should i stop thinking about happy endings?

Slovak Republic
February 28, 2007 3:01am CST
i am 23 yrs old and yes i am in love with someone right now. we moved in together and all that. the best 2 years of my life. I know it's kinda early to tell if i would be with this person for the rest of my life but i just got on with the flow. are relationship had suffered major problems and frustrations. he cheated on me, but i forgave him and since he lost his job the relationship become more unstable. the used to be sweet talks and endless proclamation of forever are now turning sour and bitter. i really don't want these things to happen but i feel i have no control on the situation. i am a very optimistic person and i am living up to that still. do you think i am just being optimistic and this relationship won't really work? any advice... i had the feeling i stopped believing that happy endings can exist.
2 responses
@unithorn (193)
• United States
28 Feb 07
I have been in a situation quite similar to yours. I lived with a guy for two years after dating him for a while (we moved in together the year we got out of high school) and even moved to another state with him. Fisrt off, forgiving him for cheating is quite big of you - would he have forgiven you? Secondly, I think that things have gone sour in your relationship (as they did in mine) because it's getting too real. Living with someone takes away the illusion and the mystery - you get to know the person on an extremely intimate level, which can actually pull people apart. My dear, happy endings can and do exist. Keep searching, struggling, and learning. In the mean time, from what you've told me, I think that you need to plan out how you are going to move on. Generally (with rare exception) someone who cheats will resort to that measure again, whether it is out of boredom, frustration, or retalliation. You say that you seem to have little control over the situation, in which you imply that he is the one having most of the problems. It looks to me that he is not ready to settle, and that everything is becoming too much like a marriage for someone who is not ready to commit. This doesn't make him a bad person (though, in my book, the cheating should have turned you away from him)...but that doesn't mean that he's the right person for you, either. You know the situation best - think hard. If you decide to leave, plan a course of action. Find out where you can stay, if you can get your name off of the lease (unless he wants to leave), etc. Look through your finances, make sure that you can survive. Then, talk to him. IF you still want to leave/kick him out, do so (since he doesn't have a job....)...if you want to stay, proceed with caution! good luck!
• Slovak Republic
1 Mar 07
I dunno if he can make the same thing for me - forgiving me for cheating.. but i so love him that's why i did that. yeah sometimes, living together makes people realize that they are not meant for each other. it just tears me apart thinking of not having him in my life... thanks for the advice unithorn.
@unithorn (193)
• United States
1 Mar 07
It is almost always difficult to give up something familiar, comfortable. Follow your heart, as it will lead you where you are supposed to go. Even if that place is ugly, dark and cold. Make sure that you are not abused. I wish you luck.
• Slovak Republic
2 Mar 07
thanks unithorn. yeah sometimes, because you are so used to and comfortable with someone.. it makes it twice harder to give them up although you don't really love them anymore.
@meera88 (737)
• India
28 Feb 07
hey.....jus dont try to complex ur relationship....make it simple.....speak wit him straight away.....ask him if he is interested in this relationship further.....ask him to give a honest reply...if he says no.....jus leave him.... if yes......tell him wat u r missing in tis relationship....n if u cant work out things well...n u r still frustrated wit the relationship..you guys need to part... n love is every where ......u can find ur true love in someone else...... i still believe u have a happy ending ahead......my best wishes........
• Slovak Republic
1 Mar 07
thanks for the advice meera88... im really having a hard time with the on and off thingie...