with us every now and then. As for parents alone time once you have kids that takes a backseat.
• United States
28 Feb 07
I don't let my kids sleep in my bed unless they are sick or the lights go out. I like my space and they kick too much.
@Sicantik (706)
28 Feb 07
I had my son sleep in our bed for the first 3 months but that's because I had a c-section and I couldn't really lift and carry him everytime he woke up in the middle of the night. After that he slept in his own cot but still in our room for few months. When he was nine months old we tought him to sleep in his own cot in his own room. It was not easy it took us about two weeks, and we had to let him cry sometimes. But after that even until now (2 year old)he's very good with bed time. We never had any problem. Especially after we bought him new junior bed, he always get excited when it come to bedtime because we let him choose his own bed and I think he really proud of it.
• Canada
28 Feb 07
I've never had my kids come into my bed with me. NEVER. I had my daughters crib in the bedroom with me, and when she started sleeping through the night at 4 months old, I put her into her nursery. She settled in extremely well and we never had any problems. The same with my boys. We had a few issues where they started sharing a room when we moved house. They go to bed and then play for a while, but they didn't come back downstairs or anything and they got themselves into bed when they were ready to sleep. My lids handle bedtime extremely well now. The boys go a little earlier than my daughter because she's a little bit older, and more often than not, they go straight to sleep. My daughter goes a half hour after them and she goes straight to sleep too. I'm glad they never shared a bed with me because the habit would have been near on impossible to break.
@sammantha (278)
• United States
28 Feb 07
No i don't we did for awhile and when it was time it was hard to get him out and into his own bed.When we had are second child we say that we are not going to do this again so are second never sleeped in are bed.
@mememama (3077)
• United States
28 Feb 07
I'll be the oddball here, we cosleep. Our son is now 18 months old. We know how to cosleep safely so we have no problems and didn't when he was a little baby. My son will take naps on his own and falls asleep on his own too. I was told by my mother that I coslept too, she had no problems getting me into my own bed. Actually most of the children in my family cosleep and the children choose when they want their own bed, which is usually around 2-3 years old. To each their own I guess.
@linda28 (24)
• Ireland
28 Feb 07
I never let my daughter into my bed either, even when she was in her cot, I would stand beside it for up to an hour or two if she woke until she settled again. I too think it's bad practice, i know of a friend who has two kids, and up to the age of her eldest being about 11 they all went to sleep in their own beds but all woke up in different ones due to swapping round at night! My daughter is five now and it's only very rare she would ask to sleep with me (bad dream or something) then she only climbs in for about 5 mins before wanting to get back into her own bed. However she does still like a light on when she goes to sleep, but i usually turn it off later and leave a dim one on the landing lit.
• Canada
28 Feb 07
Mine had a cradel in our room till they were sleeping throu the night then they went to there own rooms. It is like you said bedtime they go get ready and head to bed no fights or arguments. To add a comment to your about the screaming for hours a friend of mine she has to bribe or barter her kids to bed or whose turn is it to sleep in her bed tonight. you are so righ tabout it being the parents fault they are the ones who allow it a child will try to get what ever they can if the parent lets them. Sound to me like you are doing a great job in my book top marks to you.